The Tale of Finnick Odair
by Missbexiee
Summary: Finnick is such a unique character - and we barely get to meet him. This is the tale of his life, through his life. How he trialed through his games, the Capitol, Annie's Games, the Quell, and the rebellion. Finnick/Annie
1. Chapter 1

**So... time for the foreword! I actually wrote this story and finished it a few years ago - when I was a lot younger. But I've recently gone through it, edited the hell out of it, and with the catalyst of the Catching Fire movie fueling me, I thought what better time to post it than now?! So without further adieu here is my heart and soul - took me about an entire month to write... an entire story of Finnick's life from HIS perspective, I thought he was such an interesting character who was never fully explored.**

**The story can get rather long, but it has lots of juicy parts and humorous moments. I hope you like Finnick as much as I do. Enjoy!**

**And like every fanfic, Finnick, the Hunger Games, etc... do not belong to me. Thanks!**

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"Get off of that, boy!" I am startled by my father's gruffly voice and knock over the barrel leaning against the ship. I can feel the eyes of the crew staring at me, my cheeks getting red as I quickly try to fix the mess I had made. The catches of the day lay flopping on the freshly waxed deck.

My father comes up from behind, picking me right up by the collar of my rope necklace, the one tied to the shark tooth. He dunks me into the water right on the other side of the ship. With what ease that man could lift my already massive body. I feel air escaping my lungs as the salty water fills my nose. I hear all the men laughing. I have to look strong. My father merely laughs cruelly as he fixes what I had failed to. I can see part of the ship as I bob slowly, up and down, in the water. I feel weak. I hop on to a far corner, where none of the crew would be, it is swarmed with rats and other undesirables like me. I grab a fishing pole and try to cast it out. I hope that my lady, the ocean, will bring peace to me. Why did they all hate me?

I watch the sunset as the water becomes lit with little white crystals. The stars. As the ship docks and ropes are thrown, the salty air makes your skin sticky, and combines with the mix of dirt and sweat from a three days voyage. I quickly hop down, waiting for my father to hand me the catchings. Instead I watch in pain as he hands it to another boy my age – knowing that I upset my father today. I almost want to cry, he means for me to think about my actions today. I run off, around the curve of the sandy beach, my sandals had been kicked off in the ship. I love the crunchy feeling as the little pebbles puncture the soles of my feet and stick in-between my toes.

I find it, behind the mountain peak, a small secluded part of my lady. It hides the ship houses of District Four, it hides the smelly wharfs, and boats. I dive in the water without hesitation. Letting the water fill my nostrils and sting. I swim pushing gallons of water behind me. I go far out, I have always been a good swimmer. I decide to go under, holding my breath and looking at the amazing world beneath me. Hundreds of little fish swimming around me, I manage to keep my body steady enough to have the fish come and suck on my toes and tickle my body. Three minutes go by until I need air. I come up and notice a little girl, with an unbelievable face, staring at me.

Confused, and thinking I had just seen a mermaid, I head back down for another three minutes, except I hadn't gathered enough air earlier and come up after a minute and a half. She's still there, just staring at me. Her brown locks brushing her bronzed skin, little freckles from the sun on her nose. I watch her intently as she dives in, thinking she is strange, I swim a bit further out, watching the spot where she dived. I wait for a good 5 minutes, impressed she can stay down that long, until I realize...

And before I do, I have already swam to that area of the water, diving deep under it and finding her covered in seaweed. How has she not learned to swim? I grab her small body and prop her on my shoulder. Pushing the gallons of water behind me, we make our way to the top of the water. I throw her on the sand, as I recall the millions of times my father had done this for others. I push down on her chest, with all my strength, watching the water flow of out her mouth. Following the steady beat I had set as I grab her nose and hold it shut. I reach over to her lips and press mine against them, breathing life back into her small frame. I watch her eyes shoot open with energy and then calm back down to nothing. She coughs as she sits up.

I give her a confused look as I begin to question her, "Why didn't you swim? Are you crazy?" I am baffled, everyone in District 4 has to know how to swim, it's how we produce our main product: fish – of course the bulk of it goes to the Capitol, but it's our main resource. "I was scared! I -" I look at her dense eyes.

She looks scared herself. I can barely make out her whisper, "I wanted to be like you. Swimming beautifully. I wanted to escape to the world down there." I laugh nervously and help her up. I ask if she would like me to walk her home as she grabs my hand. I look back at this little girl, confused.

"Can you teach me how to swim?" There is a sense of fear in her voice. I look into her green eyes, just like mine. Like the sea, like the water, like the fish. We are the same. I nod giving her a friendly smile. I tell her I'll come to this spot tomorrow as she sits herself down and watches the stars decorate the water from above. I give her a smile as I leave her there and make my way back to my house. It's not far.

My father is the head of his ship, it's of some importance here, but not too much. Our home is only a little larger then the others, still cramped, but you can actually stand up in the bathroom – so that's something. The sand reaches all the way to our ship house. It was made of wood, but it's so old that the brownness has turned to gray. The water washing away all the colors, or maybe it's the salt... how would I know? I'm just a fisherman's son.

I quietly turn the door knob. I look at the rum bottles. There she is, my mother, sitting on the chair in the corner of the kitchen, fresh blood dripping from her lips. She was so pretty in her old pictures, but the struggle of her alcoholic husband, miscarriage, and injuries of my baby sister – all of these tragedies, aged her to a different woman.

I breathe silently as I move through the dark house, stopping quickly as an old board begins to moan, I don't want to wake her. I make my way to the small corner of the house. I open the door that is as high as my chest and make my way inside. Ducking down as I find my mattress in the corner. This is a relief to my body, the past three days I had been out on the water, sleeping on the wet wood. The warmth and softness feels good on my body. I look at the crib next to me. My baby sister. Only 2 years old, but so much of her life gone. A face so striking, eyes like mine – but I suppose that is just a signature of my family.

I've noticed, how the other people look at me. The men and boys with shots of scorn in their eyes, and the women with shots of lust. I am only 14, and yet I have the face and body of a strong man. My arms, chest and legs are muscular and tan. My sea green eyes, just like the girl at the beach, compliment my dusty dark brown hair. I won't lie, I am gorgeous. A beautiful specimen of a human. But how will any of this matter? The boys from the school, who refuse to be my friends try to make my life a living hell, throwing my possessions around the class rooms, yelling taunts at me. The men on the ship do it too, making my failures bigger then what they are. Jealousy, the color of green, my favorite color.

I thought I was more comfortable on the mattress until I notice that the rocking of the ship is missing and I fail to fall asleep. So I lie there the entire night, trapped in my thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hunger Games does not belong to me. Please enjoy. :)**

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The next morning I expect bags under my eyes but find none. I know I will have to go to school today. In District 4, you have the option of missing school for 3 days, in replacement of learning a trade, but on the fourth day you have to attend school. It's an odd tradition, but it follows a fisherman's schedule, keeping all the boys in line with what their fathers have to do, as their fathers did, and so on. I am no exception. I know I will be forced into the fishing business. I love the water, so there's no problem, but some part of me wants something more.

I make my way to our kitchen, where the light is slowly creeping in through the cracks of wood. I find the salty greenish bread on the table. My mother's lovingly prepared breakfast. She must have made my way to my father's bed last night, ignoring the argument they had obviously had. But the breakfast is better then none. Few families starve in 4, but it's not unheard of. We don't eat too well, but if you're a boy on the ship, you can get away with eating fish. I wonder if this is why I look so much stronger then the other boys, my father took my on my first fishing trip when I was 5, since then I have been eating fish like crazy – something not everyone in 4 gets to do. It sounds crazy, not being able to eat our own export, but the Capitol makes sure to have more then their fair share so there's never too much for us. The Capitol, the word alone makes me want to spit and wash out my mouth.

I had almost forgot that tomorrow was the reaping. That word makes me shiver. I know I have nothing to worry about, my name only being in their three times. Other boys have worse odds then me. Nonetheless, it manages to eat at the back of my mind for the whole school day. I go through the motions. Learning about things I know don't pertain to my future of fishing. My worst subject is English, but luckily I am always on the ship when we have the class. I roll my eyes at the comments the other boys throw at me.

"Pretty Boy." "Capitol Bait." "Sexy Squid." The insults themselves mean nothing to me, it's the sting that comes from these boys' tongues that set me off. It stings like salt in your eyes, something that you put up with, until it eventually burns too much and you need to come up to wash them out. In math class I am sure I've had enough. I look out the school's windows, just wishing to be by my beach paradise... I ignore the eyes cast upon me, some in scorn, others in love. It is meaningless to me.

As the school bell rings everyone makes their way out to the courtyard, one of the few areas in 4 not covered in sand or palm trees. It has a small garden to it. The only other places with any greenery are the town square and the Victor's Village. Occupied to large capacity, we seem to do well in the games, not as good as District 2 or 1 sometimes, but we've had our share of wins. The houses in the Victor's Village look so nice. What I would do to live in a house like that – and then I think about that. To live there you have to survive the odds and kill 23 other children. I don't think it's worth it at that point. But all that money... I shut the thoughts out, thinking they're ridiculous.

I hadn't even noticed my body making my way to the square. Looking at the fish in the shops, some that I swear were my catches from the day before. I make my way to my favorite shop. Lined with fishing supplies, it has tridents and spears, and, my favorite, the baskets and ropes I had weaved for the lady who runs the store. The old lady shuffles her way out from the back closet to smile at me.

"Finnick my dear! Come come!" I happily walk in. Grandma C, as I call her, has been the nicest member of my family since I met her. She's not actually my grandmother, she just likes to humor me and give me a place of refugee from my father. People respect him, but everyone knows what he does to my mother. I wonder if they know what he does to me, but I'm sure people don't care.

Grandma C places a piping hot bowl of clam chowder in front of me. I slurp it down grinning happily as she tells me stories of her dead husband. I never met him, but he sounds like a bunch of fun. Always drunk, always 'swearing like a sailor', covered in tattoos. I laugh as she tells me how he knocked himself out of the boat on Christmas Day... it's a kind of humor only people in 4 can have. We laugh at our tragedies and keep going even though they eat at us till the end.

I begin to talk about school, and how hard it is with the others there. But I try to make it sound like I am not whining, and Grandma C is happy to listen. She strokes my hair as a tear comes up in my eye. Telling me to be a warrior and not get upset. She was the first one to teach me about jealousy. How painful and hurtful it is, the viscous circle it causes. She gives me a big hug, and tells me that those people are unaware of the effect their words can have, and how it shouldn't bother me – how greater a human I am then them. She motions to my chowder as if telling me to eat up, and then she disappears into the back of the shop. As I lick the bowl, she throws me a rope and a trident. My eyes light up.

"Mind bringing me a swordfish?" She winks at me. She always knows what I want. She tells me to go out to the sea and enjoy myself. She does what she can to answer my questions and problems, but the ocean is the girl with the real answers, she can listen forever and ever. I throw the trident around my shoulders and drape the rope on it as well. I wave back to Grandma C in the shop as I hop down the steps and practically run to the mountain. Technically we can't fish for sport, or even for food. If the peacekeepers cared they'd get me in trouble, but they don't mind – or to my knowledge even know what I am doing, to them I probably just look like a man going out to sea on a new voyage.

I am surprised to see a familiar face in my mountains, until I remember why she is there. I sit down next to her, apparently my coming was unnoticed by her. I stare at what she sees. The sunset. "The sea is magic isn't it? It can make even the prettiest things prettier." I say to her.

She nods as she acknowledges me. I remember our deal but she doesn't ask me about it. So she just stares in awe as I quickly tie a net out of the rope. I look at her face and smile. "I know, people say it's hard, but knotting the ropes into nets is relaxing to me – so I find it easy." I throw it firmly in my other hand and grasp the trident in the other, then I beg her to come out to the water with me. She shakes her head and blushes.

"I don't know how to swim," she reminds me in a whisper that is a little louder then the one before. I smile as I grab her body and throw it over my shoulder. She screams as I throw myself into the water. I laugh as we come back for air. I try to steady her in the water. Her eyes are swimming with fear.

"I won't let anything happen to you." I reassure her. Her eyes quickly switch to form a look of undeniable trust. I help her move her arms and feet, teaching her how to float. She grasps this idea quickly and her face beams brightly with a smile. I smile at her too.

I start teaching her my tips... don't waste your energy flailing around if the water overtakes you. Steady yourself to a float, using only short bursts of energy when necessary – this is what I was told to do if I was ever stranded at sea. Then I teach her all the strokes of swimming. Ones to use when you're close to land, ones that exert lots of energy from your arms, others with your legs. Even I am surprised with her quickness and ease of learning these. She listens to every word I say, letting it process as she does exactly what I say the next second. Soon we are about 2 miles away from shore.

I explain all the details and lore of tridents, showing her up close as we float together. Her eyes look it over. I explain its purpose and find my target. The pink creature I spotted earlier is beneath us. I have her hold the trident as I dive deep down into the water. Holding my breath, I slowly and gently cast my net around the creature before if even knows I am there. I take a look around at the ocean floor, I am always sad when my body starts to float its way back to the top. I see the colorful rocks that I wish were my home. I swim back to the top with the swordfish in my net and take the trident and steady the fish as I puncture it fatally. With my catch in hand we both head back to shore.

"It's not good to be alone in the dark while in water. It can only lead to death," I explain as I clean off the swordfish. She touches its scales.

"So beautiful." She mouths. I feel like I am the only human who can make this out.

"I know. The creatures of the sea are magnificent. So many different types and -"

She stops me, "I meant you. You don't look real. The way you throw the net, the way you puncture with the trident, and your eyes... it's just." She isn't making any sense and I just quiet her as we lie back on the sand our bodies drying themselves. The sky is dark and filled with stars, but the sand is just beginning to cool off, it's still hot from today's sun. I point out what I know about the stars.

"They're a fisherman's best friends. They can show you where you're going and what time it is. They explain it all." I point out the north star and explain the others and their lore. She finds it fascinating. Then I point out how far one of the stars stretches and how we should head home since its late. She sighs. Even in the darkness though, I can see her smile.

I am expecting just a thank you but am returned with a heavy and long-held hug. "You're my first friend." She squeaks out. That's the loudest I have ever heard her. I pull her closer, knowing that emotions are getting the best of me, you're my first friend too, I want to yell out. But I don't I just let her hold onto me as I put my chin in her damp hair.

At some point we are forced to pull away and we walk together on the beach. She confides in me how the other girls in her grade dislike her. I feel like Grandma C as I tell her to ignore those people. We reach my house. I am forced to depart from my new friend. I think about it, besides a few adults she is really my first 'real' friend. Someone who's not trying to befriend me because of my looks, or because they want to prank me. She's a real person I can trust.

"Until tomorrow then!" I smile. A thought strikes me, "Perhaps I can get another trident and we can fish tomorrow?" I enjoy the thought of being in the company of my new friend.

I can see the corners of her mouth move up but she only says, "Too bad tomorrow is the reaping though. I guess we'll see." She turns away before I can give her a hug to say goodbye. The reaping. I had forgotten about that already. I head into the house, put the trident and dead fish on the table – I'm sure it will please my mother. I need to remember to return it to Grandma C though.

To my surprise I am actually able to sleep. I think about how ridiculous it would be for my name to be called. I've never been added in extra times – which can happen if times are bad and you need more food, but my family has never needed it to come to that. I think about the girl. How do I not know her name yet? I think she's young though. Most likely only twelve... it'll be her first year and I bet her name is only in their once.

I dream, a happy dream. Being out on sea. With a boy that looks like me. Or maybe it is me, I am unsure... but whoever it is, he is happy while being out on sea with his father. I wake up and notice where the sun shines in the sky.


	3. Chapter 3

**The reaping... dun dun dun... Hunger Games is not mine.**

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Sedna begins crying next to me. I pick her up and lay her on my shoulder she's almost three years old but she is suffering in her head. My father went on a drunken rampage one night. I remember running and crying at the neighbor's house with my body covered in blood as I explained how my father was trying to kill us all. I almost break into tears right in this room thinking about how damaged my baby sister has become. I refuse to think about it anymore though.

I put on my reaping outfit with one hand. It is a nice formal outfit, usually worn for weddings or funerals a little gray and frayed because of time. The Capitol forces us to go to the reaping dressed up and looking nice for the camera. The cameras. I hold my little sister as I look around the house. Her crying has stopped. The house is empty. I only ponder where my father and mother are for a moment and then ignore it.

"Who cares," I say to myself. I feed my little sister her food and pick the untouched swordfish off the table and carry the trident. I have about an hour before the reaping begins. I find Grandma C's shop and hand her the fish and the supplies. She looks at me with a sad look she only has on reaping days. I know she lost her son to the Games. I give her a reassuring smile that I give everyone. She takes Sedna out of my arms and pats her back as I eat some more chowder.

An applause comes from outside and Grandma C, holding my sister, and I walk through the crowds of people. I wave goodbye as I find myself to the table, check my name, and am led to the group of other 14 year olds. There are 12 groups of kids. Ages 12 to 18, girls and boys separated. We are all hushed down, and I squint to look at the city hall building, our mayor lives there. You can't really see the building, there are three large TV screens set up to each side. There are also cameras on the tops of all the buildings, just itching to catch our reactions. I see a large blue figure on the stage. A booming voice fills our district.

"Cherished and honorable greetings to you all! I am pleased to be in District 4 yet again! As I am sure all of you are curtly aware of today, it is the beginning of the 65th Hunger Games!" A small roar of applause comes from the audience. I have to force myself to clap. Since the games are typically in our favor, most of us act like we enjoy them. I remember the blue figure from a few years ago. Thomps is his name, he's the man who keeps our tributes on schedules when they're selected. He has a demanding and sinister voice, making it all the more creepy when he speaks with that weird Capitol accent.

"Let us all make a warm welcome for your returning mentor and victor, Mags!" I actually clap for her, she was a tribute from, oh wow, how long ago... let's just say she's a relic in the district. She mentors and helps the poor kids who are chosen as tributes. She doesn't smile, actually, it looks like she's grimacing on the TV screen.

Thomps continues to explain to us the reasons for why we are forced to fight – none of it interests me too much. They tell us that because of the war that started 65 years ago, every year since all of the districts are forced to send one boy and girl into an arena and have those children fight to the death... until only one is left standing. This is the price we pay for losing the war. They tell us this every year, in case we forget while mourning our dead children.

Thomps makes his way to the reaping jar, where all of our names are. The ladies are first. Everyone is silent, hoping it's someone they don't know, hoping it's not them. For the first time I notice that Thomps has high shoes on that I typically see on women, it makes me want to laugh until the gravity of these games comes back to me.

"Nicky Klytie!" Thomps yells as she reads out the name. The crowd opens for the 16 year old, so she can make her way to the stage. She is fighting tears, I can see it in her face.

"Congratufantanulousations my dear!" He yells flamboyantly as he begs the audience to clap for the scared girl. I think he just spit on the crowd in front of him. We clap slowly and quietly. Loud wails are heard in the crowd and are quickly quieted by a Peacekeeper. Now for the moment that gets my heart pumping. The boys.

I look around at my group, I see the 12 and 13 year olds before me, clutching to one another. Us, in the 14 year old group stand strong, even though our eyes say something different. Behind us I know the 18 year olds are praying that this is it, they will not have been called for 6 years of their lives and they will be done and allowed to live their lives. I wish I was them.

I think about the odds, the horrible tag line the Capitol gives us. "May the odds ever be in your favor." I am rolling the dice right now. I see Thomps pull out a name. I pray my odds are good. I glance up to the stage, unable to hear anything, until I see the screen. I see my name, and I know that the odds were wrong.

The boys in my group push my out into the front. I see crying females, and cheering males. I wonder if the cameras think this makes me popular. My ears have switched off as I try to make my way up the stairs. I remember the tributes from years before – look strong, look strong, I keep repeating in my head.

I don't know the 16 year old, but Thomps grabs our hands and shows us to the audience who seem to be in an uproar. We are quickly led inside the city hall and into separate rooms. I've never noticed the beauty of the hall before. It is old, but has thick white molding that pays tribute to the sea. I actually like it. Grandma C barges in. Her eyes are very wet as she embraces me for a long and hard amount of time.

"You only have three minutes. Please, Finnick. You are strong, handsome, the crowd will love you. I love you." She hugs me close and I am coming to tears. She pulls back, "you can not cry." She wipes my eyes and kisses my cheek. "I will take care of Sedna. You are such a golden boy." She gulps down, throwing all these things at me, moaning loudly in pain as we both try to extinguish the tears. "My son died in these games, please Finncik try -" A peacekeeper comes in and begins to pull Grandma C out. I reach out and grab her hand pulling tightly as I kiss her forehead and kiss Sedna as she begins to cry.

My mind is swirling with thoughts. Most of them are questions I can never answer: Why?

Why had Grandma C never told me in detail about her son, where were my parents, why is she taking care of Sedna? Of course all of these questions are forgotten or at least put on hold as Nicky and I are loaded into a train. I had never been this far past the square. Odd how you live in an area your whole life and never inspect the biggest area, besides the wharfs, of your town. The train station is large, and well used. Not by anyone of little importance though, only high classy titles get to use it. Most of us are forced to stay in the district. Tributes, politicians, people from the Capitol – those are the people who get to use the trains.

My mouth drops at what I see as we step inside a passenger train. It's gorgeous. Plush couches, with soft velvety green – the color of home. Already I feel home-sick though, and we haven't even left 4 yet. The walls are draped in a white cloth as pure as the sky. I look out the window. District 4. I was leaving them, and going to what? My death. I searched the crowds for the girl from the beach, what is her name? As I watch the train starts to move the drapes are closed. I turn and see everyone sitting at a table.

"Come join us, pretty boy." The words sting, but I listen to Nicky's suggestion and join them. We sit at the table and are served decadence on a plate. Long strands of noodles, these small white grains I have never seen before, and meat. Meat! I have eaten lots of fish, but meat from animals is rare. Besides rats... if your catches are particularity bad on a day in the ship, you tend to ignore the fact that these rodents are crawling with disease and cook them. Not my favorite, but I am told that we're eating a creature called a deer. Never seen those on the beach.

Thomps explains how he has the best of all the worlds, and how adorable the tributes always look when they see the new foods. Then he thanks us for not being like some of the starving 'twit' tributes, his words not mine, in the later districts, particularly 10, 11, and 12. I think about those districts, factories, coal, orchards. They're never too popular. I begin eating the deer when they bring out dessert. My mouth begins dripping. Chocolate. The only time I had had that before was when we traded with those hairy strangers out in the ocean. I reach out to grab the whole cup as Nicky looks at me like I'm crazy.

"It's the best stuff in the world!" I hold the bowl to her taunting her to try it. She scoops a finger in the melted brown goo and I can tell the exact second when the sweetness has just hit the tip of her tongue. We both dig into the pot now. If we did have acceptable manners before, they were gone now as we lick this bowl of chocolate and order more. Surely the Capitol has plenty to share with us.

I watch our mentor laugh at us. She reminds me of Grandma C. An old lady. Mags. How did she even win the games? I proceed to ask her when the next bowl of chocolate is brought out. She smiles at me as I lick it up.

She just keeps smiling, her eyes are almost gone when her wrinkly face presses into that smile.

"How do we win?" Nicky asks as she places the bowl of chocolate down looking at the smiling old lady. I understand her question... of course we have to kill the all tributes from the 11 other districts, but by means of winning there are no real rules. She ponders the question, understanding what I do, but Thomps speaks up.

"You don't die... you've watched the games before."

"No, she doesn't mean it like that. We want to know secrets. What do we grab, what don't we do. Of course we know what we've seen on TV, but how do you _really _win. How do you defeat the others."

"Water." Mags smiles. I nod and Nicky looks in confusion.

"What about the water? We find it or we use it? How do we know if it will be there?" She seems frustrated with Mags's one-worded answer.

"She means, we have to find it," I explain to her. Nicky shoots a look at me, and Mags nods. I feel a connection to her already. " Survival comes first?"

She nods.

Nicky throws her hands up, "Great! We have a mute mentor!" She starts walking out the car.

I shrug my shoulders and then copy Nicky's voice, "Great! We have an angry tribute!" I laugh and so does Mags. We smile at each other. Then I see a boot flying through the air. I catch right before it hits my face. I can hear an angry sigh from the next car knowing that I wasn't hit.

Thomps looks at me surprised, "you have some good reflexes? That'll come in handy." I look to Mags for reassurance. She nods. I continue asking the about basic theories I have and they are responded with a nod or angry shake of the head. I seem to have a good idea of what I need to do. I plan on winning no doubt. For Sedna and Grandma C. Why would I throw my life away? I am coming back a victor. So far, I know to make an alliance, one that is strong but easy to break off, I have to find water, particularly a place with fish, and I really need to play up my attractiveness and be promiscuous. This is how I get the audience to send me gifts. By this they mean I will have sponsors. Rich people in the Capitol who spend lots of money hoping I win, since they bet on us. And being attractive helps.

I make my way to my compartment when I see the Capitol coming into view. My mouth drops even further then it did when I saw the train. Gorgeous. One word. Millions of colors mixing together like a rainbow. The people, the people! I see them, crazy costumes, long lashes, white skin, they look crazy – but oh, how rich?! They begin screaming when I come out of the train. I remember watching the recap of my reaping on the TV, the announcers were thrilled I was picked, they kept commenting on the 'Handsome Poseidon'. They called me the God of the Sea. I had never been complimented like that before. And yet Mags's nods kept ringing in my head. Give the audience what they want, give them your body and face.

As the screaming Capitolians cheer my name I watch Nicky snake out behind me. She gives me a death glare, the kind a 16 year old would give a 14 year old getting all the attention. She was pretty though. She had bronze skin and bleach blond hair, but gray eyes, and a short body. The crowd wasn't cheering for her. I felt bad, until I notice she is a possible enemy. I actually don't even know her skill... I can make rope and throw sharp things with great accuracy. But what can she do? Maybe she is a valuable ally? Or maybe she's a kid set up to get killed at the Cornucopia. The bloodshed hidden in the meaning of that word makes me shiver, but I look at the crowd. I give them a cocky smile. I rip off the shirt covering my muscles and watch as the crowd swoons. I laugh and Mags gives me her smile of approval. We are led off the train to a hotel of sorts. I felt the tributes from 1 and 2 giving me a glare as well... everyone except the Sponsors and Mags seem out to get me right now – that'll change in the arena though.

We are led up a tube to the fourth floor. It is gorgeous, again, that word describes the Capitol. I slump back into a couch as they explain to us that training is tomorrow. Tonight we have the opening ceremonies, but there's not too much for us to worry about. Mags looks at Nicky and I intently. I question her.

"What is it Mags?" I give a concerned face, of real concern. This woman, so old, and so full of knowledge.

"Tridents." She stops takes a breath and another word comes out, "Knives." I know the tridents were directed to me, but what did it mean? And I never knew Nicky was good with knives.

She shakes her head, "I've only ever helped my dad clean the fish, I don't know how to do anything else with them." I ponder this. When I was younger Grandma C had taught me how to clean fish, the popular technique is called fileting. You cut the fish's skin and meat off to the bone. I thought about this in another concept – what kind of damage could you do to another human by fileting their body. I shudder. I question whether I should explain what Mags means by her statement. Isn't Nicky an enemy? Or perhaps, if I come off friendly, there could be that alliance I am supposed to make. And by the way people have looked at me, I know not too many people are keen on helping me.

"Filet a fish – think about it. What could you do if you got someone on the ground?" That's all I say until Nicky's eyes light up. Mags doesn't nod. I must have done something wrong. Was I not supposed to help her, or was I wrong in Mags's interpretation? No, I was right in interpretation.

Thomps speaks up, "Well here's my two cents – even though I could offer 2,000!" He laughs as we all stay silent, then he collects himself. "Go to survival skills, they're always empty, but it's important. Say there are no weapons for you Finnick? They'll teach you how to make traps, food is important too, what if there's no fish?" He gets distracted by the big bottle of wine that appears. He pours four glasses. "To us!"

I hold up my glass, never before have I drank wine before. Nicky drinks the glass before we even finish the toast and pours a new one. I watch sweat drip from her brow. She seems worried, scared even. I suppose I am too, but I keep getting distracted – how do I win, who do I please next, the game has already began for me.

"To us," I repeat. "To district four!" I add. Mags smiles at that. The wine tickles my brain and the room spins a bit. I know alcohol does stuff, I've watched my parents enough to know this – but I didn't know it did anything like this. I can't even hear really while I am pulled back to the elevator, as they call it, and am taken down to 'hair and makeup'.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hunger Games is not mine. Enjoy! **

* * *

I hear a squeal as I arrive. A prep team. They give me a huge smile. "We've never gotten to work with someone already SO gorgeous!" I gush at this comment. Their hair has been dyed to my color, unlike the other people of the Capitol with the crazy colored hair styles – it seems natural. I laugh to myself, thinking they are trying to start a 'trend' – something meaningless to the people back home, who only ever have to worry about fish.

They begin to go to work. They wax my legs a bit, but still leave a bit of scruffiness to my appearance. I listen to the other tributes as they're worked on... lots of yelling and begging not to get rid of this and that. The one stylist notices my eyes wandering down the other rooms. She smiles.

"Oh sweetie! That's what happens to the uglier tributes, you're already done!" I look at myself. So I am already considered beautiful, I ponder to myself about this and that trying to pass time until the next step. I am then introduced to the craziest looking person I have ever seen in my life.

A tall, and I mean tall, white wig covered in random things reaches up about a meter above her head. It has flowers, birds, sticks, fish! She's crazy. Her makeup is even weirder. She has a thick black line around her eyes and the poke out at the sides is like one of those people who make those large triangles of sand in the history books. Her lips only have color on her flower pedals at the top and a short triangle on the bottom lip. Then there's her tight corset that pushes these large melons of fat up to her chin. She is covered head to toe in blue and green – which seem to be 'my colors.' Her lips turn up when she sees me.

"Handsome, you three probably didn't have to do much to him, huh?" She gives her prep team a nod. "Come on Finny baby, let's get you dressed." I try to remember other outfits. Usually sailor outfits, or one year, I shudder, a fish costume. She sits me down on a couch. "Alright. I was thinking of a fish." My heart sinks. Great... for the fish costume all they did was tie smelly old fish together and have them hang from the tributes. She sees my disappointment. "Oh, but heavens no! Finny baby, you think I would put YOU in something like that bad fish catastrophe. No no no!" She stands me up and shows me my costume. I am confused. "Take off the clothes darling." I oblige as I stare at the wooden box in her hands.

"How is that a costume?" I ask. She looks at the box and laughs.

"Just cover your eyes for a moment and I'll show you." I follow her direction as I feel her cold hands pressing slime on my body. Oh god, this will be a disaster. But it's not like you can say anything. I think we just have to follow their direction. Then I feel the cold hands grab in between my legs and wrap something around it. I jump a bit as she feels up and around. She shows no shame. She turns me around and tells me to open my eyes. To my relief I am not covered in slime or fish, just golden scales. You can see how my bronze body compliments the gold. It makes me look like a fish-man almost, but a handsome one. I look as the scales are somewhat scarce near my chest and then plentiful on my legs. I notice the golden starfish strapped into place, by means I don't want to imagine, on my crotch. She places a golden crown on my head, the crown is decorated with signs of the sea. Then I notice what I am. A mermaid. Or, in my case a merman I guess. I step back. Everything together looks incredible.

"I've got to hand it to you, your hands no what they are doing!" She blushes.

"Finny... baby, only the best for you. It screams, My name is Finnick, I am from District Four, and my designer Noqall is the best!" She laughs as she slaps me on the back. "Alright time for you to get to the chariot." I wait around, we certainty saved time by not changing too much with my face or body. I notice there's coffee on the table. I usually hate the stuff but there are these weird cubes of white. I grab one and pop it in. It's so sweet. I put them in my hands and notice Mags come up to me. She takes one and smiles while looking me over. I laugh, nothing like an old lady checking you out!

She pulls my hand to our horse on our chariot. She begins to feed it the sugar. The horse smiles and nays. I notice this is the first time I've seen one of these up close. I pet his hair and feed him the cube that he eats out of my hand. Mags slaps it down, causing a few cubes to fall.

She points to her hands and just says, "thumbs!" I understand. The horse might try to eat them. I smile and try again, making sure to tuck my thumbs in, and she smiles again as well. I never thought so much strength could come out of such a small old lady. I feel a tap on my shoulder, I turn to see it's Nicky. She looks amazing. She sees my face of shock and yells, "Don't be so surprised! Of course I am beautiful." I laugh, but not as loud as before.

She is the same as I am except there are golden starfishes on her breasts to make them look fuller, the crown and hanging shells in her hair are spectacular. We look fantastic together. I help her in the cart and feel a wave of accomplishment, something I should only feel if I manage to actually win this crazy thing. I watch as District One's carriage is pulled out, ours quickly follows, being only Four. The crowd goes crazy as they scream for me. I put my arm around Nicky and smile friendly. I know she wants to push me off. My face is on all the screens. I smile happily and wave. Then something comes over me. I begin to flex the muscles in my arms and make provocative poses and gestures for the ladies. This drives them insane. I look behind me. Glares. And eyes full of fear as well. I look back at their costumes, District 11 of course, dressed like farmers in glitzy colors, and poor 12 dressed naked like us, only decorated in an ugly black coal and not gold. I turn back around and keep the crowd occupied as President Snow says somethings. I ignore him and look to the people – to my sponsors. And then the partying begins.

"Wake up!" I feel Thomps pushing me out of bed, I start to roll and thud on the ground. He picks me up and gives me a cup of coffee and some sugar cubes. I only eat the sugar. Nicky comes over already dressed.

"You're lucky. They let you sleep in, after the party, I'm not surprised you're a lightweight!" She sits next to me. "We get to meet the others today. I know it's hard to hate you after knowing who you really are, but I hate you. And so do they. You're just good at being good for the Capitol. You've done everything right. And what have I done?"

"You're a good person." Nicky turns into the girl from the beach. Feeling down on herself. I try to console her.

"No. Just stop Finnick. I am going to die in this. Just win for the sake of Four okay. I already told Mags that I know the sponsors are just for you. You can have mine, if I have any, too."

"You shouldn't talk like that. You're a pretty girl, and you're funny." I smile at her. Her face shoots me back a sign of horror.

"That's just it Finnick! I want to hate you but I can't. I can't. You're so nice, the gold last night, that's what you are. Gold on the outside, and gold on the inside." She laughs a little and it's unsettling. "Don't go dieing now."

"It's time people! Finnick get your clothes on, I don't think you'll want to show off nakedly for the Game Makers." Thomps points to the pile of clothes I've ignored as I sit in my bed with nothing on. But the only thing I registered was Game Maskers. The ones who make this hell. I scold my head for thinking like that. I look at Mags on the couch. She seems to remind me about the survival skills. We head downstairs. Instantly I can tell we are one of the last pairs.

Thomps shoots me a look, like the real Games are all of us trying to get to the training area first. I just mumble sorry, as we're all gathered together and told about the rules in this area. I see it, I see the trident, but I don't immediately go there. I head to fire making. Fire and water – not exactly friends. I struggle a bit trying to get it started. Maybe I should pray for matches to be sent to me. But then it lights.

"Finally!" I scream out. The entire practice area looks at me and my pitiful fire and laugh. The trainer smiles at me, she's nice. Her hair in a ponytail ten inches higher then it should be. I move on.

There's fishing, I laugh at that one. Then there's hunting and traps. I spend some time there. Learning the very basics. I notice Nicky has been at the knives station the whole day. She's very good at the close contact, at least it takes some of the eyes off of me. I watch as the boy from 1 throws his sword harder and harder at the trainer every time Nicky makes a kill. He is a career. Someone trained for the Hunger Games. Usually 1, 2, and 4 get these titles. Not me, but I do notice how much more strength and usable skills Nicky and I have then the non-career districts. Sometimes people in our district are asked to form an alliance – but I shouldn't get my hopes up.

I get the hold of setting up traps. Then I move onto berries. I remember last year's Hunger Games, the boys my size have trouble when there's a lack of food. We clearly need more food then the others. The one who everyone thought would win was massive, but he ate everything in sight. He didn't deal too well with starving, not like the district tributes who have less food do. They're already used to being empty. Regardless, as he was purging everything in site into his stomach he ate some berries that caused his eyes to pop out and he toppled over, making the games much easy for the remaining players. Dying from a berry is not the way I wish to go – as far as I know, everything the Game Makers put in that arena is a trap. Food included. I picture Mags nodding at my thought. I pick up some berries and see the trainer shake his head at me but he's not the one who opens his mouth.

"Are you an idiot? Well, that was actually a dumb question. People like you usually are." There she was, a career. Sizing me up. "That's obviously poisonous, you'll have purple skin before you realize you can't breathe!" She sighs and gives me another look through. I look at her, she seems strong and sturdy. I think she's from district 2, which would mean she may have worked with lots of stones. Interesting, that might be why they're typically the strongest with all that lifting they do. Her bleached blond hair is wrapped tightly into a cocoon on her head, I wonder if she had left it there from the day before. Maybe she thought the prep team was on to something. She looks at me studying her and returns the curious gaze I've given her, "I have a proposition for you. You're strong. You, and your district partner join up with 1 and 2?" It was almost tradition, 1,2, and 4 are almost always together when it's a good year. I am about to respond when I see a young boy about to drop a trident on himself. I pick myself up and run to him. I catch it in his hands before he throws.

"You need a smaller one." I point to the rack. He has yellow skin, almost like he's dying already. I lead him to the rack and measure him up. Finally I find the right one. "Here, try this one." He picks it up with more ease. The trainer moves closer, so does the group of careers. I pick up one my size and show him where to hold it. I have to fix his hands multiple times.

"Alright lift it up." I walk him through all the steps. Then I extend my arm back and throw it while exerting the strength in my wrist so the spokes of the trident go right through the eyes of the manican poking out through the back of its head – completely decapitating it. The little boy tries to copy but misses by a few meters. I go to fetch his and mine, asking him to come over. The room is quiet, even the Gamer Makers have stopped talking. I show him where to hold the manican to pull out the weapon. He does this on mine and I keep practicing with him until his sweat drips far into his eyes making it hard for him to see.

"Hey, I can teach you how to light your fire better!" He speaks up enthusiastically knowing he's had enough trident throwing. As he teaches me the secrets of the wood I learn he is from District 7 – the lumber district. He also tells me what is smoky and what isn't, not that that helps me, all the trees and lumber look the same to me. He sees my confusion.

"I know, and all the tridents look the same to me," he smiles. I look down at this small boy standing before me.

"You're alright kid, how old are you?"

"Twelve." He looks at his feet. "I know I'm going to die. You're a good guy though. You'll have lots of people looking out for you."

I push down the ball in my throat. I grab his shoulder and get down to his level, it's weird being the tallest in the room. "You and me, why don't we go through this together. I can keep you safe, you can keep me safe." I laugh at his big smile. "You'll be my little brother."

"Little brother that will have to die." Nicky is behind me. I look at her. She looks at me. "Finnick, that's not a good alliance, join us. We careers are good together."

"But we're not careers though." I respond. She grunts.

"I forgot you were the noble supermodel. Fine then. Have fun dying Finnick." And with that she leaves. A coldness has overcome her, we're only one day into this mess and already she's a different girl. Grant, the little boy's name, looks up at me.

I hold his shoulder, "The Capitol will love the brothers, the sea and the woods... we'll be set!" I reassure him.

An announcement explains we are to wait in the dining hall while individual assessments begin. AKA the trainer scores. It goes by our numbers. One, Two, Three, and then me. I've already waited two hours and I look over to Nicky. She looks at me. We sit like that for a while, just staring at each other.

"I'll join you and the careers."

Her eyes light up. But there seems to be suspicion. "On what account? That we don't kill that little boy and tote him around like a prop?"

"Exactly." She laughs that weird laugh again.

"Finnick, he's going to die... look at him."

"That doesn't mean it can't be from natural causes. If you want my sponsors and my strength you agree not to kill that boy." She looks at me, processing every word.

"Deal."

I sigh with relief, but it is immediately gone as they call my name back into the training arena. I keep breathing deep breaths to calm myself.

I head into the room. It's filled with laughter and talking, until they see me. I am filled with a sense of stage fright. They are waiting for me to begin. I don't automatically go to the trident. I go to the survival areas and pick up some rope and quickly make a net. I show them, they seem unimpressed. Bored even.

I grab the trident I threw earlier with Grant. I hold the net firmly in my hand. I step back to the shooting area. I let the moving manicans move side to side at the fastest levels. I throw the net, catching them in their movements causing them to freeze and struggle. Much, to my delight, like real humans. I grip the trident, feeling it's sharp spokes. And then, I throw the trident with the same amount of force as before. I am standing further away from the target from earlier in training. However, I still hit my target with exact accuracy.

I run with all my speed to retrieve the weapon and to my surprise find myself fileting the manican. The stuffing flows out as if blood. I step back retrieving my trident and stand before the Game Makers, smiling happily. I have shown them my accuracy, my speed, my resourcefulness, and my strength. I look into their eyes with a happy satisfaction.

"Thank you Finnick Odair."

I leave smiling. I don't get to hear how Nicky did. Instead I am immediately aroused out of sleep again but this time to a smiling Mags. Something about being here makes me so tired. I am always taking naps.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hunger Games = not mine... sadly. )**

* * *

We meet together at the couch. A large TV is sitting before us. Here are our scores. District One and Two, all four tributes have eights – not a bad score. District 3 like always has sixes and sevens. Then it's us. They show Nicky with a seven, she cheers happily for herself. I smile for her and applaud with Mags. It's not bad for her, a day ago she wasn't even sure how to kill someone. I wait for the moment that I'm sure everyone has been waiting for. Not just me, probably all the other tributes, the entire Capitol, and all of District Four. They show my face, talking and giving pointless banter, asking if the God of the Sea can live up to his name. And then they show it. An eleven appears. An eleven! Everyone cheers and I stand up screaming with them. I am thrilled, this secures my sponsors, or so I assume. Nicky sits there, in shock.

I keep watching the screen, District seven shows and there is Grant. With a six. I think that is not bad for such a small ailing kid. I wonder what he did to get that score?

Before I even know it a day passes and Nicky and I are sitting waiting for our interviews to begin with Ceaser. We're just talking with the host tonight so all of Panem can see us and assess us. So we can make a sad story for sympathy or intimidate the other tributes.

Nicky looks at me, she begins in such a quiet wisper, "I talked to the other careers. Our deal is only good until the top six, if we're all still there, it's off. Our plan is to run straight into the Cornucopia and take the weapons, kill the suckers who come towards us, and camp out for a while until it's time to hunt."

I look into her eyes, trying to tell if I can really trust her. Will Grant really be safe?

"We'll need food, you heard the girl from two. She's calculated the odds and thinks there may be a lack of water and meat in the Cornucopia this year." It was true, the girl – they call her Hale, is incredibly smart. She's calculated the odds of the last Four Hunger Games and has been correct in almost all accounts... almost. You never know what the Game Makers will throw at you. My main point isn't really about the lack of food and water. It's more about making sure Grant isn't there in the main bloodshed. Nicky looks at me. Trying to read the thoughts that I have clouded in my mind.

"Alright, you run with Grant, us five will kill the easy pickings, you get us water. Finnick I know you can tell time with the sun. If you aren't back by seven the first night the deal is off for good." She refuses to blink as she delivers the next line. "And you will become our number one target." I don't let this phase me. I am more relieved that I have secured a good position for Grant and I.

For the first time I look at the TV back stage with the live feed of the interviews.

I missed the first two of my new alliance members – the other careers. I seem to remember them from the dining hall though, cocky and all about looks. They seemed jealous of my look. Their district is loved by the Capitol since they produce the shiny accessories they adorn themselves with. The boy's name is Daz and the girl's was Opal. They both seem to be the same in skill sets, good with a spear, strong, not too much there. Easy to double cross if it came to it.

Hale is on right now. That bleach blond hair up in the weird knot that she seems to love. She talks about all the poisons she loves to play with. So she's smart and dangerous. I make a mental note not to eat anything prepared by her.

The boy from her district goes on, his name is Ox, which makes sense. He's around my size, worthy of the name from the animal. He seems like the kind who loves a fight. But he's not very bright. It would be easy to trick him and then get him in a net. Even a shark comes down with right rope.

Then they introduce Jen, a pretty girl from three, she talks about how she is more smart then strong, she almost has a twinge of hopelessness in her voice. But she seems harmless... most of these tributes seem harmless to me. Which seems sad in my mind. If they were all cocky and strong competitors I think it would be much easier to flick a knife at them. But most of these kids are just that – kids. I look at the screen.

They call Nicky up. Ceaser introduces her with a smile. He must be older then Mags, I think he was there for HER interview, but he is kept young with whatever special medicine the Capitol can make to reverse aging. I watch her interview intently, already the scared 16 year old of the train has been replaced by a killing and angry girl.

"And what do you think about your district partner?" Ceaser asks in a comical way. "Was he as dreamy as they say in the District." The crowd laughs as Ceaser plays up his faces.

Her eyes narrow, "Isn't this interview supposed to be about me?" Ceaser is taken aback by her directness.

"Well, you can't blame us for asking! He certainty caused quite a... splash! In the opening ceremonies!" The crowd bursts with laughter. Nicky rolls her eyes. I can't tell what she's playing for? She's already lost likable. Is she trying for arrogant or mystery? To me, she just seems annoying.

"Are there troubles with you two? He didn't break your heart did he?" He is egging her on, to say something about a fight or the alliance. He tries to make all of us look good.

I see her eyes twinge, she is going to play with the audience. "Oh Ceaser. Of course, Finn was always a popular little puppy back in the town. All the girls loved him. But he does go around breaking hearts. It's sad. I hope a heartbroken girl doesn't go crazy and kill him in the arena!" The last sentence is said maliciously as Nicky tries to become that 'heartbroken girl.'

"I like your spunk girlie." Ceaser giggles. "I guess we will all see!"

The crowd claps for her. Still trying to make her out into something. She didn't play it well. I will have to do better. As soon as I hear my name, I hear them all going crazy.

I step up onto the stage. I am wearing a very revealing button down shirt, with little shells hanging from my ears, and slick black pants. They love it. Ceaser is wearing his hair, the most dominant feature on his plastic body, as a mixture of green and blue – there's that style again. He directs me to a chair by him.

"Well, I just thought the king of the sea came in here and washed me away! How are you doing Finnick?" His mouth is smiling with bleach white teeth.

I look at the millions of faces in front of me. Be their lover Finnick, it's all I say to myself.

"Doing?" I smile in a cocky way. "Come on Ceaser. You're a man, you know what it's like. Such pretty ladies here – I am in heaven!" The crowd swoons.

"Well, well. You are quite the sexy man now aren't you? Don't go toying with all our hearts now!" Yea, that's not what I will do at all. I think of what I will say next. To get them in a love trance. "What about, some questions? Are you aware that your District Partner, Nicky, seems heartbroken over you?"

I think seriously for a few moments, pondering. "I've never seen her before... well, until now. She's a nice girl. It's rough on everyone I think, these Games. She certainly has an extra drive to kill people though. So that's a good thing for District Four!"

"But you think you're going to win right?"

"Of course."

"You know, the question on everyone's mind, do you have a girl waiting out by the sea back home? Hoping her little fisherman will come home?"

I think of the girl on the beach, she was just a friend. Grandma C, just a mother. Sedna. Sedna, my baby sister. I think she does need me. My parents are messes, she needs someone stable, and who knows how much longer Grandma C has on this Earth.

"I do." The crowd cries, thinking I am no longer a bachelor. "But, no, a different type of love. I have to win these games, so I can go back home and be there for my baby sister."

Ceaser holds his chest as if holding back tears, "Such a noble young man. Oh, we are all rooting for you Finnick!" The crowd jolts back to life with cheers.

"I've never actually had a girlfriend before at all. But I am a very," I hold the word on my tongue and look into the audiences' eyes and purr the rest of my sentence, "convincing man." I say it almost like a suggestive whisper. They are screaming and crying tears of joy.

"Finnick, unfortunately our time is up. If I could pay to have you for the whole night I would, but a man like you needs his beauty sleep. Best of luck Finnick Odair!" The crowd is chanting my name, begging me not to leave the stage. I give them a wave, and decide to flex my arms which puts them over the edge. I find a camera, look right into it and blow it a kiss. Then I walk off.

I watch Grant's interview, it was quick and quiet. I think he just wants to slip off before being noticed. But we all learn he is really sick. Probably not good for him to mention this. I grab him when he comes off the stage, this is the last night before the games begin.

"Listen to me," his face seems scared and I lighten my grip a bit. "When you are placed in that arena, don't move – last year a girl stepped off before zero and was blown up, that can't happen. Wait on your pedestal and I will run to you and we'll head off in search of food, we're teamed up with districts One and Two right now. It'll work, no one will noticed you if you just stand there, they'll all run to the Cornucopia – we're going to get out of there." I look at him trying to make a mental note. "Got it?" I ask for reassurance.

"You got us in with the careers? What did you have to do to get them to say yes?"

"Doesn't matter, do you understand?" He nods and I tousle his hair.

Mags comes to me after the interviews. Thomps is sad this is our last meeting, he's really grown with Nicky – less so with me. Thomps does mention over and over, how sexy I was, and how I should keep it up. Mags nods, and I know what I have to do. I notice Nicky didn't touch any of her food tonight.

And before I know it I am taken off the feather mattress in the Capitol and placed with my prep team again. But we just sit there. There's nothing that's needed with me. I start small talk, what they think the arena will be, who seems the strongest, etc. They don't know anything of huge importance. And before I know it they're crying as they hug me and I go away. Noqall comes up to me and shows me an outfit that looks like something a king underwater should wear.

"I am saving it for you. For when you come back." She winks at me.

I wave as the pod lifts me up.


	6. Chapter 6

**Finnick's games begin! **

**Hunger Games do not belong to me...**

* * *

It's cold and windy. The sun shines in my eyes, and I see it. The arena. There's lots of large mountains, heavily wooded. I look for a beach or a sign of relief but find none. It is a deciduous arena, something I have never seen before. But then I see it. A familiar mark, the golden Cornucopia. I know it by heart, you can see the weapons of destruction deep inside it. The strongest weapons will be there, but that's what they want – you're supposed to run in and try to grab something, but that's where the others in my alliance will be, taking the easy kills.

I look for Grant and lock on him. But then I see it. A trident. I know I can end this entire game today if I had it – I wouldn't even have to be in this silly alliance. I try to shake myself but there it is. I have to force myself on Grant. He's north of me and to my right. But there's the trident... I hear the numbers pound my head, ten, nine, eight, seven... I see Nicky staring at me along with the other careers. I have to remember the plan. Three, two , one. And then hell breaks loose.

I run, the fastest I ever had in my life. I grab little things on my way. I manage a rope and a knife. None of those take extra time and I don't slow down by Grant either I pull him up on my shoulder and run. We head into the woods, towards the mountain. I run, unfortunately it's uphill, but I keep my pace.

I hear Grant crying. "What's wrong?" He sniffles to calm himself, I can't afford to slow down. "Is anyone following us?"

"No, but there's lots of bodies. Someone almost got me before you came." He starts wailing.

"Grant... please quiet down. Was it a career?"

"No." Good, the alliance is still on.

"Alright, keep an eye out for water. This is your territory, not mine."

I can feel his nod. Then I remember, Mags. She's going to be watching. She'll make sure we're safe – for a while at least. After 3 hours I slow my pace. We're almost at the peak of the mountain. A spot where I can memorize the map. As soon as I sit down I hear the cannons and begin to count. One, two, six, eight, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen. And then its silent. Fourteen dead. That's a big number. That leaves ten of us. I am glad I got Grant out of there. Looking at the sun, I have four hours to get our water and head back before the deal is called off. There's something about that number though, knowing two of the ten are me and Grant and all bets are off at six.

I can almost see the Game Makers peeing themselves with everything that's at stake right now. We're at the peak and I can see a river not far from my right, it looks deep though, and I see the area where it connects into a small lake by the Cornucopia, practically giving our alliance everything we need. The Careers, there are the two from One, the two from Two and Nicky – I know that for sure. But whether one of them died I don't. Five careers, Grant and I, and three others. Not an easy fight. I feel like we'll be breaking off from our alliance before we know it.

For the first time I am struck with the beauty of the area. I've never seen anything like it before. The air is different it's cold and is missing the stickiness of salt. Grant seems to love it.

"My house back in Seven is in a place like this." I notice his yellow skin looks worse then before. "I am sick... I know, but being in the hospital doesn't excuse you from a reaping. I should be dead right now. But I promised myself I wanted to help you, I want to make you the victor. We should go and give the others the information about the map. Make something up if we can, falling rocks, rabid animals, anything." He begins to get up, but looks like he will puke. I put my hand on him to support him but he pushes me off, "I'm fine, we can't waste time. Come on." He starts leading to the lake, slipping on the rocky terrain. I stop him. He looks at my rope, it never left my hand.

"That's good for you. I saw those knots you can make." I laugh quietly. I know. I know exactly what he means.

"We have time, we should look for protection in this area in case we need to run."

"Protection from the others or the elements?"

"Both."

We scale down the mountain. To my surprise it's much harder to get down then go up, but I assume adrenaline was what pushed me before. I keep studying my mental note of the arena.

Mountains encase it in a circle. They've used designs similar to this, a small, but deep river encircles the mountains and meets up by the Cornucopia, it's not a very large area though. The sun is scorching.

"Damn, I wish I had some sun glasses." I feel the sweat dripping from my brow as I push my hair back. I hear a chink noise on the ground behind us. A parachute.

"Woah! We're not even five hours into the games yet!" Grant is staring in shock. I look at it. I nudge to Grant. Why shouldn't he get to open a few presents before the worst happens?

He happily rips it open and finds sunglasses inside. I just laugh. Grant looks at me with such admiration.

"I can't believe that. Finnick Odair opens his mouth and the Capitol just abides. Incredible." He smiles.

"You want to wear them little bro?" I ask him holding them out. He shakes his head. They're my present, not his, he says.

Then I hear a familiar sound. Raging water. I run at top speed and find it. Water. I sink to my knees in the muddiness. And splash it on my face.

Grant gives me this weirded out face, "Well, I guess we know what District Four appreciates most." He laughs though as he touches the water and lets it flow through his fingers.

I look over across the river to what seems like a dam, "Hey, Grant." I point to the tall swaying grass and he looks at them. "What are those."

"Cat tails. They're pretty long and sturdy." I smile. Perfect. I swim with perfect accession across the rapids. It feels weird getting used to the water not stinging your eye. And it's odd to say that I miss it. I can only picture myself on camera, which I shouldn't have to do since I know I will be on it. My shirt soaked to form my bulging muscles, the tiny amount of dirt showing my manliness, and the sunglasses. All of these combine to form the image of a bad ass pretty boy... the words don't sting coming from my mouth – knowing that because of this I have an extra edge. I grab the cat tails and immediately begin weaving them into a basket when I notice Grant just staring at me from across the river.

"I can't swim." He shouts out over the water. I finish the basket and head back over to him, putting him on my shoulders and deciding to wade through the water this time. It splashes my body hard, and I feel something poking the bottom of my feet like sharp glass.

When we get out of the cool water Grant looks at my feet.

"They put glass in there didn't they?" I roll my eyes at the Game Maker's little trick. Cute. Then I watch Grant take another look and turn around and throw up. "Grant! Are you okay?" At first I think it's because he's sick, but upon further investigation I notice the hideous creatures eating away at my feet. I want to scream out. I take the knife and try scraping them off, only to have Grant grab my hand and stop me from fileting my feet.

"Calm down Finnick!" I try to slow my breathing. There are these plump little slugs, the kinds that sometimes stick to boats, sucking on my toes. Except they're not sucking, they're biting. Then I notice one falls off without me touching it. Leaving a large purple welt on the bottom of my foot. I try to stand up, maybe I can pop it, the welt feels heavy with pus. I put some weight on my foot only to find it in excruciating pain. My foot starts twitching and I am forced to sit down again.

"Does it hurt?" Grant asks, horrified by the slugs' large teeth pushing their weird venom into my feet.

"Yes it hurts!" I snap. Grant steps back. I immediately regret talking to him like that. "I'm sorry, this isn't the easy thing to be dealing with." Grant looks at the slugs as they slink back to the water leaving my feet oozing with purple pus. I know I can't walk on these. Grant seems to pace a bit. Then without saying a word, only giving me direct eye contact he takes the knife and slices open my shirt. Letting it graze on some of the top of my skin, in a way the cameras can't see, but makes me look more injured then before. He lets my abs air out. I try to make grimaces while holding my sexy stature. I caught on to what he was doing. Playing me up for the cameras. And it works.

I watch the little silver parachute fly down into my lap.

Grant smiles, "You will want for nothing." He opens it for me and pulls out a pair of tweezers, bandages and a tube of some paste. His eyes light up at the sight of so many things. "And they certainly weren't frugal with sending you the supplies."

He inspects my feet, poking here and there, certain movements make my yell out others I just cringe. He figures out what I knew as soon as I saw the tweezers. He pinches them together and then squeezes the smallest purple blister together as a pinkish pus oozes out. He goes over to the bushes to throw up again. I refuse to look, but I can feel every little bit of it. My feet ache in pain.

"You can stop when you need to." I pipe up. He walks back over.

"You saved my life. You have these on your feet because of me. I am going to help you Finnick." It's nice to hear, but I was hoping we would take, I don't know, a five hour break in between each one. If I am in excruciating pain already – what can come next?

He digs around the hole with the tweezers left by the bump and finds the source of my pain. A long sharp tooth from the weird slugs.

"How many bumps are there?" He counts. 12. I want to bang my head on the tree. I can't do that. "Oh god, I just whisper it with my head on the tree. Another parachute flies down. I look confused. I already have the medicine, what could this be? Grant takes a break from working on the third one to open it. A small jar of pills. Painkillers. I take 3, I am a big guy, but who knows how strong those are. I feel instantly better. Grant gets to the last one just as the sun has began thinking about setting. He rubs the creamy white medicine in a massaging motion and wraps the bandages around it.

I stand up, expecting to shout in pain, but I only find my feet almost how they were. Grant explains how I should act more hurt then I am when we begin to approach the Cornucopia again. The blood stained grass makes me queasy. I had almost forgotten about the water – our real mission when Grant brings it up form the rear. I was pretty intent on just making it back on time I'm glad he remembered.

I am greeted by four very relaxed Careers. Ox, Nicky, Opal, and Hale. I guess the District One male was killed in battle – I assume this from Opal's wet eyes.

"Look who showed up." This is my first time having an encounter with Ox. I nod to him, Grant brings up the water. "What's with your feet fish boy?" I look at my bandages.

I just sit down and draw the map from the best of my memory. I point with a stick, "here, this part of the river has large shards of glass that you should not step on!" I say this in a louder unsatisfied voice. And look at Ox smile. Grant's stomach begins to growl.

"Did you find fish?" I look at him. I had forgotten that. I tell him the rivers seem empty, and I was stumbling so much in the woods I am sure I scared anything else off. I take off my sweaty and ripped shirt, much to Hale's amusement.

She giggles, "Looking good there Finny." I give her a cheeky grin. Nicky steps between us. "Good job with the water. You can pile your supplies over there, she points to where all the weapons are."

My eyes search hopefully for the trident.

"It's not there Finnick, a seventeen year old tank came in and took it, we got him down and killed him, but the hovercraft took it away with him." I look in her eyes. I feel like she is lying, but why lie if I am on her side right now. "Alright, plan for tomorrow. We sleep now, and go hunting for the rest tomorrow." I wonder who declared her leader.

I decide to add nothing to the pile until Nicky brings it up again. I show her what I have, medicine, a knife, the rope, tweezers, sun glasses, painkillers... not things you typically pick up on the outer ring of the Cornucopia.

"Picked 'em off a dead tribute." Grant peeps out from eating his apple. I look at Ox, wiping his sword down with some bloody shirt, three times too small for him – he keeps a keen eye on me. I lay on the ground.

I feel cold. Grant comes over and lays by me too. I lay on that cold ground and that feeling that comes every night I am not on a rocking boat overcomes me. I feel like I am ship-wrecked. There are no waves. It just turns to sand... and the sand begins to choke me. I wake up.

My eyes dart around but only find the crackling fire. I stand up and walk around the front of the Cornucopia. The air is freezing, now I wish I had that shirt again. I hear the anthem play and look to the sky as the stars disappear. They show the faces of the dead. Fourteen of them. Nine more to go. It fades, with every child's face is their district number. The first and last days are always the bloodiest. I look at my stars, but they're all in weird positions and I know the Game Makers are only projecting them out there. They're not real. A cold gust of wind rolls by, blistering my skin in the cold.

I make a seductive shivering pose and down it falls. My sleeping bag. Not just a regular one, this one traps my body heat inside, making it extra warm. I give my wink to the camera and make my way back inside.

I try to hide it under my body, even though this is pointless. The others are looking at the bag with lust. I pretend that my feet are hurting and attempt to limp back to Grant. I quietly lay back down, encasing him and me in the cocoon of warmth.

At, what has to be around midnight, I hear the whispering. It's very soft, but after years of trying to hear commands on a boat in danger of toppling into the ocean in the rage of a storm, it's not too hard for me to make out whispering people in the stillness of the night.

"Kill him now Ox." A girl's voice, Opal or Hale – not Nicky's.

"And the kid?" He grunts, not nearly attempting to be as quiet as the girl.

"Of course, he'll die on his own. Look at Mr. Sea Captain over there. How many gifts has he already gotten?"

"Might make sense to keep him around if he's been so blessed." It's Nicky. She's sticking up for me. In a weird way though. "He can get us anything we want."

I can feel the cold stares she's receiving, I pretend to continue to sleep. Grant is keen on these things and hasn't even awoken, they're very quiet and hard to make out. The next morning I know what to do.


	7. Chapter 7

**Bit of a long chapter - but it's the GAMES! Disclaimer: Hunger Games and Finnick are not mine.**

* * *

I wake around five, missing out on sleep during the night so I could wake at this exact moment. I shake Grant and cover his mouth giving him some very convincing eyes. He nods. I throw him on my shoulder and step over Ox, then Hale, then Opal... I slowly begin to move over Nicky when she grabs my ankle – right where a slug had got it. In it's sore and tender state I want to scream. She just looks at me.

Then she lets go. I quickly take off from there. I hadn't even thought about taking some of their supplies, but guess who did. The little boy on my shoulder chewing away at a bag of rabbit legs and apples. I pat his back, I hope he leaves some for me. The woods are remarkable at dawn. The air, no salt. Just a refreshing feeling that makes you feel alive. I hear my lady call to me.

We're close to the water.

I look at Grant and he looks at me. He hops down.

"You know they'll be after us." I nod, looking off into the distance where we had come.

"Well, Should we cross it? I can fish from here fine. This way we have the trees." He looks at me in disbelief. "What?" I laugh. "You don't think I could get up in a tree?" They're heavy woods, it doesn't matter to me though, I just want to stay by the water. I feel lucky that it encases the arena. I watch Grant ponder this.

"It's smarter for us to stay here." He looks at the water and feels a few rocks. One has a red mark I hadn't noticed. "I marked it earlier when we came down from the mountain peak, there is a waterfall nearby. I saw traces of it over this way. If we go to the cave behind it, the water will hide the smoke from a fire." I watch him try and figure out what is the best thing to do while I unintentionally start knotting our rope. It's a weird habit I have when things encompass my mind. "Finnick!" He yells after ten minutes. I look up from the rope, ensnared with millions of complicated knots turning it into a net.

"What?" I look down feeling he is upset I knotted our rope, "I know how to remove them." He looks down at the rope confused.

"No, that's fine, I know which way to go." He points to the tallest mountain, about two miles to our left. The waterfall is supposedly over there. He feels determined to walk right on the bank between the slugs. I look at his face though. I know it will be hard for him to walk two miles.

"Should I carry you?" I offer. He seems to refuse at first but then nods. I lift him up and have him on my back to keep an eye out as I jog on the edge of the water, so no foot prints are left, or at the very least are washed away into the mud.

"How are your feet?" He asks. I just laugh. Honestly they're fine now, but I want to milk my never-ending strength a bit more for the camera. It takes us almost the entire day in my condition and while trying not to slip into the water, and now darkness has encased the arena. I look at this 'waterfall'. I've never seen something like it before. It looks amazing. It splashes heavy buckets of water onto the rocks, creating a heavy mist. I let Grant step down and his face is beaming.

"Looks like a home to me, huh, little brother?" I smile as I give him a slap on the back. He laughs. "Good work!" His face blushes. I let the cold water splash me, I am covered in sweat and dirt already. Grant looks like how he did when we met. He was right though. There's a small cave behind the water that hides us really well. He gathers some sticks and sets them down in a circle, he also gathers leaves to keep us off the damp rocks when we sit down.

I go out and to my enjoyment find the tall grass I made a basket out of earlier and collect it. I see my friends, the fish, gathering at the mouth of the water fall. "You're mine" I whisper to them licking my lips. They open their mouths and close them making a little pop with their big fish lips, asking to be fed. I come back. Grant is out of breath after setting things up, it looks semi-homey in the cave. And the sound of the water reminds me of home.

My only reservations about the spot are extinguished as I see the fire when I come through the water wall. You can't see it from the other side. He sees what I am holding.

"I already made the beds with leaves." I look at the grass and laugh.

"This is for another basket, to get us some water, to make sure it's clean. Nice job with the fire little bro."

His smile gets really big. I quickly weave the basket and it holds the water really well, I put a thin rock between it and the fire, just so it doesn't catch. As we sit down to share an apple we hear the anthem and peak out from behind the water. I'm surprised we heard it, the water is so loud. I hadn't heard a cannon today, but there's one face up there. Grant's district partner. Like before, they don't show how the others died or who killed them, but our kill list does matter – more people will bet on you the more kills you have, but it's a disadvantage to show us who's tearing up the arena. So, I add it in my head again, four careers, us, and that leaves three others I don't know. I think about Nicky, but push her out of my thoughts, she's still alive.

I step into the water, pleased the stars are back, Grant looks at me confused as I strip down.

"Are you washing?" He asks. I give him a smile.

"Of course not, I'm fishing." I reach in the water wiggling my fingers so the fish come towards me where I can grab them. I make sure to make some provocative poses, knowing the cameras are watching me with no clothes are on. I know the female viewers will love it.

I collect three really red fish. I've never seen this type before but Grant says they're Salmon, popular with bears in the wild. Another creature I've never heard of. I remove the boiled water and clean the salmon. Grant's mouth is watering, the smell of fish is just like home. We fry them and then eat till our bellies are full.

"If only we had some bread to go with this meal!" I moan out suggestively. And there it is, the clink outside. Grant brings in the bread. Green and salty – it's from my district. I take my right pinky finger and wiggle it where I think a camera is, as thanks to my district.

"What is that?" Grant looks at me like I have the pox as I wiggle my pinky.

"It's how we say thanks in district four. You're eating our bread you know."

Grant sticks his tongue out, "I thought it tasted like fish!" We both laugh. But he makes the gesture anyway. We have the luxury of letting the fire going, no one knows we're here. He lays on the leaves, I watch him shivering. It's very cold in the cave, and damp even with the fire burning and sleeping bag.

I pull him close to my body for our warmth together. It's easy for me to fall asleep, so far the games have gone very well. I know the minute this thought crosses my mind I am wrong. Something will be thrown at me. But when I wake the next day I find everything ordinary. No intruders, no animals, our fire hasn't even burned us to death. Good night if you ask me.

The next day is uneventful. No cannons, no crazy unimaginable thing. I love it, but I know the Game Makers are trying to speed it up – something tells me they're itching to have me back in the Capitol as a victor. I wonder how often I've been on the screen, my guess is a lot. I try with all I can to give them some fleshy and erotic shots of my body. I've actually come to the point where I don't feel like wearing clothes anymore.

Even as a kid I hated clothes... I remember the day my mother tried to catch my naked rear end as I ran through the town with nothing but a kid's sized trident and my five year old eel flopping about. Good times I think in my head. The memory is broken by Grant coughing back inside the cave. I'm out fishing again and I keep listening. He's gotten worse.

I bring the catches in and fry them, gathering the bread that has landed outside our cave. I sit him up and feed him, his eyes are sunken in, his pupils are large, he's cold, and his lips are turning a watery blue. I know death is near for him. I look up, to nothing in particular. I just pray I can let this boy die peacefully in my arms. Sending a dying kid into battle is despicable.

"You want to eat Grant?" I ask, trying to sit him up. Upon my request he attempts to swallow the bits of fish and fails.

"Finnick you should eat it. Get your strength up. Please." I look in his eyes as he begins to cry. I grab his head and hold it close to my chest. I try to get him to calm down, knowing this is our last night together. Peacefully. Please, let him go peacefully.

A slosh of feet coming through the cave arouses me, I grab the knife still wet with fish guts as I await the intruder. I recognize her instantly. It's the girl from Three, the depressed one, Jen.

She almost screams as she sees me holding my knife until she sees Grant. She steps closer, she has nothing, not even a jacket. She has cuts and is bleeding like crazy from her abdomen. The cuts and gashes are random and spastic. No one trying to take their time, which makes me think it wasn't a Career that got to her. I look at her soaked red body and her frantic wet face. Great, so now there is a trail of blood leading to our cave. So much for this plan of staying here for a while. She looks at our water, I am still holding my knife as I try to stand up without waking Grant. His breathing has slowed. She walks closer.

"Help me." Tears fall from her eyes. She runs to me and her hands grab me. I could do it. Stab her right now. But I can't. I sit her down and give her some fish and a tiny bit of water. I look at her cuts. There's no point in bandaging her. She looks at me assessing her damage. Now I get to watch two children head into the afterlife.

"I know I am a mess. I didn't want to die alone though. Thank you for the fish. You are noble. Taking care of that boy. He doesn't have much time left either you know. I heard what sickness he has, he'll be dead soon too. You are the God of the Sea." Her voice chokes out into a large wail and I throw my hand over her mouth looking around.

I start to get annoyed, hearing her talk about Grant like that, and giving away our spot. I lie to myself that she's wrong – even though everyone in the world knows Grant will be dead tonight. I don't want to fully believe it though. Not yet.

"Why are you here? If I agree to let you die in peace what can you give me?" I stare into her eyes in the flicker of the fire. She holds it out to me, a tiny box of matches. She begins to weep. I let her. I even ponder pulling her close to me. But I don't know her, and I can't let any more emotions get involved.

"Which tribute did this to you?" I ask. I look at the spots that are cut, all pin pointed towards major organs and yet so spastic and messy. She looks at me.

"Not tributes. Large furry mountain creatures. They come down and eat fish, but if they see you, they'll eat you too. They're not like real animals, they're much more deadly – like an animal that was modified. By the Capitol or something." I wonder if they are like the bears that Grant had mentioned.

"How did you escape?"

"I managed not to get eaten by whatever is in that river, or get taken away by it. That's how. The creatures don't pass there." I take note of this. The girl leans over and coughs blood on the floor. "They love the blood." She coughs more. "They want you to be in pain. But your fire and food was warm, I outsmarted them. I am not very bad off thanks to you. Be the victor Tribute Number Four."

Her eyes stay glassed over and look at the fire. I know she's dead as I hear the cannon. A hovercraft will come to collect the body. I take the matches and throw her over my shoulder when I see a torch light up, it's coming towards the waterfall. I throw the body down, forgetting my original thought of being ceremonial. I run in and grab Grant. His little eyes waking up, just barely. I hear the swift motion of an arrow as it flies through the water wall. I grab our pack and my knife as I run out along the water. I hear their voices. The careers are here to get back at me for breaking the alliance.

They run after me. "We've found him!" They cheer. I can see Nicky's bronze skin through the flashlight. Then I hear a growl, that can come from no human being. It jumps out in front of me and grazes my arm as I jump back. I let out a terrified scream, one only a young man staring in the face of death can make. It misses my throat just barely. I continue running, as more of the creatures come after me, the careers begin to retreat as the large furry creatures pursue them as well. The creatures come from everywhere, from the ground, around corners, right where you're going to step to outrun them. I hear a female scream from one of the careers, and then a cannon. The menacing sounds of their gnawing on flesh sounds in my ears. I am at the bank of the raging river. I try to hold Grant steady as I step in. The careers are at my location as well.

I feel a large drop of blood on my forehead as it mixes in my eye. My eye is burning. Did they shoot me? Was I clawed? No, it was Grant. I pull him down and see his chest heaving with blood, how? Then I see the knife. Nicky is the only career with knives. She threw it. I pull the knife out and throw it at an oncoming fur creature. Letting it screech and fall to the ground as I pierced it's eye.

Grant heaves. "They're bears Finnick, but not normal, they're from the Game Makers. You can't cross the river with me." He coughs blood on my chest. "Leave me here and get to the other side. If the careers aren't at the Cornucopia right now, you can try to find the trident." This thought arouses me even though I know it's not here, it's gone from the game. I hold Grant close. This time between us seems like hours, when it's only seconds. I kiss his forehead and plug his mouth and nose. Letting the air leave his body. The easiest way from him to die. The bears, as he calls them, won't get him if they know he's dead for good. The cannon sounds.

I drop him and swim diagonally through the water. The current is stronger then ever. I make sure my feet never touch the bottom of the pool. But even so, I feel a bite on my ankle and then one on my arm. Large fish are now biting at my skin. Since mutant slugs with teeth weren't enough. I paddle faster trying to get out of the water. I step out and then feel a knife get pierce my shoulder. Nicky is smiling crazily from the unnatural moonlight. The Game Makers are fully aware all hell is about to break loose.

"Time to filet the Fish Boy!" She laughs with a crazed expression. I have no strong weapons against her. I don't even have a second to look at the dead boy I called a brother. I shed one long white tear for him. Knowing that it's not out of fear. I grab the knife in of my shoulder. I notice I have the knotted net of rope from earlier. There's no trident, but I rip the knife out of my shoulder as I cast the net upon her. In her frizzed and bloodlust state she thrashes around on the ground. Crying and laughing, having a spasm of death. I remember how incredible she looked, just three days ago.

I notice this must be her last knife. I only have one shot as well. I throw my arm back and release the knife. As quickly it leaves my hand it pierces her eye. She doubles back with blood. I scream an angry roar. For the innocent boy she just killed. For my brother. For what my life has become. The net entangles her as she tries to free herself. I pin her to the ground removing both knives. What do I do now? She's not dead, but it looks like she's crying blood. She begins coughing and I decide to end it. I watch the last two careers run away – one must have fallen to a bear. I notice the bears have retreated back to the mountain, not treading past the water.

"Just do it already Finnick. Be noble. Don't succumb to what I've become. Avenge the little boy." The words are almost incomprehensible with blood spurting out of her mouth but I oblige. I quickly stab where I think her heart is. The cannon fires. I know I don't have long... I take her to the water and mark her forehead in an up and down motion with the water – like a wave. It's what we do to the dead back home. And she's a part of my home, regardless if she tried to kill me. I remove her from the net and walk away. Limping. My leg has been bitten badly and my shoulder is bleeding like crazy.

I lean my back on a tree. I look to the spot where the little boy laid moments ago, thinking how he is now being sent back to his family. I see his life flash before my eyes, as if I am him. I have that power sometimes. I don't watch people all die all the time, but it's happened three times before. I see myself, no, I see Grant. Running through woods just like these, laughing with friends, all of that ceasing as a doctor tells him his time is short on this Earth, the struggle he exerted as he made his way to the stage after his name was called. Such a short life. Gone. Wasted.

"Goodbye Grant." I whisper. I hear the wind make a tune in my head. And then I see it. A parachute with a large box attached. Something that big. How much would that cost? I open it. Inside I am taken aback. My fingers brush the fine artistry. The curve, the radiant gold color. It's hand crafted three spokes. A trident. It is unheard of that tributes are sent weapons like these. With how quickly the other tributes have dropped it must have added up to be the largest sum of money these games have seen! I quickly clean my body and take the bandages off my feet, they were hardly soaked to begin with. I only have a few seconds to apply the medicine sent to me earlier and re-wrap the old bandages on these new wounds.

I rip off the remains of my clothing, as thanks to my sponsors and give them a wink.

These games end today. I almost smile at the thought of killing the remaining tributes. But fatigue comes over me. I sink down in the dirt. Letting air slowly calm my body, I was so worked up. I take the trident and hit one of the mutant fish. It is larger then my arm, with teeth bigger than my middle finger. I decide to fry it on a quickly made fire. The fire is small enough you can't see it, but amazingly the advice Grant gave me at the training area stuck. The fire hardly gives off smoke at all, I picked the correct wood. The fish tastes horrible, but I don't die, so it's not poisonous I pick myself up, but not before another cannon sounds.

I try to add it up, I try to figure out the people I will have to kill. I start wandering through the forest in my thoughts, my trident in kill position. Only two careers - Nicky and one of the others are now dead, Grant is gone, there's that girl from the cave, and the random shot from earlier, I guess someone that was killed by the coming careers. Five dead. Four left. Two careers, two others, and me.

A cannon blows. Make that three left to kill. It sounded like it was behind me, but that shouldn't matter, I decide to head for the Cornucopia, I am positive the remaining tributes will all gather there.

Something seems wrong. There aren't any forest creatures in this area... I feel the ground begin to shake, then I watch in horror as I am engulfed in blackness behind me. I run. The ground is falling, taking down the mountains, the river, it's only a leaving a black pit in its wake. I run, dodging the random cracks that ultimately connect to the large pit getting closer and closer to the backs of my feet. I keep running. Fear overcomes me, this is how one tribute already died. I will not die here, I will not die here, I repeat it to myself. Run, Finnick, run.

I am tired, and all of a sudden thirsty. I think of the water I had in the cave, I should have drank more. I can see a hinge of golden tail but am stopped with a large rock that comes out from a tree branch. I fall on my back, hoping the world will not collapse beneath me. I notice it has stopped. When did that happen? I look around, confused. The small arena now the size of my town square back home.

I rub the blood off my forehead. I can feel a large gash and a sweltering bump forming. There she is, Opal, she's cowering in fear in the tree above me. She screams, "Ox! Come back! Save me!" No one comes, and I don't hesitate. I throw the net tangling her as she screams in pain, but not for long. I pull the net back towards me. Look at my feet and throw the trident down. It pierces her skull, her eyes stare blankly at me. I take my net and trident and keep running leaving the decapitated body behind me. Not even looting it. A day ago the picture of this girl's disfigured body would destroy me. But not now. Now it is all I hunger for. The cannon sound fuels this.

"These games end today!" I yell at the top of my lungs. My breathing is heavy. The blood is flowing steadily. I can only hope they end it all soon so I can be taken care of.

I see a small movement in the bushes and throw my net without hesitation, a scream calls out and then is silenced by the stabs of my weapon. A boy my age lies tangled in my net as his body twitches. My accuracy was off and I only damaged his central nerves. I let him twitch as I retrieve my net. I kiss my trident and hold it above my head as I stab the boy a final time. He was a nobody. Most likely hiding in those bushes for the whole games. I just begin to realize what a catalyst Grant was for me. The cannon sounds. I run to the Cornucopia, knowing this is where the Capitol likes to end the games. I know only one enemy remains. I begin whipping my beautiful weapon, preparing it for his skull.

"Come out Ox! Let's finish this!" I yell, heaving like an animal. And then I see him. Charging at me with a long blue sword. I position my trident, but the sight of his mutilated arm snaps my thoughts. My mind goes blank. Or is it the head wound and obvious concussion I am suffering from?

A part of my mind lets the sword pierce my arm. His accuracy is off. But I can't stop looking at the spot where his arm should be. Blood drips from both of us. What a pitiful fight we both are. I start heading backwards, until I notice I am on the edge of the arena, the rest of it has collapsed into the pit below. Only the cornucopia remains.

"No water for you to hop in now." Ox laughs. His laugh is insane. Like mine from earlier. I know the people watching are glued to their seats. Ox stumbles a bit. I remove the net, heaving. If it doesn't end now, I am in bad danger of dying. I hold it in my hand like a spear. It moves above my head and I run, at full charge, yelling.

"You will suffer the wrath of Poseidon!" I yell, referring to myself. I pierce his abdomen and heart as the spokes poke out from his back, bits of flesh dangling on the ends like a fish. I continue to run. I run right into the golden Cornucopia. Sticking my trident into the shimmery material. The carcass of meat and flesh still hanging onto the spokes, but now lifeless. The cannon sounds and I lay back onto the grass. I just lay until I see the hovercraft come and scoop me up.

They throw me onto a bed as my breathing steadies. I open my eyes and close them again. How many days are passing? I feel large tubes connected to my leg and arm. My feet are wrapped in some odd shoes. I pull my hand up to my pounding head and feel the soggy gauze covering it. I hear a beep that beats in tune to my heart. My head is spinning. I feel ready to throw up. The taste in my mouth is sour and intoxicating. I stay still as my eyes forcibly close against my will.

I am left in my thoughts. Asking questions, asking what is real and what is fake. I have no answers, hardly even a recollection of the games. Who even am I?


	8. Chapter 8

**The price. Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

It isn't until an old lady comes and smiles in my face I am aware to full extent of what has happened. I am a mess, if that's even possible. I joke about it though. It's hard for me to laugh about certain scars. Images come to my mind. Horrifying ones. Things I hadn't seen in my berserk rage. The tears on the last career, the fear on the boy who was only my age. The hopeless expression in Ox's face. They haunt me. I turn restlessly until I feel that soft warm hand on me. Mags.

She steadies me. She helps my sore body move into my suit. The prep team cries, as if they hadn't stopped when we departed. They only cover a scar here and then I am done. I look in the mirror. I am apparently still the image of beauty and yet... and yet, I know how broken and hideous I look now. How those boys in the school saw me, how the other tributes saw me. How much I hate myself.

I feel a hug from behind. It's Thomps. He has tears in his rainbow colored eyes, his hair dusty brown like mine – I guess the trend is catching on. "The noble victor." He smiles. I question this now. Am I really noble? After everything I did to those people – those, children. I have to remind myself that I, myself, am only 14 years old. They will put my name down in books as one of the youngest victors, also as the one with the most expensive gifts ever received. It would have been the mystery of a lifetime if I was unable to win those games. It still hurts to walk, but I do so.

I am greeted by Ceaser on the stage. "I think we all knew this day would come," his over-dramatic voice booms. "Panem's most beloved victor, the God of the Sea!" The crowd erupts. I strangely begin to twitch and look behind me. Something in my mind begins to believe the ground is going to fall at any moment, and no water is there to catch me. I try to keep my stage face though. Smiling, acting cocky and sexual. The cameras are always on.

I sit there as President Snow starts to talk. The man I ignored the first day, places the Victor's crown on my head. It rests heavily on my head, perhaps I'm just figuratively speaking. Sure the crown is heavy, with the young bodies I've killed...

Ceaser sits me down and we watch the recap of the games. As if I want to relive the horrors I had experienced there, revisit all that pain. But I know I will always have this problem. I look towards Mags, hoping she will teach me how to naturally smile again. Putting on a face is child's play compared to the amount of mental damage I've experienced.

I listen and watch as the people of the Capitol cry as I grab my 'little brother', cheer as I stand naked in the stream, cry again as I silence the little boy, cheer as I kill Nicky, and cheer during my horrid killing rampage. I turn my head in disgust, but am forced to stand before the people. Ceaser holds my hands.

"The Victor of the 65th Hunger Games! Finnick Odair!" The crowd yells, they yell so loud I feel my ears popping. I hold them out of instinct, I assume they're bleeding. But Ceaser just takes my hands tighter, he must have experience with returning victors.

And it all goes so quick. I am on the train again. But it seems ugly to me now, in bad taste. On the way home Thomps tells me again and again how popular I am. How pleasured he is to get to work with the strongest and best victor they've ever seen. I turn to Mags and wonder if she's as annoyed by him as me, but she just smiles, and gives me a wink.

"Leave." She says as she smiles to him. He is taken aback but just thinks she wants to talk to me privately. I sit up. Then I stand and give her a hug. I begin to cry as I lean into her chest. Like she is Grandma C. The feeling overtakes me. I want to flood this Earth with my pain. Some part of my mind tells me I am no longer a child and therefore can cry no more. But she holds me, like any mento – I mean, mother, would.

"Please, Mags. Teach me how to laugh again." She nods and touches my forehead.

...

I put on a smile as the crowd of my District gathers at the station. Cheering for their new victor. I search the crowd for the girl from the beach, or Grandma C. I find neither. Just the smell of the salty air, and then it happens. The corners of my lip curve up a bit. Home. I am surprised to find the men of the village cheering as well. I suppose being a Victor has its perks now. But all the problems and troubles I had before the games seem meaningless now.

The crowd clears a path and I run to where my home is on the beach. I open the doors.

"Mom, dad?!" I yell. Not that they're people I am particularly fond of, but after being away from home for so long, you miss your parents – no matter who they are.

I find no one, but turn to find Grandma C behind me with Sedna in her arms. I embrace her and hold my sister as she explains the horrible news and I cry in her arms. Even though my parents were horrible people, I still feel a pang of sadness in my heart knowing they are gone. But she calms me enough to explain, it is not because of a drunken argument which I had earlier assumed. The two of them had been killed by men in white uniforms. The peacekeepers? I question this as I do all things. But before I know anything at all, the men in those very same white uniforms Grandma C has described come to collect me.

Peacekeepers are directing me to a new house in the Victor's Village, to my delight it is next door to Mags's. The house feels empty but I hold my baby sister as I find a far too familiar face inside. But it's not a good face.

It's President Snow. With an evil smile on his face. "Hello Mr. Odair." His eyes seem like that of a snake. Of course I've never seen one up close until now though. I guess the image of a slimy eel would suffice.

His arm motions me to sit down. I move over to the couch and continue to pat Sedna's back. I slump down into the green velvet couch – I could swear it's the same one from the train.

"Hello, President Snow." I watch him closely, unsure when he will strike. We sit still for a minute and then he begins.

"Your parents are dead." He waits for my reaction. But I don't give him any. "I thought you might be happy with that news. Nonetheless, I am showing you just a sliver of the power I have. I've watched you closely from day one Finnick – all of Panem has."

"What does that have to do with killing my parents? They're not the best human beings but there's also no point to killing them." He seems surprised with my retort.

"Finnick, the Capitol loves you. You've created a persona. Do you know how many phone calls I get a day? People asking if they can have you." What did that mean? People 'having me'. I narrow my eyes towards Snow. This man, every inch of my being wants to kill him, but the few parts of me that remain in control just irk to cower in fear. "Taking your parents was the only reasonable price you could pay."

"So, you just admitted to murder without giving them a trial!" Sweat is dripping down my neck and across my spine. I don't know anything about the 'court system' but I am pretty sure everyone is entitled to a trial to see if they are guilty or not. I suppose this isn't so in the districts though, at least where President Snow is concerned. I have to hand it to myself. I never thought I would handle this news so well. I have to keep talking to myself and keep myself going.

"Ha, my boy... It doesn't matter, no one will believe you. Back to our original point. Whenever you disobey the Capitol there are prices to pay." He stops as if registering my face again. "That's a pretty sister you have." This time, I give him a reaction.

"You wouldn't. No human being could kill a defenseless child ev-" I stop. Hadn't I done just that? Hadn't I killed children in the bushes just wishing they were home with their parents? I clutch Sedna closer, as if my grasp will keep her safe forever. I know it won't.

"All in good time Finnick. Unless, you follow what I ask of you. In the Capitol you are somewhat of a sex symbol you know."

I swallow hard, what did this mean? Any calm composure I displayed earlier is gone. He means for me to go through with those erotic gestures I made... or does he? After what he said about my sister I don't think there's any point in questioning how low he will stoop.

"After your victory tour to the districts you will travel back to the Capitol and be delivered to several high bidders." He looks at the confusion on my face. "You will do as these bidders wish. You will be their partner, kiss them, please them. There will be cameras and I will always be watching you Finnick, making sure I don't have to collect another person that is close to you and bring you closer to reason."

"I am fourteen." That's it, I am almost crying. I feel my eyes getting glassy and wet. He can't do something like that to me. But I bet it's not unheard of. And I have to keep my sister and Grandma C safe, they're all I have.

"That doesn't matter in the Capitol. Don't think about it. Put your pretty face on for the cameras, be promiscuous. Work, for that trident you earned. Maybe you can get some practice in at the districts?" He begins to stand up and leave. I don't follow him to the door. I just look at the bricks surrounding the fire place in my new house. "Are we at an understanding? I am sure we will meet again Finnick Odair." I nod, unconsciously. I am out of character. He makes his way to the door. People can hear him now. "Oh, and congratulations on winning the game – sometimes people say it never really ends though."

Right. Now that is certainly something to be proud of. I feel like running to Mags or Grandma C. Telling them everything that's wrong. I want to cry... but Sedna seems to be doing that for me. I know I can't tell anyone anything, I would just endanger them.

I make my way through the square, ignoring the unpacking that must be done in my new home. Everything hits me, the death of my parents, the fact I am becoming a celebrity prostitute, everyone I love being in danger. I want to topple over and die right now, they could say it was just a late effect of the Games. I find Grandma C's shoulder right away as she locks the doors and rubs my back.

"Finnick, we all watched what you saw in there. Look at me." I pull my head up. She looks at me, her dark green eyes mixing with red veins on the outlines of cornea. "Don't turn to anyone or anything besides your lady." I don't have a lady. And after what Snow said I can't have one, I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing what danger I might put her in. Grandma C smacks my forehead, not hard, but causing me to stumble backwards. I look into her face. She smiles and brushes my brown hair, I just noticed how long it had gotten. "The sea, your lady is the sea Finnick. She always has been, and she always will answer your questions."


	9. Chapter 9

**Hunger Games are not mine... Finnick is not either - though if he was... *evil chuckle*...**

* * *

I smile, just a bit, but enough. Grandma C hands me the trident. I take a fresh coil of rope. At a quick pace, practically jogging I get there. My mountain. And then I see her. Swimming beautifully. Like those stories I was told younger. She looks just like a mermaid. Everything about her, perfect. Her wet hair sticking to her shoulders. She smiles. Radiance, I smile too. I know what she is, I would never say it out loud. She is my lady.

I decide to just sit on the sand. Like the day we first met. Just watching her swim and create such an illusion of beauty. I see how far out she is. Beckoning for the dolphins to come. I love our spot. I watch as one of the dolphins waves his fin at her and hits her cheek. I laugh loudly and she turns suddenly and dives into the deep water.

Immediately I feel worried. I begin to think she will stay down there, like when we first met. But she comes back up and begs me to join her. I strip off my shirt and pants, I am wearing nothing but my underwear and I dive right in. After the games I have no shame about my body. If it's good enough to sell to the Capitol, it's good enough for me. She's gotten good. It's hard for me to catch up to her.

I laugh, I really do. I catch her and playfully pull her under the water with me. We let the fish join in and swim around us as well. We do this for what seems like hours, until the sun is departing from us. I grab her hand as we swim back to shore and flop tiredly on land. She keeps holding my hand.

"My name is Annie." Her voice, that soothing voice. She turns over onto her side. The sand sticks to her wet hair and skin. "And you're Finnick Odair, the victor of District Four." She smiles.

I turn over on my side as well, getting just as much sand on my wet body as her. In the same attitude she played with me I press my lips, "My name is indeed Finnick Odair. And you are Annie. The girl who never left my mind. But the girl I know so little about." Her smile creeps up her face again.

Then it disappears. I look into those green eyes. "Finnick, was it hard being in that arena? It was only a day after you won that they took your parents. I thought something had happened." I instinctively take her hand. I don't know what my mind's motives are, but it's clouding the reasons from me.

"Annie. I hope you never have to go those games. I hope your innocence is never washed away." I smooth the hair back from her face. We lie like that. For the next six months, this is how I spend my time. Ignoring the world around me, the world of hate and danger – only spending it with the mermaid. My lady sent her to me. The ocean gave me Annie. I can't tell her what I am dealing with, I can't find the words to describe it myself.

It feels like just yesterday was my homecoming, and now I am being whisked away again. Mags is knocking on my door. In the course of my six month departure from the world I've checked on her every two weeks. I talk about my feelings, knowing only a fellow victor can understand. She shakes her head as I bash the Capitol and their horrible ways.

"Secrets." It's the only word of advice she gives me. And it's the first time I can't interpret what she means. I board the train. I feel more alone then ever. I am so celebrated, and for the first time I am not a joke in my home, and yet I feel so ostracized. I feel so different from them all. More then I did to begin with. I know Thomps is watching me curiously as I clutch and pull my hair viciously on the train. Mags understands, I am just a lonely fifteen year old boy trying to get inside his head to find the answers.


	10. Chapter 10

**Time for a little comic relief - and Haymitch! Caution: a little racy... but honestly, I wrote this so long ago, it's nothing compared to some of the other stuff I write. xD Enjoy!**

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I am aroused by the gray, bland light that shines through the curtains of my car. I step out, barely showing any facial expressions. I am saving them for today – the cameras will be there. I have to remind the districts that it was me who killed their friends. I was the one who survived and killed their children. I step off the train. District Twelve. They start backwards and count down. They'll skip over Four and we'll have a big gala on the last day there. But then I know I am going to be shipped right back to the Capitol.

I look at the land of coal. It is nothing like Four. It is sad and gray. I think about it prospectively. They've only had one victor. They get the worst costumes too – that naked coal ensemble sticks out in my mind. What a drab life. I stand on their city hall, the mayor is hushing his little toddler. A pretty little girl in a pink frock. I look to the audience. I had almost forgotten the person I pretended to be. The lights are shinning. What do I say?

"Hello District Twelve. Thank you for inviting me here today." I look at the faces of the starving and depressing people. "I love seeing all these ladies!" I smile, showing my white teeth. No one is amused, they're like a horde of zombies. I look to my left and right, sweat dripping a bit. I laugh nervously. I see the families of the deceased to my right. I don't think I killed their kids. So that's good.

"Um, your children, will be missed. But it is all in good fun?" What the hell am I saying?! I smile and then slowly side step my way of the stage, I feel like disappearing. Hiding under a rock. Just kill me. Being in the games was worse then this. Facing these people. I make my way back into the city hall. The mayor just gives me this look. I give him a half-hearted smile. I try to be a little smug about it. There's a large dining table in the center of the hall.

The inside is not exquisite or fancy, but it's better then the life outside. I am surrounded by more people from the Capitol and feel a little more at ease. At least I know they buy my act. I see District Twelve's lone victor. Haymitch, that's his name – I was informed of it earlier. I sit by him on the table, watching his death grip on a bottle of whiskey. Thomps told me to ignore him, but there was something in his face. Something that might answer how he handled all the pain.

I give him my hand, "Hello! I am Finnick Odair District Four's 65th Hunger Games Victor! I am pleasured to meet you." He looks at me. He does it again. Then he grabs his whiskey and chugs the entire bottle.

"So you're the new sucker, huh?" Haymitch won the last quarter quell – every 25 years these are special Hunger Games called the Quarter Quells. This is when special rules are made, for example the first Quarter Quell the districts had to vote on who they would send. Could you imagine those kids? One hundred percent aware of the fact they were chosen by their friends for death. I much prefer the anonymous way.

Haymitch though, his year was rough. For the 50th Games, every district had to send double the tributes, so he had to knock off 47 other kids instead of just 23. I look at the ease and lack of satisfaction he gets from drinking the bottle of liquor.

"You're not so much a smooth talker when it comes to the hard things, huh?" He licks his lips, letting his brain absorb all the alcohol. I'm not surprised he noticed, I'm sure everyone did. I can pretend, but I'm still a novice when it comes to fulfilling my new 'actor' role.

I look consciously around the room, "How do you handle it?" I look at the bottles. I already know my answer, but some part of me wants it to be different. "How do you keep those you love safe?" I am positive, with all the thoughts running through my mind, that I am correct on this one – most victors get the speech I received from Snow. I can't be the only one.

He stares into my eyes. Taking in my entire persona. "I didn't. I couldn't. And now the beer numbs my pain, little by little, as I inch my way to my death – my relief." My heart sinks. Apparently this feeling is expressed on my face like I am about to throw up, because four attendants rush over to me and help me to the bathroom. I didn't have to puke, but looking at the toilet now, it doesn't seem like a bad idea. I rush over, clutching my stomach. I heave as everything comes out of my mouth. All my secrets. I try to brush my hair back but it falls back into my eyes. I continue, even when there's nothing left but acid. My stomach aches, and so does my head.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn. Haymitch is standing there with a rag and he pulls me up. He wipes me off and brushes my suit. You can hardly tell there were ever chunks of regurgitated fish there now. As he fixes me I stare into the mirror. I hate myself. Haymitch stands me up.

"Listen to me." I look at him to reassure him I am listening. "If you still have people to love, it's not too late for you." He takes me over to the mirror. "Be the Finnick Odair they put on the TV. Smile." I do so, but not to either of our delight. Bits of vomit are still stuck in between my teeth. "Okay, wash your mouth out first." I do this several times. Feeling the cool refreshing water as it splashes my cheeks and chin. "Better. Now, I am no ladies man, but that's what you have to become. Be over the top. Be like someone from the Capitol. Come on, we'll watch them." He motions over to me to join him.

We leave the restrooms and go back to the grand dinning hall. There are several high ranking Capitol officials there. They will be making statements on my behavior and watching over the districts. Haymitch just gestures to one of them, the one with the blue wig and yellow lightning bolt flying through it. I study him. He makes large gestures with his hands throughout his stories. He places lots of winks and touches his listeners instinctively. I watch his eyes stare right into his friends. Then a woman appears. In a white-blond up-do complimented by her hand painted, over-dramatic orange eyes and lips. He places his arm around her, pulling her in. He shows her the food and offers some, I can only imagine, sexy or ironic comments about it. She giggles and he pulls her in for a dance and makes sure to keep bumping into her, making sure it's skin that continues to touch. He turns to make eye contact and notices me. I quickly turn away.

Haymitch studies me like I just studied the man. "Why not give it a try?" He blatantly throws out into the open. I look at him, trying to see if he's serious. I just made a fool of myself with the speech and now he wants me to get thrown on my face trying to flirt. "Practice makes the master Finnick. The time to fight it isn't now. I'll let you know when it is. Gather what you can my friend..." My new mentor walks away, picking up a new bottle of whiskey on the way. It's easy for him to say weird things like this, his outlet from the terror was easy – beer, wine, whiskey... I need to be much more careful and precise.

After a good ten minutes I start thinking why not? My life can only go downhill from here. Yep, at fifteen I have already reached my peak and will now die of crushing embarrassment. I spot a rather young woman playing with her shell fish on her fine china. I too grab some whiskey off the tray, but it almost makes my throw up again. I put a savvy step in my walk that almost comes easy... I think the alcohol is clouding my brain. I quickly pull the chair out from next to her. She looks up.

"Oh, hello Mr. Odair." She smiles politely. She's wearing a very low cut dress, with yellow flecks on it. Not too outlandish, she's actually quite classy with her white gloves – my kind of girl, or what I force myself to think anyways. She picks up her napkin delicately and wipes her mouth, keeping those hushed eyes on me the entire time. She looks down at the big red smudge in the napkin. Her cheeks flush a bit.

"I have to powder my nose, excuse me Mr. Odair." She tries to stand but I catch her arms. Gazing into her eyes. She blinks a few times trying to break the gaze but I lean into her ear.

"We can go remove that lipstick somewhere else..." I purr like a cat, trying to be quiet as the hall fills with more and more people. My breath begins to quicken. Here it is Finn, just bury yourself now. She's going to stand up and slap you. I can feel the red mark mixing into my embarrassed face right now.

"I know a spot upstairs." She whispers taking my hand. She begins to talk loudly, "Oh Finnick! You _must _see the study here it is absolutely fantastic!" She guides me up the stairs, but not before her other hand brushes between my thighs. We are going to no study. She takes me into the master bedroom. The bed is huge, with large white curtains hanging from its large posts. She throws me violently on top of it.

Sweat drips and my hands get clammy. Oh god, this is not what I signed up for. I was prepared for _maybe _a few kisses but this? I mean - - I stop arguing or justifying anything in my head.

There is something that just clicks in a fifteen year old's half-drunk head when he sees the bare body of a fully developed woman.

She winks at me, I think as soon as she threw those gloves off she became a new person. She stands over me now. Breasts ready to take on the world. She comes over and throws off my suit jacket and starts unbuttoning the rest of me. As she does this her arms squeeze together pushing her breasts up higher in my face. The sweat drips to my nose now. So close. My breathing now seems like it's hyperventilating. I try to calm myself but she moves to my pants.

Her smile grows wide... "So THIS is the trident we got to see on the TV?" She giggles spreading my legs apart and stroking the outlines of my muscles. "Bigger then what I thought... or maybe this is just what happens when beautiful women like me arouses a man like you."

Keep calm, keep calm. Say something cool. "Come now darling, less talk... more play..." I give her a joking claw in the air and she pins me to the bed. Our lips touch. This isn't the first time I've kissed before. Just the first time I've been naked and very aroused doing so.

She moans as we get more into the steamy make-out session. I get a little more violent. Pulling a little hair, grabbing a little hard there – to my surprise the reactions are received in more and more lust. And then it happens. I throw her onto the feather filled pillows and lay on top of her. Happy with relief as I thrust myself into her. She grabs my shoulders.

"Finnick my dear, you are no novice to this game are you?" I keep going. After 20 minutes she yells for me to stop. I pull away after finishing. Leaving her sitting on the bed.

"You go darling, I'll come down in a bit after you." I would hope so. She's a mess. Makeup smeared all over her face. Her hair begging to fall out of the bobby pins and show her true colors. I pick up my clothes and fasten my belt. Brushing out only a little part of my hair. I swagger back down the stairs. I radiate a huge smile.

"Finnick, the new victor." I feel a clap on my back. I turn, it's the mayor of District 12. "Congratulations."

"Thank you sir. Your district provides such necessary items for us all, coal. The rock of the world," I give a cheeky smile, as if the word coal is a joke in itself. "Your tributes will never be forgotten in their struggle. Thank you for such amazing hospitality tonight." Where are these words coming from? I sound like a genius! He chuckles.

"Thank you my boy. Very exciting games this year. We could all tell you would win with ease though." He looks around. "My wife was a very big fan of yours." He taps my elbow and winks. I don't know how to interpret this but I just smile confidently. "Have you met her yet? I don't know where she is..." I shake my head and find my way to Haymitch.

I beam happily. "Well well well... What has happened to you?" He asks curiously.

I lean on the wall by him, like a dreamy Casanova. Then I fix my position, hoping Haymitch doesn't think I'm hitting on him or anything. "I did it. I... messed around with one of the ladies here. It all came so naturally. I even -" I am about to tell him about the naughty details when the mayor bursts down the stairs yelling at a half naked woman with her wig falling down.

He stops half way down as she runs crying to the ground floor bathroom.

"Who are you sleeping with at MY party?!" He yells, his little white face is now boiling red hot. My eyes get really big. I did not just do what I think I did to his wife.

Haymitch whispers in my ear, "You didn't did you? You picked another girl right?" There's a pang of concern in his voice. His eyes get big as I shake my head as well.

"I think I am going to find my way out of here now. Nice meeting you Haymitch, see you at the next games." I smile awkwardly, he waves and chuckles good-heartily as I snake my way through the appalled crowds.

"Who would sleep with the mayor's wife at a party like this?" One lady comments as I brush my way in front of her. I give her a wink and she giggles. "Oh Finnick, so innocent." Right, let's not forget the pity we should all give him right now.

I duck under a plate of ouidirves here and step right around someone's glass of wine there. I stop every few minutes to make a little comment in someone's conversation. There are so many people here, it's hard to maneuver around them all.

Then I stop. I watch in horror as an attendant walks over to the steaming mayor and hands him an object far too familiar. I feel around my neck and its emptiness only rekindles my fear. He's holding my shark tooth necklace. Everyone here must have saw me in it. They all have to know, and even if they didn't it's not hard to put together that it would be mine. I wore it in the games as my token.

"FINNICK ODAIR!" The mayor's voice booms from the end of the large dinning table. I slowly look up... expecting to see my death. But there he is. The little old man has calmed himself and is now holding up a dark glass of wine. I sense a shot of scorn in his eye. He knows. "A toast to you." I practically trip over myself, but I find my composure. I grab a glass from an oncoming servant's tray.

"A toast to the hospitable district 12!" I wave my glass as the people cheer. I don't see the mayor's wife anywhere. I am praying he doesn't make a witty comment, but how could he? How could he say a fifteen year old boy pleasured his wife at his party in his district? I think we both have a little secret.

But, just to be on the safe side, I manage to hide my 'trident' from the rest of the district tours – I got lucky in Twelve.


	11. Chapter 11

**The first secret... Hunger Games are not mine. :)**

* * *

I meet lots of famous victors, none are all too thrilled to meet me – some compliment my style though. Mostly I notice how the other victors handle their sorrow. Drugs, and alcohol in particular. I accidentally tried the alcohol solution is district Eleven.

Thomps informed me right after district Eleven that the Capitol will now provide a pre-written thank you speech during the District Tours, for not only me, but the future victors as well. I'm glad Finnick Odair's drunk and crying ramblings will be the stamp on that new rule.

A shot of fear goes down my spine as the train rolls back into the Capitol. The colorful city comes into full view. It is night when we arrive. The buildings are lit up with large shots of purple and yellows. The train pulls into a different spot then before. Clearly this spot is not waiting for frightened tributes ready to jump into the tracks the next second. I am greeted by an overwhelming sea of people. I actually have to blink a few times to make sure it _isn't _the sea.

They scream and cheer my name. I am led out of the car by peacekeepers, they're dressed in black not their typical white though. Mags and Thomps scurry quickly behind me as I wave and wink towards handfuls of people. They all eat it up. We near the grand banquet hall. And grand it is.

The doors alone on this massive building, which are adorned with a large flag with the number '4' on it, by the way, are well over seven meters tall. They open at the push of a button and a blast of cold air hits my face. My eyes glimmer in the light as the Capitol's finest stand there cheering my name. I am taken a back, I try let it all soak in... but it's just so much.

I walk in slowly. My black suede shoes that Noqall had gotten hand made for me leave tiny ripples in the expensive pink carpet. Large marble pillars jut up around the building, each with a banner of my face. The people are ecstatic to greet me and I am felt hundreds of times in a sea of hands. People from all over, politicians, actors, business men, Game Makers! All of them want to shake my hand.

It's been little over an hour and I still haven't moved. The cameras take millions of photos and record every cocky smile I rear towards a person. I feel someone link arms with me. I ignore it at first, finishing my conversation with the Head Game Maker – who congratulates me on my success with the mutant bears.

The person linked on my arm begins to lick my ear. I turn. It's no one I recognize, but everyone else here does. She wears a thick but clinging red satin dress. There are odd cones shaped on her breasts and triangles padded at her hips, giving her an odd figure. Her hair is dyed to an effulgent shade of red, while her lips form a slew of lighter shades. But all red – I think I know her favorite color.

I catch the eyes of the two peacekeeper body guards. This is a test. I take the woman and pull her in close. Giving her a long kiss on her lips, pulling away for only a second and then letting it hang in the air for a minute. Then I pull fully away. The crowd takes a breath, like it was the most beautiful thing they've seen.

Her eyebrows curve in a seductive manner towards me. I offer more of my arm to her so she has more to hold onto, and we walk together through the hall. She points at food now and then. All of it looks delicious to me. I pull her over to the one table and we stop to 'eat' some berries found on the other side of the world. I look at her, pretending to tell her about how pretty she looks.

"And what is your name gorgeous?" I ask, stroking her hair so the people around us assume we are only flirting. She plays at my game with me.

"Just a girl looking for a good time tonight." She pouts a bit, the plastic in her lips protrudes downwards a bit. "How do you not know my name yet Finnick Odair? I've managed to hear lots about you." Her hands move up to my neck as I tickle her chest with kisses.

"Don't forget my dear, we don't get Capitol Shows in the Districts. Your name would certainly be helpful to me."

"Gemma Wulls." She smiles, giving me a playful bite as I feed her a decadent cracker topped with these 'berries from the jungle'. She scoops them into her mouth ever so slightly. "Hard to believe you're only fifteen." She tugs on my hair.

"Your mind matures quickly after going through something like I have." I let her feel my abs. "But bodies are ready young." I step away from her, letting her feel the lack of warmth she had been supplied from with my arms – this is the first time we've been separated this whole night. I turn back again. "Bodies are best to be used when you have them right?"

"Are you implying something Finnick?" Her eyes twinkle mischievously. I put my hand on her triangle hips.

"Depends on if you're ready for it."

She giggles. "Finnick, the night is just getting started." Her playful face leaves as she leans into my ear. "You have to work for your pay." With that she saunters over to the caviar table. I notice they keep their caviar dipped in champagne. The taste on my tongue is pure satisfaction in my mouth. I have only had caviar twice before. We sell it from our village, but it's so popular I've only ever snuck a taste. The other time was in District One, yesterday. I love the stuff.

We keep working our way through the food tables. They're ridiculous. With this and that. Crazy, I would hate to imagine how much it costs – but money doesn't matter now. I am set for life. Eventually both me and Gemma start getting full. We are forced to stop eating and start talking to the people.

"What a beautiful couple you two make. Such chemistry!" A short stout girl named Effie says. She has a glimmer of desire in her eyes. She must only be in her early 20s. "Finnick." She sighs. "Someday I hope I can be an escort for new tributes like you. I've had such a predicament getting on the TV though. Always a problem here and there." I look over her body and stature and compare her to Gemma. Her nose is a little too big, she's very short and there seems to be too much flesh built up into certain areas of her body. I think she looks fine.

"Effie. You're a doll. You'll never get on the TV looking like the way you do sweetie. You'll have to go under the knife and get rid of," Gemma swirls her hands at Effie's entire existence. "That." She blurts out in disgust. She strokes my cheek. "I'll be back Finny, I'm going to get something to wash down this taste in my mouth." She looks at the saddened girl. "Toodles!" She totters off.

I look at Effie. So much of her is hurt. "It's alright. I think you look fine. They're probably thinking of where to assign you to. Which district I mean." I smile at her. She doesn't smile back.

"She's right you know. All the Capitol cares about is how you look. No problem for someone like her."

I laugh, "Are you kidding? I bet she's has so much plastic in her body they're shipping her all the way from District Three!" Effie smiles. I give her a pat on the shoulder. I don't know why, but something in that girl's eyes just yell we're going to meet again.

"Finny! Let's dance!" I am pulled out to the middle of the hall. The ground is mahogany, a favorite of the Capitol, and there is a large ball of crystals spinning around us with millions of little lights. The music is weird. There are weird booms and noises, but it makes an interesting beat. I almost step on Gemma's toes four times before the music stops. She needs a break and I take a note to get better at dancing.

"Finnick!" I almost don't answer to my name anymore, I just pretend I don't hear people – they're too tedious to deal with. I turn around to this particular voice though. It's Thomps. I had almost forgotten I had a big show with Ceaser tonight. I look over and see Gemma standing at the roasted duck table.

I give her my hand and then in a deep voice, "My dear will you join me tonight. I have a date with Ceaser and a couple of cameras." I wink to her. Her eyes light up and then she clings to me.

I pray President Snow is watching. I want to show him all the effort I am putting into this.

We are shuffled into a long black car. The seats are so plush and comfy I wish I could just go to bed now. Noqall joins us and starts adding this and that to my hair. Not doing too much but making sure I look good. I watch outside the window. We're moving fast around the town with so many twists and turns. I feel the wheels stop and we exit.

Hundreds of flashing lights... for a minute I am back in the games. The earth is falling beneath me, I am being swallowed up by something, I can see all the stars as I am dazed from hitting my head. I step backwards only to be caught by Gemma whose eyes shoot me a concerned look. Everything seems to be going in slow motion. I feel like someone has just paused my life forcing me to look at it so far. But I don't want to.

I jolt back to reality. Gemma is holding onto my arm smiling. I plant a perfect kiss on her cheek as the cameras snap the moment forever.

We slowly walk along the dark blue carpet towards Ceaser. We finally reach him and he runs down to give us a big hug. He kisses me on both my cheeks and he kisses Gemma's hand.

He settles the crowd as he looks towards me. "Finnick. I feel like it was just yesterday you and I were sitting here talking about your odds for survival. And look who made it tonight."

I want to point out that it's only been six months but instead I smile at the audience, "I remember how remarkable the Capitol was last time... so imagine my surprise when I return and find this lovely girl." I brush my nose against Gemma's. She giggles. The crowd aw's.

We talk about some other things, like how I will never be a single man. The interview is simple and boring, I do my best to act but it takes a lot out of me. And now, instead of getting on the train to head back home, I have to head home with Gemma and please her.

I open the door to her apartment. There's a large window the kind that spreads out over the whole city. The marble floor makes a weird tune when Gemma clomps over onto it. She takes something out of a big door that has cold air coming from it. It's a little vial. She drinks half of it and hands the rest to me. I drink it and she points to the bathroom past the hall. Confused to why she wants to have 'fun time' over there I slowly start to walk. Until I feel a hot bubbly feeling in my stomach. I run and grab the porcelain toilet bowl, looking down into its repulsiveness with a sense of it being all too familiar.

I begin to hurl the 10,000 dollars worth of food I had tonight. Watching it all pile up in a disgusting mishmash. The mushrooms, the chocolate, the caviar, the sugar cubes. It all comes up and I can't stop it. I hear Gemma doing the same thing. What was in that vial?! After 20 minutes I am finished. I hear Gemma's heels clicking on the floor again.

"That's better." She looks at my disheveled face. "What's up with you?" She tries to add things together in her head for a moment. "We're always on camera Finn! We can't put weight on!" She strokes my chest. "Not that a man as active as you could though." Then I realize what she's wearing. Nothing. Well, except her heels – which she kicks off onto the cold bathroom floor.

"Let's save water Finn. You love the ocean... let's shower together." She turns on the crazy complicated contraption that the people use in the Capitol to wash off. She sets its settings and beckons me to join her. I oblige. I have to don't I?

I gently thrust her in a lackluster manner. She seems to find it the best thing ever. All I can think about is how badly I want to go home. The steaming hot water covering my body and washing away the night helps a bit.

I can't even look in Gemma's eyes. I can only think of the sea. I don't want to come back here after only a two day stop at home. At some point she has had enough and walks me to the living room. It's 2 in the morning.

"I know you want to get home. Here's your first payment." I look at the coffee table there are piles of gems and a big wad of cash. I would be ecstatic if I knew I didn't have that times ten back home.

"I don't want money." This catches her off guard.

"Then how do I pay you? What do you want?" She eyes me attentively. She gives me the same face Mags gives me while awaiting me to figure it out in my head... wait Mags...

"Secrets."

She laughs. "What could the great Finnick Odair do with my secrets? Trying to black mail me, honey?" Her face breaks into a serious one. "I don't think so."

I step back, "Not about you. About the way things work here." I sit down. "How do I get ahead?"

She processes this and sits down with me. "You don't say _no_. You never say_ no_. When you say _no_ bad things happen." She speaks softer now, even in the comfort of her home. "The most loyal are rewarded. When I was auditioning for the movie about the destruction of District 13 another girl got the part right before I went in. For big productions that get sent to the districts, President Snow personally sees to all the actresses and actors." She stops to take a breath, to remember a certain memory.

"Anyways, I was distraught when I didn't get the part." She looks at my pretend face of disbelief. "I know right? How could they not choose me?!" She takes a minute to compose herself. I can feel we're getting to the juicy part of the story. "I walked back to the crummy motel I was housed in at the time. I didn't live in a place like this yet. But I heard something weird. It was that girl's voice! The one who got the part. I listened closely to hear what was going on... I even waited outside behind a plant. Then I saw him come out. One of the right hand men of Snow."

"He's kind of like a yes-man, always saying that Snow is the best blah blah. I heard the girl crying inside. I thought she cheated to get the part until I heard her call a news company and she told them who she had slept with. She closed the door after the conversation had began. But it all worked out in the end. She was in the news for some freak accident, and I got my call for the part."

"What was the yes-man's name?"

"Grig Wash I think, he's still around... still being a disgusting pig." She rolls her eyes. "Oh, moral of the story apparently, don't piss off the Capitol." She looks at a clock and then rolls over on top of me. "I told Snow I was paying for you for 3 weeks you know. He called to ask. Told me if you were trouble to call him. But you've been a good boy." She licks my nose. "Did my secret suffice for you?"

"So when I come back from Four I am to pretend we're still madly in love?" She looks disappointed.

"Yea, you can pretend. This is just for my new movie coming out, being with you is good for it. Snow let me be the first to have you as a present for being _so _good lately." She smiles. "I hope you don't mind me plugging it in." I start to get up and gather my things. Her eyes watch me slowly. "Do I need to think of a secret for every night now?" She giggles. "I like being a gossip." I look at her.

"No, I'd appreciate it more if you introduced me to people and showed me around."

She grabs my hand, "What are you going to do with the information." She gets serious, "Blackmail with the Capitol doesn't work. They'll kill you." I'm going to wait till the right time to reveal it all, but that's what I say in my head.

"I'm just putting my mind at ease, that's all." I smile and give her a kiss goodbye. She waves as she opens her legs for me to show me her crotch while she's on the couch. "Bye Gemma."

I tousle my hair and unbutton my shirt in the elevator. You never know where the cameras are. I refuse to be played with. But it's a long process – revenge.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hunger Games are not mine...**

* * *

I fall asleep on the train, and fall right into my bed in the Victor's Village. I finally realize it's my first night here in this house. I feel cold and alone, it's far from the shore. I miss the sound of the waves. Despite all the sleep I am lacking I wake up early the next morning. I head out to my sandy beach. I just sit. Contemplating my maze of a mind.

I feel like there are two Finnicks. Well, there are. There's me, and the one I show to other people. I wonder why people like the other one so much. Maybe that's not a bad thing... it makes it easier for me to turn that character on. I think about the tour. What Haymitch had told me, what Mags had mentioned. I try to piece it together, but I can't. It's like when my grandfather was still around, before dying out at sea. He would always tell me these useful words of wisdom – but I could never figure them out, so they were useless to me... until now, when I understand what he means but it's even more useless to me.

But I can't wait. I don't want to wait. But I do. I just look at the rising sun, squinting as someone walks in front of it.

"Hey Finn," the familiar voice rings in my head.

"Hi Annie." I look at her beach curled hair, she's squinting towards me as well.

"I saw you on the TV last night. You're a popular guy."

"I just do what I can." She grabs my arm.

"You can tell me anything Finn." But I can't. I can't tell her anything. If I do, she'll be liable. Her face seems pained and almost wet. I can't tell if she had been crying or if she just got out of the water.

"I can't. I can listen though. What's wrong Annie?" I look at her, I've known her long enough to know when things are troubling her.

"It's nothing. Just people calling me stupid again." I look at her. She's almost in tears. "They think I'm a liar. That I lie all the time about the great Finnick Odair. They yell at me and tease me. No one talks to me. Even my own mother tells me to stop living my fantasies. My brother will listen, but he just shakes his head." There's a twinkle in her eyes. "I'm just a bit slower to these things Finn. But everyone here is so impatient!" She picks up a sea shell and throws it into the water.

I hold her arm and bring her back down to the sand. "I believe you Annie, I believe every word. I talk to you, I'd never give up on you." Her hand reaches for mine. We lay there, quietly.

"It's because you're patient Finn. You know how to wait for good things." I think about that. I had just had a melt down in my mind, talking about how waiting for revenge would be the death of me. There's a faint sound of music in the square. They're going to start the festivities.

I begin to stand up. I don't have a shirt on. I don't feel like wearing clothes today. I am still holding her hand when we see my old house. I turn, instinctively, away. We continue walking in our little paradise. There is no place like District Four. The palm trees, the salt, the fish. It's my home. There are millions of different shades of flowers – it looks like someone from the Capitol puked.

We reach the outside of the square, the whole town is there, ready. I continue to hold Annie's hand. "Let's make them believe you Annie."

Her face lights up. The town parts like the ocean as I make my way through, surprised to find me pulling the odd girl from the school with me. I just smile. My village knows me. I don't have to pretend. And luckily, there are no cameras.

I sit Annie down in a chair, where my parents would sit would they be here. I search the crowd and find Mags, not too far from her I see Grandma C and Sedna. To my right is Nicky's family. They must hate me. District killing District doesn't go over well, but it doesn't bother me. Being here, has calmed my mind a bit. I am not distracted with the rushing cars and crazy people. I begin to speak. I speak clear and crisp, thanking people for being there for me. Thanking people for teaching me things and thanking them for being my district. They all cheer. I stop them, the way Ceaser always does, with my arms.

"I also want to thank a friend of mine. Departed. Who taught me a lot about myself." I look to Nicky's family. "Thank you Nicky." Then I turn to Thomps and smile. "And let the feasting begin!" I announce, taking the words from Thomps. He looks at me angrily. I laugh inside.

The day is fantastic. Dancing I can move too, the drums and their swaying beat. I take Annie's hand and we lead the others, swaying our hips and laughing. There's all sorts of food, everyone is filled by the end of the night. I hear a train pulling into our station. It reminds me that I have to leave all of this again. So soon... I take a swig of a pineapple cocktail and let it ease my mind.

I notice Annie is out there. Talking. I've never seen her do that without me. I smile, when she's happy I am happy. I start making my way over to the largest fish assortment I have seen in my life but someone blocks my way. Oh no.

"Hello there Finnick." A short young Capitol girl is standing in front of me. She has crazy waves in her hair, but it's not dyed too outrageous, it kind of looks like my color. I actually get a lot of enjoyment from this trend that is starting. Her corset dress is tight but there's something off to it, it's like it's a nice model of something much older. The biggest thing that sets her apart is her glasses. Thick rectangular ones. Most people in the Capitol pay lots of money for perfect contacts or have their eyes fixed altogether, but not her. It's an interesting look. But she keeps her Capitol charm with a large black bow that threatens to poke her in the eye if she makes the wrong move.

She waves a fistful of gems in my face. "I have secrets for you too," She whispers when the coast is clear. I am surprised she mentions 'secrets', it's as if my little gossip friend Gemma has been spreading the news already. But oddly enough, my mind is clear with these requests now.

I try to pull Annie's gaze towards me, so I can let her know I'll be gone for a bit, as the Capitol girl drags me to a room in the City Hall. She doesn't see me.

I sigh, taking off my shirt as the Capitol girl locks the door. And then it hits me. This is the room I said my final goodbyes in the day before I left for the Games. A wave of sad emotion runs over me. I can't do this. I can't do anything with this woman.

"I can't." I say, honestly as she comes towards me. She stops and cocks her head as if to ask why. "This room, this party." I sit on the couch. I am beginning to sway recklessly. I need to steady myself. I feel the fish and alcohol mixing – and it's a lethal combination. Then it happens. I hear the screams, the screams of the girl being eaten by the bears, the crying yells from Nicky... I see every horrible part of that Game played over and over again in my head.

And it doesn't go away.

I start clutching my hair, wanting to rip it out. My arms are shaking, and I can't help the tears that start dripping from my eyes. I want to yell, but even my throat is being clamped by the emotion. I expect to hear her yelling. I expect to be going to a funeral tomorrow for someone I love. I've failed.

Surprisingly I feel a hand around my shoulder. I'm still shaking, but not as I was before. My feet keep tapping and bouncing against each other anxiously. I open my eyes, but only for a second as they are flooded with tears again. I am so scared. I don't even know of what. I have to leave, I have to get out. But I'm trapped. The walls start to get closer and closer, trying to kill me.

"Finnick Odair is having an emotional panic attack in my arms. This is _so_ going on my blog." I want to stop, and just shoot her a face of pure disgust but I can't. I rack my brain how to pull this around. "It's alright. I can book you for another time..." I can hear a sense of pity in her voice.

"No!" I can see my eyes now, full and desperate. "Please, don't tell Snow. I just can't do this. Whatever you do, please, don't tell him." I try with all my strength to steady myself and look ready for her. I am still sniffling away a few tears as she laughs. I look at her, my mouth almost drops in shock. She watches a fifteen year old have a panic attack before she sexes him, and now she's laughing at me. I hate the Capitol girls.

"Your secret is safe with me Finnick. You'd be surprised. Lots of men in the Capitol are very in touch with their emotions like you. This whole time I thought you were making those faces during the Games for _us_." She winks at me. "It's fine, I have lots of male friends like _you_." I just stare at my hands, I don't really want to look at her, I am just confused entirely about this conversation. "My name is Bex!" She holds out her hand for me to shake.

"I am a pretty popular news paper journalist in the Capitol. And my father is ranked quite highly as well... But secretly I love to draw pictures. You should see the sketches I have of you back home," she giggles then kisses my cheek. "I'll tell my friends about you. We'll have to meet up and get apple martinis sometime in the Capitol. And Finnick," she turns right before she unlocks the door to leave. "The Capitol is full of secrets. A web of them really. We're not supposed to look into them, but when we do we can unravel the entire thing. One more secret though, it's just another strand." I watch her leave, the big black bow bouncing on her head as she clicks her boots through the hall.

She was on my side. All these women are. I still don't understand what 'my secret' is... but she seems to have a pretty good idea. And a journalist is not a bad ally to have. Recalling the conversation she's actually one of the nicer Capitol girls I've met. I try to collect myself, but I make sure to bolt out of the room first.

I sigh a long sigh of relief. My body begins to slow down to a normal pace again. I decide to walk further away from the noise in the main hall. I am not ready to be the Finnick they want just yet. I start looking at the building more closely. The wallpaper is a sandy beige with small sea-horses floating on it. The lamps that decorate the halls remind me of clams, and the white light inside are their pearls. I continue walking till I reach a dead end. A little side table with some beach flowers potted nicely on top. The unaccompanied walk through this building eases my mind.

I look at a small fountain, I check my reflection, not that you can see much. I pretend to convince myself to continue playing the Finnick everyone seems to love.

I walk back to the dinning hall. No crazy bow girl, and no Annie. I slump down into a chair and begin slurping up shell fish by the dozen. I don't care. I do however at least attempt to be attractive while doing so.

The night passes by quickly, I make some witty comments and people laugh with me. There are no other girls waiting for my company – I guess Snow thinks I have to work my way up to being able to handle more then one.

And then, just like that, a train's whistle blows and I am getting ready to leave. I hardly get to talk to Grandma C or Mags. I don't even get to say goodbye to Annie, but judging by her face the last time I saw her, she was pretty happy with me.

I sit down on one of the velvet couches in the train car. For the first time no one's with me. No stylists, no escort, no mentor. Just me. I get bored after 20 minutes. It's not good when I let my mind wander, it's very good at finding things on its own... but sometimes I just want to yell before it picks up on a memory or let it shatter before I remember what it was. I look down at my shoes, noticing I've been wearing the same black suede ones for four days now. There's a little length of rope sticking out from my sock and dragging on the shoe. I pick it up, ready to throw it away – you don't know how common it is for you to find odd things following you around in Four. Fishing wire, nets, ropes, seaweed, it's always there. I don't throw it away though, it's useless but instead I begin tying it. Trying crazy knots and then pulling them apart in a matter of seconds. It begins to soothe my mind.


	13. Chapter 13

**Humoring chapter. Hunger Games are not mine. :)**

* * *

And before I know it I'm at the Capitol. Again. I put the rope on the inside of my lapel and exit the train. No screaming girls, must be too early for them. It's a weird schedule to follow, always coming to the Capitol – they are two hours behind District Four.

I am directed to my limo, the driver from the last gala I was at is driving again... I already know where we're going. We pass the lemon and peach colored houses, each one looking tall and filled to the brim with things from District One. The Capitol looks much less threatening or large in the day-time. Millions of cars and people zip past us. As we stop at a large fountain to let another car pass people try to look through the tinted windows to see who I am.

I know they can't see me. I feel like an animal in a cage – getting ready for slaughter. People looking at him peculiarly and investigating him. I want to shut myself off, so they see nothing but a blank face.

We arrive at Gemma's house and I go through the motions. But I feel I can be a little honest with her. Not with things I would tell Annie, and of course there are still things I can't tell anyone, but I talk to her about being only fifteen and having trouble with all this sexual activity.

"Finnick, I can see what I can do. I mean, it's a pretty big deal when you get a victor for three weeks, Snow is pretty happy with me."

I look at her confused. "I wasn't aware all victors go through this."

She laughs, "No, just the attractive ones. And luckily for the others, you've taken everyone's attention. The others are all on break."

"So I need to wait for the next poor sod to win and hope he's prettier then me?" I joke.

"Finnick, I hate to say it, but I think you will be in the spotlight for quite a while. You're intoxicating..." She looks like she wants to say more but doesn't, instead she nestles her head on my shoulder. "Tell me about District Four."

Finally, a topic I love, one I can talk about. I tell her about the ocean and the waves. The fish and how amazing it is to swim in the salty water... and then, without my mind thinking about it, I mention Annie. I talk about her beautiful eyes, her gentleness, the way she swims with the animals. How she is a mermaid from the ocean.

"So you already have a lover, huh." She interrupts me and I snap back.

"I don't love her," I start to protest... but I think it's true. I think Annie and I really are close. Gemma sees the struggle on my face.

"Well, it sounds like a beautiful place, I can tell why you always want to go home. For Annie. It's cute, sounds like the love stories we love reading here." She gives a mischievous grin. Then she winks. "You've got to be going."

"Where?" I actually light up. I get to go home early?

She sees my excitement but decides to fix it. "No, you have to do an advertisement for the Stylists. You're lucky! It took me eight years before I got to do one."

"What exactly do I do?"

"Must I tell you everything?" She smiles. "You go in, repeat some lines and hold some product that they made and look at a camera. It's easy, and you get points with the Capitol."

"Thanks... you're a good ally to have." I give her a smile as she recognizes my allusion to the games.

"Hah, it's no problem. I'll see what I can do for you with Snow. Maybe ask him to put you on a schedule that is in time with the games, so you only have to do this crazy bit while you're mentoring."

"That would be amazing!"

"Don't get too hopeful... Snow will still do what he wants, but I'll mention it to him. You are a little young, a friend the other day thought it was weird how a 15 year old was dating a 28 year old. I think we'll have to wait one more year for you Mr. Odair."

I lean over and plant an impromptu kiss on her lips. "Thank you." I pull back and look at her blushing face. I look into those eyes, the genetically modified ones. "You don't know how much it means to me."

Her face is still blushing while she strokes my hair. "You're different Odair. It's hard to hate you. Hearing you talk about Annie, it's even hard to hate her. We all fall prey to you. Finnick Odair is intoxicating." I watch her tongue lick her lips. I know it's my cue to leave.

I head down to where they send me. The Capitol is so large I would never be able to navigate it alone. I am greeted by colorful people kissing me and patting me with makeup. They sit me in a chair as they cover me with different products.

"Hello Odair!" I hear a voice but I can't see the owner. I have to keep my eyes shut or take the risk of getting blinded by whatever poison they're piling on me. He leans into my ear and I can hear a little hiss almost. The room is loud, so no one else would pick it up.

"Do what I say, and it will all be okay for you."

I don't hesitate to even think that he is probably 100 percent correct. I still have my eyes shut when I hear the people.

"There! He's done!"

"There won't be a person in the Capitol who won't love this trend."

I slowly open my eyes. I look into a mirror. I understand how mirrors work, it should be my reflection. But instead I am staring back at someone who has the same facial structures as me, but the skin color of a tribute from District Eleven.

My skin is dark brown, and it burns a bit. Is this permanent? I squint at my body, the color is everywhere. On my fingers, on my ears, they didn't miss a spot.

My hissing friend returns, "There he is! Now that is what I am talking about! The bronze victor from District Four." He pauses. "I DID NOT TELL YOU TO PUT THAT PALM TREE THERE!" The voice surprises me and I am taken aback. So much anger in it. His head snaps back to me with a plastic looking smile.

"Right... come with me now Mr. Odair." He holds his hand out as the corners of his mouth are plastered in an upward motion. I move over by a large screen just colored in green. There is a very poor, sad looking palm tree leaning over. I don't know where to stand, but I stand by a camera.

A frantic mousy girl puts of tube of lotion in my hand. I notice the golden color and the trident on the front. I can see my self in another TV with the green background turning into an ocean. I look ridiculous. My body is a burnt brown you can't even tell who I am.

Another worker takes off my shirt and puts a net of white over my body. I am given directions, smile here, look there. I try to follow them the best I can.

Then the director comes to me again. He moves my chin around and curses at my nose being too square in the corners. He ponders having it surgically fixed but thankfully decides against it. Then he points to some cards in the corner. He goes on and on about how careful I have to be when I read them. To produce a seductive purr for the camera.

I swallow something in my throat... I don't think messing up and retaking it over and over is how this is supposed to go.

I read the words, trying not to sound too generic.

"After a long day at the beach I am thankful for my new color. Being a victor, I always strive to be prefect about my glow – some might say I'm a bit Finnicky." They zoom up on my face as I give a wink. I then proceed to hold the product and talk about it. "Finnick's Tanning Creme is a new way for you, yes I mean you!" I point at the camera and then give a hair flip. "To get the Finnick Odair Tan Look. Buy it today." They zoom in on my crotch. "I know you want it."

"Cut!" I brace myself for the threats and the yelling... instead I am embraced by the hissing man."You were..." There are tears in his eyes. "Brilliant!"

"Excuse me." I recognize that voice. I look down and find the floppy bow staring at me. I give off a smile.

"Hi Bex."


	14. Chapter 14

**This is a controversial chapter - so warning... this chapter includes homosexuality and it is implied Finnick was forced to sleep with both women AND men... if you don't like that sort of thing - next chapter. :3**

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

She looks up at me and gives a look of disgust at Hissing Man. I have to stop myself from laughing but she sees my smile.

"Time to come with me Odair." I look down at the man still clinging to me. He backs away with a bow. A part of me regrets doing an okay job here, it just means they'll want me more. Bex takes my hand and leads me to the street.

"No car?"

"Pff, no, you're team doesn't even know I'm taking you."

I don't protest. This girl is growing on me. When we turn around the corner she starts joking.

"Oh, I can't wait to buy your new product... I am a bit..." She gives the same hair flip I did in the recording. "Finnicky as well." We both laugh. She looks me over. "We better get you washed up," she laughs.

At least I am not the only one who finds it ridiculous.

We head over to a small side-shop and they are more then ecstatic to let the great Finnick Odair use the shower. Bex and I head into the bathroom. I am a little confused that she follows me right in, but I shrug, I know the Capitol Girls are different.

I step into the water as she takes off her shirt as well... maybe she is expecting something. She stares at me as she catches me looking at her bare breasts.

"I know, you don't like them Finn, it's no biggie... but you don't have to look that disgusted at breasts!" She laughs and turns away as she scrubs her body. I do the same, watching the brown paint stain the shower and floor, but seeing my real tan begin to shine through. I will never understand what this girl means about anything.

"So do you know what the deal was about Gemma?"

I look at her with a confused gaze.

"So you don't. Well, she was trotting you around I thought you might have known. They said she 'committed suicide' today. I beg to differ."

My eyes grow wide, "Did Snow?" I take a few seconds. "I mean she said she was going to talk to him." Bex shoots me a look.

"About what," she asks in a nonchalant way. Casually scrubbing her legs, but doing so in a way that her ears cock closer to me.

"I want less hours, and I would prefer to not have so much sexual content as of now."

Bex freezes. She just stands there as the water hits her. She blinks a little and then smacks my on my forehead as I smash into the wall and the faucet pokes into my back. She's strong for a little girl. I lean back and slide down into the brown water. She joins me and pats my head.

"I'm sorry, but you're an idiot."

"I'm sorry about Gemma, she was your friend right?"

"Not so much friends, more like, I wouldn't tell anyone she was having work done on her face and body. We talked a lot. She must have been drinking one crazy drink when she decided to talk to Snow." She pauses. "Of course, you can't tell anyone we've figured this out... okay?"

I nod.

"Well, before I understood what had happened today, I was going to take you out to the dance club, for some, non-female action for you."

"Non-female?"

She giggles, "Right, we still have to play you up for the cameras. You still wanna head out?"

"Why not, alcohol will ease my mind a bit."

We walk through the streets as she mentions meaningless things about some of the people there. She keeps describing the men and giving me winks. And finally the winks make sense.

We enter the club, there are no females. Only men dressed in tight black clothes, dancing, erotically. I look down at Bex who is just beaming with a smile.

"You're welcome!" I can read her lips but it's hard to tell over the loud electronic music. One of the men shimmies over to me as Bex gets our drinks.

"Hey! Victor!" He purses his lips as he touches my lower back. "Finally we got one playing for our team." I give a frightened little smile. Bex comes back with a glowing drink. I don't even care, I drink it in one large swallow. I want it to erase what ever happened to Gemma... erase the fear I have for those at home right now. My mind almost twitches a memory but the alcohol kills it.

It's strong. The room sways a bit, but my body relaxes. My head feels light and I feel like I am walking on air. It's hard to plant my footing. I stumble into the man from earlier.

"Well hey there, Odair!" His eyes give off a seductive glance. "We can find somewhere more private." He takes my hand but the alcohol is preventing me from protesting. I look to Bex for help but she just gives a big smile and a thumbs up.

I am thrown on a bed of feathers. If I thought wooing women was hard I am clueless here. I see the man, his body is hairy and rough and it's missing the smooth curves and soft features a woman's has. His bearded chin scratches my face as he kisses me.

"No. I can't do this." I try to move but the alcohol is making it impossible.

"Idontlikemenm..." I try to say, even I know my speech is slurred. And yet the drink tickles something in the back of my head. What would it be like to do what I do with women to a man? I stop clenching my jaw and it relaxes as the man's tongue slips down my throat. The differences between a man's lips is astounding. So thin, but strong.

His large hands start caressing me. I feel like he is doing to me what I do to the women. So this is how it feels for the girls. I've lost all my resistance and have given in to this new feeling. The man roles my body over, so his chest sits on top of me.

I look at the deep colors of the sheets and feathers as he removes my trousers. Up to this point I never thought two men could do anything together. Up till this point.

I feel a sharp pain in my lower back as my body bobs up and down. I moan out in pain. It hurts, but doesn't bother me enough to stop it.

A liquidy sensation overfills me. This puts me in lots of pain, but my brain says I deserve this. I got Gemma and who knows who else in trouble today. I deserve this pain.

But as quickly as the sharp pangs come, they leave as I am turned over again and pleasured. I can feel myself getting more and more excited as the man's lips wrap around my crotch. Slowly moving up and down. I feel my body and blood quicken as I let it out. I notice the man has pulled away as I spew the sticky white liquid onto the bed.

I look up at him, like in a dream as his eyes meet mine.

"You're a dirty boy Mr. Odair."

His body towers above me and I see his long intimidating body part dangling in front of me. I know what he wants. And yet I am frightened. I don't want to. But his hand reaches to my head and pushes me towards it. I feel its sliminess in my mouth, the odd curves of the disgusting nature. I am not sure what to do, so I use my tongue to explore the feature.

I continue this for a while until the motion and object becomes familiar in my mouth, I begin to lick off the sweat caused be my previous saliva. And then I feel an odd sensation. A thick egg like substance washes down the back of my throat. At first the salty liquid felt foreign, but now it washes into my mouth quickly.

I am not sure if I should swallow it or not, but from the moans of the man I know what it is. I pull away and it spews on my nose. He pushes my face down again, but I turn away.

"I... done..." My head is spinning. And pounding. His hand touches my cheek in a much gentler way.

"You're adorable." I see him pulling his leather pants back on and sauntering out. Then I feel another body on top of me. I can't do this again, no. I can't even believe I did it once.

"Finn," I feel the relief of a feminine voice as the soft hands shake my body. "Oh boy are you drunk. Let's get you to my place." I faintly hear her laughing. "I can't believe you did it with Grig Wash!"

Grig Wash, where had I heard that name? It sounds like I have another secret.


	15. Chapter 15

**So there may be Peeta vs. Gale fights... but we can all agree Annie and Finnick are A-OK, right? RIGHT?! )**

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

It hits me when I watch the news story. They show Gemma and a reporter spews false things about her life to explain the suicide. They make sure to mention how distraught I am, even though no one has talked to me yet. Immediately after, when they cut to break, they show my commercial.

I look horrible, and Bex is laughing her head off from the kitchen. It smells delicious, whatever breakfast is. My hair looks so gelled and fake, not to mention you can hardly see me at all. I just look like a dark shadow. My teeth are scary when I smile, they're so piercing white against the black.

I sound mechanical too, but I think they wanted that. I noticed they enlarged the close up of my crotch as well... great.

I eat breakfast with Bex and decide I have to go Gemma's apartment and pick up my things.

There are cameras and I do a quick interview talking about how I never expected this. They let me upstairs and there are no more cameras. There's a bit of blood and a white outline on the floor of her body. The people here right now are not regular citizens. No, you can tell these people work directly for Snow.

I walk over to the outline. There's a letter by the hand, I look at it closer.

Annie.

Just one word on the envelope and I know it's for me. I grab it and tear it open. Reading every word.

_To my good man, Finnick Odair,_

_Thank you for entertaining my dear friend Gemma. She was a lovely girl no? It's remarkable how manipulative your charm can be. I've heard lots of little stories... for a while I was pleased. Until I heard you wanted a break. That you thought you were too young. But I am nice man. I listen to my people. Now that our dear friend Gemma has passed I agree that you deserve a break. Her plan was quite humorous. You only working while mentoring. I must admit I chuckled. But people do love you don't they. Yes, and our friend Gemma had quite a big mouth... she loved secrets. In short, I agreed that you will now only work while mentoring, or when we have special events planned. But look at what it has caused. Two people have taken their lives. Gemma and that lovely old lady who took care of your dear little sister. It's a shame, the price your happiness costs. But one that must be payed, correct?_

_Snow_

_P.S. Our friend mentioned an adorable attraction you have for the young woman, Annie, in your district. Let's hope she doesn't have an accident either._

The last line of the letter causes me to sink to the ground. I don't even understand most of the words, reading is not my strong suit, but that last line is all I need. I read over the entire letter several times trying to understand it and comprehend it fully. My body starts shaking. The one person I never wanted to get involved. My only real friend. And now who else was in trouble? Bex? A tear falls and dampens the letter. Because of me, my grandmother is now dead. Because I dared to ask for a less strict schedule Snow killed off a popular celebrity and my Grandma C. Why?

I tried to do everything right. I did, I put the effort in. I did.

I need to clear my head, but how can I go back home? Knowing that Grandma C is gone, my sister and Mags are in trouble and... Annie. My mermaid. Now she's in danger as well, and for no reason. For being nice to me, for finding a way into my heart.

I stand up, at least I know Snow's workers here won't find my anger and tears as shocking as the Capitol Citizens would. Under the letter laid a repugnant white rose. The smell stings the inside of my nose.

Your days are coming Snow...

I am greeted by saddened faces after I exit the train. I don't smile, I don't look anyone in the eyes. I walk quickly to the city hall. I storm inside and look at the coffin. There she is.

I break down. I cry, in front of everyone there. But they're my district. They can understand me. I feel a strong embrace from behind. It's Mags.

I return the hug and cry into her chest. I let it all out. I heave and I feel ready to throw up. I want to spill everything, the Capitol food, the alcohol, and the secrets. I want to tell Mags what Snow said but I can't. This is what he wants, for me to be trapped in my own mind, hurting everyone.

Mags strokes my hair as all the water in my body has disappeared through my eyes. I feel another hand, but it's no one I recognize.

"Finnick."

I look up. I know the sound of that voice isn't a happy one.

The woman's face looks depressed. "I know you've been through a lot." I look at her white coat. She's a doctor.

"So they think I'm crazy now?" I let out a smile, maybe I won't have to play this game anymore if they lock me up in the nuthouse.

"No," She takes my hands. "Your grandmother, your lover," my lover? Then I remember, she means Gemma, not Annie. "It's a lot to handle, you're young... and those games mess with your head now don't they?"

I nod. I'm pretty sure they can't release a study about the effects Games have on people – they'd be killed. That would go against Snow.

"You're sister." I shoot her a look of pure despair. Snow wouldn't. He couldn't. I thought I had emptied all my tears but they come again. She clutches my hands tighter. "You know she's sick. She was doing okay, but now... we're not sure."

Snow. I start heaving but not out of sadness. Never in my life have I hated a person as strongly as him. I can eye a peacekeeper by the coffin watching me. He wants to see my reaction. I force myself to calm down.

"Will she get better?"

The lady covers her mouth and lets a few tears fall.

"I'm so sorry Finnick. I did what I could."

I look at Mags. Her face is in a scowl at the doctor lady. I wonder if she thinks it is Snow like I do.

"Where is she?"

The doctor lady directs me to a room in the City Hall. We've combined them both – the hospital and City Hall. Most people here have good immune systems.

I hear the pumping of machines. The room is dark and cold. I look at Sedna, wrapped in a blanket. Her frail face breathing unsteadily. I grab her small hands. Four years old. I feel tears coming to my eyes again – but these tears are different. These are the tears my body saves for my true pain.

"Will she come out of it?" I don't dare to let my eyes depart from my baby sister's barley heaving chest.

I get no answer. No one has the heart to tell me. No one except my sister's heart monitor, beeping slower, and slower.

I want her to open her eyes, if only for a second. Just so I can see her sea green beauty. She would be a mermaid, just like Annie – if she could. Only special people can become one.

A large roar of anger musters inside of me. I am angry at the world. At Panem, at the Capitol. I am mad at my father for never caring for our family. I am mad at him for even injuring my sister in the first place. I can't believe she will be forced into his arms after she leaves this world.

But maybe it's for the better. Grandma C is there now too.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. The beeping has stopped. My sister's breathing has stopped. It feels like even _my _heart has stopped.

...

I feel a head of soft sandy hair being buried into my chest. But I ignore it. I don't know how long I stay in this trance. I feel like I am dreaming, a horrible nightmare, but I can't wake up. I go through the motions. With no emotions.

I can hear things, they're foggy, but so is everything I see. It's all foggy. I can hear some waves and a hand entwined with my numb one. But I can't snap out of it.

I don't know how many days are passing, every minute of my life is occupied with the images of those who I've killed. Intentionally and unintentionally. Every single person. All of them dying, even those I wasn't there to witness. I watch them all pass away.

But there's something else.

A little mumbling that I can't quite make out. And slowly and slowly my mind is consumed with trying to comprehend the little voice. What is it saying, what does it mean? When it starts it sounds like a little bee, buzzing around by my head. And then the images stop.

The people and horrors stop flashing by and I just stare into a bright white light. And I hear that voice and the ocean. Two people who love me, calling to me.

Then I grasp it. I find it and take hold of it. I open my eyes, that seem to be crusted shut from the sorrow. I take it in, one breath at a time. The ocean in front of me, the sand nesting between my toes. The salty breeze, the yellow sun. And... and a soft hand still entwined with mine.

"Finn?"

"Annie."

I feel arms thrown around my neck and wetness covers my face, but it's not mine, it's hers.

"Finnick!" She holds my face in her hands and looks at me. Her eyes dart happily around at every feature. Her skin is so gorgeous in the light. And her eyes stare into mine. How long had she waited for me? I lean into her and plant my lips on hers. This is the first time they've ever touched since the day I saved her life.

She gives in and we fall into the sand. Her hands wrap on my neck. She opens her eyes again and I pull away, letting her sit up.

"Finn, I was so worried. I really was. But you're back!" Tears fall from her eyes again and I smile. I grab her hand and put it in my lap.

"Did you really wait for me Annie? All this time?" Her face begins to blush.

"Finn, you'd do it for me. We're both patient." I hear her giggle. I begin to laugh. A loud hearty one. And calm into a smile.

"You're amazing Annie." And I mean it. I don't think I'd be back without her. Only a mermaid, someone with incredible powers could have pulled me out of the depths of the ocean that I was drowning in within my mind.

"You're just in time for the next Hunger Games too." Her voice is sad, and departed. "You're going to mentor this year?"

Yes, and I will have to please the people Snow wants me too. And I will be apart from you Annie. And I will watch 23 hopeless children die before my eyes.

"Yes, but don't worry about it Annie." I pull a loose strand of hair and tuck it behind her ear.

"Finn..." Her mouth is still open but she prevents the next words from coming out... but I know what they are.

"I love you." I finish for her.

I want to hold onto this moment forever. This woman. Her magic. I was in such a dark place but her light brought me out. But I can't love her. She will only be in trouble. Just another liability.

But I love her. She's crept up on me and ambushed my heart.


	16. Chapter 16

**Another humoring chapter... :) P.S. if you guys are enjoying the story, I appreciate reviews. I am very proud of this story and am already finished with it as you can see, but I do appreciate critique and recognition. Thank you all for reading this far.**

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I am shuffled onto the platform and introduced as the new mentor for the new tributes. I try not to connect eyes with Annie in the 14 year old section. I stand tall. It feels weird putting my fake persona back on after so long of being the real me.

I smile and joke with Thomps about the games and wink towards the cameras. I wonder if we have any careers this year, it'd make my job easier. I don't even know how to mentor a kid. I won the games by being beautiful... how will others handle it?

I watch Thomps move over to the jar with the female names. He flicks one out. At the last moment before the name leaves his mouth I pray it isn't Annie.

"Dekada Jubilee!" He looks around and there is a part being made in the girls who are 17. A tall but plain girl snakes her way out to the front. "Come come dear!" Beckons Thomps. She makes her way quickly to the stage, there isn't too much fear on her face. It reminds me so much of Nicky. I feel she will have emotional issues later.

"Jakson Yish!" The boy, again plain but only 15 years old. He tries to copy Dekada's face of strength. This could be interesting.

They are both filed into rooms in the City Hall and I get on the train and play with my rope before they are sat on the couch in front on me.

"Hi." I smile, but it's weak. I know Jakson. He was one of the meanest boys when I still went to the school. His words always stung. I see a look of scorn in his eyes.

"And how will you keep us alive?" The girl asks, breaking the tension and jumping right into things. Her eyes dart around the cabin of the train. She's clearly impressed.

"I will do my best to help you with sponsors, but we need to work on your characters and your skills."

"Characters?" She eyes me confusedly.

"No, you don't need a character. Finnick hates me. You'll get any sponsor from him. He'll make sure I die." Jakson looks at his feet.

I feel the anger though, his jealousy. I want to say I will let him die, for all the pain he put me through but I don't. Annie would tell me not to think like that. But look at all the power I have now. I have the power over his life and death.

"No, I would never do that. I will treat you equally. I don't want to see anyone die."

"So what should I do? Take off my shirt and wave my body in front of a camera?" His grin is cheeky. I hold back the salty taste that it leaves in my mouth.

"No, neither of you can really be my character? Maybe we could -"

"Because I'm not good looking? Because I am not like the godly Finnick Odair?"

Has the TV really changed how people see me? Am I really a god in their eyes? I take a deep breath in.

"You have to let me finish Jakson. I am trying to help you. You can't be my character. You've seen me in the village... do I really act like I do for the cameras there? They just want their show."

"Well, we've only ever seen you with that weird girl." Weird? I stand up.

"How dare you say that about her! She is special. She has amazing abilities. She's better then us all! She's -" I notice Thomps staring at me. Then I think about the Peacekeepers in the room over. And the hidden cameras. I sit myself back down.

"It doesn't matter." I take a deep breath. "What are you good at Dekeda?"

And then it begins. I tell them how things work, without revealing too much extra. I am more focused on Dekeda, but neither of them seem like strong fighters. I work on her persona, try to make her desirable, but her tall frame and plain face don't help it.

They receive no extra help from Noqall, the style doesn't fit either of them – their bronze skin and brown eyes look bland against the tributes and audience. Partly do the fact that the latest Capitol trend is my bronze tanning lotion. So everyone is the same color.

Dekeda receives a 6 and Jakson gets a 7. Both of them inform me that they skipped survival skills and went straight for weapons. I try to keep taking deep breaths and calming myself – how did Mags put up with all the stupid things Nicky and I did?

Their interviews are unpopular as well. They just come off as generic. But since I am last year's winner, Ceaser acts a little more interested in them, and there's still a spark of interest from the Capitol.

I give them a good luck hug and look Jakson carefully in the eye. His eyes have changed significantly. Instead of the jealous and scornful look they now offer a mood of hopelessness. I actually pity this boy.

It's weird being sat in the Mentor's Room. It's a tall building with lots of TVs and computers and high class electronics. I pass District One and Two and find District 4. There's a long red couch, with a cool box filled with drinks and food. I have a large TV labeled "4" on it.

Next to the TV is a smaller one that looks like it will broadcast the entire games. I also have an electronic map laid on a desk that is beginning to blink as the tributes are injected with their trackers. I sit in the high black chair and spin around.

I'm not quite sure what I am supposed to do.

I am getting nervous as a loud speaker announces that the tributes are getting closer to their pods. Knots begin to form in my stomach. I hear a knock on my door. I turn and find a man in his early-30s with dark black skin. He's missing an arm. I instantly recognize him as Chaff, the 45th Victor from District 11.

He lays on my couch and pulls out a deep dark looking liquor.

"How you doing? We didn't get to meet on your tour." He takes a long swig of the juice. "Congrats." He smiles looking at his bottle.

I can't help but smile. "You and Haymitch are buddies aren't you?" He looks up with an agreeing smile.

"Of course. Would you like some?" He offers the bottle and then jokingly adds, "It's what brings us all together."

I laugh but refuse, "I need my mind to be clear." I think for a minute - how Chaff could be an enemy against my tributes, but I assume it's better to ask then get them killed myself.

"Finnick, you can't help it. Sometimes the Reaping doesn't get a good crop." I can't help but enjoy this metaphor, even if its meaning is sad. Chaff is from District 11, they know all about crops and growing things. They must get a kick out of using the word 'reaping.' Or maybe that's just District 4 humor.

"What do you mean? Can't I help my tributes?"

He looks at the glass. "Naw, I doubt it. You're young, no strategy yet. Hell, your strategy during your own games was just to look good right? No, next year might be better for you. Your kids have no idea what they're doing." This bothers me a bit.

"I tried Chaff." I move to sit with him on the couch. Taking in the inevitable. "I told them what Mags had told me."

"Yea, but you were already a smart kid. We all saw it. They probably won't make it far. You could get them sponsors – being you... but I wouldn't bother. They're dead."

A countdown begins above us.

Chaff begins to move and takes his whiskey with him. "Try to not let it phase you. Hope for better next year. It's all you can do for now. Hell, if you're up for it Haymitch and I are planning on drinking our livers away tonight – our tributes aren't going anywhere but up there." He points to the ceiling and just laughs. "Haymitch told me your were a lightweight too." I see his cheeky grin as he heads back to his section.

The TV is blaring commentary as the Games's countdown is being lowered. Number by number. I sit closer, I watch the tributes' faces closer then I have ever watched one of these games.

Five. Four. Three. Two.

One.

It's madness, and just as hard to rewatch. To relive. I see the Careers from One go to the weapons and knock off the younger girl from 12. Jakson is running towards a long spear, but has a knife thrown into his leg. He grabs the spear and throws it at a boy my age and punctures the liver. Well, at least some of that time during training paid off.

He starts to run from the Cornucopia but takes a knife to the head. My heart stops. Even in my worse nightmare would I never wish upon an enemy to have to suffer the death and pain of the Games. Not even Snow. I just sit there. Perhaps it is better that Jakson is dead now. He won't have to go through any more pain. Even though I hated him, I can't help but feeling so much pity for him.

I watch Dekada as she runs through the woods. I still have one tribute.

A few hours pass and 8 have been killed in total. I feel so useless just sitting here watching. The arena is very forgiving. Lots of foliage and water – but the tributes seem to be having weird reactions to it. There seems to be lots of poisonous leaves. They are starting to mark the tributes' skin. Causing the flesh in contact to become bubbly and fall off. It's revolting.

Even from my District's Chamber I can hear the other mentors begging their sponsors to send in the serum to help their tribute. But it's pointless. The Game Makers have jacked up the price of the serum far too much – only the best of the best can afford it.

Dekada catches on to this – she's a smart girl. She stays clear of the leafy foliage. Perhaps she can get farther.

I hear a knock on my door.

"Oh, he still has one!" It's Chaff.

"My my, quite the mentor huh?" And Haymitch. Both are holding fistfuls of alcohol.

"Well, we thought we could have the party in your place yea?"

I roll my eyes, "Why not boys." I laugh as Haymitch accidentally smashes a bottle on Chaff's head.

"Watch it!" He yells as he hits Haymitch with his good arm.

"Want a drink Finny?" Haymitch is very drunk. Did he start drinking before we even began?

"Nah, I have to watch out for -"

And then it happens. I watch the plain girl from District 4 get shot in the heart. With one arrow. Just like that. It's done. So quick and so over with. I look at the screen, now black. I wish Annie were here, she would know what to say.

I feel a bottle thrown into my lap. Without hesitation I open it and drink more then half of it in a few seconds. Within 10 minutes all three of us are completely drunk.

"I mean, really? What's the point of fish when no one eats them? Right!" Chaff is spewing out nonsense but it seems so funny to me.

I can't stop laughing. I lay on top of both of them. They're sitting, but my body sprawls over the couch. I stare towards the ceiling.

"Wanna know something?"

"What?" Haymitch burps.

"Starfish, aren't even fish." I picture the odd creature in my mind.

"Are you serious?" Chaff spits the brandy out of his mouth while he says this.

"Yea, really... they're like, not fish, but..."

"Stars." Haymitch finishes.

"Yep."

"Yea."

"Uh-huh."

And then I think we all fall asleep. I am aroused by a man in a black suit. I remember my deal with Snow. What would happen if I just ignored him? And then I think about Annie.


	17. Chapter 17

**Short romantic chapter... :3 **

**Hunger Games do not belong to me...**

* * *

And so goes my life. Another victor is crowned for the 66th, 67th, 68th, and 69th Hunger Games. I watch as a new girl and boy are reaped. Sometimes there's a volunteer, but never a winner for our District. I watch those children all die. Some less painfully then others. Some are friends, some are nobodies. But all have a face.

I do commercials for the Capitol. I am thrown around the Capitol as a prize. I go through the motions. On my days off I learn secrets and delve into conspiracies with Bex. When I am away from the Capitol I spend my time happily with my remaining family – Mags and Annie.

And every six months I am thrown back in. I meet new Victors. I become a face. I ignore the faces of the families who have lost their children under my watch. I drink with Haymitch and Chaff.

But most importantly in those 4 passing years. I gather information on Snow. Never once have I taken money from a buyer – only ever secrets. And in those 4 years I grow to loathe him more and more. The more I know about him, the more despicable he becomes.

In 6 months the 70th Hunger Games will begin. I sit on the beach of District 4 and stroke Annie's hair. We've just got done swimming today. She out-swam me by four miles.

"We should live in the ocean Finn."

I smile at her. "Why's that Annie?"

"Because that's our real home. I dreamt about it. You and I, underwater. Never coming up for air. Ruling her, the ocean. You are the King of the Sea, after all." She giggles and I nestle my nose in her hair, smelling the very ocean she speaks of.

"One day Annie. When it's all over."

"When what's over?"

I want to tell her when the world rebels and the games are over... but I can't. That would put both of us in danger.

"My brother has gotten mad that you spend so much time with me."

I laugh. "But your mother loves me!"

"I know she thinks you've fixed me, made me normal, but my brother wants what's best for me."

"And that is not the great Finnick Odair?" I feign surprise.

"Hehe, I'm so lucky. I have two protectors. My brother and Finnick Odair."

I watch her draw something with her fingers in the sand. It's a heart. In it she writes 4 letters.

F.O.

A.C.

She turns to look at me and places a soft kiss on my lips. Oh Annie. I return it, holding her strongly. I stop and take her hand.

"Let's go back to my place Annie."

Everything feels right. We walk into my lavish bedroom as I carry her in my arms like she might break. I will never let go of my Annie.

I gently place her on top of my sheets and begin planting kisses on her soft body. I am so gentle with her, like she's a porcelain doll – my porcelain doll.

"Oh Finn." She moans. I move my hands to her hair and softly stroke it while I kick off my pants with no hands. She sits up in shock. "Where did you learn to do that?" I am taken aback and blush. I can't tell her I learned it from the hundreds of men and women I've slept with in the Capitol.

But she gets the message.

I lightly take off her clothes, brushing over her cooling skin. The touch sparks my lust for her. I remove my shirt and let the moon creep in through the window and abstract my chiseled muscles. I look down at her as the light cuts dark shadows under her bare breasts.

This isn't like the girls in the Capitol. I love Annie. I love her more then anyone. Her eyes motion to me. She is scared. I remember my first time.

I softly lay on top of her, trying not to crush her in my weight. For a moment we just sit like that. Her eyes looking into mine. The green of the sea staring into the green of the sea. Her lips brush mine and I begin to feel her body. Exploring the new area.

I take hold of her shoulders and place myself into her. I feel her moan and I hesitate a moment. But her eyes beg for me to continue.

I begin to gently push my body into her, in a motion like a wave. I bob up and down. And slowly I start to go faster. Pushing a little harder as her hands claw at my back.

She begins to moan and her body heaves. I want to stop. What am I doing to my little Annie?

Instead she begins tugging on my hair and begging me for more. It seems to go on forever and I never want this moment to end. I begin to reach my climax as the arousing sensation bubbles up inside of me.

"Oh Annie." I call out as I let the sensation come out of me and head into Annie. She screams in delight. Her body shakes a bit as I finish off. I gently pull out of her and she rolls over to my side.

We face each other. Her face is plastered in an innocent smile. Even though I've just taken her innocence. I look at her bedraggled hair.

"That, was..."

"Amazing?" I offer up with a smile.

"Yea." She looks up. "Oh! My family wants you to come for dinner tomorrow." She smiles. "Do you have time?"

"Annie, I always have time for you."


	18. Chapter 18

**Uh- oh, trouble in paradise...**

**Hunger Games do not belong to me...**

* * *

I hold her in my arms, tighter then I've held anything in my life. We sleep like that for most of the day. It's around 4 in the afternoon when we awake for good.

I head downstairs and I begin to cook her favorite, grilled mackerel. Then I hear a ring on the door. Annie comes gliding down the stairs wearing one of the dresses she keeps in my house. It's sunshine yellow and looks amazing on her. I have to tell her that's my favorite dress of hers later.

"It's probably Mags." I call out from the kitchen. I put another fish on the grill in anticipation.

But it's not Mags.

It's a slick man, his hair so full of gel that his hair gleams off pure white. He walks around Annie and stands powerfully before me. At least it's not Snow.

"Mr. Odair. You were supposed to report to the Capitol 3 hours ago. I have been called to collect you. You do not want to be late for your appointments."

I eye Annie looking curiously and worried from the doorway.

"Everything's alright Annie." I give her a smile as she sheepishly returns one and heads away. Once the coast is clear I talk in a sterner voice, "I am not going today. Snow doesn't really need me."

"He does. I can either take you or tell Snow you refused. Either way, actions must be taken Mr. Odair." He eyes me carefully.

"I already have an appointment today. Snow can reschedule." I say it in a way that states the conversation is over. As long as I have Annie, 24/7, Snow can't hurt her. The man leaves and I instantly regret it, but I already promised Annie. I had already forgotten about the appointment anyways.

We eat our little meal and Annie prepares some pineapple cake to take to her family.

"Finn! You always get the best ingredients! This pineapple is so fresh!"

I smile, "Only the best from the Capitol." She wraps up the cakes and comes to sit on my lap as I play with a little rope. Knotting it, and untying it. "You always play with that rope... why?"

"It relaxes me."

"Why are you worried? What did that man say to you?"

"Nothing Annie." She isn't buying it.

"Don't go getting hurt Finn." She puts her hand on my chest and kisses me. It's all justified. This is why I stayed.

"Let's go." I say, changing the subject.

I love Annie's house. It's small, but the perfect boat house. We head inside and her mother comes to give me a long hug. Even her brother comes over.

"Hey Ken." I smile as I pat him on the shoulder.

"You treating my sister good?" He asks jokingly as he returns the greeting.

We sit at the table and the Cresta's share their hospitality. They laugh at some of my terrible jokes and we talk about silly things. Like what's popular in the Capitol. If I miss the beds there or not.

"And when are you marrying my daughter?"

The question takes me by surprise. I begin to blush. Annie hits her mom's shoulder and asks why she's being so rude. Ken eyes me carefully.

"Don't answer it Finn." She smiles and takes my hand. "My mom is just trying to scare you."

"Well, I'm not surprised. If he marries you he can't have any of those girls in the Capitol."

"I don't actually -"

"I know, I'm just messing with you." He gives a smile as he eats the pineapple cake.

That's the one secret they have of mine. The one thing I did tell them. I don't actually love the girls of the Capitol. I didn't go into detail but I told them that I did favors to some of my sponsors – like I'll always be in debt to someone at the Capitol. I kept it vague, but they are understanding when I take their daughter now that they have a reason.

"But just so you know Finnick Odair, I may be Annie's younger brother, but I can still take you out if you ever hurt her."

"I would never hurt Annie." I say this in a serious manner, that changes the playful mood of the dinner. We eat in silence for a bit and then we play some games, like "Go Fish" and we sing "Sea Chanties". It's a great day, and I'm glad I didn't miss it for some horrible sex.

The next day I head into the Capitol. The lady isn't at all upset that I missed my time, she's happy to have been given me at all.

Reaping Day comes sooner then ever and my stomach is in knots again. Not for me, but for Annie. It's her last year. Even though she has never put her name in more times, I still have fear. I head over to Mags's house to say goodbye for a few weeks.

I head inside. I take some of her dirty dishes and clean them as she looks up from her fish hooks. She gives me her toothless grin, but there's something off to it. She points to a letter on the table. I look at it.

"Annie."

I know it's mine and not hers.

"They sent it to the wrong house?"

She nods.

I don't want to look at it. Not on reaping day. It's most likely some stupid request. I wipe off my hands and tear open the letter.

_To my favorite man, Finnick Odair,_

_I hope this finds you well. Are you and Annie having fun together? I hope you are... you never know how long you have. Don't let it distract you from your real job now..._

_Unfortunately, it looks like it already has._

_It's a shame Finnick,_

_Snow_

Wait, what does that mean? The words jumble like they always have... I really should take more classes in reading, but I understand some of the keys. Mags sees me, pale as the snow from District 12. She rushes over to me as I let the letter fall from my hands. She gives me a hug and embraces me, but it's too late. I am in tears. They're going to do something.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hunger Games do not belong to me... reviews are appreciated!**

* * *

They're going to kill Annie. I don't know how, but they're going to do it while I'm away at the Capitol.

"I've failed Mags." I say, my voice cracking as I pull away. Mags shakes her head violently and tries to pull me in again. But I see the clock. I know I have to accept my fate.

She follows me out to the Square, where I wipe my eyes and become Finnick. Mags takes a seat in the back and just watches the show. I make my way on the stage. I stare blankly to the audience.

Thomps goes to pull out the boy's name. I sigh, waiting to see the face of the next dead tribute.

"Ken Cresta!" He calls out with a smile. My mouth drops. I actually have to cover it and pretend to yawn for the camera. I watch him come on to the stage. I hear a girl screaming, and I know that scream. It's Annie's. And it kills me.

Ken catches my eyes with a half-hearted smile. He stands by Thomps. His dark brown hair blowing in the sea breeze. I am still in shock Snow would torture Annie like that. Just to torture me. But I have already vowed to do everything in my power to bring Ken back alive, for Annie.

Thomps goes to the girls' jar. He stumbles around and finally finds the paper.

"Annie Cresta!"

The crowd is in shock. A few people call out that it is unfair and are silenced.

I feel my entire body go numb as Annie walks to the stage, crying from the pain of her brother still. Her hair tied back with a little pearl pin that I had given her for her 18th birthday.

I am tense. Thomps asks them to shake hands, as if he hadn't even noticed they were siblings. Instead they hug and Annie weeps into his arms. He eyes me with a face of pure hate.

I have failed in keeping his sister safe. My one big promise to him.

They shuffle them into two separate rooms, which is pointless since the same people will want to see them. Their mother rushes towards me.

"Why?!" Her face is distraught. She screams in pain. "Both my children!" She cries into my chest and I hold her tightly. I did this. This is my fault.

I pull her back. "I will do everything in my power to protect them."

She looks at my doubtfully. There can only be one winner. I direct her to Ken and then break the rules by rushing into Annie's room. But the Peacekeepers don't stop me. She starts crying frantically.

"I can't do it Finn! I can't!" She grabs my arms and her nails dig into them. I hold the back of her head so tightly and we stay like that for a few seconds.

"Annie look at me." She does so immediately. " I will do everything I can to keep you and your brother safe. Everything. You only have to listen to me."

"There's only one winner Finn." Big silent tears run down her cheeks and I begin to join her.

"It'll be alright Annie. It'll be alright."


	20. Chapter 20

**Erm, a bit of kinkiness in this chapter... enjoy! Hunger Games do not belong to me - though I wish this were all cannon...!**

* * *

Annie sits curled up in her brother's arms on the train. I want to take her too, but her brother looks so threateningly at me, I don't even dare.

"I want you guys to stay together. Whatever you do. You have an alliance that will never be broken."

"Finnick! Who are you kidding? One winner. One. I am protecting Annie, she's going to win." He says it so angrily I respect it.

"I know Ken. But you can't tell that to the Capitol. Everyone will expect you to be together. I'll try and get you in the alliance with the Careers, so both of you exert yourselves during training. Show off." Chaff had used this strategy last year. Usually the outlying Districts are never with the careers, but he had someone good enough, he managed.

"How Finn?" Annie looks at me, her eyes are blood red. "What am I good at? I can't kill a person." She's right, she couldn't hurt a fly.

"Annie, you focus on survival then. You learn a lot." I think for a moment. "Ken, I've seen you throw 300 pound boxes onto ships before. Show that strength, learn a weapon even."

He nods. I see his face change. He fully trusts me, as he has seen his sister do for years. We have a silent agreement to both keep Annie alive.

She heads off to her cabin to clean up and we stare at each other for a while.

"I'm going to die Finn... promise to take care of my sister?"

I pull him towards me in a hug.

"Ken, I will do everything. I will never let her go."

"You're a true brother. I trust you."

I am surprised he can. I failed them once already. I owe the Cresta's everything.

We arrive at the train station and I hold both of their hands while we enter the tribute hotel. Thomps introduces them to life at the Captiol. Annie loves it.

"And what's this called?" Her face beams in amazement.

"Annie, that's chocolate." I've answered 20 of these questions already. She takes a bite. Her face lights in amazement.

"It's amazing!"

I can't help but laugh, like Mags did when Nicky and I ate it the first time too. We all sit down before Noqall comes in and watch the recap of the reaping. The two siblings from District 4 have taken Panem by storm... they're a little controversial too. Sure there have been siblings in the games before, but they've almost always volunteered to be together and such... these two were reaped together. Pretty sketchy to some people. I smile inwardly, maybe Snow has started his own rebellion.

I head downstairs where the other mentors are all waiting and meet up with Chaff and Haymitch. I have a lot of favors to start asking. We sit at the bar, and wait for the avox to be out of hearing range – even though Avox's can't speak, we don't want to risk anything.

"Snow did this to me. I love Annie. And now he is trying to torture me and kill her." There's a pang of desperation written all over my face. Haymitch puts his hand on my shoulder. Chaff just shakes his head.

"If only it were last year, I actually had a decent tribute... but this year. Sorry man." Chaff sounds sincerely sorry. He even finishes his bottle of booze in a few swallows.

"I never get good ones, I'm the only person to have ever even won from 12. But maybe..." Haymitch stands up and walks me over to a beautiful girl in her late 20s. She has flowing blond locks and piercing eyes.

She is very pretty.

"She shares more then one thing in common with you Finnick. You take care of the ladies. Who do you think takes care of the men?" He whispers this as I extend my hand to the girl.

She looks up and smiles. It's beautiful. "Hi, Mr. Odair. It's a pleasure." Then I remember who she is. Cashmere from District 1. "A little ironic about your District huh?" She was reaped just after her brother won the games. She moves in closer towards me. Her eyes looking lustful.

I play at this game. I grab her waist and talk to her casually. "I need to ask of a favor from you." A tray passes by with some coffee and sugar. I take one of the additive cubes. "Want a sugar cube?"

She seductively licks at it and puts it in her mouth. I can't help but think how beautiful we would be together. But I know I love Annie.

"And what do you want Finnick... I may comply at the right price. You and I know a lot about prices, don't we?"

I stroke her side a bit. "My tribute, the boy... he's strong. Perhaps District 1, 2, and 4 can be together for old time's sake?"

She eyes me curiously. "And the girl? She seems weak."

"No, no... just a strategy I am trying." I can lie with such ease now.

Her hand unbuttons one of the higher buttons on my shirt.

"Isn't it funny... how some one who gives so much of this, 'act'... is so lustful for someone else's?"

"We have the parade though." I interrupt as I know what she is calling for.

"Screw it. You know what this is Finnick?" She points to her ample breasts and I can make out a thin thread falling over them, it's the world's thinnest necklace. "Pure diamond. Only the best, for me." She smiles and moves me towards the District 1 cabinet. We fall onto one of the beds.

Her hands glide over me. We are no strangers to this game. And amazingly, I find it remarkable. She knows what she's doing.

I go faster, not afraid to hurt her. She screams out. But she likes to play dirty.

I grab her and throw her at the wall. Forcing my tongue into her mouth and resting my hands in certain crevices on her body. My tongue wrestles hers as I thrust her violently into the wall. This causes her head to continually bash on the bedposts.

This time she pushes me into a wall and we slowly make our way to the kitchen. Our naked bodies taking breaks to kiss, and break into thrusts.

She grabs a kitchen utensil from the stove and begins to hit me with it. Angrily. On my rear. She gets more and more frisky and I take a frying pan and begin to smack her with it as she runs giddily around the stove top.

I chase her and tackle her down as we move to kiss some more. She reaches up and grabs a long piece of bread and massages it over my body. I don't know why I find this so arousing but I do. I grab her head and push it into my chest as she brushes me with her hair.

We are both sweaty, and blood drips from one of us. I know I will have bruises tomorrow. I lay on her and breathe steadily.

She eyes me the entire time. "That was amazing Finnick Odair."

* * *

**Seriously... let's make ****_that _****cannon. )**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I step off of her and look at the time. Annie is probably worried I'm not with her right now. I run over to the Televison and turn on the parade. Cashmere comes up behind me and massages my shoulders. It feels good.

Her tributes look nice. Decorated in a stunning green and lots of sparkly adornments. They both look strong, the boy is 18 now and had been the only volunteer this year. For honor, I can't believe they tell them this crap.

Then I see her. Annie. I want to thank Noqall. It's perfect. She's wearing a long green dress, tied with a short brown corset in the middle. Her skirt is filled with perfect long green ruffles. It's unexpected. It's classy. And it's so Annie.

She's smiling there, with her brother. I smile too.

"I'll tell my tributes Finn... 1, 2, and 4..."

"Till the top 8?" I ask.

"Like always."

Chaff's tributes give off no interest, and Haymitch's look depressing. And then Snow speaks and I turn off the TV and head back to the fourth floor. I rush in to give Annie a hug, she's beaming happily. Ken just takes off his jacket and smiles at us.

"Where were you? I looked for you?"

"It's okay Annie, I was just securing your alliance. The boys and girls from 1 and 2."

Ken eyes me curiously, "And how did you manage that?"

"I've been here a while now, I know how things work." The answer seems to suffice for him. "Tomorrow, during training, hang out with them. Pick up on how they train, study them, and try to learn something yourself. Don't act weak now."

They both nod timidly. I assume my knowledge in the art of killing children surprises them a bit.

After I drop the kids off at training I head downstairs and find a few mentors at a table. Cashmere is there, talking up a storm.

She smiles when she sees me.

"But really now is the color of the ruby even that important? I mean red is red right?" Ebonarbia gives Cashmere a disapproving look.

"No! It's not. When I ask for my lips to be ruby red, I assume that the Capitol can at least afford to give me that color and not scarlet red! Right Finnick?"

"Yea! Of course, what you said!" I say unknowingly as I pull up a chair. Cashmere is very superficial... but I guess that's all the Captiol has seen of me as well. I order a drink and watch them all talk about silly things. A deep pain shoots into my heart.

Even though she's underneath me, still safe in training, I miss Annie. I just want her with me.

"And what do you think newbie?"

I look up and find everyone staring at me.

"Newbie? How long have I been here now? 5 years? That's hardly a newbie now, I'm a vet."

"Well, you've never had a winner yet."

That's right. "Well things will change this year. There's a lot at stake."

And there really is.

I hold Annie close as they call out her brother's name later that night.

"And from District 4, Ken Cresta, with a score of... 8!"

The room jumps up with glee and Annie kisses her brother. He is smiling, but not in a happy way. In the way that a man does when he knows his days are numbered but feigns being joyful for the sake of his loved ones.

Then Ceaser moves on to Annie's photo. I hold her close. Thomps and Noqall don't even eye me oddly anymore. They're keeping my secret. The secret that I love Annie.

"Annie Cresta... with a score of... 6." He says it with no luster, no reason to be happy. But I am thrilled. Annie is shaking a bit but I shower her in kisses.

"You did it Annie. You did it."

I'll have to talk to Cashmere again, to reassure her, but for now... I am overcome with joy.


	22. Chapter 22

**Hunger Games do not belong to me...**

* * *

As I take them down on the elevator I go over the things they have to remember.

"You two are brother and sister... I can work with that. Don't talk about rebelling, that would never go over well. Talk about simple things. Don't mention the fact."

I try thinking a little harder of a strategy. "Ken, mention your strength of throwing boxes, not too loudly, just subtly. Annie, just look adorable." I kiss her cheek. "Not that it's hard for you."

I watch Cashmere's tributes. An older girl named Pearl and a boy named Roster. I take note of how both of them behave. Pearl seems nice to the audience and her training score wasn't too amazing. Roster however received a 9 and talks a lot about death. He is arrogant, but also a volunteer.

Then District 2 goes on. I am surprised they don't have anyone really special this year. I can picture Ebonaria chewing them out later. The boy talks weakly about his shooting skills and the girl has an odd mechanical laugh and stiff features. They just seem odd. Cameron and Clever were their names.

And then Ken goes on. He walks swiftly and confidently. I think he's even taken on my signature wink. He talks about District 4, and the water. How he lifts boxes three times his side. He mentions how much he loves his sister and the crowd swoons. Ceaser calls him a noble knight.

I give him a clap on the back as he comes back. He's smiling. Ceaser does that to people, he makes them look good.

"You did it!" I cheer. Thomps looks happily as well. All three of us move closer to the screen as Annie moves on.

She carefully watches her footing as she makes her way to Ceaser. She smiles and blushes a bit. The best part is, she's not acting. That's the real Annie right there.

She looks amazing. I had talked to Noqall about going for the cute rather then lusty look. She did good. Annie's cheeks are brushed with a soft pink and her hair has tiny dolphin pins holding it up into a cute sailor knot on top.

Her dress is long and frilly. Very polite. Ceaser looks her over.

"And Annie. My my, what a lovely lady." He takes her hand. "And how has your time in the Capitol been?"

"Lovely! Every minute of it. Oh, Ceaser..." She looks in his eyes and brushes away a laugh. "I just love this invention called chocolate." She pronounces it a little odd and the crowd laughs.

"Haha, so tell me Annie. What was life like in District 4 for you? Your brother told us his side of the story."

"Well, I love District 4. That's where the love of my life is."

"The love of your life?"

"Yea, it's a bit sad Ceaser... and I don't want to dampen your mood... but right before the reaping... well, it was my last one. Or was supposed to be. He and I had talked about marriage."

Ceaser holds his chest. I even do the same, holding back tears. "But Annie, now you're here."

She looks at her hands.

"And I know I'll win."

The crowd looks at each other in disbelief. How could this little sheepish girl win the Hunger Games? Even I don't know what Annie is saying.

"It doesn't matter what happens. The love of my life will keep me alive somehow and so will my brother. I have to come back to my love Ceaser." She lets a tear fall. "He won't be able to find himself without me."

Even Ceaser, who feigns emotions all the time, can not stop his own tear from falling. And I know it's a real one.

"You have my support Annie. And I am sure that Finnick Odair will be sure to help you."

"Yes, I'm sure he will. And I am going to try Ceaser... I will!" Annie smiles as Ceaser holds her arm up to the audience and they cheer. They cheer for the hopeless case from District 4. But it's not so hopeless... not if I can help it.

I don't even pretend to hug her when she comes to me. I kiss her right on her lips and we stay like that. For a good 4 minutes. I whisper, over and over again, how much I love her.

But I can't hold her forever. No, the helicopter sounds louder and louder as we near it. It's to the point I must say my goodbyes.

"Ken, stay with her keep her safe. If the alliance falls apart get her out of there. Stay smart... if you don't know it don't touch it. Wait for others to try. Stay on your pedestals. Don't get in the way of the Careers, they'll be on a killing spree in the Cornucopia. Ken you run in and only take easy kills if you can. Annie." I look at her. Shaking with fear. "Annie, you hide in the tail of the Cornucopia and come out when there's only 2 or so people fighting with a weapon. Be safe please." There's a strain in my voice.

Annie gives me a hug and a long kiss.

"I love you Finnick."

"I love you Annie."

Her brother gives me a hug.

"Keep her safe Finn."

"Keep her safe Ken."


	23. Chapter 23

**The Games begin! And on that note... the Hunger Games do not belong to me. :)**

* * *

And with that they are gone. I make my way up into the mentor tower, playing games in my head. I hope Cashmere was being honest with me. I pass by her room and just fall into the couch in my District.

Haymitch doesn't even knock when he comes to sit by me.

"The time to fight isn't yet Finnick." What does this mean? He's always telling me this.

"And when will it be?" I am so mad, and angry.

"I'll let you know..." He puts his hand on my shoulder like a father.

"You're not so bad Haymitch. Not as bad as you seem sometimes with your booze."

"I have a heart, it just takes a while to uncover it, that's all. Snow took my love. Let's not get yours taken now, hmm? It's called tough love."

I nod. The countdown begins.

"Don't you have to get back to 12?"

"There's already a winner Finnick... and I don't think it will be 12."

I laugh, "You always give up on those kids."

"Wouldn't you? Every year? Just give up instead of wasting the effort and feeling worse after?"

"Maybe, but I need all my effort right now."

"That you do, Mr. Odair. May the odds be in your favor."

He winks at me as he leaves me in solitude. And what are my odds? Annie out of a pool of thousands of kids. Ken with those same odds, even less, since he's younger. What are the odds? Brother and sister. What are the odds?

Only Snow knows that. The odds are that Finnick said _no_. And now he pays the ultimate price. Because he said _no_.

I watch the gong ring and it startles me. I am glued to the television. I look at Annie as she cautiously runs into the Cornucopia and takes her sweet little time picking over the weapons. Ken grabs a medium cut sword and bashes it into a tribute's skull.

The love of siblings. He has turned deadly so fast. I look at Annie, trying to block out the screams as she finds a small slingshot.

I slap my forehead but can't help but laughing. I notice a trident in the corner of the Cornucopia and wonder why Annie wouldn't take it. Hadn't I taught her how to use one?

Instead she fastens the sling shot to her belt as Ken stabs another tribute fatally who was near Annie. He's doing a good job, and the other careers see it... and are pleased.

Annie grabs some rope and smiles as she ties it into a beautiful net. She fastens the net to her belt and starts to organize the supplies... as the bloodbath continues.

My heart is pounding so fast. There are only 3 stragglers left trying to fight the 5 careers. Annie emerges and shoots one of them in the eye and forces herself to keep looking at him. Good girl.

I hadn't even counted how many had died but it seems like a good number. The cannons sound off. 13 dead. Just in the Cornucopia. The others in the alliance are in good shape. I take out a large pad of paper and begin writing violently what I know. So I know what Annie and Ken will need.

Pearl and Roster. Roster is strong, very good with his mace. He is also the strongest and as old as Annie. He's taken lead. Pearl is not as strong but still deadly. I counted 3 dead on her count after the rewatch. She likes these throwing stars that she can violently rip out of the fallen and stab again.

Clever, well, her name is a lie. She uses a large and heavy sword that looks ridiculous on her slender frame. She talks in small fragments of sentences as well. Cameron finishes them for her. He's much smarter but has a bit of a nervous twitch. Both would be easy for Ken to knock off.

Roster is the real trouble.

They look over the supplies Annie has organized. Pearl thrusts a trident in Annie's hands.

"Try it, it's for your district."

Annie nods so obligingly. Ken stands closely to her. They notice there's no food. Only weapons and sleeping bags. They pick out six of the best ones and burn the rest.

Cameron comes back from looking over the near surroundings. It's an environment I've never seen before. It's all golden. It's hard to see the Cornucopia... The sand blows over and changes the shapes of the map. It creates large heaps that tower tall only to be blown away in a few seconds. I can tell from the tributes' sweat that the heat is unbearable.

I look at the map on my table. The cornucopia is at the far eastern end. There's a large mound like statue. It almost looks like a woman on the other end. Water spews out of her mouth and into a large fountain. I can only assume there's a trap there. But the rest of the map is all sand. No other water.

It's medium, lots of moving room, but the sand is so tricky that it'd be impossible to know your direction at all times. They'll need water too. I wonder how poisonous the water by the statue is. It would take them at least 8 hours to reach it, if they could follow their direction carefully.

I sit and put my index finger to my lips. Thinking. And what about food?

The cornucopia is the only thing that blocks them from the sun... the only things you can see from just standing there are the cornucopia and on the far west end the water statue. Everywhere else you're in the open.

There's another cannon.

A large rabid snake had just poisoned a tribute. Well, that looks like the only food. But nonetheless I want to watch another tribute eat one of the snakes before mine do.

"Well, we can't just sit here... we need water and we can go hunting." Pearl suggests this and gathers her throwing stars.

"The sun is so hot right now though. It has to be about noon... we're better to wait here in the shade until it can cool a bit." Ken thoughtfully adds.

Pearl eyes him carefully. "Fine."

"What meat?" Clever pipes up. Pearl and Roster give each other questioning looks.

"She wants to know what we will eat." Cameron explains.

Pearl takes a deep breath and Ken shrugs. Annie begins tying more nets and Ken holds her in her arms.

"You're very pretty Annie." Roster speaks for the first time. I don't know why but a rage of jealousy flows through me. She blushes. Pearl stands up, angrily. "So are you Pearl." He rolls his eyes.

They wait and so do I. I hang on to every word and watch some of the other tributes still wandering. There are only 11 left. Two seem to be threats but the rest are at about Annie's level, just good at hiding... but dehydration seems to be affecting everyone.

I head out of my room and into the sponsor's room. I've been in her twice. Once with a box of matches on my mind, the other with a cup... now I want water – like every other mentor in this room. I look at Cashmere, nodding to me happily.

I feel a hug from behind. I turn to see the little bow.

"And how are things darling?"

...

"Thought I'd find you here." She laughs. "Looking for water? Can't believe what Snow did. What an ass."

She doesn't even try to lower her voice, and this is why I love her. "What do you think, what's everyone saying"

"They figure Ken has pretty good odds 1-5 chance for winning." She looks up at my eyes. "They say Annie has a 1-60 chance."

I scowl a bit. And rack my mind.

Bex leans in, "I'll do what I can... I shouldn't get involved but I will. You know Finn... sometimes you don't have to ask for secrets... you could ask for... I don't know, whatever you want."

She winks as she bounces out.

I know what to do.

I find a lady that I vaguely remember sleeping with before. Actually I vaguely remember most of these people – who knows which one of them sent my trident. She is thrilled to see me. Most of the women are.

"Finnick! You have such good tributes! Oh we all find little Annie adorable!" She hugs me and I kiss her cheek. She nearly faints.

I take her hand and loudly, in front of her friends, "Perhaps we can talk in private?"

Her eyes grow wide. I take her to my room in the mentor hotel and lay her down. I give her what she wants and she agrees to the water. Like that.

Annie, if this is what I have to do to have you back in my arms... the entire Capitol shall be fucked. Quite literally.

I head back to my room and watch as a stumbling Capitol woman falls back to her friends to tell of the news. I look at the screen to my left. The numbers seem to be moving up. It's nearing night time in the game and I know they will go out to explore the desert... but no one has tried the water yet, and I still don't know the dangers of the desert at night.

How do I tell them not to venture out?

I look at the cash moving up on my left screen and click the send button. A blue holographic screen blinks in front of me. There's all sorts of things, small things with prices of around 100,000 dollars and large things like weapons that exceed millions.

And my heart sinks. One bottle of water is 500,000 dollars. They jacked the price up due to the arena. But this is the only way I stop them from heading out. I click the button and most of the stocked up money disappears and I watch the little parachute fall.

The alliance investigates it.

"I don't think we're supposed to head out tonight." Cameron speaks up. I am surprised he's the one to figure it out.

"Why not?" Snarls Pearl.

"We can see the water... why would they send us water if we can get it ourselves. I think we're supposed to sit and wait." Ken joins.

I watch curiously as the dialogue takes place and Roster just stares at Annie. It's interesting.

Cashmere and Ebonaria barge into my room. The two powerful women tower over me in my chair.

"Finnick! Why would you waste the money and send them water?!" Cashmere yells at me.

Ebonaria grabs my shirt and pulls me towards her. I consider myself pretty tall, but Ebonaraia is the same height as me. She's intimidating with her wild hair and bloodthirsty eyes. "Are you an idiot?!"

Cashmere rushes over to calm down Ebonaria and then just looks at me.

I catch my breath, "We don't know anything about that water over there. Or, what the desert does at night." I eye them carefully. "So by sending the water, it quenches their thirst and they stay safe till we can see what happens to the others."

I await further lashing but none comes.

"That's pretty smart newbie." Says Ebonaria, now completely calm. Cashmere moves closer.

"But Finnick, sponsors don't come as easily as you think. It's expensive... you were very lucky in your games. Very lucky. Those two, not as much." She closes her eyes for a moment. "Okay, we still have 3 players to knock off before we break the alliance for our kids. I'll be in the room over and so will Ebonaria. When you have a plan tell us and we'll talk about it next time okay."

"Right, we have to work together to keep them all alive."

They both nod.

I sleep really uneasily and wake up to see Annie doing the same. One tribute drank out of the water and there was no trouble. I know from experience how hungry they all must be getting... and they'll need more water.

But the sand is always changing the shape and turning things around. They need to know the direction. I tap my fingers impatiently. I go over to District 1's room and find Cashmere passing around.

"Hey Finn..."

"You thinking too?"

"Yep..."

I sit on her couch and put my hands on the back of my head. I know what it is that they need but the word can't hit my tongue. I head downstairs to the bar.


	24. Chapter 24

**Genitalia is involved in this chapter - so if that freaks you out... it's near the endish middle - but don't miss the end of Annie's games! Hunger Games do not belong to me, reviews are appreciated!**

* * *

Chaff and Haymitch are plastered drunk.

"And what do you need, Mr. I-still-have-both-tributes-Odair?" He laughs.

"How can I help them figure out their directions in the arena?"

Chaff puts his head in his arms and brushes me away. Haymitch looks like he's thinking but I know he's just drunk. I sigh and slunch in my chair. I take a glass of water.

None of this is helping me. I head back upstairs and look at the list of things I can buy. I have around a million dollars banked right now. Rumor is spreading that if you sponsor Finnick you'll get laid. I get about 5 visitors every few hours, and it's so tiring.

My crotch actually hurts, my entire pelvis does. I look at Annie, struggling.

I scroll through the list of popular items I can send. Berries, matches, a compass. Wait. A compass! That's it!

I rush over to Cashmere who looks just a terrible as I do with the lack of sleep.

"A compass!" I yell out. She comes over to quiet me. She is wearing a fluffy pink bathrobe.

"What the hell is that Finnick?"

"We use it all the time, Cash!" She smiles as I call her by a nickname.

"We don't use them in my district..."

"Annie and Ken will know how." I grab hold of her arms. "It's around 700,000 dollars... can we afford it?"

"Sure Finn," she blushes. "Sure."

I quickly run back in as the parachute reaches Annie. She looks and is about to open it when Pearl grabs it out of her hands. She rips it open and finds the metal contraption. Ken and Annie light up realizing what it is. Pearl throws it into the sand and buries herself in her blond curls.

Cameron looks up confused.

"It's a compass," Ken explains. "It will always tell you where north is... I've been wondering if it were true."

"What?" Cameron still doesn't understand.

"The sand is always changing. Making a different arena. We can use it to always find the water."

Cam shrugs, "as long as you know how to use it."

Ken and Annie nod, "of course!"

They all suit up and head out. I can see them shiver. So the arena is cold at night but warm in the morning. Interesting. I watch them walk as Ken and Annie add up the stars with the compass and stay on track. Every few minutes a big gust of wind will appear and blow the sand violently around. It causes them to spin around and lose their direction, but with the compass they quickly regain their way.

After awhile Pearl gets fed up.

"I can't stand this! The sand is always getting in my eyes! What a stupid arena!" She kicks a rock over violently and reveals a deadly snake mutt coming after her and bites her. It punctures her heart with its teeth before she can even grab her knives.

I can hear Cashmere swearing in the room over.

Roster just as quickly kills the creature as he rushes over to Pearl.

"Well, she wasn't the nicest, but she was..."

I watch as jealousy rises in me again. Annie walks over and places her hand on Roster's shoulder. He holds her hand.

"At least now we have meat." Ken pipes up breaking their moment of silence.

There's no reason to start a fire either, the sun gets so hot all of their skin begins to blister red within seconds. It also cooks the meat.

They eat it but find it hard to move their skin is so cracked and red.

Both Cashmere and Ebonaria walk into my room.

"They've jacked up the price for sun lotion. It's around 2 million per pack now."

I shake my head in disgust.

"We have to get it to them though." I already know what I have to do. I strip off my shirt and walk back into the Sponsor Room. Cashmere follows my plan. I see a look of sadness in her face as she unbuttons the top button on her blouse. Ebonaria just laughs as she walks out of the room.

They get the medicine but it hurts me so much. I smile as Annie enjoys the relief but my smile fades when I reposition myself in my chair. I can't even touch my crotch area. It hurts too much.

Haymitch and Chaff laugh at me, but I need to get to a doctor. It's hurting to even walk. They sit me down and a man in a white coat explores _down there_.

...

There's a TV broadcasting the games. I watch in horror as a large pit begins to open in the sand and it swallows up Clever... she never really was 'clever'. Annie is breathing tiredly, and I know they need water, they're so close though.

"You're really tense Mr. Odair." I feel the cold white glove pressing around. I moan out in pain. "Hmm, you've really done a number on it. It's needs a break once a while, y'know?"

He goes out of the room. I see Annie, Ken, Roster and Cameron nearing the water... one more death and the alliance is off. The doctor returns.

"I just called Snow, he said we're going to put you under the knife... so you can keep performing."

"Wait what?!" I try to move in protest but a little pink gas they put through my nose calms me down. The last thing I feel is 12 pairs of eyes staring at me and touching my groin.

What is Snow doing to me?

I wake, I do so quickly. I don't have time to be here. They're almost at the top 8, Annie is almost safe, even though she's never been in more danger. I try to stand and I expect it to hurt but it doesn't. I look in a mirror at my naked lower body.

My crotch is engorged and as I feel around I notice most of it is fake, it's plastic. Snow enlarged my penis. I want to take a scalpel and kill someone. This is so stupid. So horrible.

I storm out of the room and run into a girl with tall light green hair. I've seen her somewhere... but haven't I seen everyone somewhere?

"Oh, Mr. Odair." She blushes like she's embarrassed. "I um, well, odd place to run into you... I was just..." I look at her trying to connect the face to a name. "President Snow told me if I got a little work done, I'd get on the TV..." She looks at her feet. "I remember you told me I was fine the way I was. But."

"Effie Trinket." She looks up and nods. So Snow makes everyone who is not the definition of perfect go under the knife.

I guess one day he'll go under too, and it won't be to make him perfect.

"I um," She blushes and begins to cry. I press my lips onto hers.

"Don't let it phase you Effie. Don't let them change you."

Shes crying in between kisses, "But I have Finnick." She sniffles.

"I guess I have too." I look down at her, sadly. 5 years, a lot has changed to both of us. I look at her now, tall high heels, a small pointy nose, no body fat, and large breasts. Only those eyes remain the same. Then I think of my engorged cock. What is the Capitol doing to us? Why am I forcing Annie into this world? Am I really that selfish? She's better off dead. So am I.

"Don't give up."

I give her hug, it's all I can do before I storm back into the mentor's room. They're at the water. There's a cannon, and I watch in horror as a mace bludgeons Ken's head. Decapitating him. Annie screams as a cannon fires.

The scream terrifies me, but not as much as the statue of sand cracking above them all. Cameron and Roster circle around each other and Annie hides in a corner. Screaming, mumbling things to herself. Her brother's body still laying there, headless.

"Annie!" I yell, my face covered in tears as I yell at the TV. The statue cracks and the arena is filled with flooding water. Cameron drowns immediately. Luckily for Roster, he was a fast learner. Annie paddles, now aware that Roster is focused on her. She swims quicker. This_ is _a place for a girl from the water.

...

She swims under the water and Roster assumes she is gone. She steadies herself like I taught her all those years ago. I watch another tribute flail around. He'll be out of energy before the sun sets.

Annie bobs around and forces herself to look around. Roster is floating, fighting the current, but giving in to a rest. But there is no where to rest. No where to put your body down. Nothing to eat. The water is at least safe.

I look at Annie's odd expression on her face. She's smiling with her eyes closed shut. The cannons blare off. She's been swimming in the water for an entire day. Roster can't do it. He's never even learned how. They're swimming around like fish in a fish bowl.

There's another scream... it's loud, and desperate. Annie covers her ears and her body begins to sink. She's gone mad.

I pound on the screen.

"Annie!" I cry, letting my body sink to the floor. I look at my sponsor's money... the sun lotion took it all away. I can hear Cashmere yelling too. And I see it. A large whirlpool has formed. Annie's eyes shoot open under the water as she sees the pool forming. She knows what to do.

I watch as they both look at each other. Annie is holding her breath like a mermaid would. Roster is swirling around losing unconsciousness, trying to swim against the current while Annie swims with it at an angle.

Roster's mouth opens with bubbles and Annie is stuck. By nothing, just an invisible force. Her eyes look around scared. She opens her mouth and you can't hear anything in the motion of the water but she yells something. Her eyes put it to words. Finnick.

I put my hand on the screen and cry. It's over. It's all over. A hand holds my chin and tells me to look up. The water has been drained and all that is left is a water-logged little girl.

"The winner of the 70th Hunger Games: Annie Cresta!" The announcer calls out but there is no movement from the little girl. My little Annie. Large hands direct me to a hovercraft and Annie is lifted into it. I run to her, crying and yelling. They hold me back as they take her into a room. I watch them try to push life back into her. She stays motionless.

I follow her into a permanent room. They have peacekeepers stationed everywhere. I take Annie and I hug her. I stroke her hair. I kiss her lips. I whisper sweet nothings to her.

I take my rope and never leave her side. I tie the knots with one hand and clench her right hand in my other. Haymitch and Chaff come to see me, so does Cashmere but all are shuffled away. As I hold Annie. Like she held me.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Finnick... they need you to do an interview with Ceaser since Annie can't. You need to take the crown in place of her." I look up at Thomps. I take a deep breath.

I have to keep Annie safe. I can never say no. I give Annie a long kiss and am taken to the stage. My eyes dart frantically around the room at the people.


	25. Chapter 25

**Romance! Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

"Finnick Odair! Only 5 years and you have your first victor how does it feel?"

"Amazing, I'm so happy." I smile. Actually I hate it. The love of my life is in so much pain because of it. It feels horrible. It's all my fault.

"So can you give us some details on Annie's recovery?" Details? I want to spit on Ceaser. No, you can't have details, just leave her alone.

"Well the Games affect us all Ceaser. Annie is still a little water-logged and seeing her brother isn't helping. That was a very despicable moment." I look up towards the Game Makers, as if my statement was geared towards them.

"Let's watch the recap! You can even tell us some of the exciting things that were going on backstage!"

"Of course!" I smile and laugh. Go kill yourself, all of you. Maybe then we could all escape this hell.

We watch the games. I watch my little Annie, they keep rewinding to show her face when Ken is decapitated. I want to yell at the editors. Then they cut to her yelling my name underwater and it tears me apart all over again. But this time I can't be the victim. This time, I have to be the one to stay strong.

I smell the blood and the roses before he even comes near me. I could probably do it. With my hands, kill Snow, right now. But what would that accomplish? Annie would be stuck, alone, and killed in a horrible way. That will never happen.

He hands me the crown and looks me evilly in the eye.

"Very lucky boy, don't let it happen again."

I laugh, so the audience thinks he told me a joke. He offers his hand for a handshake, and I refuse and turn to the audience and hold it over my head with pride.

"For Annie!" I call out as the crowd breaks into applause.

I can still feel Snow's death glare from the beaches back at District 4. But at least Annie, or at least Annie's body, is with me.

I brush through her hair with my fingers. I let her sit there soaking in the sun.

"Today was great Annie. There were so many fish in the ocean, they all swam around me. I couldn't bring myself to even shoot them they were so beautiful you would have loved it."

I take her emotionless hand, "I love you Annie."

I lay her head in my lap and begin braiding her hair. Little braids here and there, intricate ones. And when her entire head is tied up I untie them all. Letting little waves fall over her shoulders. I lean back. Where are you Annie? I know you're in there. Trapped in your head.

I move her over and run to jump in the water. Like I do everyday. But it's not the same without Annie. Even the fish and creatures seem different and sad. I take a deep breath and grab armfulls of clams. I bring them to shore with me. Prying each one of them open.

No pearls.

Annie loves pearls. They're her birth gem as well.

"When I find the pearl Annie, you'll come back." I stroke her hand.

And so goes everyday. They're not like the days before the games. They're not innocent. We're both in pain. I whisper to Annie, I call her name like she did to me.

I know she's wrestling the images, trying to make the screams stop so she can hear the voice. I tell her about my day, I talk about Mags and how I need to visit her soon. Mags had a stroke while I was watching over Annie. She's recuperating at the City Hall... but she mumbled for me to stay with Annie. Still, I can't leave the two people left in my family.

Annie gives off little motion. But I will never give up. I hold her hand firmly. Putting it on my beating heart.

"I love you Annie. Come back to me Annie."

I know none of it helps anyone but me, Annie will come back when she wants. I dive in to get the clams.

Everyday like the last. Not perfect, but not horrible. Just waiting. Annie always said I was patient, but I've never longed for her like this.

I stroke her hair as I crack open a clam. And the white little pearl falls out. It brings me to tears. Annie isn't back yet. I knew it was pointless. But I still talk to her.

"Annie, I love you so much. Look even our lady, the ocean wants you back. She gave you this pearl. Oh, Annie I -"

"-love you."


	26. Chapter 26

**Drama! Hunger Games do not belong to me...**

* * *

I have to stop. Was that her voice? It wasn't mine. Slowly her head tilts back to reveal those beautiful sea green eyes. I can't contain myself. I grasp her and spin her around and around in my arms.

She screams. I stop immediately. Did I hurt her?

She falls to the ground and covers her ears... but she's moving... she's showing emotion.

I hold her arms.

"Annie, come back to me. The Games are over. You're here with me. No one can take you. No one. I am here Annie. Come back to me. Please Annie."

Slowly her hands drop and she laughs awkwardly. "Finnick, the sea horses told me that pineapples are ripe this year!" Her eyes look deeply into mine.

What is she talking about? Her face is worried.

"Of course they did Annie. You're so smart."

She smiles and falls into my arms. I kiss her. I can't stop kissing her.

"I talked to Sedna for you. She said you're a good brother."

I look at her. Annie. What's wrong with you? Sedna is dead. It actually pains me to say in my mind. What did the Capitol do to your mind?

"Let's go swimming Finnick. I have a friend I want you to meet." Her face is still the same. The same questioning, innocent face. I can't help but smile.

"Let's go Annie."

It feels amazing being in the water again. With her. We hold each other underneath the high blue sky, the air. We look at the world below us. Annie motions for me to follow her. I'm glad she's not scared of the water after what happened.

She comes up for air next to a tiny dolphin. Where did that come from? At my sight the dolphin gets ready to pounce as if he'd seen my invisible trident.

"No, it's okay Frankie."

"His name is Frankie?" I swim over as Annie kisses it. Oh, Annie. We'll get you back. I'll work with you everyday.

"Frankie said that you stayed with me everyday while I was visiting my brother." She stops. "Is that true?"

I take her in my arms... the dolphin swims away.

"Annie, I never left your side, and I never will. Ever."

I take her hand and she follows me to City Hall. I am greeted by a toothless grin from Mags. Her eyes squint in her smile and she runs to hug Annie and I.

"Look who I found." I laugh as I lay my head on Annie's. Mags tries to say something but only a mishmash of words comes out. Annie looks at me. I know what she said. I don't know how, but Mags and I have that bond.

"She's glad you're back Annie." I smile as Annie runs over to show Mags the pearl. Mags takes a fork from her tray and knots and twists it into a fish hook and attaches the pearl to it. I take the rope from my pocket and braid it and we attach the fish hooked pearl to it. Then I tie it onto Annie's neck.

Annie touches it and gives a wide smile. After a while of talking to Mags we head home. We think it's best Annie moves to my house, she'll have her own, but I want her by me. All the time.

I finish carrying the last box of hers into my living room. Her mother comes over to us and gives me a hug. Her hair has grayed and her eyes are sunken in. The pain of the loss of her children has aged her significantly.

"Oh thank you Finnick. For everything you did."

"You don't have to thank me everyday Ms. Cresta."

"But I do. You saved my Annie."

Annie wanders over to us whispering to one of her imaginary friends.

"Mom, Ken said that you left the stove on!"

I watch Annie's mother start to whimper and I hug her holding her back from tears. Annie looks at her sad mother and I catch her hands slowly moving up to her ears.

"No Annie, it's alright. Your mother is really happy, not sad."

Annie smiles and goes on walking, talking to her friend. Annie's mother grabs me and the tears drip down her wrinkled face.

"What did they do to my babies?" I hold her in my arms and walk her back to her house. I take a few breaths calming myself, and take the phone off the hook while I dial up a new number back in my house.

"Hey Chaff... Annie's back."

"I can see your smile through the phone. That's great!"

"Yea, she's just been a little weird lately. Talking about ridiculous things. Mumbling to herself. I just," I sigh. "It's like she's not there anymore."

"That's rough. But you brought her out once, keep trying I guess. You're a good man Odair... will it pain you to hear that I'll see you again in 7 months?"

I push my tongue on my cheek but smile at his salty humor. "Thanks Chaff... they canceled the tour since she's unstable."

I hear a little noise behind me. I turn and see Annie sniffling. My eyes grow wide.

"I'll call you back Chaff." I hang the phone up immediately.


	27. Chapter 27

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

"So I'm broken? I'm a mad girl from District 4?" The tears roll down her face. I begin to move but she bolts towards the door.

"Annie wait!"

She's fast. She's in my view and I know where she's going but nonetheless I am scared. I am horrible. Why did I let her hear what I was saying? I notice the clouds are dark, and there are no stars. The waves aren't happy either. The rain begins to fall and I hear thunder in the distance.

"Annie Stop!" I boom loudly over the crashing waves and rain. But she splashes into the water.

"Let it kill me Finnick!" She yells back. She begins screaming, horrible, horrible screams. She grabs her head and thrashes it around. Throwing herself on a rock and letting its rough edges gash into her body. I run with no hesitation to retrieve her.

I eye the storm carefully. I swim out and throw her over my shoulder, all the while her deathly screams destroy me. I get her onto the land and sit her down under an overhanging rock. I hold her close to me. She continues to scream. But my arms prevent her from thrashing about anymore.

After a while her sobbing stops and her heaving slows. I try my best to bandage up the wound. Even if we're still close to District 4, it's not safe for us to go out right now the storm has gotten very bad. I just plant kisses on her. My words aren't doing their job to soothe her.

"I'm not right in the head? That's what they told me when I was young. The other girls."

"But what did I tell you? Those girl's were jealous. Jealous you were so amazing and perfect. And guess what Annie, you still are. You are just as amazing and perfect as you were before."

"Before what?"

My body begins to shake, "Before I was the reason you and your brother were sent to the Games." The tears are coming from me now and the little face with the green eyes looks at me curiously.

"What are you talking about Finnick." She pauses and the old Annie is back. "You can tell me anything."

I grab both her arms as I lean my head down. "But I can't Annie. I can't tell you anything. I never will." I grab her closely. "You will never be in danger again."

I can feel her heart slow as she comes back a little bit more.

"I love you Finnick."

I walk her back to the house as the storm clears up. The sand is soft and congeals together and leaves imprints of our feet as we hold hands along the beach. I pass Mags's empty house and remember that she will be coming back tomorrow. I unlock the door to our house.

Annie is sopping wet and I take her to the bathroom and start a bath for her. She keeps looking up at me, with these weird eyes. They keep looking for reassurance and I give her it with my smiles.

She dips a toe into the water and jumps back.

"It's really hot Finn..." she sags her shoulders, "I don't want to be alone tonight Finn... will you be with me."

I nod as I slowly put my foot in the scalding water. It burns my freezing feet but feels so nice and silky on my calf. Then I get the rest of my body in. I feel some of the sand laying on the bottom of the tub. I offer my arms to Annie and help her in, so she is laying on the opposite end of me.

She holds her arms and looks at me. She looks like Annie, but there is such a bedraggled look about her. A different look in her eyes. She is still innocent, but not. It's hard to put to words. Earlier I thought about getting her a specialist to talk to. But how would that help, she would just be asked questions about me, and wouldn't get the help she needs.

I think I need a specialist too... a therapist I think is the correct medical term.

I see Annie smiling at me shyly. She blushes as my gaze moves down to her breasts and she sinks herself lower in the water. I laugh. I offer her some soap and we both scrub the sand off our bodies. She moves closer to me, making the water splash out of the tub.

She leans her bare body onto mine, I can feel her cold skin sticking to mine. She turns and gives me a kiss. For just that moment her eyes change back, back to the Annie I know. But then it's gone.

We dry off and I hold her in her warm pajamas next to me, her drying hair making the pillows damp. For once, my sleep in uninterrupted. No bad dreams, no dying people, no screams. Nothing.

The next few weeks after I have Annie back I try to work with her. I don't act like a parent, telling her to stop doing things, I let her do what she wants. She has this odd habit of lighting matches, looking at the fire and then placing the burnt match back in the box. She also likes to organize all the forks so they face the same way.

She sings little songs to herself, and I can't help but look at her as a child. I talked to some people at the hospital and they told me to just help her find her place again. The answer makes me angry, like there's no way to bring my Annie back.

I kiss her goodbye, heading out for only a few minutes to fetch some bread from the market. She insists on making my favorite fish cakes and shrimp salad today. I laugh at her excitement in a good-hearted way and head out.

I walk past Mags's house and pop my head in to say hello. I see her sitting in a wheel chair looking at the television. I head over to her and wrap my arms around her. She looks at me and grins.

"How's it going Mags."

She makes some noises with her mouth and I nod.

"I'm still trying to get Annie back." I take a deep breath and close my eyes as I say it. She puts her hand on my heart. "I know. She is in my heart everyday. I just want her to be safe. I just -"

I pause and collect my thoughts. What do I want?

"I don't even know what I want Mags."

I look at my hands in my lap. A grown 20 year old man, sitting with an elderly old lady. The man can't stop crying and relies on everyone to let him know he's a victim.

But he's not a victim. Annie, his true love is. And she's gone mad. It would make a great TV show for the Capitol.

"I gotta go Mags." I pick myself up and head out, back to the Town Square. I pass the people.

The young girls in small sundresses giggling as they see me. I smile, but not happily. It's more of a grimace. I head into the bakery. The smell of frosting fills my nose. The young baker girl greets me.

"What would you like today?" She perks up.

"Give me the large one, over there... and... the dark brown one up front." All the bread tastes the same to me. Some people beg to differ, even in the other Districts I thought they were the same. Ours is just a little more salty and green I guess . She hands me a bag filled with my breads and I head home. Hugging the warmness of the fresh grains.

"I'm back Annie..." I open the door. I freeze. My eyes take a few seconds to examine the scene. Blood on the floor. Blood on the fish. Blood on the knife. And blood on Annie's wrist. I drop the bread and run to the unconscious girl. I throw her over my shoulders and bash through the crowds of people. Yelling at them to move in the harshest voice I can muster.


	28. Chapter 28

**Some dark stuff, and some light drunk funniness... gotta love 'em both! Hunger Games are not mine... oh and Johanna is here! :D**

* * *

I let the doctors who are standing around take her and begin to work on her. I pace the floor. I want to watch but I can't. They connect some sort of tube to her and then stitch up the cuts.

My mind is torn. Was it Snow... or... my mind shudders, was it Annie?

The doctor lady who told me about Sedna comes over to her. I've seen her so much now, maybe I should learn her name.

"It was a suicide attempt. You saved her."

"Why would she do it? What have the Games done to her? She's with me. But all she talks about is nonsense. One moment she's there, the Annie I love and the next she's gone! I can't keep playing these games... the Games!" I start getting angrier. I pick up a chair and toss it into a window, shattering the glass as peacekeepers come over to suppress me and the doctors begin screaming.

"It's the Games!" I yell as they start taking me away onto a train. I am confused but I stare to the crowd that has gathered at City Hall. "The Games destroy everyone!" I elbow a peacekeeper in the eye and they drop me as I run back to Annie. I hug her and lean over her body protectively. Crying onto her numb face.

I feel the hands on my shoulders again. "No!" I yell as more gather and overpower me. "I won't leave Annie." I try fighting them. My mind switches over and I am back in the Games. There are trees everywhere and these people are standing between me and going home to Annie. I punch one of their faces and the white mask falls off to reveal an older man, not a child. But my mind doesn't change the setting.

I am back in the Hunger Games. My biggest fear. And Annie is here with me.

I grab one of their bodies and smash it into the floor kicking in the skull. I can still feel the tears on my face, and now all the screams are coming.

"Make it stop!" I yell to no one in particular. I think I yell it to the person controlling my mind. The person making me crazy. I give in, just like Annie does. The screams are too much. I hold my ears and sink to the ground. Yelling as the tears violently fall. I grab my hair and try to rip it out as I curl my knees to my chin. I shake around until I feel a burning sensation.

And then slowly, everything fades. The pain fades, the screams fade. For only moments I am at peace. Everything, my mind, my body, my heart. But it all goes away when I think of Annie. I slowly open my eyes. I need to get to her. If Snow plans on killing both us, which I assume he will after my little outburst, I want to die by Annie's side.

I slowly move my feet over the bed and they feel like logs. I move my head but my eyes roll back as the swift motion forces a headache. I force myself to sit up but I feel so weak, but nothing really hurts. I feel a needle in my arm as I try to move. I read the label on the bluish liquid.

Morphling. I know from the District 6 mentors this is how they numb their pain. I wonder what my painkiller from the Games is? I drink sometimes with Chaff and Haymitch, and it calms me, but I don't do it very often. Sex is just painful now thanks to the surgery. This morphling is nice, but looking at District 6 I'd rather not get involved with it.

Maybe I am really selfish. Maybe Annie is my only cure. Is it selfish I want her so much? I don't know what her cure is. I pray it's not cutting herself. I hope that was a one time thing.

But regardless, I have to find out what happened. I move my legs and I start to regain feeling as I walk across the white room. I look in a mirror by the sink. I am still reluctant to take the morphling out of my arm. The minute I do something will beep. And it feels so nice... I look at my face. My lip is torn on the left side and there is a large bruise over my eyebrow. My body is nearly naked and all over are large purple welts turning black and yellow at the touch. It all looks disgusting. I look disgusting.

I place my hand on the doorknob. I don't turn it yet. I rip out the morphling injection and turn the knob and head quickly down the hall. This isn't the hospital in District 4.

...

I head down the hall, looking at the names on each room. I move quickly. I reach the end of the hallway and see no Annie. I get ready to push through the door when I read the sign above it.

_Mentally Ill_

So Annie and I are both mentally ill? Or maybe not. I was the only one in this area, Annie must be somewhere else. I push through the heavy door and find myself in the lobby.

There are cameras, peacekeepers, and lots of Capitol figures. They all start screaming when they see me. Peacekeepers start to move, some push them back and some near me. The people yelling seem sad and angry.

"Free Finnick!" One girl yells above them all.

"It's unfair!" Yells another.

The peacekeepers calm them down and the cameras swarm me.

"What were you thinking when you attacked Annie and the peacekeepers?"

Attacked Annie?

"Do you think you became mentally unstable when Annie did?"

Mentally unstable?

"Was this caused by the fish in District 4?"

Fish?

I push my way through the cameras. Brushing them all off. I attempt to leave through the front door. We're in the Capitol for some reason. A peacekeeper grabs my arm. I spit on his shoe as he bludgeons my face with a baton.

I steady on the floor, blood dripping from my face as I try to regain my poise.

But now the room is spinning.

"What are you doing to him?"

"You're making him unpretty!"

I feel my body being lifted up and pushed into a limo. I sway my head as the door closes and the noise shuts out. The seats offer relief to my bruised tailbone.

I smell something odd in the car. I assume it's my blood until I see President Snow. Sitting there, smiling.

"I'll rip that smile off your face!" I yell. The car stops, but Snow motions for it to keep moving. "Where's Annie!" My voice is strong but cracks a bit on her name.

"You broke a rule Finnick. A very big one." He tosses me a soft white towel and I hold it tightly on my nose that is gushing out blood.

My breathing gets faster and faster. I slump my head into my lap and begin crying, loudly. I get mad, I am so mad and so depressed.

"You leave Annie alone!" I look at his face, his horrible white puffy face. So hideous, but so intimidating. All the strength leaves my body. I don't look up. I stare at my lap. "Where is she?" I say in a quiet pathetic voice.

"So sad to see a grown man crying. So weak. This is your last warning. The girl is fine... I will always have my fingers on her... and therefore on you. You've been asleep awhile."

I start rubbing my eyes. So it's true. As long as I am alive, Annie is in trouble. Annie is no threat, but I am. They will keep her to get to me.

"Put some clothes on Finnick. Your makeup team will take care of you." He chuckles. "Your looks sure have gone downhill."

The car stops and a door is opened. I take my leave. The bright sun reflecting off of the buildings blinding my eyes. Why is he sending me to the mentor's hotel? Are the Games starting already? It doesn't make sense if I haven't met my tributes.

Noqall runs over to hug me.

"We thought you were dead!" She kisses my cheek. "You look horrible... come on!" I drop the rag and move like a zombie and follow her. She directs me into the hotel and into the makeup room. I watch her mix colors of liquids and smooth them over my skin. Some of them sting and others soothing. I can't help but think of her as a witch from the old stories my mother used to read me – when things weren't so terrible, mixing and brewing potions.

She spins my chair around and I stare into the mirror. I still don't look good. Noqall must see my dissatisfaction because she goes back in and gives my hair a little trim and adds a little more makeup to my face. Sure the scars are invisible. But I can't get over how average I look. How weak.

She helps me out of the chair since my body aches and gets me into the suit. I can hear the mentors laughing from the room over. Noqall gives me a kiss on the cheek, but before she leaves she stops me.

"They lied to us, didn't they Finnick? For 6 months they told us that you and Annie were crazy... first they said it was the fish, so we all stopped buying it, but then they told us it wasn't and you had just fallen down some stairs bumping your heads... but I don't believe it." She darts her eyes around the room and quickly adds, "But it's not my business." And I head out.

My eyes try to adjust to the dim blue lighting. There's the loud electronic music they play in the Capitol. I see all the mentors, laughing, getting along with their lives. I head over to the bar and find a very angry looking Chaff.

"What's wrong?" I ask. He looks up and his face completely changes.

"Finnick you're alive! And Annie?"

I nod, "For all I know." I don't smile I just stare into Chaff's face even though it's near impossible to see at this party. I promised myself I wouldn't cry anymore today. I really have to start pulling myself together. "I can't wait to be back with her. What did I miss while I was out?"

"You spend way too much time in the hospital man... there's a new victor, District 7. Surprised everyone. Mags did a good job in your place. I think she misses being a mentor."

"Well, I can't really give up the job now can I?" I brush him off.

I feel a very drunk and smelly arm around me, pulling Chaff and I together.

"Have a drink!" A very drunk Haymitch spits out.

Chaff eyes him angrily. Haymitch shrugs.

"Not my fault your liver is failing – mine is doing fine! Shots for everyone!" He yells. So that's why Chaff is mad. No drinks. Maybe I should go his route tonight. Don't drink anything, keep a clear mind.

"Hey how's Annie?"

"So are you really crazy?"

"Annie is mad, huh?"

I look at the mentors before me. Seeder, Cashmere and Gloss. I want them to leave me alone. I want everyone to stop talking about it. I grab one of Haymitch's shots I know it will kill the brain cells talking to me in my head... but that's the problem it's a Haymitch geared shot – and he has the infamous 'iron liver'. I apparently do not.

I stumble through the smoky room. I intentionally squeeze a few ladies here and there, giving them flirtatious smiles. I feel like Finnick again. My brain keeps yelling at my hand to stop grabbing these drinks, but I can't seem to stop. I look around the room. Everyone is dancing, or the room is just swirling.

Victor parties always suck. I hate all the people here, except for a select few. I take a few sips of the sour drink letting it tantalize my brain again. I look at the crowd. I don't even know half these people!

"Hey, when..." I hiccup. "When did you become a victor?" I look at the strange tall man. He's really tall with glowing glasses. I try to tap him to get his attention, he's really skinny though and I end up just knocking him over. A loud crash causes people to look over at me.

"Is this guy with anyone?" I laugh. I don't know why... but I find everything to be so hilarious all of a sudden. This girl's hair, that guy's beard... I look at it closer. I keep moving towards it.

"Why are you touching my beard you creep?!" I hear a loud angry man boom. Is that Chaff? I don't know, it's all a mystery to poor little Finnick. I start twirling the long graying hairs in my fingers. It feels like a sheep – no a lamb. What's the difference anyways?

I stumble backwards. Everything is getting so hot all of a sudden. I feel like I am being suffocated and the drink in my hand becomes as hot as a desert. A desert? That's no place for a fish! I drink the rest of the odd mixture. Sweat drips from my brow, it looks blue almost... I can't take it. It's too hot. I hold on to a table and try to rip my shoe off. My hands just can't seem to get a grip though.

I take a second to bend over in laughter. How silly! Finnick can't get his shoes off. Hahaha. I eventually dig with the front of my other foot into the back of my heel causing the shoe to slip off. I don't bother with the other one. I only unbutton my jacket and throw it to the ground. Bye jacket! I wave as it slowly falls to the floor. Slowly slowly.

Then I struggle with my shirt. The buttons turn to barbed wire and it hurts my fingernails to dig into them. I decide to just rip off the shirt. I throw it at some girl's face. Then I give her a big grin. I walk over to her, shirtless.

"You wannahavesomefunorIdunno..." She gives me a weird look and pushes me backwards. I take it this must mean she wants my sugar cubes. I undo the tedious belt and swing it around my head.

"Woohoo!" I look at the girl seductively, I lick my tongue around my entire face. I know she loves it. I take my thumb and rub it down my chiseled abs. She starts to turn away as I let my pants fall. I go up behind her. Giving her a hug and feeling upwards. She has very small breasts for a woman. I give her arms a stroke. "Hey baby... maybeyoushouldshave." She pushes me angrily back. I look back in disgust. "You hairy!" I blurt out.

"Finnick! GO HOME, you're drunk!" Oh, it's Chaff's voice again. He's so tense without a drink! I wander around for a bit. There's lots of cool colors. It's hard to walk, my pants are at my ankles and I can't move very fast. I grab another drink.

"Oooh, this one's GREEN." I spit out. I can hardly stand. I slump my head downs, starting to laugh and then I look up. I just see a blur of a white face and spiky brown hair.

"Sup?" I give them a head nod. Maybe Finny is getting action tonight after all! My eyes start to settle a bit and I can make her out. This time I am positive it is a female.

"I like your boxers." I blink a few times. Oh yea, I took off my pants.

"Thanks, I like your-" I stop. "Um." I hold my head and just kind of turn away from her. I can't think straight. Must have been something in the air. Definitely not this drink though.

"This party sucks huh?" I turn around.

"Suck?" I yell. "You want to suck it?!" I have a huge grin on my face, aw yeah!

She just laughs, and then I watch in confusion as she takes off her shirt to reveal some top notch breasts, if I do of course judge them myself. Then I get even more excited as she removes her pants and lets them hang around her ankles.

"Sweeeet." I hiccup a little more, she holds out her hand.

"Hey, I'm the newest victor, name's Johanna." Johanna. I look at the hand. It reminds me of a squid so I touch each one of her fingers curiously.

"You're nice." I let the last word pull a bit. I hang onto her for balance. "I'm... I'm..." Who was I again? "I'm the King of the Sea." I sit down on the ground and awkwardly fiddle around with my pants pocket, I keep trying to grab them, but the lint gets trapped on my sweaty fingers. But I find it and hold it out to her. "You want..." I take a step back. "You want a sugar cube?" I offer them in my hands.

She takes one.

"Finnick Odair. I've heard stories about you." She is still standing there naked. "I don't like clothes either. I find them restricting."

"Girl, we're going to be good friends." That's all I manage until I turn to my left and puke up the entire night's meals and alcohol. I hear a loud screech. And then some heavy, angry breathing.

"How DARE you!" I just stand in a bit of a daze. "I payed so much for -" And then it keeps coming. It falls down her dress and she startles back. I can hear Johanna laughing as I grab to her for support only finding her large breasts.

"It's fine Odair. Any man who can puke on a girl like that from the Capitol can surely hang on me." I laugh and look up at her, finally seeing her blue eyes.

I don't offer any handshake. Just a high five. "Awesommme..."

"Let's get you home Odair."


	29. Chapter 29

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

My eyes blink a few times. What. The. Hell. Happened.

I try to roll over but groan out as a large invisible force smacks my head and causes it to break into a major migraine. I can hear a girl laughing from the next room.

Who the hell is that? Did I do something with her last night?

I watch a tall and stark woman walks into my room. Naked. She has a sizzling frying pan of eggs. Her spiky brown hair juts out from all over the place.

"Good morning... you sleep a lot." She has a smug look on her face. But she's no Capitol girl.

"Um, forgive me for asking... where are we?"

She takes a moment to laugh and then looks at me. She seems young. "We're still in the Capitol, everyone's heading home tomorrow. All the mentors, but me. I have to stay and do some interviews. You know, typical victor stuff."

"Victor?"

"Uh, yea? I won the 71st Hunger Games? Johanna Mason? Or were you too drugged out slash drunk to remember?"

"I was in the hospital for a while yea?" I close my eyes shut for a long second. "Good god my head hurts." I rub it.

"Mega hangover huh?"

The TV in front of the bed clicks on. I wonder what this is. Johanna throws the eggs on a plate and they sizzle as she hops next to me. She starts chewing.

"That's me!" She points with the fork at the TV in between bites. It's her Hunger Games. She looks so different, the hair is much calmer, she talks much softer... it's like she is pretending to be weak. The complete opposite strategy I had.

Ceaser looks at the little girl, almost rolling his eyes, as the shy 17 year old talks about how scared she is. She scores a 4 on training and everyone has forgotten about her by the time the games begin. She runs from the Cornucopia and there's about an hour of her just hiding and everyone else killing each other until there's only a few left.

The Gamemakers call a feast and I watch, almost in disbelief as she goes with just a small ax. Then I watch in shock as she takes the ax and brutally murders two tributes in seconds. The other runs from her but it only takes her a day to find them and torture them in different ways.

And then Johanna Mason is crowned the victor.

"Incredible." It's my only word to sum up her games. She smiles in satisfaction.

"Well, we're not all incredibly good looking." She winks at me.

"Yea, yea... I've been told that strategy only works for me, But you're not bad looking yourself you know..." I give her a grin. She throws a pillow at my face.

"Not even in your dreams Odair!" She turns away and does a fake huff of annoyance and then turns to me and cocks her head to the side to get a better look at me. "Well you've got to head out I presume. Snow got you making rounds too?"

"Most likely. Welcome to the club."

She snorts and we part ways. This won't be the last time I see Johanna Mason, I think we understand each other.

* * *

**By the way, just going to take a moment here and compliment the movies on their PERFECT portrayal of Johanna, bloody brilliant! xD**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I don't receive any ground breaking secrets this round. Actually I just keep getting fed things I already know. Snow holds everyone like puppets. Don't double cross him.

I look at the older lady lying in her bed staring at me with sex written on her face. We're already done, I am just waiting for my payment. She lights a cigarette and puffs it into my face. That's not attractive, lady...

"I have a good one for you." She laughs, I know she's a bit tipsy. "Snow loves to hold galas for all his friends here... and future partners." She breathes out a long line of the smoke. "Well, one day he decided that they were no longer friends."

I stare at her curiously. "He poisoned all the glasses. My first husband had been there and had left before the toasting to go to the bathroom. He said he saw them all drinking from the glasses, but not Snow. He refused the alcohol and said he was trying to cut back on it. He asked Snow why he wasn't drinking and Snow got this look of anger on his face. So he seemed forced to drink the poison too."

"How did he survive though?" I ask, sucked in to this story. This is it. This is the motherlode. This is how Snow came to power those 25 years ago.

"He took antidotes and medicine Finnick. The poison left burns and damaged the back of his throat. Rumor is you can still smell the blood. But he tries to cover it with perfume."

My eyes grow wide. It's true, and the last bit proves that. Every time I talk to Snow I smell that blood, I know I do. My fingers tap with impatience. I want to tell the world right now. But there would be no point, Snow would kill Annie and I before we got the news out. I have to wait for Haymitch's okay.

"And then of course my first husband was killed... and then I married Gerorge, but he wasn't good enough for me, so I had him killed myself. And then I married my third husband who I married again after my forth husband, but my seventh husband was so jealous of him..."

"Yea, thanks. Bye."

She continues to talk as I leave the room. I know she was the last appointment. I have the day free, and normally I would use it to see Bex, but I really want to get home and see Annie. I know Mags is taking care of her.


	31. Chapter 31

**Transistion! )**

* * *

I watch the wilderness pass by. I look at some of the Districts when the train stops. I can't help but look in distaste at District 2. It's hideous, and covered with Peacekeepers, I think I heard they even specialize in Peacekeepers. There's a large rocky mountain jutting up above the District. It just screams hopelessness.

We finally arrive in Disctrict 4 and I depart. The sky is gray, and not sunny like it normally is. I walk through the town, it's a fishing day so only the women and children and running around. I pass by Grandma C's old fishing supplies store. It's abandoned. The economy has gone down lately as well. People in the Capitol think the fish is bad because of me, and we haven't had a victor lately to pick ourselves up.

I look at the City Hall, even it looks a little gray today. Now District 4 is emulating hopelessness. I head to the hospital wing only to hear that Annie has been discharged and sent to Mags's. This relieves me, the women look at me oddly. Not with lust, but with confusion and pity.

I knock on the door and Mags smiles and lets me in. I see Annie sitting on the couch swaying side to side, humming a song. I wrap my arms around her.

"I missed you."

Her eyes look at me for a minute and then she goes back to humming until the song is finished.

"You've been with the Capitol girls... I know." She doesn't smile or give off any emotion. It hurts my heart. I can't tell if she's understanding of my commitments or mad at me.

"Yes, but I'm here for you Annie, we're going to get you better." I hold her hands. She looks at me and her eyes dart frantically as she gives off a mechanical laugh. I laugh with her.

Mags explains later that Annie has someone that comes every few days to talk to her. This makes me feel a bit better knowing she's getting help, and she doesn't know anything too important about my second life that I am not worried for her safety. I thank Mags with a kiss and hold her closely.

It's funny how close all the victors are to each other. Mags is like my mother, or, she's old enough to be my grandmother too. Haymitch and Chaff are like fathers to me, with little salty attitudes. And Johanna is like my sister... and Cashmere is that weird cousin... and going through the rest of my odd victor family it just sounds horrible. We all have addictions, and random outbursts... yep, it's the perfect family for the broken.


	32. Chapter 32

**Not going to lie, this chapter and the next couple are a bit of recap of the first book - but from Finnick's perspective... still important to include. :)**

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

Over the next two years things get better. Annie still seems trapped in her mind, but I keep her close. I never once dare to double cross Snow again. I do my rounds. Johanna joins Haymitch and Chaff's drinking circle and we all become closer. Every time though, Chaff seems more and more angry at Snow. He gave up his sobriety pact within a few weeks. District 4 has yet to have another winner.

I look at the two kids before me as we head into the Capitol for the 74th Hunger Games. The girl has straight brown hair, she's 16 I think. She bursts into tears every few minutes and I try to console her but it's pointless, I'm not in the mood today.

I offer her a sugar cube and she takes it and sucks on it quietly. I look at the 12 year old boy, with the curly hair... his eyes look up to me with fear. He refuses my sugar cube and just sits with his knees up to his chin.

We are all aware that they will die. They don't even feign excitement for Thomps with all of the Capitol splendor. They merely stare with a blank look of dread. They don't even ask me for tips or ideas. A strategy is pointless.

Even Noqall doesn't bother with them, they wear boring wave outfits at the parade and receive lackluster support. I just sigh hopelessly, waiting for the moment I am relieved and get to go home to Annie. I watch the recap of the reaping. District 1 and 2, volunteers and Careers like usual. In my district people barely even clap. I can feel their tiredness of the games. Everyone is fed up now.

But then there was something unique. I watch closely as Haymitch falls drunk on the stage, laughing a bit. I see that Effie has gotten her job. I am saddened by that a bit, knowing that she was forced by her insecurities to have plastic plastered onto her face. She is a little new to the microphone but her voice booms out for a little girl. Another 12 year old, I know Chaff had one this year too.

I take a deep breath as she heads on to stage, recalling my first memories and then something extraordinary happens. An older girl around 16 jumps from the crowd and cries out for her sister. The pain is so clear in her voice. She volunteers. She volunteers for death in place of her sister. It's heart wrenching as the little girl is taken away crying and the older girl heads on stage. She looks dazed but strong.

"Katniss Everdeen." Part of me feels I will never forget that name. The other part thinks that anyone from a District like hers is for sure signing up for death. Then a confused boy is reaped. It could be an interesting year.

I don't talk much with the kids as they get their training scores... a four and a five. They make no impression for Ceaser either. But Chaff and Haymitch, theirs are surprising! Chaff's strong boy receives a 10 and the girl who is very young gets a 7. Then Haymitch's boy gets an 8, which isn't bad... and Katniss, gets an 11. My mouth almost drops a bit. Incredible.

And at the interviews they caught my eye as well, in fact, everyone is watching 'The Girl on Fire'. Haymitch is playing them off as a team and after the interview I can tell why, the boy loves her. I don't think she feels the same way though.

On the day I heartlessly say goodbye to my tributes I go to see Haymitch. His eyes look different.

"No drinks lately?" I ask, pulling up a chair. He grins at me.

"I think this is it."

My eyes grow wide. "You mean, one of them..." I can't say it aloud but when Haymitch says this is it, that means the time for revolution is near. Actually, I understand. Everything both of those kids have done so far scream revolution. If people in District 4 are talking, I can only imagine what it must be like in District 11 and 12.

Haymitch sees my smile and pulls me into a hug. A very rare thing from Haymitch.

I understand why he hasn't been drinking. He's going to try and keep them alive. And I know which one too, the girl. Even I could tell the moment I saw her she was coming back. And it must be true, hadn't people done the same when they first saw me. Didn't they know I looked like a victor?

I head into the TV room. I told my tributes not to head for the Cornucopia, but Curly, I nicknamed him that and the girl, I named her that too since I could never remember her name, were busy weeping and staring awkwardly at the ground while I told them so. I sigh as I throw my feet on the table and swivel in my chair. I turn and see Cashmere looking at me.

"No alliance this year?" I joke.

She laughs, "No just me and Ebonaria... I just adore the little girl from my district."

I laugh, "Well, she looks like you."

"Exactly, I bet if they could get a boy who looked like you, you'd be jumping around." She sits. "They've both been trained like my brother and I. No need to teach them anything."

"Lucky you. And Ebonaria?"

"Good ones, the boy volunteered. 18, ready to go. The girl is just nasty with the knives too."

"What did you think about 12 this year?"

She closes her eyes to think for a moment. "An 11... and she volunteered. It's interesting I guess."

"That's what everyone is saying." We hear the countdown above. "Well, doubt I'll see you later, since you'll still be here... I know my kids aren't going to do it."

She pats my shoulder, "Always next year." I wonder though. That gleam in Haymitch's eye... what if there isn't a next year?

My mind excitedly jumps to a picturesque future. Annie and I holding hands, a beautiful gown gently caressing her body. And me holding her hand while she gives birth to our son. I know it's silly to dream of now. But I pray Haymitch can make it happen. I've already promised all my help and skills to the cause.

My happy thoughts are interrupted by cannons. I shake my head as Curly runs right into the Cornucopia and tries to hide. Chaff's boy, Thresh, takes right off... no one follows him. Peeta, the boy from Haymitch, heads right into the woods. My girl tries to run, but is hit in the back by District 2's girl, Clove. The knife pierces right through her.

Curly is still crawling around in the madness of the bloodbath. I cringe as he stands up to leave and a sword slashes through his chest. Seperating his legs from his torso. His eyes are still.

Cato, the volunteer from two and the other Careers gather as it finishes. I hadn't even noticed the girl from 12 take off after grabbing a bag.

Both my tribute screens are blank, and usually here is the point where Haymitch and Chaff would come into my room with the booze. But not this time. Both of them still have their tributes. I wander around my room only to see that Peeta is lying to the Careers as they come upon him that he can help them find Katniss. Interesting strategy, since even I can see he really does love her.

Katniss continues to hide in the trees and look for water. Thresh continues to stay in the field. And nothing exciting is happening. I can feel the Gamemakers itching right now. They'll want action. I head out and find Bex siting in a long gown with the sponsors.

"Well don't you look fancy?" I eye her curiously. She's decked in diamonds and jewels and a very old but classy corset dress. She still keeps her old charm though, the bow and glasses stick out like usual.

"I have money now Finn. Big money." Her eyes light up as she smiles. She talks in a funny accent, trying to mimic the overdramatic ones of some of the people around us right now. She extravagantly takes a sip from her wine, making sure her pinky is pointed. Then she rolls her eyes.

"And why all of a sudden are things looking so highly for you now?"

"Duty calls, and well, I think I'm allowed to have my own secrets now aren't I Finny?" She flashes a diamond bracelet and smiles.

"Wonderful." I smile.

She looks away for a minute and her eyes glaze over a bit, "we both certainty have come a long way huh? From kids to adults. The things we have seen." She brushes my hair. "How's Annie?"

"Alright. She's been getting better, but the attacks still come to her. Sometimes she is fine and all happy, other times she wants to end her life. Maybe I should let her. But I couldn't do that." I look at Bex's pained face. "All the victors go through hell after they win. Winning is a joke."

"Keep your head up Finn, things are changing. Eight Finnick... eight."

I look at her. What does this girl mean? Ever! How could she possibly know anything about 'times changing'? There must be other people other than victors and the Districts... but a Capitol Girl, I doubt she could be involved. But she knows so much about everything...

"Finnick, if you don't mind, I have to get back to my rounds... You know who I'm betting on?"

"The Girl on Fire?" She gives me a sly grin and heads out. I think that was her way of telling me she's on my side and knows it. But how? She's always been sneaky.


	33. Chapter 33

**Hunger Games are not mine!**

* * *

I look up at the screen. The Gamemakers are toying with Katniss as she runs from the fire of the forest. I cringe a bit as she gets hit in the leg. I walk over to Haymitch's room, his eyes are strained on the TV. I notice he hasn't gotten any sleep. There are wrappers and half-drunk bottles of juice lying all over the room. He always could make a mess where ever he went...

"I can't do it Chaff... It's over. I hope she can figure it out herself because I sure as hell can't. They led her right to the careers." He slams down his head-phones. And turns to see me, his face doesn't change. "I thought you were Chaff."

"Sorry to disappoint. She's smart."

"How would you know, you haven't met her."

"Nope, but I've been in those games, victors think alike." I watch the screen as Peeta worriedly and sheepishly follows the Careers to a tree Katniss is climbing. Cato tries to scale up but falls.

Peeta intervenes and says to wait her out. For a moment everyone is suspicious. I wonder if Cato will buy it. They seem convinced though and they head to sleep and light a fire. I get distracted as Chaff walks in. He shakes his head, we can all see Katniss is in pain up in the tree. She keeps clenching her leg and looking towards the camera for Haymitch.

"I don't understand why they just don't light the tree on fire. I mean that would get her to the ground or kill her," Haymitch and Chaff shoot me looks. I back away shrugging my shoulders. "Just saying! If I were in the games, that's what I would do." I grin, "I guess we're lucky Ebonaria and Cashmere aren't so smart huh?" They don't smile.

"I don't have the support yet." He says turning to Chaff.

"But people love her." I protest. I've heard them.

"Not enough for two million dollars." He shakes his head. I take off my shirt. It's not allowed, to support other tributes, but how will Snow know if I tell the Sponsors to throw their support behind Katniss?

Chaff gives me a saddened look, "Finnick. I know how hurt you are when you do that stuff. Maybe, Haymitch can get it himself."

"We need her as a spark. It hurts me, and kills Annie... but in the end we will be happier then ever when the fire lights. And she's the girl." I don't even blink as I stand before them. "I have all my support behind her."

Haymitch stops Chaff from protesting anymore. "This isn't even about the spark or revolution... it's just about Annie, and trying to make it up to her isn't it?" He smiles a bit. "Thank you Odair. Your happiness will come."

I nod and head out. That night it doesn't even hurt. Because Haymitch is right. I am doing it for Annie. In hope that this Girl on Fire can throw the Capitol, and that Annie and I can live happily in peace. Or at least just Annie.

Apparently I had convinced enough people in between closet-shovings, and bathroom-meetings, because I watch the little tin land in her lap. She looks gratefully at the camera for Haymitch and I smile. I know he did his part too.

Chaff comes into my room, chewing on something. I notice his young tribute has taken to Katniss. He smiles at me.

"We've all been there haven't we? Harboring a hopeless case?"

"Naw, that's just you and Hammy... not me. Makes you out to be a martyr when you don't die the way they want. When you die for a cause."

I watch the little girl, Rue, point out the tracker jacker nest. I shudder at the hideous look of the creatures. So does Chaff.

"She's a smart girl." Chaff nods. I watch as Katniss saws down the branch of the tree and cringes as the bees sting her in various places. Eventually it cuts and falls to the ground. Chaff's girl found a safe place, but it looks like Cashmere's girl and another kid who I don't remember are in trouble. Cato and Clove get up and run off. I watch Glimmer, the gorgeous girl, who looked just like Cashmere fail to shake them and has her image distorted. The bees swell her features and ruin her pristine face. She falls and Katniss, in a dazed state tries to break the bow and arrow from her grip.

Cato pins Peeta to a tree and shoves his sword into Peeta's leg. He is yelling loudly that Peeta had tried to help her all along. Clove is badly injured and Cato tries to nurse her a bit while Peeta makes a break for it. He takes Cato with him and tries to get Katniss to move. I watch Chaff's girl show amazing strength and lift Katniss to a secluded area as Peeta chases Cato away.

For the next few days I quietly watch the games as we all watch Rue nurse Katniss in and out of health. I am silent through most of it. It gets a bit boring, but Cato has been on a killing rage. He has quite the temper. So the gamemakers are satisfied.

I take the free time and leave Chaff and Haymitch to themselves. Cashmere is busy with Marvel, her last boy. I run into Johanna in the hall.

"Hey!" She smiles. I give her a half-hearted shrug and we sit together in a little side room. She orders some drinks. She lifts her leg over the other and sits there, staring at me. And out of no where tears start falling from her eyes and she finds her way into my arms.

I stroke her hair, "What's wrong?" For someone who seems so strong, she breaks so easily.

"I said no Finnick," She takes a deep breath and goes into a fit of sobs. She tries to calm herself. "I said no, and Snow... he... my family." I understand immediately what she means. It hits me hard, all of my memories of those I've lost to my selfish ideas. I hold her that much closer.

"I know, I know." I whisper into her spiky brown hair. I feel so much older. Or at least a lot older then 23. I've played this game... I've played it for 10 years almost now. She looks up at my face. It looks like the innocent one she put on for Ceaser, before she turned deadly. She is so vulnerable.

"You're the only person I have left."

I take a deep breath and take her in closer. "And you're not ever losing me Jo."


	34. Chapter 34

** Hunger Games is not mine, enjoy!**

* * *

She laughs a bit, but her face turns angry when she looks at the doorway. It's a smiling Ebonaria.

"Aw, how cute..." She hisses in a sassy way. "Crying... because you lost your tributes."

"How dare you!" I stand up, anger filling me up. I immediately check myself and I laugh, "you don't know anything Ebonaria... sometimes it's more then just the Games you know."

Johanna's face now shows no signs of ever being vulnerable. "Get out of here doggy."

Ebonaria bites widely at us and maniacally laughs and walks away. I hold Johanna's shoulder but she pushes away and out of the room. That was enough weakness for her for one day.

It gets me thinking. How little family she must have had. I suppose I didn't have much either... but it proves another point. Snow is getting anxious. It took him a while to get fed up with me. He's tired of being said no to, tired of having resistance. I wonder what's going on in the districts?

I walk out of the room and pick up a phone. I know he will be listening to my every word, but I just want to hear Annie's voice.

I hear Mags's gargled voice and grin a bit. She hands the phone to Annie.

"Hi?" Her voice is so sweet to my ears.

"Hi darling, it's Finnick."

I can feel her cheeks lighting up. "Oh Finnick! How are things there! Things are great here! People keep telling me what's real and not real, it's like we're playing a game. Like, if I say... are those little dancing elves real, people say no. But if I say, is that flower real they say yes! It's a fun game, can we play it sometime Finn? Pretty please!"

My whole chest fills with joy. She sounds so much better. "Of course. I don't have much time, but I want you to know I love you."

I hear her take a step from the phone and whisper, "I love you too." And giggle to herself. What I would give to be with her right now. With her in my arms. Safe. I hang up the phone and find my way back to my room.

I am a little confused when I see a huge explosion at the Cornucopia. Katniss has a pained face again and runs away as Cato and Clove return. Marvel throws a net at Rue and pretends to run away, but really stays hidden.

Katniss does a whistle to the Mockingjays. Bex pointed out earlier that her pin token is a mockingjay, I didn't think it mattered. She runs through the woods and looks for the little girl, but everyone knows she's heading for a trap.

She finds her in the tangled net. And I step back from the TV. I hold my head a bit, suppressing the memories of me throwing net just like that.

Of me killing those children the next minute. I blink a few times and find myself back in the present. Katniss embraces the little girl and ducks as Marvel pops out and tosses his spear. It misses her, but it hits the girl and before Katniss even notices her arrow flies into Marvels throat.

Right on cue a chair goes flying out of Cashmere's room. And then, in a moment of peace, Katniss holds the girl and sings to her. Beautifully. I've never heard a more gentler voice, besides maybe Annie's. She sings the girl to sleep and then decorates her in various flowers. Making her look beautiful, and innocent. But not like a mermaid, more like an angel.

My eyes get a little wet, only a little, as Katniss wails in pain off to the side. Distraught by her friend's death. It reminds me so much of myself. Instead it inspired a killing spree in me, it seems to only inspire vengeance in Katniss.

I watch Haymitch march out of his room. I decide to follow him.

"Haymitch!" I call out trying to catch up to him.

He waves me off and I wait as he storms into the gamemakers' room. I just wait for him to exit. It takes a while, and I hear him shout a bit. I watch the TV as Seneca Crane, the head gamemaker this year, announces to the tributes that there can now be two winners if they're from the same district. I crease my eyebrows in disbelief. He's giving the kids false hope.

They show Katniss scream for Peeta and giddily hold her mouth shut. I doubt she would want to see him, we all know he's all chopped up by the lake. But I understand Haymitch, it will give her the strength to keep fighting. Then they show Clove and Cato with evil grins on their face. But they seem happy.

Haymitch comes out, victorious, and I stop him.

"You're giving them false hope." I plead.

"She's the one, I don't care what happens, she has to win. Her holding that girl has struck sadness in the Capitol's heart but outrage in you know where. The boy doesn't have much longer with that leg anyways."

"So, you're just going to let him die? What happens if it does boil down to both of them winning?"

He rolls his eyes. "It won't Finnick. I'm just selling the star-crossed lovers and trying to..." he looks around. "You know."

"But they aren't star-crossed... I'm pretty sure everyone can see they don't love each other."

He rolls his eyes again, he gets so short when he's sober. "She'll figure out what she has to do."

I shrug my shoulders and continue to watch the TV as Ceaser interviews the families from the top 8. They always do. They didn't have anyone really to interview for me. They made up friends, from girls who claimed they knew me. Grandma C said some nice things, but that's all I remember.

They show Cato's family. He has three younger brothers and a lonesome looking mother. The mother explains that he insisted on going into the Hunger Games to win fame and glory for the family. Even when he was little. Of course, he was also a Career, trained for the games illegally, but it gives him a reason at least.

Clove has no such reason. She is a single child with a father who overlooks everything to do with Peacekeeper infiltrations. Her mother explains how she has given her daughter everything she could have wanted. So she's spoiled to say in the least. They make a point to say the kids don't have friends, but that Cato and Clove are 'friends' themselves.

I dreamily watch the others but pay attention when the show Thresh. There's an old dark woman talking about how much she loves her boy. How when he was little he had a heart of gold. Then they show his mother, who is a bit teary-eyed. She tries to stay calm, but ends up crying that 'he's all she has' and they quickly cut away from her.

They go to District 12, where they introduce Peeta's brothers and parents. They seem like a normal family. All bakers. The mother has her arms folded the whole time. She looks angrily at the camera. The father talks about how much his son loves Katniss and the mother rolls her eyes. I don't like her.

Then they show Katniss's mother. She's a bit dazed but talks about her daughter positively. How Katniss, 'always did her own thing.' Her sister talks happily about how Katniss will for sure win. Then they show her cousin Gale, who reluctantly tells them that he thinks she has good odds.

They switch back over to the games and Katniss is awkwardly kissing Peeta.

"They need a lesson from you huh? How to fake kissing?" I look down on the bow. I hadn't even seen her till now. I shake my head with a smile.

"How are things?"

"Great! Eleven and eight Finnick. It's happening." Once again I have no idea what she means.

"They're afraid Katniss might turn into a martyr or something. Doubt it, but she doesn't understand how much power she has. They're so cute together... everyone else here is buying it."

"Really? I don-"

"Gotta go!" She kisses me and bounces off. I raise my eyebrows at her busy schedule lately. I assume there are just lots of new trends to report on. Captiol Girls.


	35. Chapter 35

**Kinkiness - damn you Cashmere! ) Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I head back to my room just as they announce the Feast. An item they all need. Ceaser goes on to show what is in the bags. Cato and Clove would receive food since they are unable to feed themselves after Katniss blew up the food supplies. Thresh would get a body armor, to protect him from Katniss and Cato. And Foxface would receive a special sleeping bag to keep her warm. Of course, Katniss and Peeta get the mediciene for Peeta's leg.

I decide to talk to Haymitch again.

"If she gets that medicine, Peeta and her can win. You don't have a spark if she's stuck in crazy world out of guilt for having killed him! Because you know he will volunteer to be killed for her."

Haymitch turns and looks at me, his eyes are very strained, "Get out Finnick. I have to think."

He has never brushed me off like that. I shake my head, he's being so cruel to those kids. I head back out and watch Haymitch send Katniss sleeping syrup to keep Peeta asleep. Naturally he doesn't want her to go. He really does love her. It's never been questioned.

I hear whines from the Sponsor room as Katniss heads off, leaving a dying and sleeping Peeta behind. I feel so bored. Usually I'd either be home, or partying with Haymitch and Chaff. But they're both busy, and it's still not time to take down the Capitol. I am just stuck in a weird time.

I suppose I can give into my Capitol side, and sit and drink wines with other people and comment on these blood games. But I'd rather not. I see Cashmere moping around. She sees me and lights up.

"You bored too? I'm waiting for Ebonaria, but she still has both of her kids." Cashmere licks her lips a bit. It interests me. She pushes her hand through her hair in a very provocative manner.

I clench my jaw a bit, "Yea, I'd like to be home with Annie... but I am waiting for Chaff and Haymitch." Cashmere deliberately pushes her large breasts against the tightly bound shirt and pops open a button, letting her breasts spill out. My breathing gets faster. I can feel a bit of sweat trickle on the back of my neck. You can't say she isn't gorgeous.

She looks up at me from those crystal eyes, "Annie hmm...? I could keep you," she steps in closer and whispers in my ear, "company." She purrs a bit. I step back, distancing myself.

"No, I can't Cash..." My tongue starts twisting itself. Half my mind continues to lust after the dirty memories and times we've had before. But the other part pictures innocent Annie at home, waiting for me and only me.

"It's not your fault Finnick. The Capitol has made people like you and me sex addicts." She squeezes my bicep. "They've made us grow accustomed to always being pleasured." She gives out a moan, "and I need to be pleasured." She growls at me as she pulls me into a bathroom.

It's an interesting bathroom. One that includes showers and toilets, but for both sexes. Cashmere throws me into one of the stalls. I quickly rip off my shirt. As she frisks my body. Planting kisses along my golden skin. I pull at her hair as things begin pumping faster and faster in my system.

She grabs a potted plant sitting on top of the porcelain bowl and throws it at the ground, shattering bits of glass around our naked bodies. She grabs a piece and runs it along her navel, cutting fresh blood into her pure white skin. She licks the bloody piece of glass. You can tell she was a career.

I wrap my body around hers as I slam her into the door. She screams out in pain and I continue to thrust her violently into a pulp. Her breathing causes her breasts to heave up and down. She scratches my back in agony and I feel the blood trickle down. It hurts, and it stings.

I angrily rip her hair and shove her head down into my crotch as I grab onto the wall in front of me and prepare myself. I feel her warm mouth wrap around my engorged cock. It feels so good. She knows where she's at too. My eyes roll back as delight trickles through my body. I hear the soft sucking noises being made by her mouth and then she pauses. I hear a click on the stall door.

Johanna is standing there. Her eyes are a little red. And her cheeks begin to flush. Cashmere brushes her off but Johanna just stares at me. I feel dirty. Disgusting even. She knows how much I love Annie. And what am I doing? I open my mouth to explain but find on her lips on mine.

And we keep going. Her tongue wrestles mine in a steamy way as Johanna removes her top. Cashmere continues to do her thing as my entire body gets the full treatment. I hold Johanna steadily as I reach the top level of my excitement. I feel everything in my body about to burst. Cashmere comes back to me just in time and leans her body against mine and starts kissing again as my frothy white liquid doses Johanna's clothes on the ground.

All three of us are now groaning now. All three sex slaves, enjoying each other's company. I can't even count how long we continue. We all hear a shot of the cannon and decide that we've all suppressed enough urges for now. The girls leave, as Cashmere offers an undershirt to Johanna since hers is ruined. Johanna refuses and walks out without a top. I decide to stay.

I make my way over to the showers and turn the water on the coldest setting there is. It trickles over my body and freezes. I give in and turn the water to a steamy temperature. Washing my body clean of everything. I try to wash my mouth and get rid of the lips from other girls that aren't Annie. The hands of those that aren't Annie. But I can't even begin to wash over the area below, because Annie is definitely not there.

I slide my back down, watching the water drown into the drain. I pull my knees towards my chest and push my head in between them. I take a few breaths, I can't tell if it's the water or if I am actually crying but I feel low. I am not the victim this time. I am the person who caused this. My head shifts a little and I begin to think as I watch the steam fill the proximity of the room.

Cashmere was right. I am an addict. I am. And Snow turned me into one. It's not just him, I let him. It felt so good when I started. Then it started to hurt Annie, even if she had no clear idea, I know it hurt her. And now it just hurts me too. I feel my body. It aches and my penis is swollen as if it is pleading with me for air. I notice the little red dots around it. I'm surprised Cashmere put her mouth on it. I guess it's still a big deal to say you sucked Finnick regardless of what it looked like.

I even kissed my best friend. I slam my head to the back of the wall. Now we will never overcome that. Sex has done nothing for me. I don't like it. I swear through the steamy air I see Annie walking towards me, but it's no one. I remember that night. It didn't even feel like sex with her and I. It was just love.

I pick myself up and redress. I notice my shirt has white sticky liquid plastered to it as well so I leave it there and head out. The cool air from outside sweeps over my bare chest. It's cold.


	36. Chapter 36

**More than half way through the story! Hunger Games is not mine.**

* * *

I look at the TV. Cato and Thresh are fighting in the meadow. Ceaser has just come back from commercial and explains, "For those of you just joining us, Katniss Everdeen was saved by Tresh as he killed Clove with a rock. Later, our sneaky tribute from District 5 stole some of Peeta's berries, which turned out to be nightlock! We're down to the final three. In a minute of carelessness Thresh grabbed Cato's pack and his own and ran into the meadow and -" Ceaser stops as Cato rips his sword out of Thresh's throat. Causing the blood to spew violently on Cato's face. Cato reaches down and retrieves his pack of food. A fresh steak, very generously seasoned, from the gamemakers. He smells it and licks it graciously. His eyes look bloodlust and he takes Thresh's bag to reveal a set of armor. Cato happily puts it on his body. He grabs the meat and leaves the scene, chewing on it like an animal, he throws his sword in the air and catches it right before a ginormous Dog-Mutt appears and slices his face. Cato takes off.

Ceaser is giddy with excitement, trying to control himself as he joyously narrates the finale. The dogs appear and begin to pursue Katniss and Peeta. I watch as Katniss selfishly ignores Peeta tripping on his bad leg. She goes back to help him, but she's pretty bad with this whole 'love thing'. Cato scales to the top of the Cornucopia and Katniss and Peeta soon follow. There is an hour or so of tackling and punching, but it boils down to Katniss with a ready arrow and Cato holding Peeta in a deadlock position.

A wave of light appears over Cato's eyes. Just like Ox, when I was in my games, he is finally understanding the point of being a career. I see the sign of hopelessness as Peeta makes an 'x' with his fingers over Cato's hand. Katniss shoots without remorse as Cato falls to the Mutts below. They tear at his skin and it makes my stomach sick. Katniss and Peeta are lucky they don't have to watch. They stay together and hold each other. Listening to the screams of Cato. Those screams will haunt them forever.

Ebonaria walks past me and spits on my shoes. I shoot her a look. Johanna joins me and leans her head on me as we watch Cato get torn limb from limb. He stops screaming and starts sobbing, it's pathetic. The Mutts are keeping him alive. They want a tribute to make the final move.

I watch Haymitch and Chaff come out and stand by Johanna and I. We all just watch. The boy makes my stomach churn. All of his features are missing and instead are replaced with bloodily torn flesh. Katniss looks down and ends it for him. Out of pity.

The sky parts and Johanna looks up. We all do. Two tributes remain, both from one District. Let's see if Seneca Crane keeps his promise.

"There we be a revoking of the previous rule change that stated there can be two winners if they are from the same district. There can be only one winner." Right on cue. Peeta steps, ready to be shot. Katniss throws down the bow in a fit of anger. She holds out her hand with the berries. I look at Chaff.

"Those are the berries that the tribute from District 5 ate by accident. They were saving them for Cato. Pretty poisonous."

Haymitch walks away. The whole room is silent. Everywhere it is silent. It's so quiet I wonder if I can hear the waves from District 4 all the way from here.

They both take the berries. There's something in each of their eyes. For Peeta there is a spark of love. He is like me and Annie. I would do anything for her. He loves Katniss. But for Katniss, her eyes read revolution. And now I understand why Haymitch was so ready to support her. She is going to spark something, regardless if she knows it or not.

They begin to bring the berries to their lips and they slowly touch as Seneca breaks the tension.

I can hear a few sobs from the Sponsor room.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the victors of the 74th annual Hunger Games, Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen from District 12!" My heart stops for a minute. Two victors. Chaff shakes his head. We all know what it means. The Capitol looks bad now. Really bad. They gave in to someone else. Snow's head is probably turning.

"Everyone knows Peeta did it for love, but Katniss? She did that to spite the Capitol." Chaff continues to shake his head as he walks away.

Johanna just stares at me. I look at her, "It will be an interesting year." She nods.

But I smile. All the way home I smile. Bex deemed her a Mockingjay and the name sticks. A creature who survived against the odds – that would be one Miss Everdeen. I run to Annie and swing her in my arms.

"We have a Mockingjay." I whisper happily in her ears. She has no idea what I mean but she smiles happily for me. I shower her in kisses and we fall onto the grassy garden around Mags's house. I stroke her hair and hold her tight. Then my eyes light up.


	37. Chapter 37

**A little Finnick/Peeta bonding. Hunger Games do not belong to me!**

* * *

The image before me. A woman, so pure. So perfect, that darkness at its worse has only just cracked her. I look at Annie's long brown hair, twisting and curling like it hasn't been brushed in ages. Her lighter skin. I know she hasn't been out much. But those green eyes, those gorgeous sea green eyes. No one, nothing, could ever destroy such beauty as those.

I hold her closely and dip into a long kiss. I reach in my pocket. I grab something I hadn't even meant to buy at the train station. Funny you can even buy something like it at a train station, but that's the Capitol. I stand her up and hold her hand as I kneel on the ground.

I see Mags out the corner of my eye and smile uncontrollably. A few tears dampen my face as the wind brushes past us.

"Annie Cresta. Will you please be my wife?" I ask, holding out the extravagant diamond ring. Annie's face grows flush and tears fall from her eyes. She nervously laughs and puts it on her finger. She is sobbing uncontrollably and I take her in my arms and swing her around again.

"I love you Finnick!" She yells happily.

"I love you Annie!" I repeat loudly. We continue to laugh as I lead her inside.

Over the next few weeks I help Annie look in the magazine for things she likes. What sort of cake we should have, what sort of dress she wants. I hold her close, taking her hand in mine like I always do. I walk with her to our spot on the beach and sit with her as she asks silly questions.

"Is there a drunk man out there?" She points over the water. I shake my head.

"Not real." I say, pretending to squint just to amuse her. She gives a confused look and tries to shake if from her head.

"This diamond," she smiles, "real or not real."

I laugh and look deep into her eyes. "Real. Only the best for my little Annie."

She snuggles into me. She's gotten so much better. We start walking back when I notice all the cameras set up around. Victory Tour already?

I take Annie home and question Mags. I know I have to go, but I want Annie with Mags for the night. I can picture Haymitch yelling for me to teach these kids something about fake feelings. I put on a black jacket and tie my deep green tie. Annie blushes when she sees me walk by.

I hear her start humming "Here Comes the Bride."

I head to the City Hall. I noticed that Katniss and Peeta had to read from that preapproved card. I laugh in my head. I remember my tour.

I see them deep in the hall, dancing. I heard people yelling Katniss's name earlier. But in a harsh way. I've told Haymitch the people in Four seem fed up. Everyone laughs at us, by everyone I mean Haymitch, Johanna and Chaff, but they think it's ridiculous that this island paradise can be upset. But we are.

I run into a fluffy pink wig and am splashed with powdered smoke. It's Effie. I smile and give her a clap on the back.

"Finally got yourself a winner?"

She smiles happily, "Oh Finnick," she runs her carefully polished nail along my chest. "I wish I could stay and chat, but I simply must go and make sure Katniss and Peeta are following the time table!" She trots along and I roll my eyes. Oh Effie.

I find Haymitch, and to my delight he is drinking again. He smiles at me. "So you talked to them, the kiddies. They know what's at stake?"

"No," He shakes his head, "But they know what love has to look like." He takes a swig, "you might want to teach the boy a thing or too, to make it easier for our Fire Starter."

I nod and pat him on the back. "It's good to see you old man."

He grimaces, "I'm not that old!" I laugh and head away. I pick up food here and there, indulging in what the Capitol can offer. I ignore the family of the deceased. It upsets me. I see my target and grab a cube of sugar off a serving platter. I throw my arm around the silvery suited man. His blue eyes are thrown back in surprise and I whisk him away. Looking like we're good friends all the way. I take him to the side hallway.

"Want a sugar cube?" I offer him one, waiting for him to accept. It's been my thing now so I don't invade people's privacy. He takes one and starts sucking on it. I smile widely.

"Do I know you?" Peeta asks.

"Of course, you do – I am Finnick Odair, the most famous man in Panem!" I give him a wink, as if I am playing for the cameras.

His eyes grow wide and he laughs, "Yea! I know you! You're the guy who always has a girl, but you never stick around for long."

I nod cockily, like old times. I switch faces to a more serious one.

"Katniss isn't really up to your level yet?"

"Oh you know Katniss-"

"Quiet!" I put my finger in front of his mouth, "I am teaching." He steps back a bit, but he is fully immersed. "Alright." I lean into him, close to his ear. "Right now it looks like I am telling you a secret juicy love detail... but I'm not. Tell Katniss a joke or something when you do this. Loosen that girl up." I pull back and hold his arms out and lean towards his mouth, but just before the lips touch I pull away. His eyes are wide.

"Um..." Peeta begins to protest. I hold my finger to his lips.

"Now it looks like I'm trying to stop you from looking for more." I wrap my arm around him and pull him into my shoulder while I show him the halls. I point out certain things, and he tries to copy the facial expressions I give. I lean in a bit and whisper another 'secret' and he laughs. "Very good." I say in approval. He learns easily.

I playfully push him into a room and pretend to look around worriedly. I tightly lock the door taking in one last scan of the outside room.

"And that's how you make people think you're going into a steamy makeout session." I look at his admiring face. "Any questions?"

"What are some good pick up lines? I want to make Katniss laugh."

"Hmm," I think for a moment. For something unbelievably cheesy. "PanEM? Why not PanME?" I present it in a sexual manner. He laughs a bit. "I volunteer! ... To be your date tonight," I purr it as Peeta looks at me with delight. "One more. This one is especially for you – Wanna touch my loaves? They're fresh out of the oven." Peeta loves it. This kid is pretty funny himself. "Any more questions about faking it from Master Finnick?"

"But it's not really all about faking it. I really love her." He stands up proudly. "And I know deep down she loves me too... but how do I get her to see it? I mean I watched her since she was a little girl."

"Well, why don't you stop right there, that's a little creepy. Do you know what she likes?"

"Dead animals, arrows, um, and that's about it." I look at Peeta strangely. What an interesting girl.

"Well, that won't do. Why don't you give her something from your heart?" I think for a minute and then casually add, " I have a girl I like and I always try to give her something special. Like a rope necklace, or some shell jewelry that I made. I'm sure you can make something."

"Naw, Katniss hates bread."

I pout my lip a bit, trying to think. "Well you make her laugh, so that's good." I scratch my head. "Yea, offer the pick-up lines. They always work for me. And sugar cubes and gifts, girls love that. Oh! And I take my shirt off a lot." I shrug my shoulders. "Any other questions?"

"Only one... Why are you helping me?" This one stumps me a bit. Haymitch refuses to tell these kids that they're faces of the revolution.

"Because I can't stand to see you look so awkward around that girl." I wink. He follows me out and at the end of the hall before the ball room. I spin him around, and ruffle his hair. "My last trick. It looks like we're sneaking a kiss." And then I spin him out. He smiles and I toss him another sugar cube.

I hadn't notice Katniss come over.

"Where were you? Were you kissing him?" She looks my way and gives me a disgusted look. I try to blend into the wall and just watch.

"Hey Katniss," Peeta says, leaning in to her. She gives him an odd look. "Wanna touch my loaves? Fresh out of the oven." He winks. Her eyes grow wide and angry. Peeta takes off his jacket and offers a sugar cube. He offers a promiscuous smile. She stomps on his foot, in a way that no one but me can see and storms off. He tries to find me, but I try to snake my way away. I guess there's only one Finnick Odair...

I pass Katniss and give her a wink. She gives me a look of pure hate. We're similar though. We both try to keep those that are close to us pure. Throughout the whole games Peeta never even killed anyone, there was the girl in the beginning, but she was already dead... and then just the sneaky girl – and that was by accident. Just like Annie, he won by not really playing the games at all.

I pass Haymitch and stop him before I leave, it's getting late anyways.

"I forgot to tell you..." I blush a bit. "I proposed to Annie today."

He doesn't smile, "Why? You can't marry her. You know that. You're a bachelor Finnick."

I shrug, "I know, but... what if?"

He stops me, "No. Not now. It'll have to wait Finnick. There are more important things at stake right now. You're love life has to wait. I fear big things. For you AND Annie. Just be prepared." He walks away leaving me in my thoughts, which is never good.

I slowly walk home. What did he mean by any of that? For me and Annie. Snow, made a secret promise not to touch her right? That's why nothing bad has happened lately.

I try to justify it in my head. But nothing works. It never does. I enter the house and find Mags asleep. I quietly move upstairs and nestle myself with Annie. I grab her hands and feel the ring is still on it.

"Annie? Are you sleeping?" I whisper in a voice that is hardly audible. No answer. My heart aches a bit as I slide the ring off her finger and soundlessly lock it in the dresser where she won't find it. She can't walk around with it on.

I hold her tightly, like a snake trying to squeeze its prey, but I do it out of love. I wake up early in the morning the next day. The room is a mess. Annie is weeping, running around. I shut my eyes and force myself to confront the problem.


	38. Chapter 38

**The drama llama - aka President Snow - rears his unsightly head in! Hunger Games are not mine!**

* * *

"Finnick. I am so sorry. I told myself I would never take it off." Her crying gets louder. I take her in my arms like a child. "I lost the ring."

"It's alright Annie. When I can, I will get a new one..." I feel my eyes getting wet, "until then, let's just let it go for a while okay? I have a lot of things to do and not so much time. I promise I will tell you when the time is right."

"Put the wedding off?" I look at her confused face, it's badly hurt. "Is it because everyone thinks I am crazy?"

Before she can protest I pull her in closer, "No, Annie, none of this was ever your fault. You are perfect."

"When we will be happy Finn?"

"We are happy aren't we?" I try to look at her face but she keeps moving her head and shaking a bit.

"Is there a demon mutt staring at me over there?" She asks, her voice wavering.

"Not real, Annie... not real." She digs her face into my chest. We haven't had to play that game in a while. I'm so sorry Annie. I am so, so sorry. We will be happy. We will.

But not yet.

Katniss clearly didn't convince anyone, even after getting engaged to Peeta. You can see it Snow's lizard eyes. He pulls out a yellow box in front of Ceaser. I hold Annie as she weaves a skirt out of some material Mags had fetched earlier that day. She hums herself a little song. Then it hits me that it's a Quarter Quell. Every 25 years is an even worse Hunger Games then they usually have. With the additions of this and that horribleness. Haymitch won his, which was the 50th, where they had to have 4 tributes per District.

I wonder what hell I will have to mentor to this year?

"And on the 75th Quarter Quell, it shall be decreed that this year's tributes will be reaped from the remaining and current pool of victors from each District. To show that even the strongest among them can still fall."

My heart sinks. My eyes grow wide with fear. Annie clenches my hand. I watch the tears well up in her face.

"Annie!" I hold her, "you will never go back. I promise you, you are never going back there!" She is shaking violently. Mags comes over to stroke her hair giving sympathetic looks.

I can't stop myself. I know I am going back in. I already know. Snow hates me. My tears join Annie's. And he'll make sure she comes with me.

Mags kisses my forehead. She gurgles something that I make out to be her saying Annie won't go back. So Mags will volunteer. As long as Annie is safe. I keep repeating it to myself. Our Girl on Fire will be sent back in, being the only girl from 12. Everyone can figure out Snow is just doing it to shut the Districts up. They're all rebelling or at least planning on it. Snow is giving them everything they need.

And he's wasting any time.

Before I know it I am lined up in small group of old men. Most of them are out of shape and sad looking alcoholic sailors. The only good thing that comes out of this is watching the little 12 year olds sigh in relief at not having to go through this. I look over at Annie looking frantically around. Her eyes wide with fear. Mags holds her hand tightly.

Thomps has a depressed look on his face as he somberly walks to the stage. He makes no small talk. No one enjoys watching their favorites get killed.

"Finnick Odair." He yells out. No one claps. In fact all I can hear are wails. I can hear Annie's cry too and Mags trying to quiet her. It's no surprise, but reliving this over again hurts. I walk up the stage and wait for Annie to be called.


	39. Chapter 39

**This was fun to write, what would Finnick have thought of his friends dressed up in their redonkulous tribute outfits, and more! Hunger Games are not mine. :)**

* * *

Everyone has a sad look on their face. Everyone is sympathetic. Thomps is fighting back tears as he looks at me again. I guess the only difference is that I am not a faceless 14 year old boy now. Everyone knows me. Everyone can recognize my golden skin and bronze hair. I don't look any different at all.

He pulls out the name. "Annie Cresta." I watch Annie sink to the ground and start screaming. It tears me up and I want to run down and hold her. Bring her back. I watch Mags step forward and push her way through the few female victors gargling something at a loud pitch.

She volunteered.

My mentor, my friend, the woman who stood in as my mother, who housed my lover. This woman who was half of my remaining family would now die. She gives me a hug, not the typical handshake and I hold her close. Taking my last look at District 4.

We're thrown on the train and I brace myself for the others that will be my competitors. I know all of them. I am friends with most of them. Mags and I both watch as Cashmere and Gloss are called. Gloss never liked me, but Cashmere having to watch her brother die will be hard for her, and we are friends with benefits.

Then Brutus, a throw-back from previous games stands to volunteer. He's the king of Careers. Around 47 years old now, but claims he is itching to get back in. Ebonaria volunteers next. Great, now she can bite out everyone's throat too.

Beete and Wirres are called as well. Wirres is a little off, just like Annie except a bit more overboard then you can scavenge. Beete is smart though, during his games he is known for setting up a big electrical trap. It came as a shock to everyone – literally.

They show Mags and I again. Annie's crying still rings in my head. You can see the visible pain on my face in the recap.

District 5 are just normal tributes, they've never had luck with getting famous ones. Same with District 6 who just have two morphlings. Two people addicted to the drug. I've seen them mentor. Those kids are always on their own. They are good painters though.

My heart pains again as Johanna is called for District 7, she practically flicks off the camera – they make sure to cut it out. Blight gets called too. I've only talked to him a bit before. Most of the men in District 7 aren't as strong as the women.

District 8 looks weird this year, the area is a little doused and messy. Like a small uprising. And then it connects. Bex told me "8" last year. I smack my head. Of course. But how would she know? I try not to give myself too much to think about and ignore it. They call Celiea, who leaves her three children and heads on the stage. And Woof another drunk like Haymitch, but much older, and in horrible shape.

District 9 and 10 don't produce anyone too heart-wrenching for me. The outlying districts don't typically have favorites. Except when they show Chaff get called for District 11. I lean my head on Mags's shoulder and she rubs it for me. Why Chaff? Why my step-in father? Then they show Seeder, who gave me a long hug at the victor party. She baked me cookies before too.

Then District 12. It is ridiculous watching Effie fish around just to grab Katniss's name. She walks onto the stage, she knew it was coming. And she is the girl I have to protect. I've already given Haymitch that promise. He gets called first. No, please not Haymitch and Chaff. And then I watch Peeta volunteer. He volunteers to be with the girl he loves. I like him, he's a good kid.

I moan in agony at all the friends I will have to watch die. Mags too. I know I need to keep the spark alive.

"We have to keep _her_ alive." I nod to the screen.

Mags nods already knowingly.

We begin to roll into the Capitol station. Something is already off. The people seem sad, sure they cheer when they see me smiling and waving, but there's something different. They're upset. If it took 75 years for them to be upset, I say nothing will change it now – but maybe it will help Katniss.

I wink and slyly smile as the cameras catch Mags and I. We head inside the training center and I almost head to the Mentor bar by instinct. We walk to our quarters, but only for a minute. We then head back out for dinner and I sigh looking at all my friends – my competitors.

I receive a hug from Chaff, his eyes seem sad too. But he smiles at me. I just shake my head, all of this. The room is decorated in splendor, typical Capitol style. There are foods from all the Districts, but I have no appetite. Haymitch comes by and talks to both of us.

"Parade today, hm?" He looks at both of us.

I can't help but smile, "Oh, and we ALL look so great! Time has been kind to us ALL." Chaff grins at me as we look around the room. Most people are older, fatter, and uglier then they were when they won. I won the games young, and the more recent winners don't look bad either.

I notice the wrinkles on Chaff's face. How much older he looks. Like the stress of the games is causing us all to sell our youth.

Dinner flies in a flash and I only get to briefly talk to Peeta and Katniss. Haymitch wants Johanna and I to ally with them. He has a plan, and apparently Johanna and I are too follow everything Beete says to get us out of there. That's right. We're breaking out with the Mockingjay. I don't know all of the details, but enough: Keep Katniss safe, if that means saving Peeta for her 'promise' Haymitch told me about then, do it. Follow Beete and keep him safe as he gets us out of there. Don't die.

I am greeted by a depressed Noqall. "I never thought we'd be down here again." She spits at the ground, "they're horrible." She strokes my cheek and brushes some brown powder along my cheekbones. "I mean really. You're all our favorites! We want you all to win." She starts getting angrier and angrier as she styles my hair. "And too think there's hardly any swordfish to eat anymore."

No more swordfish? Is District 4 rebelling? This ground beneath me is solid concrete but even it feels ready to break. Noqall pulls out a golden net. She grins mischievously. I raise my brows.

"But, you're still my favorite. You better win Odair." I smile and laugh as I hold my shoulders so she can drape the net over me. She doesn't. She stands back with an evil grin. I stand straight and roll my eyes as she wraps the net around only my crotch. Over and under, and knotted.

"And if it comes undone, well, we'll still have a show," she winks as I step into the mirror.

My golden body matches the golden net, just like it did with those scales 10 years ago. I try to spot differences from here and now, but can't really match any. I look the same, a little taller, buffer, and sharper, but practically the same. My eyes, they seem to never be changed from their splendorous sea green.

I walk outside and spot my prey. A lone little Katniss. I grab some sugar cubes and eagerly go up to talk to her. I lean my back on the carriage coolly. I cock my head to the side to get a good view of the young girl. She has her long brown braid and looks likes she's glowing a bit. I give her a smirk and hold out my hand.

"Want a sugar cube?" I offer. She steps back, shooting me a look of disgust. I try to go in again. "They're for the horses, but they have their whole lives to eat sugar..." I purr on the last word and flutter my eyelashes at the innocent girl. "But you and I, when we see something sweet, we just have to take it." Her eyebrows are raised in a threatening manner, quick Finnick, don't blow it now. "I know lots of dark secrets about people here. Do you have any worth my time?" I move my eyebrows into a begging manner.

"Don't you have a Capitol girl you should be pestering for money?" She spits out the ugly words.

"Money? Hah, I haven't dealt with that in years... like I said, I'm only about the secrets." I say coolly as I move in closer and she looks up at me a little intimidated. I see Peeta coming and back off and head back to Mags. That didn't go well. I assumed she may have a crush on me like the rest of the world, guess not.

I help Mags into the cart and we're off. Gloss and Cashmere are first. Their outfits sparkle in countless jewels. The bust on Cashmere's barely covers her breasts. Gloss's hair is a bit graying but both stand in relativity good shape still. Brutus and Ebonaria follow. Brutus is wearing a stone crown and has no shirt on, revealing his sagging chest, and weakening muscles. Ebonaraia is wearing the same pants ensemble except she has a stone vest around her neck. Both look sad and overdone. Too old compared to some.

Beete and Wiress are out in front of us, blinking with light bulbs. Beete keeps trying to push his glasses up while simultaneously keeping Wirres from electrocuting herself with her costume. They look ridiculous as well. Short, and not strong. But they looked that way when they were children too.

The crowd screams when the see me. Mags looks pretty, they've knotted her hair in a typical fish braid and she has a stunning blue wave dress that crashes down. It's classy, covering up what time has forgotten on her. She's the oldest one here. No teeth, gray hair, and she's my family. I hold her as we both smile for the crowds. My teeth look stunningly white against my skin and the audience loves that I keep letting the net slip a bit in the back.

I try to look behind us after our big moment. All I see makes me want to turn back around. Everyone is so pitiful. The morphling addicts from District 6 turn in weird circles and make faces at the crowd, I can't even remember a time River and Tumble weren't drugged up. They're not taking to the lack of supplies very well.

I give Johanna a mean wink as she sticks her tongue out at me. They put her in the tree dress, again. She complains that District 7 does it every year. The dress looks fine on her, but she gripes it itches like hell.

I grimace at the hideous cow costume from District 10. It's bad. With a flaming belt and white and black patches all over it. Chaff sees my face and points to District 10's backs and laughs silently. I shake my head with him.

Chaff's costume is just as bad though. Poor District 11. His good arm weaves around Seeder as they both try to make their best looks in their 'wheat' costume. The wheat sticks out to their chins and a different stock sticks out at the bottom covering their legs. The bushels are tied in the waste by a black belt. Each of them have a long stock hanging out of their mouths. It's bad.

A roar of cheers breaks through the crowd, I look down, assuming my knot had come undone, instead the screens catch a glimpse of Katniss and Peeta. Young, strong, what tributes should look like. They are the image of burning coal. They are strong looking and solid. I notice they aren't holding hands.

I deliberately ignore Snow and try and make Mags laugh while he's talking. When he finishes we're introduced to the new Game Maker. Which secures the rumors, that Seneca's blunder was his last. This man is named Plutarch and something about him strikes me as different. He's older, and a little heavy... but smiling in a way the Game Makers don't typically do.


	40. Chapter 40

**Hunger Games are not mine!**

* * *

We head back and everyone has dinner together, I say hello to people and make my introductions. I've never actually met River and Tumble before, they ignore me and go back to playing with their food. I try to talk to Katniss again, but only find Peeta talking with Johanna. They're both laughing. How curious.

Johanna pulls me and throws out my hand, "This, is Finnick Odair. Great guy." Peeta shakes it grinning.

"Thanks," he pauses, making sure he knows the thanks are more for the lesson that turned out so beautifully earlier. "The pleasure is all mine."

"I gotta go, get a drink, be right back." She heads off and leaves me and Peeta.

"Sorry about that man, my tricks usually work for me!" I laugh.

He shakes it off, "It's no problem. I don't know anyone here... well besides from the TV, but, what are you thinking, strategy wise for the games?" He throws it out blankly and I want to laugh. Under normal circumstances I would never tell him, but I can work this angle.

"I dunno, what do you think? I know these people, who to trust who not to... why not... team up?" I give him a big smile.

"I'd have to talk to Katniss. But why me on your team? You want me to bake a cake?"

"For Katniss. You know what a good shot she is." I answer him blatantly. He nods understandingly. Chaff throws his hand out for Peeta. Haymitch walks up next to us.

"And how goes it?" He smiles. I look at Chaff, who changed out of his costume the minute we entered the training center.

"Oh you're Chaff!" Peeta says putting together the missing arm and dark skin. "Nice to meet you!"

"Man, your stylists... it's unfair. I mean did you SEE what I had to wear? Unfair I tell you, and how long have I been here?" He shakes his head, "outrageous."

Peeta laughs. Seeder comes up and thrusts something into his hands and smiles. He gives her a confused look.

"They're cookies. I know you're a baker, but those are a special recipe from District 11. Let me know what you think. Maybe we can swap recipes!"

They both eagerly talk about baking as Katniss comes back. She eyes us all suspiciously.

We go through the introductions again. We get to Chaff and he pulls Katniss in for a long kiss on the lips. She steps back with such an amazed look. I smile, so innocent. I laugh along with Haymitch and Chaff and she grows a little red. Peeta smiles too, but doesn't want to laugh at his fiancee.

"Let's head back up Peeta, they're trying to shuffle us all to our rooms." She says quickly.

We all depart. I know I have Peeta on my side. But what will it take to get Katniss to follow along? I get in my elevator just as I see Johanna talking up a storm with Katniss, and stripping her clothes off. I roll my eyes. Oh Johanna.

I sleep restlessly. I am dreading heading back into the arena. I know I have good odds, but I don't want to. I sound like a child. Besides, it will be hard keeping Katniss alive, as she might never trust me... and Peeta, well, he's not a fighter. I watched his games, he'd rather negotiate first than to kill.


	41. Chapter 41

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I sleepily roll out of bed and drag myself to the training center beneath us. I look at the weapons and yawn. Everyone's there except for Chaff. I bet he got drunk last night. I am very late by the looks on everyone's face. I am still attempting to wake up as they break us loose.

We all take our time.

I wander over to the axes and see Johanna very willingly throw them at the targets' heads.

"Wanna teach me?" I ask, yawning yet again.

"Wake up Finn!" She says slapping my face. "We've got games now!" A target suddenly pops up and she hits it with excellent accuracy on the forehead. She hands me an ax, I hit an arm, a liver, and a neck. She says I'm a quick learner. I watch Brutus take his sword and Ebonaria do something with her teeth probably sharpening them, not really, but I can't get over making fun of her.

Katniss is over by Beete and Wiress lighting fires. I head over to Peeta who's with River and Tumble. They're all good painters. I laugh, they're not even pretending to camouflage, they're only drawing pictures. Peeta smiles.

He hands me a fine pointed brush, "You draw something." I take the brush, but shake my head.

"I am no artist." I smooth a little pinkish color into a circle and carefully spring curly brown lines from the top. Then I mix a magenta color and try to form a woman's body, starting with two large circles, a line going from under them and then a heart shape. I go back to the pink and add the rest, the arms and legs. I take the green and mark two dots for the eyes. I take a ruby red and curve it around the chin of the woman.

After 30 minutes I say, "Finished."

Peeta smiles, and then his face becomes puzzled. "Oh," He laughs awkwardly. "A, um, lion... nice!"

I look at him insulted. "That's not a lion! That's a woman!"

"Then why does she have hair coming out of her chin?"

"Because it's curly, the sea water curls your hair Peeta!" I say pulling on one of mine. He shakes his head and starts to laugh. I sit down and pout. I think it looks just like Annie.

He picks up a brush. "Hey? What are you doing?" I ask as he puts it on my picture.

"I'm fixing it. Maybe you should stick to your tridents."

"No! It looks good..." I look at it for a minute. It actually just looks like a blob of colors, with brown jutting out from it. Looks like something that one of the fan letters from the little kids I get. I let him paint over it. He starts to shape out the face like an acorn. He mixes a few darker shades for the cheeks and eyes. He straightens out the hair and makes the lines crisper. He dots the lips like little cherries on top on a cake. Slowly he makes a movement with his brush where he plots it and smooths it out a bit.

It takes him 5 minutes, and my eyes grow wide. He doesn't know Annie. No way. But the picture is perfect.

"It's gorgeous." I smile.

"Thanks."

I decide my art ego has been offended enough today and I spy a little Katniss struggling with a knot. Perfect. I rush over and wrap my arms around her. I use my quick fingers to finish the knot. It was pretty easy. She spins around. Once again I receive a disapproving face and she leaves. I was going to help her. I storm off too, why does Haymitch want me to help this girl? She's always in such a bad mood, not even that useful really... the whole room goes silent.

All you can hear is *BANG* *BANG* *CRASH* We all stare at Katniss holding her bow and arrow. It is pure talent. She shoots the arrows without thinking for a second, sending the glass plates flying. She turns after the round and finds us all looking at her. My mouth almost dropped in awe.

I head back over to her. With a new strategy in mind.

"I know we didn't have the best introductions," I begin, "but let's start again. I am Finnick Odair." I offer my hand. She tries to push around me but I stay put, "I'll give you some trident lessons if you can help me learn that bow and arrow?" Her eyes look me over for a minute. Judging me. I try my best to smile politely. She agrees.

"First thing, hold your bow like so." I've really never held one of these before so my grip is awkward, I hold it like I will throw the bow in a stiff manner like a trident. Katniss laughs, and then composes herself. She takes my hand and adjusts it so my left hand is lightly holding it and my right hand is on the string part.

"Good, now practice letting go of the bow string to get warmed up."

"As you say, Mrs. Everdeen." I wanted to say Mellark, but she's actually talking to me and I'm afraid she wouldn't like my joke. I do as she says and warm up my hand. It gets tiring. "How did you learn to do this? I didn't think they had careers in 12?"

She shakes her head, "No, my dad taught me. Good, now take an arrow." I hold the arrow in my hand. I feel my grip could break it but as I glide my finger along the tip I understand why you wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of this.

Katniss adjusts where I should hold it and tells me to pull it back. I get ready to aim, but it falls off my left hand and I have to readjust. No problem. I get ready to aim, and it falls again. Katniss aims here and shoots in less then 30 seconds. I try again, aim, and it falls.

"What the hell?" I yell looking at the bow. She adjusts my hands.

"Just concentrate. Ignore the rest of the room. That target is an enemy. You have to kill it."

I try again, take a deep breath and hold it. I pull back my right hand as far as I can. I breath and let it go. It flies quickly past the target but sticks into the wall. I shrug my shoulders, not bad.

She gives me an approving nod. "Now you just have to practice your aim. Arrows are small, there's not so much wavering room like there is with tridents. Keep practicing."

Just as I start to get the hang of it, Kaniss says she wants to learn about tridents. I take one last arrow and hit the target in the arm. I cheer for myself.

I walk her over and size her up for the correct trident. I take her arms and carefully assess the mass in them. I hand her one that she takes, but immediately I take it back and hand her another.

"Perfect," I say, measuring her up once more. I lead her over to the trident dummies and explain the lore to begin with.

"Can we get on with it." I stop the lore, but am disappointed. It was always what attracted me to the weapon. I take her hand and show her how to grip the trident. Like you're holding onto someone's arm for dear life. A strong grip. Then I take the position. I explain that she can take the position from anywhere on her feet, so long as the trident is raised above the head and in a diagonal angle. I then demonstrate as I decapitate a dummy.

She looks impressed. She attempts to raise it but finds it a little to heavy. There are no lighter ones so I show her the crouched position which makes it easier on your arms. She throws again and it makes it about 5 meters.

"Now, typically, you should have a net in hand. You tangle the opponent and then throw for the kill." I lean in, "for example, you tangle Ebonaria and throw from afar so she can't bite you." I give her a convincing eye stare at Ebonaria.

She nods, "And how do I remove it?"

"Same way you do an arrow. Now, for fishing we try to remove it cleanly, so all the meat is still inside. But for killing, you want to twist it almost to do vital damage to the human."

"Interesting."

I continue to help her on her form and show her what to do in close combat. How to deflect another weapon, and how to knock out someone's legs.

"Thanks Odair." She says as we see the clock. They start herding us out for training scores.

Mags and I are close and we had been joking about what to do. She wants to take a nap. The Game Makers already know what we can do and what are secrets are. I assume Mags will take a knife and whip it and make some fish hooks. Katniss will shoot. Johanna will get an ax. I will throw.

I get called up and give the rest of the group a wave goodbye. Peeta said it was amazing how much friendlier to each other we are then regular tributes. I enter the room and see Plutarch staring at me. I smile and give them my name.

I take off my shirt, for no reason in particular, and take a trident. I take 6 actually. I set the dummies on the fastest setting and begin slashing the dummies left and right. I show my range. I show how I can hit one in the eye, or purposely knock out other limbs. I was a bit rusty at first, but one does not forget how to kill.

I take on one of the trainers and show the Game Makers how I knock in the knees and smash the skull with the butt of the trident. They clap, I leave.


	42. Chapter 42

**Interviews! Hunger Games are not mine!**

* * *

I head upstairs and take a nap until Mags wakes me up for the reviews. I lean on her shoulder, remembering this exact moment. I take a deep breath. Gloss and Cashmere 9s. Brutus, 8. Ebonaria 9. Beete, 7. Wiress, 5. Mags, 6. Ceaser announces my name.

"Finnick, 10." I shake my head. Wait? 10? How did I go down a point? I look at Mags and she just shrugs. I did better then I did when I was younger! I sit back and cross my arms. Stupid games.

River and Tumble, both have 3s. That's really low. Johanna, 8. Blight, 7. Chaff, 9. Seeder, 6. And finally Peeta. Ceaser looks at the paper again. I look at Mags curiously.

"Peeta Mellark, with a 12." My eyes grow wide. Ceaser continues. "Katniss Everdeen, also with a 12."

Mags's eyes also spell the words coming out of my mouth.

"Unbelievable."

The next day is our last. I catch Haymitch in the hall. He looks very stressed out again.

"You're still on right?" He asks me anxiously. I nod. "Good. They are saying stupid things now. Here!" He gives me a little bracelet with a flame on it. "It's mine, show it to her if she doesn't want to agree. Keep her alive!" He storms off.

"Good morning to you too," I mumble, putting the bracelet in my pocket. They send us down to hair and makeup and boy, are we putting on a show for Ceaser.

Cashmere starts. She talks about how much she loves the Captiol and how much her brother and her love them for loving her. The crowd frowns. Brutus cheers them up a bit, mentioning bloodshed, but Ebonaria thinks the games are a bit too much.

Beete goes and thinks the Capitol could change them if the really wanted too. Wiress just hums to herself, giving an odd crazy vibe, that leaves everyone unsettled. Mags goes up and yells some things, I understand and laugh.

Chaff comes over. "What is she saying?"

"Oh you, know... what usual old ladies talk about. Burning down the Capitol, cooking them all in her stew, calling the games a mockery of the human civilization."

Chaff laughs with me at the angry little old lady up there. "Of course, good thing no one but you understands." Mags starts off the stage and Chaff pats my back. "Good luck brother."

I head out, with a piece of paper I had worked on earlier, by not being able to read well, I also don't really write – I tend to just draw symbols that remind me of what I'm trying to say. I worked on it the whole night. It was another sleepless one. Ceaser greets me with opened arms.

"And how is it with Finnick?"

I give him a smile showing off my teeth, "It's alright Ceaser but it's been better."

"And why's that? Too many friends involved?"

"That, and there's always the possibility I might not make it back. I might not ever see my one true love again." The girls in the audience squeal, thinking I am talking about them. Not you cows, I am talking about Annie. I wink to the audience and throw them in a tizzy.

"Really? Your one true love?"

"Yes, and if I have your permission I would like to read a small poem I have prepared for her."

"A poem?!" Ceaser's eyes light up like it might be for him.

"What? Strong men like me can't have sensitive sides?" I say it in a cat like way. Everyone touches their hearts. I look at the symbols and begin to blush. I hope Annie is watching.

My perfect mermaid,

who swims so beautifully

and talks so freely.

Even in my darkest hours,

you are the one to pull me to shore.

To breathe life into me once more.

There is no other I love.

I will stand by you always,

through life and death.

I know you can find yourself,

even when you're trapped.

She's there, in your head.

My mermaid,

you know who are,

the magical being I speak of.

One day we will be happy,

together swimming,

among our underwater kingdom.

Because you and I,

our love and lady,

is the sea.

I close the note and look at the women in the crowd crying, fanning themselves. I don't look at them, I only stare into the camera. I want Annie to hear me. Ceaser gives me a hug.

"And go home to her you shall Finnick," his sparkling eyes shine glossily as he speaks to me. "In one way or another. That was beautiful."

"Thanks," I say plainly as I stand and say my goodbye to the crowd. I walk quietly and slowly back to the waiting room. Mags is there and she takes me next to her.

"That was really pretty there Finn, I'm sure she liked it." Cashmere looks at me, I don't acknowledge her. I feel weird. Like perhaps I shouldn't have said anything about Annie. Maybe now she is in danger. I look at the TV.

"Yea! And if they wanted to change the games they could!" Johanna shakes her fist at the screen. I grab my head. And now she's a target too, but I can't help and laugh. She'll always did do her own thing. "Guess they don't care about any of us really..." she folds her arms.

Chaff continues the tirade, adding to the pile everyone's started. We're all waiting for the Girl on Fire to light it a flame. She walks on to the stage. In her wedding dress.

Everyone loses it. They cry, they yell. They think it's unfair too. Katniss seems really sad herself. She talks to Ceaser and as if on a cue she stands up to twirl.

I get scared for her as she starts smoking and spinning. The little pearls pop off and fall to the ground. She looks a little frightened too, in one burst of light the dress is taken in flame and then all that is left is a black dress covered in feathers. Black feathers, except for the sleeves that are white.

Ceaser and the rest of the crowd are still taking it in. Katniss looks stunning.

"You look like a bird." He says feeling the feathers.

"Like a Mockingjay."

There's that word. Mockingjay. So that's Katniss. The one who survived when she shouldn't have. I shake my head, I've been here long enough to know, her stylist is in trouble.

They finish and it leaves the crowd in shambles. Peeta walks out in his savvy way and talks small talk with Ceaser. How he and Katniss are already married, yadda yadda. I try and talk to Katniss as she walks down, and then he says it.

"If only there wasn't the baby to worry about."

We all bite our tongues. Katniss blushes and her eyes grow wide. I look at her, we all do. Pregnant. No, it can't be true. Or is it? The crowd is devastated. Now the games really ARE inhumane. But I am sure they would stop them if Katniss really were pregnant. Or would they?

We all head back for the final bows. I feel a hand take mine and look around. All around me, all the victors are holding hands. Chaff grins at me as Katniss holds on to what's left of his arm. Even Brutus takes a hand, reluctantly but in the heat of the moment he does it. I hold Mags's hand tightly and we look out at the audience. It's a riot. They cut the power on us.

We're shuffled off the stage and Katniss and Peeta, who I assume started the hand holding, are kept away from us. Johanna and I run after them, we still have to secure the alliance! But they're taken away. I look at Johanna.

"Everyone saw the hands, they cut the power, but they saw it." I look in her eyes, giving no affirmative or negative response. I just cock my head a bit. Then I pull her in for a hug. This might be our last night.

"Good luck tomorrow."

"Good luck Finn, I'll see you for the wedding."

I smile at her. At my wedding. With Annie and I. I sleep well that night.


	43. Chapter 43

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I am awoken by an early clock and taken downstairs. We are driven a bit, and have the trackers placed in our arms. When we land I expect to find Noqall but just see Bex there. Smiling. What? I can not deal with this confusion the entire games.

"Okay, time for you to do some talking! Why are you here, how do you know so much about the districts? You're a Capitol girl!"

"Well that's no way to talk to someone who has helped you so much..."

"Helped me?" I laugh a bit. "All you've done is confuse me!"

She sighs, "Finnick, do you know who my father is? The head gamemaker. I can do and go wherever I want. I find what you are doing to be intriguing."

"And what am I doing exactly?"

"Playing a little game... with Jabberjays and Mockingjays... all of it. You're taking part."

The countdown begins. She runs and gives me a hug.

"I'm sorry if I confused you, but it will all make sense eventually. I am really trying to help, and it doesn't end here. Finnick, I love you. I do. But I know who you really love. And I promise to protect her."

"That's great Bex, but I don't know what my odds are in this game."

She looks up at me, through those glasses. "They're in your favor," she smiles.

"10 seconds." A robotic voice calls out.

I head into the pod and watch the girl as we wave goodbye. Something in the back of my mind tells me this is the last time we'll see each other again.

And then I smell it. The salty water, the warm breeze, the sound of the waves crashing on the sand. I open my eyes and smile widely at the sea water surrounding me, and the palm trees on the beach.

Oh, is this a place for a boy from the water.

...

I eagerly await the countdown, practically mouthing the numbers myself. I can't wait to dip my head in the water and let the ocean consume me. The island a bit north from me is small, and filled with palm trees and then a thick forest I'm not really used to. I look at the golden Cornucopia and get ready. 30 seconds. I look around me, I can't spot Katniss, just Peeta, so Katniss must be on the other side.

Being from District 12 I don't expect them to be able to swim. I look at Gloss's glare, everyone knows I have a distict advantage being on the water right now.

I get itchy with excitement. Five, Four, Three, Two... I dive in. Letting the water rush into my mouth as I smile. I look at the beautiful creatures below me. I notice the belt they have on us is keeping me from drowning, I make it to the Cornucopia in seconds. Using my typical strokes.

I rush into the mouth and giddily grab some tridents and nets. My eyes stop when I spy Katniss ready to launch an arrow through me.

"District 12 huh? Didn't know there were any lakes around you guys." I say slowly taking my trident and getting it ready in kill position. "Good thing we're allies huh?" I smile, flashing the bracelet. Her eyes stare at it, unsure. I see Woof running up behind her. "Duck!" I yell. She does what I say without hesitation.

I pierce the trident right through him. Poor guy, let alcohol consume him. Guess the little Victor-hand holding didn't really go too far for some people. The canon sounds, first kill goes to Finnick Odair. I look at Katniss who seems grateful.

"I'm going to get Peeta." I step in closer to her, watching the other tributes figure out the floatation device, I see Mags start to paddle. Good, can't leave her, she's one of the few people who still likes me. I bet the cameras are catching the big beam on my face right now, the games couldn't be more perfect for me. I look at Katniss ready to go for Peeta. When she goes in, I know she plans on breaking away from me.

"No, I will... you have the baby!" I say outrageously playing up her secret. She blushes a bit and I dive in. Swimming to Peeta in no time. I look up at him as I bob in the water.

"Need a hand bread-boy?" I smile. He laughs and graciously takes my hand as I help him down into the water. He looks nervously as he almost sinks, but I throw him on my shoulder and he clasps his hands over my chest as I paddle us back to shore, Mags and Katniss meet us there.

"I've only ever been in the bathtub at my victor's house. I've never swam before."

"Never too late to learn, first we should get safe though." We head onto the sandy beach as Gloss, Cashmere, Brutus, and Ebonaria come up. "Don't trust 1 and 2," I lay out flatly. The bloodshed begins and we're on our way running through the forest. I smash the small leafy greens at my feet, leaving a large path for Mags to follow through.

I watch her panting, "Hey guys, let's take a break for a moment." I help Mags sit down. It is really hot in this arena and humid. I am sweating like crazy. I am also getting thirsty, but so far we've only seen saltwater.

Katniss goes up a tree to look back at the Cornucopia. I know what she is seeing, but I refuse to look. I refuse to see my friends all slaughtered by each other. She comes back down, with a depressed look on her face.

"Didn't stop fighting did they?"

"Nope."

"That's right, because these are still Games Katniss, no amount of hand holding will change that."

I watch her inch for her bow and I carefully pull out my trident and nonchalantly hold it on my shoulder. I taught her in the training center what I can do from this position. We are caught in a staring contest. She wants to end the alliance now, but I can't let her. I promised Haymitch. If I have to carry this girl around on my back with broken bones to keep her quiet, I'll do it.

"We're all capable of being killers, Katniss." I look over at Peeta showing a rock to Mags, "except Peeta maybe." She continues to inch on me. I make a note not to mention him again.

Peeta walks up in front of me.

"Guys, let's keep looking for water. We're all getting thirsty. I bet there's some up there!" He points north and I shrug. I'm glad he stepped between me and Katniss. I get back in line and we keep moving. The arena is interesting. Very thick, with all sorts of new plants that I am sure most of are poisonous.

We walk for a while and I carelessly look around getting bored. I hear Katniss yell and I stop, but only for a minute while Peeta's entire body gets thrusted into me. We both tumble back and Katniss runs up screaming. She holds Peeta. I look at them. I watch her hold him in her arms and cry. She loves him. Whether she knows it or not. She holds her head to his lifeless chest. Nothing.


	44. Chapter 44

**More Quarter Quellness. CPR time! Anyone else thoroughly disappointed by not being able to see Finnick and Peeta liplock during the Catching Fire movie - damn you movie people! Don't forget your fangirls! ) Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I push her out of the way and begin my rhythm with my hands. She's in a crazy state.

"Don't! You're going to kill him!" She comes to attack me, messing up my count. I push her with medium strength and send her flying into a tree. I get back on beat and lean down and press my lips on Peeta's, holding his nose shut. I watch Katniss lower her bow, finally catching on to what I am doing.

His lips are soft, very soft. I watch his chest as it heaves, pushing large breaths of air in through his mouth. Eventually I go back to pushing his heart and it starts pumping again. He coughs and holds his head. I give him a grin as he figures out I saved his life.

"How does it feel to get a kiss from Panem's hottest bachelor... and stay asleep?" I joke. Katniss jumps on him and hugs him tightly. Just as I do for Annie. Her and I are both protectors. She starts crying.

"I was so worried Peeta!" She sounds just like she did when she found him with nightlock in his hands. Her eyes. She's convinced me, I can tell they're in love – but she's still questioning it. I thought she was always lying.

"How did you know about the force field?" I ask as we all settle back down and continue onward. She gives some crap story about how the Capitol fixed her ear to it. I go along with it. I assume the Capitol will be asking questions.

"Then by all means, please lead." I offer with a smirk. She reluctantly heads out in front but throws nuts and rocks at her left just in case. Walking. I am getting tired of it, but it's mostly the heat that is just hell.

We keep heading out and Mags picks up some nuts and starts munching on them after they're fried from the force field.

"Those aren't safe Mags!" Katniss yells. "They could be poison!"

She grumbles at her but smiles. She looks at me for explanation.

"She used to eat them to stay alive during her games." Mags's games. I've only seen them once, she looks nothing like she does now. Age is probably the main factor in that. Mags was quite capable with her hands. Not like her character today.

After a while, when Peeta and Katniss sees that Mags is still okay they go on to eat the nuts as well. I trusted Mags from the get-go, but even I was a little reluctant with the nuts. Katniss climbs another tree. She's quite the spider.

She comes back down, "No water except the ocean. The arena looks like a circle though." I assess this as we keep walking. A circle, and so small. We ran into that force field in only a few hours.

I can hear Peeta stumbling and Mags's breathing get heavier behind me.

"Let's make camp here Katniss." We agree and she goes off to hunt. I sit Peeta down, the force field did a number on his head. I grab some tall grass as Mags goes off for nuts.

I hand him a fistful of the leaves. He eyes me curiously, "Here, I'll teach you how to weave. We do it all the time in 4." He takes them and watches my quick hands maneuver the stock to form large sheets, sturdy sheets. Mags comes back with nuts and helps us. Between the two of us we're finished. I laugh as Peeta still struggles with what I gave him.

We find some sticks and set up the strong sheets into a hut almost. Mags and Peeta roast the nuts while I tie everything to get it sturdy. The shelter is great and we have some food, all accomplished within an hour. Katniss comes back when we hear the eight canons.

She has a hideous looking rat and I turn my nose at it a bit. We can't really light a fire, but Peeta uses his brilliant mind and fries the cubes of meat on the force field. I bet the gamemakers love that and are trying to figure out a way to make it impossible for us to that next time.

The meat is better then it looks and I brace myself as the faces appear in the skies. I watch it start with Woof who I killed today. It goes on to Tumble, and then we see Blight. Johanna is probably upset. I wonder if she got to Beete and Wiress, we talked about who would get who. We flipped a coin and I won. I hope she's at least being pleasant. Oh, wait, it's Johanna, I'm sure she's not.

That little joke keeps me happy for a second and then I see Seeder. Mags pats my shoulder. Mags and her were good friends, they loved to make things together. Both of them were like grandmas to me. My heart is still heavy as I notice a clink come on the ground. We all stare at the parachute.

"Well, Peeta died today. Why not let him open it?" He goes to get it.

It is a little metal tube. I give up immediately. I doubt it was for me. Mags shrugs, she can't make anything out of it. We're stumped and we all head to bed... thirsting for water.

"Wake up! Run!" The lovely message from Katniss is loudly received in the middle of the night. I grab Mags and we start running. I understand why. A think whitish fog is slowly creeping on us. Little splashes burn against my skin. I run quickly as Mags yawns, still wakening.

Peeta is stumbling along, but there, and Katniss comes up with us too. I trample over the foliage and try to get some distance between the fog and me. I continue to run quickly and look back for a minute as Katniss holds Peeta. He is very slow. It must be a combination of his artificial leg and the poison. I look in disgust as his face begins to sag. The fog is paralyzing us. I feel my arms starting to twitch a bit.

I feel Mags smack my head a bit. I have to go save Peeta. I run back towards the fog.

"Take Mags, I got Peeta." We switch loads and head off a bit.

I can hear the waves a bit through my trained ears and try to lead us back that way. I start slowly twitching more and more. I look at Katniss breath harder and harder. Her arms are giving out.

"I can't anymore Finnick." My arms are hardly holding on to Peeta. I look at Mags. I can't though. Tears well in my eyes and I want to tell her 'no'. I want to drop Peeta and take her with me. But I can't. She lets go of Katniss and gives me a kiss. A tear falls as I watch her run into the fog. She knows the plan, and she believes in Katniss. She believes so much, she just gave her life for Katniss's sanity.

I don't have the heart to look at her suffer and continue moving with Peeta on my back and Katniss at my rear. It's exhausting. The fog reaches closer and closer. It keeps splashing my face and back, burning my skin and the suit. I can feel it at my heels. I can't hold on any more.

I fall on to the ground and feel sand. Did we make it? I assume that the stinging is so bad and has already paralyzed my entire body so I can't feel the rest of it consume me. I just close my eyes. I try to picture Mags's face, when she was happy. Hugging Annie and I. She won't see the wedding. I wonder if I will even see it.


	45. Chapter 45

**Hunger Games are not mine!**

* * *

I hear some splashing near by but I can't even move. My entire body is numb, and not only that, it's pounding and my head is spinning. I feel some warm water fall on me. It stings and I moan out in pain. I feel some of the poison come out but fall back in, it hurts. They try it again and I hiss out. I want to cry, but I can't even move my eyes. I feel my body being dragged to the water as I am almost positive Katniss and Peeta are nursing me back to health.

They slowly dip one of my toes into the water. It stings like hell again, and gently they get the rest of my calves. I open my eyes a bit and see that the salt water is sucking out and evaporating the fog's poison. I get up to my thighs. Every part of my body hurts. The part that was just healed and the part that is still hurt. The pain comes from all over.

But I look at Katniss and Peeta who seem to be in good health again. Or alright health at least. Eventually, after what seems like forever for me I am up to my neck in the water.

"The face is the worst part Finnick. But once you get it done, it's all better."

I sigh and brace myself for hell on earth, oh wait, I am already participating at hell on earth. I let the salt fill my nostrils and wet my hair. It stings, but I am used to the sensation now. Slowly I move my arms underwater. I kick my legs a bit, getting used to the current. My body feels weird. Like it's brand new and I have to get used to the water again. I stay under for around 3 minutes and come up and see Katniss staring at me.

I smile, "I'm feeling better. And you?"

"Yea thanks." She looks deep in thought and I continue to swim around again until I'm doing my normal strokes. I go down and propel myself like a dolphin to the top and twirl in the air. Katniss looks impressed. Apparently Peeta went out for water using the little metal thing we were sent. I forgot what Katniss called it. A spile I think.

I bob around with Katniss and she laughs at my good health. She catches me looking disapprovingly at my skin, it's all puffed and sagging, waiting to be regrown as new.

"Aw, poor Finnick! First time you aren't pretty?"

"Girl, I'm flawless. But it's a little daunting looking at you as a mirror." She sticks out her tongue and laughs. I guess that's a sign we're getting along. She must have seen how much I go out of my way to keep her and Peeta alive.

Speaking of him we stand up to go fetch him. I look up above him, holding the spile.

"Peeta, slowly walk back to us please," we say as calm as possible. There are over a 100 orange monkeys standing above him. Perched in the trees. Peeta is a non-violent kid, but anything can set these guys off.

He comes walking to us like nothings the matter. I instinctively grab my trident as he turns around and is launched onto by a monkey. But they aren't monkeys. They're mutts. I lost two tridents in the fog and have only my one. I begin pulverizing them as they come down to us.

Katniss takes out her bow, and Peeta's fending for himself with something... I can't bother myself to look right now. The monkeys latch on and I spill their insides on the sand.

I take them on three at a time. I see lots dropping by Katniss. My mind is occupied and so are my hands and trident. I hear a scream, and then a canon. I can't stop to look, but I don't think it was Katniss. The monkeys oddly retreat and I assess the damage.

Peeta and Katniss are standing over River from District 6, twitching from either her death or lack of morphine. I give Katniss a silent nod that I'll walk around. I add it together, sometime in the attack Peeta must have been aimed for an attack and River stepped in. She may have given into a half-life, but she still hated the Capitol for it.

Haymitch told me they were on my side. I head back and see Peeta getting drawn on by her blood. Better her then me, I apparently have no artistic ability. We are all forced to bathe again and wash off the blood. We lay by the beach for the night.

"Don't scratch, that'll make it worse," Katniss says to Peeta and I as we pick off the crusty copper skin. I can't sleep. Mags keeps coming to mind. I decide to take first shift. And laugh as Katniss scratches herself in her sleep. It doesn't help. I lay back and the tears come. They're silent. Mags. The last half of my family. Now gone.

I try and remember every little detail of her. How can I make it up to her. The tears keep falling and I don't stop them. I just stare into the moonlight. Half-way through the night I can't take my stillness anymore and need something to occupy my mind. I always need to be doing something. Don't get caught up in your thoughts Finn.

I head into the water and collect shell-fish. There are so many fish down here. I am at home. I collect two basket fulls. By the time Katniss wakes up I am working on another basket and already have water set out.

She eats a little and we watch a parachute fall. A green medicine. She plasters it on. It looks disgusting. She eggs me on again.

"Poor 'flawless' Finnick." I roll my eyes, but once again reluctantly smear the makeup on my face. Katniss looks like a dead ghoul with the medicine. It feels good and stops the itching but both of us are a ghastly shade of green.

"Come here," I whisper to Katniss. I silently laugh as we both stand over him. Katniss catches on and tries not to laugh herself.

"Hey Peeta, good morning baby..." He slowly flutters his blond eye lashes open. Ready for sex on the beach or something. But wakes up to our green faces of horror as we smile bitterly at him. He screams in horror. He actually screams.

Katniss and I double back in laughter. He still seems horrified but we hold each other as another laugh attack hits us. Katniss has a really pretty laugh. I am still giggling when Peeta puts the medicine on. He shoots us both looks of hate.

Out of no where a huge wave comes up by the Cornucopia, we're not in its path, but our stuff will still get wet so we relocate. There's a canon. We hide as voices boom up in the distance. I try to catch and peek out a bit as three red figures move towards us. One spins in a circle and the other slaps it on its head. Johanna.


	46. Chapter 46

**Damn you Jabberjays! Hunger Games are not mine!**

* * *

"Jo!" I run out to her and we embrace. She has a nasty look on her face. I laugh as I bring up the coin.

"Next time I'll shove the coin up your ass how does that sound?"

"Wouldn't bother me, I don't think... or you, now would it?" I purr.

"You're a pig," she says laughing. Katniss and Peeta mosey on over. I look at Beete and Wiress, Beete is a bloody mess and Wiress is spinning around chanting tick tock or something.

"She's been stuck like that... and this one," she points to a practically unconscious Beete, "he was stabbed in the back by Ebonaria and can hardly walk."

"Tick tock, tick tock!" Wiress mumbles louder.

"Be quiet you!" Johanna pushes her to the ground, Katniss steps up to defend her.

"Don't talk to her like that." Katniss looks Johanna in the eye. Johanna's eyes grow wide.

"I'm sorry... who the hell are you? Don't tell me what to do. Haymitch said that in order to have an alliance with you, this is what it took. So here, you take care of them."

"Don't treat her like that." Katniss says pointing to Wiress wiggling in the sand. I see the fire in both their eyes and watch Johanna put her hand on her ax while Katniss gets an arrow. I pick Johanna up at the waste and carry her.

"What the hell are you doing Finnick?" She yells, scratching me and kicking me.

"Calm down Johanna."

"No!" She yells as she rips one of my scabs open. She watches the blood gush out. I take her to the water and dunk her head under as she tries to punch back but fails. I yawn, contributing to her anger. I need her to cool down. Here and there I help her peel off the blood and clean her. I notice Katniss and Peeta doing the same for Beete and Wiress. Eventually she gives up resisting and I carry her back over to Katniss.

"You were saying Johanna?" She looks at me with eyes full of scorn through her wet hair, already spiking back up.

"I was saying," she throws in a big huff, "we were caught in a blood rain storm, thought it was water until we got a metal taste in our mouth. Volts insists on carrying that dumb metal thing around. I'm hungry. Where's the food Finnick?" Katniss looks at Johanna in disgust. If only she knew.

I feed the others and head to a restless sleep again. I hear Johanna and Katniss talking, maybe they'll get along now. I doubt it. Women like those two always want to be in control, they clash.

I drift in an out of a dreamless sleep and wake up to Katniss explaining Wiress's tick tocking. The arena is apparently a clock. With a different torture happening every hour.

"Why not?" I shrug, Johanna looks unconvinced but finds it useless to argue, we'll all just have to wait and see. Beete grabs his wire that he so desperately risked everything for at the Cornucopia.

We decide to head right back there to that spot... after I count the bread of course. It came yesterday too, but this time it's even more important. I count each loaf and inspect them. Katniss looks at me weirdly. She just doesn't understand that the bread is from Haymitch and whoever else is in on it. It helps tell the days and when the attack will come. Beete nods we have to hurry up after I count 24.

...

As we swim to the Cornucopia I stock up on tridents and Johanna buries herself in more axes. Wiress is singing and it reminds me of Annie when she's nervous. A smile creeps on my face. We all look at Peeta who has drawn a map of the arena with the clock. If we follow it apparently we can avoid the triggered attacks.

He points out where they are, starting from 12 down we begin to label them. Monkey Mutts, Blood Rain, Lighting, Fog, remaining all the horrors we have already experienced in the games. But knowing this, we'll know when and where to go and how to brace for it. We all stop talking for a moment. It's silent. Wiress has stopped singing, we turn and see Ebonaria slitting her throat. Johanna and Katniss are in attack mode and I stand to guard their backs as Gloss and Cashmere attack them.

Within seconds it is over. Ebonaria and Brutus are off and Gloss and Cashmere are dead. And then everything starts spinning. The Cornucopia, throwing us off our balance. I dive off immediately, so I am not sucked down, everyone else goes flying.

We gather ourselves and everyone is okay. Wiress is floating with the wire, Katniss goes to get it from her bloody body and I go to fetch Beete. On the way I swim pass Cashmere. I look quickly around and just close her eyes so she can rest in peace. She was a monster, but I know the pain she suffered from. She was a friend. I grab Beete and we all head back to shore. Beete finally seems awake and recovering.

We are at a loss on shore. We don't know where we are on time. I shrug and Katniss and I go off for water.

"That was pretty smart, figuring out the clock," I say, starting conversation.

"Well, it was really Wiress but," she hacks into the tree and sticks the spile in. "We needed to know it. But now every time we say something, they'll try and change it again."

We watch the water come out and I hear a scream. Like a little girl. I try to recall who's still left and wait for the canon. Katniss stops, and runs into the woods. I grab the spile and chase after her.

"Katniss wait!" I yell. But it doesn't help she just stops at a clearing of trees looking for the source of the trees. I turn around and look too, but she shoots something and it stops. Her eyes are red. She comes back over to me and then I hear it.

I hear Annie scream. I bash through the bushes and trees, letting my face get smacked as I run to the voice.

"Annie!" I yell, tears drowning my eyes. "Annie!" I yell louder trying to overcome her helpless screech. I am stuck at the base of a tree, I wander around it as I try to find her. I look up, they have her hanging there. Annie is there.

"Annie's not there Finnick," Katniss says a bit confused as she shoots down a black bird.

"Jabberjays," she says. I shake my head. That was Annie. It was her, her voice. It had to have been. She's in trouble and they're doing something to her. I sink to my knees as another scream sounds. It's a man's... for Katniss. I grab her arm.

"We're getting out of here, come on." I follow her, but Annie starts up again. I want to turn and run again but Katniss keeps a firm grip on me, as if steadying herself as well. We keep walking and we see the beach. Annie's voice is ringing loudly in my ears and I can't stop it. It is so real.

We smack our faces on something and I fall back, my nose gushing out blood. We're trapped. Katniss taps on the glass and Peeta gives her a saddened look as they try to push their palms against each others. Johanna shakes her head at me.

For the next hour I will be in hell.


	47. Chapter 47

**End of the world... Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I give in and sink deep into the ground. I pull my knees to my chin and push my hands on my ears. I shut my eyes tightly. It isn't real Finnick. Jabberjays. It isn't real. Annie is okay. But she's not. Katniss tries shooting them, but she joins me in my position and we give in. The hour feels like entirety. Eventually I feel an arm on my shoulder.

"It's over Finn." I hear the voice, but I'm not really sure if the voices have stopped I look around and hug Johanna. She goes back in to get water.

"They'll get you to!" Katniss protests.

"I don't have anyone left to lose." And with that she's gone. I shake my head at Johanna. Then I look at Katniss. We both seem so broken.

"I heard her." I say looking at the group. Katniss nods, feeling the pain I feel. Peeta tries to calm us and tells us that the Capitol couldn't have killed our loves one, because then they'd have lots of angry people in the Districts.

"That's a nice utopia Peeta... is that true Beete?" I ask looking at him. He knows everything about high tech things.

"Yes, it is very easy to manipulate voices, and I'm sure the Captiol has the technology to do it."

It makes me feel better, but that attack has left me uneasy. I can deal with any physical challenge thrown at me, but a mental emotional one. I am far too scarred to be heading back there. I watch Katniss and Peeta move out a little alone as I try to occupy my mind with the sand. I hear him say my name, Annie, is mad, and in love. I know what he's telling her.

I don't know how he could have figured it out, unless everyone can now. Meaning Annie is in more danger. I clench my stomach and lay in the sand. Letting the sun soak me up. No Finnick, don't let your mind consume you, don't break. When you break you have to build yourself up again. Don't do it. I start weaving a basket again.

There's a canon and then a tribute that is lifted in shreds of pieces... right, never go there, note taken. The bread arrives on time again and I pounce on it. I count it carefully. 24 rolls, District 3. They want us to speed up. I look over at Beetee who gives me a faint smile. We have to break out soon, and he's the man with the plan.

We lay down back on our beach. Katniss and Peeta are up alone. Johanna thinks they want to split on us, but I doubt it, even though there are only 3 other tributes left besides us, Brutus, Ebonaria, and Chaff. I wonder how Chaff is faring right now.

My eyes drift and flutter in and out of sleep. Eventually I got trapped in this half-awake nightmare. The images are there, and so are the screams, but I can still hear the waves and feel the sand. I feel ship-wrecked. Everything around me is spinning. I don't know who I am, why I am here, where I am. Who is Finnick? This man who sleeps around, he's selfish. My mind contorts these horrid images of the Capitol torturing Annie. They start pulling at her fingers and she screams again.

Her scream mixes with the lightning bolt at 12 o'clock. I wake up. I am sweating and breathing quickly. I look at everyone around me sleeping. I see Katniss and Peeta talking. I try and calm myself. The sand is sticking to my hot sweaty body. I stand up and walk over to them.

"I'll take over the shift." I put the kids to sleep and then I sit awake, watching the waves. I am afraid to close my eyes again. My mind conjures terrible images and ideas, I prefer not to let it wander.

I decide to swim again. I gather shell-fish and water. My eyes are sinking from the lack of sleep. But I feel my mind cracking right now. Don't think, just do.

I wait for the others to stir and we eat. Katniss and Peeta only eat a little and decide to teach Peeta how to swim.

"I'm not reviving you again," I joke as Peeta heads into the water. I watch them carefully. Johanna is still struggling in her half-sleep as well. I throw an empty clam at her.

She shoots me bloodshot eyes of rage and I crawl back. She is such a mess, her hair, the dried blood on her face and sleepless eyes. The very image of the spawn of satan. She crawls over to me.

"It wasn't me! I swear!" I yell, fearing my life. She picks up her ax. I smile a bit, but am starting to get worried. Beetee just looks at me. I point at him, "It was him!" I can't help laugh/screaming. "It was Beetee!"

Johanna looks at Beetee and back at me. She takes the butt of the ax and hits my head.

"Yea yea, I deserved that." I wink to her. "Have some breakfast."

She comes over and eats some, she keeps looking over her shoulder at the kids. I wave her off. I think they're fine.

"So, today's a good day." I look at Beetee. "Isn't it?" I try to hint that we have to get going and he nods, understanding it all. I am getting bored. Johanna is still eating. I grab her arm, "You know what my favorite drink was in the Capitol?"

"If you say Sex on the Beach Finnick, I am going to kill you, right here, right now." Johanna's eyes are so serious. I pout and sit back. I was going to say that.

"Hey Finnick! We know how to make you pretty again!" Katniss is calling for me to join her in the water. Apparently if you soak in it our weird fog medicine scabs will fall off. I wade in the water and watch them start to peel. It's gross.

Katniss and Peeta laugh at my face. I roll my eyes at them. When I think I am done I stand in a victorious pose.

"I," I flip my wet hair, "am flawless." I give a cheesy smile. Katniss comes up and pushes me over back into the water. I sit up and look at her, giving her a playful glare.

"I have some news to share!" Beetee announces like we're his children. We all gather around him, Johanna even folds her legs like she's in primary school. He starts to draw in the sand with a stick. "Now, I've figured out a plan that can get Brutus and Ebonaria killed before we all end up dying too." He draws a tree, "This is where lightning strikes every time on the clock's rotation at 12." He shows the coil to us. "We'll unravel this and place it in the ocean, electrifying anything in contact with it."

"Wouldn't that eliminate our food source?" I ask. I like the ocean, I don't want to see it all burnt up. I know his plan will work, but we have to show we're skeptical for the cameras.

"Yes, but that would also mean a food source for Ebonaria and Brutus as well. We come to sleep here at night as well, don't you think they do this as well, safe from the dangers of the forest?"

"I don't know... how will we not get fried?" Johanna asks.

"We'll be far away, safe." Beetee answers plainly. Almost offended we are questioning his math. "We're a team, so everyone needs to say yes. What do you think?"

Katniss and Peeta agree. I look at Johanna, "What do you think?"

She sighs and thinks about it, "why not. What do we have to lose?"

We both agree. We collect what we have and head out to the lightning tree. I basically sweat the entire day as Beetee fiddles around with his plan and the tree. Haymitch told me not to question anything, but seriously? What does him eating the bark have to with anything?

He says, "Eureka," when he finds something that he likes. I just shake my head. This is why I am not a scientist. Actually, I'd probably understand this better if I had continued to go to school. But I didn't, victors don't go to school after they win.

We know that in 11 hours something will happen so we head back to the beach. I give everyone fishing lessons. Johanna looks so funny, she refuses a spear or a trident, she just tries to hack away at the fish with her ax. Peeta and Katniss gather clams. When we have the fish cooking we open the clams. I remember looking for a pearl for Annie. Maybe I'll find another one...

"Look a pearl!" Peeta gleams. He hands it to Katniss, "for you." I turn away. Jealous. I wish that were Annie and I. I erase that name from my thoughts again.

"You know, when you put enough pressure on coal it turns into pearls!" Peeta and Katniss laugh.

I look at them oddly and shake my head, "No it doesn't."

They just turn away and laugh again, must be a private joke. We eat lovely today. Bread, water, and fish galore. We laugh a bit and smile at each other. It's so settling. I almost sleep, almost... with the warm fish mixing in my stomach.

...

Johanna kicks me a bit. "I just love looking at your ugly mug," I sneer. We head back up to the tree. The terrain is horrible, it doesn't matter how many times I trample it down it always regrows and gets bushier.

Beete helps me wrap the wire along the tree. It's long and silky almost. We wrap it up really tightly and Beete looks back and smiles. He hands the wire to Johanna and tells her and Katniss to move quickly and drop it in the water.

Katniss starts to protest but Beete shuts her up, "There's no room for debate right now. Get going now and you'll be safe. Good luck." The girls head off, Beete looks at us, "You two are the slowest and the largest. Finnick help Peeta find a safe place and stay there till everything is finished, we'll regroup there."

I nod and take Peeta up with me. We make it to the safe zone relativity quickly. All I hear is a large voice boom, "MOVE!"

Chaff is running towards us, covered in blood. My eyes shoot open and I grab my trident. He runs past us and stops a bit as Brutus comes up for an attack. Chaff shoots me a look that says 'get the hell out of here.' I grab Peeta and run him through the bushes, but he can't run. Brutus cut his replacement leg. It's bleeding everywhere.

I am frozen in fear as Brutus's spear whizzes towards me and Peeta. Chaff stops it with his good arm and it punctures and bleeds from the wound. He takes, with what strength he has, and slashes Brutus's face. Chaff is heaving, and a mess. I look at the man who I trust. The man who I see as a father.

Peeta's emotions are running high. Katniss screams in the distance. And Brutus smiles, offering the final blow to an already dead inside Chaff. He falls and my eyes well up. But I need to take care of Brutus. I pull out my trident but it's too late.

Brutus is dead.

Peeta pulls the knife out of the neck he had just slit. He looks at me, eyes full of rage, anger and fear. I had never seen that look before. I hear Katniss scream again. Our plan isn't going well. I lean Peeta on a tree and strictly tell him to stay put.

"I will get Katniss." I say. He's moaning in pain and I run quicker than I have in my life. The clock is ticking. I run past the wire and see it is cut in the center.

"Katniss!" I scream, waiting for her to reply. "Johanna!"

I keep running. I don't know what forces me to do it, but I know all hell is out right now. I find Beetee lying by the tree. He has his knife in hand I think he accidentally hit the force field. I quickly take the knife and dig it into his arm.

Blood spurts into my eyes and I throw out the tracker next to him. I go and look for Johanna again. I see Ebonaria come towards me. I get my trident ready.

"Peeta!" It's Katniss! My head turns, she's close. Ebonaria slashes my chest. I yell in pain. But I have to ignore her.

"Katniss!" I yell, with what little voice I can muster at this point. I run clumsily in her direction and watch her shoot an arrow. I assume the target is my head, she thinks the alliance is over and I turned on her. But that's not where it goes. I look confusedly at the arrow as it hits the force field.

And then sound leaves my ears. I can't hear anything. I only see the magnificent light bursting from the force field as the lightning hits the tree. I was not in the safe zone. No, my body is muddled to the ground and I feel a faint zap go through me.

But that's all. I hardly heave or breathe anymore. I feel a wave wash over me, like someone is placing an invisible blanket over on top of my body. I can't really turn my head, so I just enjoy the fire works that the Capitol is blaring to distract them from the mess we made. I think the blast got Ebonaria too, and Beete, and... well I think we lost our Mockingjay.


	48. Chapter 48

**Hunger Games are not mine...**

* * *

At least that makes Peete or Johanna the winner. But I'm not sure where Johanna was, and I think I heard Peeta screaming at some point. Snow's right, even the strongest can't prevail I guess.

We tried, but failed. I think of Annie. Looking at my lifeless body right now.

"I'm sorry." I can move my lips a bit, but it doesn't help any. I force myself to grab a knife at my leg. I can barely move except for this one and final move. I dig the knife into my forearm. My arm starts to twitch, my whole body senses the attack. I reach my fingers down into the whole of blood and flesh. I fear I am touching my bone as my hands glaze over a hard material. I know I damaged the muscle. But it wasn't bone.

I rip the tracker out and try to throw it but can't. So I just let it roll off of my hand as I lay there. My last life effort, makes it look like I was killing myself. So at least when the Capitol sees it they'll think I died my own way.

I think about Peeta. His tracker is still in him. And then it snaps. My mind does. I feel a long and painful sensation run from my brain down my spine. Annie. That name consumes my mind and I start to cry. I am leaving her.

She will be hurt, and tortured. And now I am trapped in my thoughts. There's nothing to occupy my mind with. I only see, hear, and say one thing over and over again, Annie.

I close my eyes a bit as the tears consume them. I feel my body being lifted up. I pray it is Haymitch. I can't open my eyes again to see. I don't do this for a while. But I can feel everything. The tubes, the medicine. Hundreds of hands. I can't hear the voices. I just hear Annie's name and scream pound through my head as it keeps in tune to my heart and muddles out the other voices.

My breathing steadies and the machines I am hooked up to pump things into me. Are they trying to make me pretty before they show my death on TV in front of Annie, or will they make me watch her die first? Maybe I am too unsalvageable to even show on TV, to maimed and grotesque. Or, maybe Haymitch followed through and everyone's safe.

I feel a hand in mine. I force myself to look. I see the washed out face and long greasy hair, "Haymitch." I choke out.

"You're a fast healer Finnick," he sits me up and tries to direct me to a room. I try to smile, I don't understand how I am a 'fast healer' my whole body feels ready to fall off. I head into the room and see Plutarch. He smiles to me and now I am a little more confused.

"Sit Finnick," he smiles. I do so and Haymitch joins me. I stare blankly, readjusting to the life I had been given again.

"I knew your daughter was a little rebellious, but I never thought you would be too," I say quietly. I don't feel right in this world. Awake, something is ticking in my head that things are off.

"Rebexna? Ah, my daughter. I didn't know you knew her Finnick... except that one day I bought you for her birthday – but that was long ago. She always knows too much, I wonder what you told her. She loved investigating things... but this isn't about her Finnick. Let's talk the escape. I must say you did an excellent job."

"So everyone's okay?" I ask meekly staring into his fat round eyes.

Haymitch puts his hand on my shoulder. "They have Johanna. Peeta and Ebonaria." Ebonaria wasn't in on the plan and that doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that they have Johanna. They are going to torture her. She has information. Peeta doesn't, neither does Ebonaria. I want to burst into tears. I feel so emotional.

Haymitch's grip gets stronger, "Finnick. They have Annie as well. They arrested her when District 4 rebelled." My eyes grow wide and my breathing quickens. Tears come at a feverish pace and I can't stop them. My mind is in control, but it's fighting with the other half. Annie, now Annie, your love is being tortured as well.

I stand up, "No!" I plead. "We have to go back Haymitch, we have to get Annie." I pace around a bit, ringing my hands through my hair. It hurts to lift my arm over my head. I start coughing, like I am choking on my thoughts and tears. Haymitch sits me down. "Annie, we have to get Annie and Johanna. Please! Take me to District 4 or the Capitol, I have to go there, she can't be alone!" I plead and it sucks all my energy out of me.

"We can't get to Four Finnick. We can't do anything. I will put a request for her retrieval, but that's all I can do," I look at Plutarch, it sounds sincere.

"I'm going to kill myself." I moan as I cup my face in my hands. I mean it, and it weighs down on my heart.

"Finnick, don't be stupid. Doing that will just get her killed. As long as you're alive, she'll be alive too."

Just then, we are all stunned by the sight of Katniss in her nightgown, all beat up from the arena, holding a syringe at us.

"You and a syringe against the Capitol huh?" Haymitch looks at her with a glare, clearly he is used to dealing with her, "drop it. Sit. And eat."

Katniss sits at the table and her crazy eyes dart around at all of us. I just sit there and ring my hands through my hair. I am ready to die. I am ready for it all to be over.

Haymitch and Plutarch take turns explaining the whole thing to Katniss. I throw some points in where necessary. Katniss thinks that Johanna was trying to kill her when she cut open her arm, when really we all did it to get rid of the trackers. We explain how the bread was a signal for the day. How lots of Districts agreed to keep Katniss alive at all costs, and how that by keeping Peeta alive too, we'd keep her alive. But she's the face of a rebellion, she's a symbol.

"Where's Peeta?" She asked, those crazy eyes settling on Haymitch. No answer. She repeats again, "Where's Peeta?" Her voice getting more desperate.

"In the Capitol."

And then it happens. Katniss pounces on Haymitch and gouges at his eyes. I hold her down and help take her out of the room. She kicks my chest and I groan a bit. I remember the hideous stitches that are there right now.

They place her under sedation. I want to be sedated as well. Haymitch tries to console me, but it's useless. Annie is in pain, I know they are hurting her. I know it. They are breaking my mermaid even more. And that makes my pain unbearable.


	49. Chapter 49

**Mentally Unstable. Don't know if you guys have noticed but I am really interested in the human phsyc so I find the effect of the games on all of the victors really interesting. Just a side note. ) Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I rest for a few days, eventually the doctors get worried about me and when we land in District 13, the District that broke off from the Capitol during the last Rebellion, they place me in the Mental Ward of their hospital. I stop eating. I don't really move. District 13 is depressing, it survived since it had nuclear weapons and the Capitol feared them. Apparently they now live alone under ground and have been helping to fuel our new rebellion.

People rush around me, but don't really do anything with me. It's like they either don't expect me to heal, don't need me to heal, or just don't care. I get to wander where I want. I find Katniss's room, always filled with people seeing her, talking to her. I go in.

I grab her hand.

"I wanted to go back, for Johanna and Peeta, but I couldn't find them. Peeta doesn't know much so he won't be bothered. Johanna will have it rough though. She's strong. They're going to use Peeta like bait." The word makes me choke a bit. Bait, to lure us in so we can be killed along with our 'prize.'

Katniss stares into the ceiling, her next words sting like daggers, "Like they're doing for Annie, Finnick?"

The reality, I know it, but every time I hear it it hits me harder. I start to weep and ring my hands. "I wish she were dead. I wish I were dead. And I wish we were all dead. Then we'd be okay."

I wait for Katniss's reply telling me that's a bad idea, but there is none. And that scares me more. It terrifies me that she agrees with me. I leave. I head back to my room.

My little white square. Like a sugar cube. Things are much different underground, everyone is permitted only certain food, certain things to do each day. Not for the mentally unstable like Katniss and I. But it's an interesting world. I look at the mirror in my room. I see my face for the first time after the arena.

And now I know why no one cared to show me. I look horrible. My face is scarred and bruised with all sorts of shades. My chest has a large, hideous scar running across it. My body has loss some of its muscle mass and healthy glow from lack of nutrition and care. No wonder I've had no visitors. I am not the Finnick Odair on the TV. I am just an average looking person, a very beaten up one. I look at the image and cry. It's like what I am supposed to be for the Capitol, weak and broken. And I am.

Even my eyes. My sea green eyes. Look gray in the midst of it all. The Capitol has taken everything.

Something twitches in my mind. I start to fill with anger and sadness. And despair. I take my fist and punch the glass letting it shatter and fall to my feet. My hand is bleeding but I take the glass. I stare into it, looking at my distorted image.

I see a monster. I take the glass and try to kill the monster eating me. It eats at my hands, so I start there. I take the sharp edges and run it smoothly along my wrist. Watching the new red blood pool up and then fall. It doesn't feel like anything. I receive no satisfaction and I assume the monster is still there.

But its not as if I am facing a Mutt. I see a monster, sure, but one that needs to be killed one piece at a time. I gently and carefully cut another line. I feel hands on me. I take the glass and cut faster, ignoring my previous thoughts. More hands appear. It's killing me, all of it.

The glass is ripped from my hands and I am thrown on to a bed and my other hand is being suppressed by a bar while the other is being bandaged. Why are they helping the monster? Why are they trying to save what isn't salvageable? I start to cry. Loudly. I scream, and the tears fall.

Then I feel a little tickling in my wrist and the world starts to disappear from me. All of it, even my mind. And then I know what it is. It's morphling. It feels so good, partially, because I can't think straight right now. I enjoy the world of darkness, where no pain follows me. Tumble and River had it good.

...

Slowly the world goes from blackness to grayness, to fuzziness. I make out a little girl sitting in a chair at the side of my bed. She has blond hair and reminds me of Katniss a bit. If Katniss could ever look like an angel.

I attempt to sit up, but I am strapped to the bed. There are straps on my wrists, which are bandaged, and my forearm. I notice one on my chest that has a light towel underneath so's not to provoke my scar. There's another one on my hips that really bothers me, it lays heavily on my bladder. The moment I wake up I want to die again, it was smart of them to tie me up.

The little girl, hasn't noticed me waking up yet. She scribbles on a sheet and erases. Maybe she wants my autograph. A tall woman, with a sad face comes in, her hair is dark and a little gray.

"Morning, Odair." She says fixing some tubes into my arms and writing on the sheet above my bed. My mind is a mush. I don't know which feelings to follow. Keeping me locked up isn't helping. I need to move around. I need to be doing something.

"I need to go to the bathroom," I say, in as much of a sane voice I can muster. I bat my eyelashes. She comes over and leans by me, laughing almost. It annoys me.

"I don't think so... not so fast." She pats on my stomach, gently and spreads out my hospital smock. Like a mother almost. "If you need to do your business we can leave and you can do so in the pan beneath you."

I blush. I feel embarrassed. A wave of hopelessness falls over me. Not even sane enough to go to the bathroom on my own. Maybe I don't want to kill myself anymore. These thoughts and feelings flash so quickly. I can hardly move, but this metal pan is very uncomfortable.

"Well, what about my hands. I would like to eat some food." I try again, acting as charming as I can.

"Oh, you'd like to eat now? That's good, you need the strength. But don't worry I can hand feed you." She dodges the plea again. There's a faint beeping in another room. "I'll be right back." She turns quickly to the girl writing, I had forgotten her, "Primrose, finish your homework." She steps out of the room.

When she leaves the little girl's eyes peak out at me and then she nervously raises the book higher. I chuckle a little. She doesn't seem bad.

"What are you writing?" I ask. The little girl looks at me suspiciously. Like the crazy is just an act I am putting on. In reality, the crazy, it just comes from time to time... I can't cope it yet.

"I'm doing a report for school on medical treatments." She puts down her pencil. "My mom is a head nurse here, I want to be one too. Soon." She smiles and takes the paper, "Will you proof-read it." She holds it in front of me and I feel abashed. I can't read very well. The words just jumble on the page and tangle with each other. They're very long too. Short passages I can manage... but medical terms? I draw a blank. "Could you read it aloud? I want to hear what it sounds like from another person." I wonder if Snow knew my reading skills weren't that good. He never put difficult words in his letters. When a victor wins, they don't have to work anymore... or go to school. I was 14, and always on my father's ship, school was not my thing.

I take a deep breath, what do I have to lose? I am already at the utter most bottom part of my life. "A medical re-" I stumble a bit. I start to sweat a bit and clench my fists. "ree... reess..." I hiss the 's' and try to figure out the rest. "resaarsh." I smile hoping it is correct.

"Research," she smiles back at me. I want to slap myself. I know what it is, I say it all the time, but why is it so hard to read?

I start again, "A medical research, by Primrose Everdeen... Everdeen?" She giggles.

"Yes, Katniss is my sister," she looks in my eyes and then jumps up, "Oh! Thank you for saving her for me. You're a gentleman."

"So you're the little girl she volunteered for?" I smile at her now. I would volunteer for her too, she reminds me of Annie, so pure and innocent. That's what Katniss and I do, protect the pure as we, ourselves, delve deeper into our own darkness. Primrose nods quietly. I look at the sheet again, I ponder changing the subject again.

"Through my research, I have dis – cov – er – ed..."

"Discovered."

"I knew that." I nervously retort. "Through my research, I have discovered that the humane,"

"Human."

I start to get frustrated as I begin the sentence for a third time, "Through my research, I have discovered that the human self-..." I stop. What the hell is this monster of a word. "con – sea -oos." Primrose looks at me strangely and I know I was far off from the word.

"Finnick, do you recall ever hitting your head in the arena?" Is she making fun of me?

"No," I shrug. I gaze down at the floor, not wanting to make eye contact.

"I thought maybe you had a concussion. Since you don't seem to be pronouncing these words correctly. If that's the case then we just won't stress you mentally for a few weeks, but we'll do some tests and see and -"

"I haven't really learned how to read since I was 10." I interject. My jaw is clenched. I feel so ashamed. Twenty-four and can't even read a 14 year old's homework paper.

Primrose looks at me. She takes my hand, very gently. "I wasn't making fun of you, I just thought wrong. Finnick." She gets red in her cheeks a bit, "I would help you learn if you wanted too."

"What?" I ask, not one hundred percent sure of what she means. She brushes her hair back and giggles.

"Only if you were up for it? I could, help you learn." She just whispers it a bit. "It'd get you out of your head I think. And reading is loads of fun. I read everyday." I laugh. She makes a pout with her lip, "and why is that funny?"

"Nothing I can just tell. You're a smart girl."

She regains her previous demeanor, "I just think that a guy with such a vast vocabulary, who writes such lovely poetry, should be able to read what he says." There's a twinkle in her eyes, "Never be afraid to learn Finnick. Your language skills are beautiful, now there's only one more thing to work on." She grins.

I sigh, "When do we begin?"

"Primrose? Why are you pestering Mr. Odair?" Dr. Everdeen walks in on the scene of her daughter leaning over my bed. She eyes us carefully. "Why don't you go back to the room and do your homework there?"

"She wasn't bothering me."

"I'm helping him learn to rea-"

"She's helping me learn to deal with my head." I nod to her, "she's a great psychiatrist."

"Yep, that's it mom." Primrose smiles.

"Alright, but get your things Prim, I need to heat this up for Mr. Odair and then you and I are heading back to talk to Katniss."

"How is she?" I ask, I really do wonder. Is she as messy as me? Or as hopeless?

"She's fine Mr. Odair. Thank you for taking care of her. You're a good man." She says leaving the room.

Prim looks at me and smirks like a cat, "Can you spell psychiatrist Finnick?" She giggles.

I roll my eyes, "Why don't you just scurry out of here."

"Sorry, it's just what I mean though, you know all these words... if you could put them on paper. Maybe you could be an author! The Splendors of the Capitol. The Capitol Psych. All written by Finnick Odair." She pauses, "I'd buy them."

"Primrose!" Dr. Everdeen yells from another room. She waves goodbye. I look at my wrists. What was that? For a few minutes I was me. Just like Annie, she returns for a few minutes and then she's gone again. Are we the same now? Oh god, Annie. Her name triggers a head ache and I start sweating feverishly.

It hurts so much, and these restraints. They're like snakes trying to suffocate me. Snow looks like a snake. Snow is trying to suffocate me. I try slamming my head on the back of the head board.

"Leave me!" I yell at the snakes and the darkness. My entire body starts shaking. I am having a mental attack, I am fighting myself. It's like everything has turned on me, refusing my orders.


	50. Chapter 50

**Little Prim and Finnick bonding... it's not all about Katniss! ) Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

But I don't receive any morphling. Just another drug. One that phases out the world, but doesn't bring the same sweet peace that morphling does. I wake up to the blond hair again. She smiles.

"Did you have a nice rest Finnick? I bet you were dreaming of home." She's wearing a different outfit, not what the normal residents wear, it's another outfit that the nurses wear. She goes about the room fixing things here and there, then she sits next to me, "I begged President Coin to let me work on becoming a nurse. It was a lot of work, but everyone liked my report. How are you feeling?"

I rub my head and croak out, "I've been better."

She gives a sad look, "Any chance you want to learn? You don't have to, I was just wondering." She pauses and thinks about something, she opens her mouth to say it and then doesn't. She tries again, "I think one of your problems is that you're left to your own devices. But you shouldn't be afraid to get help. To be distracted. I don't know what it's like for you. I don't pretend too. You're probably in hell aren't you? I can't even comprehend that. But I can make it better if you let me. Just tell me what you need."

She smiles at me, glowing almost with the light reflecting off her white uniform. I start to cry a bit. She stands up and I try to catch her arm, but the restraint prevents it. "No," I call out, sounding more desperate then I intended. "No, I am just happy. Not hurt or sad. What I need right now." I think about it, "What I need right now is to learn how to read better."

Prim's face lights up and she goes to her bag and gets some papers. I really appreciate her. I wonder if Annie feels me becoming a bit happier. Maybe she made it possible for this girl to come and help me. She's not like the others, who pretend my case is just like any other. She understands that all the cases are different. And I need special help. That's right, Finnick, you need help. Don't be afraid to ask for it. But isn't it wrong for a grown man to be so broken?

Prim pulls a chair up to me and presses a button on the bed that brings me up a bit. I look at her beaming face. She stacks the papers and looks through them again. "Right! I was thinking maybe we could start with some Shakespeare!"

"Who? What..."

"He lived a _long _time ago, but his plays and poems are famous. A little difficult, but we'll focus on articulation and comprehension today. You already know most of the words, so I think it's important just to work on matching sounds to letters. You know the alphabet already?"

"Yea, a, b, c, d, e, f -"

"That's good. Do you know spelling."

I shrug, "Honestly it was never my strong suit, but a little bit."

She smiles. "Great, I'll bring some other materials for tomorrow. I have all day Finnick."

"Alright teacher Primrose!" I playfully joke.

"We'll start here," she points to a line and holds it so we can both see it.

I follow her finger and read, "Oh Miss-ter-ess mine, where are you roaming?"

"Mistress." She smiles, encouraging me to read on. I follow her finger as it points to the letters and I formulate the words.

"Oh, stay and hear; your true love's coming," I smile widely.

"Finnick! That's perfect! One whole line!" She pats my wrist. I am actually filled with pride. I eagerly try to read the rest, like a puppy that was thrown a bone, I want more recognition.

"That can sing both high and low. Treep no further, pretty sh-wee-thing." I stare at the words and try them again, but fail to get them right on my tongue from the letters. It is so much easier to listen to someone. The minute Prim tells me the words, I always understand.

"Trip and sweeting. It's okay though, that was a hard one." She places her hand on the page and I am a little less enthusiastic.

"Your-nee-yas end in lovers meeting," I look at Prim. She tells me to try one more time with that line, "Jour-ne-ys end in lovers meeting?" She nods happily. "What's to come is still un-swa-ure..." Before she even says a thing I fix myself, "unsure!" She has a proud look in her eyes. "In deelaey there lees knot plenty."

"In delay there lies not plenty." She reads perfectly. I repeat and she asks me to finish the poem.

"Then, come kiss me, sweet and twa-en-tey, You-," I try to formulate the 'th sound that gives me trouble, "tha's a stuff will not en-doo-re." I scrunch my nose at the sentence and wait for Prim to correct me.

"Then, come kiss me, sweet and twenty, youth's a stuff will not endure. Can you pronounce 'youth' again Finnick. Look at how it is written 'YOU' and the 'th'. You make the sound everyday. I know it looks weird on the paper. Try it though," she pronounces and enunciates the stark 'th' sound and I try to rack it in my brain and connect the sound to the letter formation. "Now, did you understand the reading?"

"To be honest, I was not paying attention." I read through it again. _Oh Mistress mine, where are you roaming? _Well the woman, or mistress that this man loves is off, away from him. _Oh, stay and hear; your true love's coming. _He wants the girl to wait for him, or for her to come back to him.  
_That can sing both high and low. Trip no further, pretty sweeting._ I ask Prim about these lines. She explains that is common language for the time it was written. She does her best to translate. It could mean the lover has a beautiful voice, or it is figurative. I think it means that even though they've had good times and bad, it's no problem for their love. Prim thinks that is a good interpretation. _Journeys end in lovers meeting. _With the journey they've taken separately to each other, it ends when they meet. So they can make a new one together. _What's to come is still unsure. In delay there lies not plenty. _Whatever comes from their new journey, they really don't know. But there's no time to waste and they have to start their journey together soon. _Then, come kiss me, sweet and twenty, youth's a stuff will not endure. _Then they should come and kiss now, until they grow old. Loving each other for the time they still have together.

Prim looks at me, and she looks worried. I am worried too, but for another reason. The poem is beautiful. It reminds me of Annie and I. She was lost, I am lost, we are trying to find each other again. And are we running out of time. A quarter of our lives could be gone by now, and we're separated. Separated. The word makes me feel lonely. I start to cry a bit. Just weeping silently. Until my brain plays more tricks on me and flashes Annie before my mind. Then I start to wail.

Large men in nurse uniforms come in as I go into a violent fit in my bed. They direct Prim out of the room and she has a sorry look on her face.

"I won't bring love poems next time, I think the old language was too hard for him too, I wasn't thinking mom..." That's all I hear as the large men put the drugs into my body again. Darkness. So much of it to explore, but so little time. I wonder how often we see it. We close our eyes a lot to shut out the light. But, we never keep them closed long enough to venture into the darkness. See what world lies beyond our eyes.


	51. Chapter 51

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I see the blond head, and a large man in white. I roll my head to side to side. And moan a little. My body is sore, not from my fit, more like these restraints and being confined to the bed.

Prim reads my mind, "We're going to go on a little walk today Finnick." I try to smile, but it's hard for me. "I figured you'd like that," she says nodding to the large man. He comes over and unlocks my restraints. I notice that the bandages on my wrist are gone, the only thing that remains is a nasty looking scab-turning-scar. I move my body a bit. Thankful to be able to stretch my knees. I start at the bottom of my body and go up. I wiggle my toes a bit, move my calves, stretch my thighs. Then I put my hands behind my head and stretch my chest. The scar hurts, I notice there are a few stitches missing, so it's healing as well. I guess eating for Prim and Dr. Everdeen is paying off, I feel better. I still don't trust my head, but my body is healing. My body thinks it's time to move on.

I put my foot on the ground and move through my sugar cube.

"Where would you like to go?" She asks. I look at her reluctantly.

"The bathroom."

We both laugh a bit. My laugh sounds awkward and a bit twisted, but I mean well. I walk into the bathroom and the guard follows me. I grimace at him a bit. No break downs today Finn. I say to myself. I notice that all the mirrors, or reflective surfaces have been taken out of my room. Everything is a bit padded too.

Luckily I just have to water my hose, so it's not that embarrassing to do in front of this man. I guess I had been releasing my bowels and doing the same exact thing in my bed where nurses had to deal with it... but I still feel awkward doing anything in front of another person. I look down.

The red marks seem to be gone. I wonder if they have given me medication for the little welts. I am happy. That was a piece of the Capitol on me and now it is gone. I head back out.

Prim takes my hand and something warm registers in my heart. Though I know Prim is older then me by years mentally, I've come to the realization that the Games have stunted my growth, she's still so young that I feel protective of her. But when her hand is in mine, it feels so small and breakable. Like Annie's. I hold it tightly, like a father. Only 10 years separate us, but those 10 years have turned me into a lunatic, and her into a maturing wonderful woman. Seeing her reminds me of Annie, but in a good way.

In a way that makes me want to fight for her. To fight for her as if she were my child and the Capitol planned on taking her away from me for the Games. I'm not a parent yet. But there's no way a child of mine would grow up with something as inhumane as the games hanging over their head.

We walk slowly around the hospital, it's not very big. There's a little waiting room, with old books. I see Beetee sitting there. I walk over to him and Prim sits me down. The guard is still looming over us but he seems more relaxed. I smile.

"Feeling better Finnick?" He asks. He looks more hurt then anyone. Though it shouldn't surprise me, he is the most fragile I would assume. He sits in a big metal wheelchair. He peers towards me through his glasses.

I start feeling a little anxious. I start tapping my fingers on my legs. And looking around. The room feels really cold all of a sudden. I start tapping my foot too. Prim reaches over and holds my hand. It's like she's sending me a mental order to stay calm. I can't ruin this. I don't want to be back in that bed. "Good," I choke out as I put my hand to my mouth and start chewing on a nail. I feel very tense all of a sudden. "What are you doing Beetee? Healing too?" I ask, wavering on words. I feel something coming, like I'm about to burst again.

"I've been helping President Coin. I've developed things to help our people against the Capitol. I can't walk much but I use my mind and contribute the best I can." He eyes me carefully. I find it remarkable, he's already back in the swing of things. Like nothing ever happened.

"I learned to read," I strain out. I sound like a child, failing to outdo my older sibling by a landslide. What have I done? Sit in bed, cry, try to kill myself, and cry. Everyone thinks I am a lost cause. Even Beetee. He seems to read my mind almost.

"Keep getting better Finnick. It's nice to see you walk around. I need to be heading back down to Command. It's nice that you're stimulating your mind too. Distractions are very helpful to the struggling human psych." He gives Prim and I a smile, I just return with a confused look. He pulls out a large foot of rope. "Can you make some knots for me Finnick? Just make them and untie them. I made a bet that you can make over 500,000 knots on that piece of rope. I don't like losing Finnick, so get to it!" I catch a smile under his face as he wheels away and throws the rope in my lap. "Distractions, Finnick!" He yells as he enters an elevator, I hear him chuckling.

I notice I stopped my twitching. Distractions. What do I do for a distraction?

I take the rope in my hands and run over the tightly wound pieces. It feels like home. I start, a little rusty at first. Prim watches me intently. She doesn't watch just my hands, she also watches me eyes. I show off one of the hardest knots that I know.

"Your sister spent 30 minutes trying to that once," I laugh as I untie it and make another one. The rope on my fingers feels comforting. Prim lets me continue. I count the knots till 100. Then I look at her.

"One hundred a day is a good goal Finnick." I look at back at her.

"I won't just do one hundred, those were just the warm-ups! I want to see some more..." She nods happily. We get up and walk around some more, this time venturing further then the hospital. I continue making little knots and looping them around my fingers. There's a grand dinning hall, not really grand, just big, and a little depressing with people dressed in the same thing and all gray. I bet the Capitol refugees hate it.

I see a familiar face and head over to it pulling out a knot just before. Prim smiles and tells me she'll meet me in a bit, since her wrist reads lunch. She also recommends I should eat too. I look at the short brown braid and give a strong hug from behind her. She turns and is surprised.

"Hey Finnick," Katniss says. I see she's eating with her cousin Gale. She offers me a seat next to them. My eyes feel like they're wide and I study the features of the room. I can't really seem to focus on just one thing. So I look down at my rope and start knotting again and listen as Katniss asks, "how are you feeling?" She is trying to be nice. I guess she sees what a mess I am.

"I'm... alright. I keep thinking about Annie you know. I'm sure Peeta is on your mind all the time. It just consumes me." I twitch a little, "but I'm getting better. I really am." I start to feel really bad. Katniss, Beetee, they both hit in the blast I was, so why are they already so much better? "I bet I could go out right now and fight." I try to joke. Katniss laughs a little to humor me. She puts her hand on my arm. And I stop knotting the rope.

"Annie will be alright Finnick. I am going to ask Coin if she can put her on the list of victors who will be granted pardon." I didn't even know there was a list. I guess I've missed a lot.

"You're that important to the President already?" There's sadness in my voice. No one seemed to care that much about me. But I guess Finnick Odair is kind of the face of the Capitol. So I am really no Mockingjay. I look over at Katniss's cousin.

He's certainly got a face, gray eyes, black hair, and dark skin... well cut too. I notice he has a cuff on his wrist that reads he is a commander of some sort. I feel really useless compared to everyone else. Trapping myself in my own net of knots.

"We haven't met," he says holding out his hand. I guess my staring freaked him out. But the one good thing about my hospital gown is that everyone has a sympathy for me. They all know I'm not all there in the head. I'd like to change that though. "I'm Gale Hawthorne." I shake his hand a little shakily.

"Finnick Odair," I try to grin, but there's nothing to grin about. He looks me over and then at Katniss. Katniss looks at her beeping watch. She gets up and says goodbye to us and I wave as she departs.

"You're from District 4? They're pretty valuable in the rebellion. Thanks for protecting Katniss. In the Games I mean. I've heard stories about you but you seem a lot different in person. I've been trying to get a team together to go save the victors in the Capitol." My eyes grow more and more interested and I find I am able to focus on Gale more clearly. He seems to want to pull me in. "You see, Katniss hasn't been doing great knowing Peeta's in the Capitol. District 12 was destroyed in a bombing. You weren't well at the time so I don't think anyone told you..." He pauses and looks me over again, "tell you what. When you're feeling up for it, and your doctors clear it, why don't you come to a command meeting with me. I'm sure you have some ideas. Katniss works with propaganda and I'm sure they'd love to also have a famous victor like you." He smiles at me, flashing me his beeping bracelet. "So long Odair, get healthy for me buddy." It's so genuine. I was never treated so nicely before by anyone. There are some incredible people in District 12.

Prim comes over and directs me back to my room, "I was supposed to bring you back sooner, but you seemed so happy talking to Gale and Katniss."

I laugh, "Your cousin is very nice." Prim stops and laughs, loudly. I feel like she's making fun of me again.

She comes to wipe a tear, "Finnick, there is so much you don't know, I'm sorry. The Capitol made that up, that he's our cousin, because, well, she was supposed to be in love Peeta. But no one really knows who she loves."

"I do."

Prim looks at me like I'm lying.

"I'm serious. I saw her, and I know what love looks like. That girl is in love with Peeta whether she knows it or not."


	52. Chapter 52

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

Prim smirks a bit and I am delivered to my room. After seeing the others I feel more driven to get better. Prim and I read together some more and walk around a bit. I feel stronger. The rope is really helping me, it's as if it blocks out all of my thoughts, and after a week and a half I am up to 100,000 knots. The guard stopped following Prim and I around a while ago. Her and I talk all the time. I really like her, I am as protective over her as Katniss.

And it's funny, being the one to give secrets rather then take them. I explain to her that the reason I never learned much was because of the boys at my school, how they despised me. And Prim, being wise beyond her years, told me that they were jealous, just like Mags and Grandma C. I tell her all about fishing with my father, and how I never got to school because of that as well. She says learning is unique, you don't have to be a child to do it, you're always free to it. I like how she makes me feel, not ashamed for my ignorance, which she just calls my weak points.

I feel like telling Beetee about my success this week with the rope and decide to head out. Prim left me a while ago, to go to bed. She has a test tomorrow. Sometimes she tells me that the others kids don't talk to her since she's so much smarter then they are. I return her own advice... but before I head out I still check with the lady at the front desk to see if I can walk around.

"Of course Sweetie!" She has big bright orange hair, the kind people in the Capitol would pay millions for. She's plump and not very pretty but she's very nice. She looks under her desk and grabs something. "Make sure you have that rope with you though. Keep your thoughts at bay." She smiles handing me some rope. She always offers me some, even though the piece from Beetee never leaves my hand.

"I've got it already," I smile. And I head off. I've explored most of District 13 now, the underground part at least. There's the hospital, the school where sometimes I wait for Prim, even though she spends most of her time in the hospital anyways rising into the ranks of the nurses. There's the dining hall, Prim says I'm not alright enough to go there by myself yet. I make my way further down the bright white halls and see a sign on a metal door. _Command._

I knock on the door and a middle-aged man with a name tag that says "Boggs" comes to answer it. He looks me over.

"I don't think you belong here, we can have an escort take you back." He starts to motion to someone and I see Haymitch at the table.

"Haymitch!" I yell, waving into the room as he looks up at me, confused. I duck under Boggs and enter the room. Plutarch is there, and a very mean and old woman is staring coldly at me. I sit in front of Haymitch.

"Finnick, I don't think you're supposed to be here." He says calmly. I notice that a few large men are standing behind me.

"No, I am! They said I could walk around, they said I was a gentleman, and that I am getting much better!" I say proudly. Haymitch only smirks a little. I hadn't noticed until now that there is no alcohol on District 13. Maybe that's why Haymitch seems so old and crass right now. His eyes move towards the old woman standing at my side.

"Nice to meet you Finnick Odair, I don't have time to head to the hospital, but we've heard a lot about you and what you've done, I think we can at least have a formal introduction together." She holds out her hand, but something doesn't feel right. She takes back her hand and stands very solidly at my side. "I am President Coin, I run things around here in District 13." I nod slowly and start to knot my rope again.

"What is it you have there Finnick?" Haymitch asks me gently again. I look up, starting to get worried and anxious.

I laugh awkwardly. "Um, Beetee gave it to me, he told me if I tie 500,000 knots that he'd win a bet, and Haymitch!" I enunciate his name a little loudly, "I'm at 100,000 already!" I smile widely and he gives a chuckle in amusement.

"You ready Boggs? If we want to get to the Districts and get the shots we need we'll have to leave now. Katniss is still getting ready to board." Gale has just walked in wearing a military uniform. He looks over at me for a minute and back at Boggs.

I start getting excited. Finally there's some action! "I am coming to!" I stand up smiling.

"Absolutely not Finnick," Haymitch says in his usual voice. "You are no where near ready for something like this." I give him a saddened look, "And your little puppy-dog look doesn't work when it looks like you've just escaped the mental ward." He spits the words cruelly at me. I am waiting for him to finish, I am waiting for him to say, 'but you already have.'

I get upset. I am ready, it's just my head, only a little piece of my head. My body is better. I give Haymitch a mad glare and dart out of the room and up some stairs to the outside area of District 13. I can feel some people following me. I just make my way to the hovercraft and see Katniss starting to board. She will be on my side.

"Katniss! They're not letting me go with you guys!" I start to instinctively tie the knots again, not even counting them. I sound so desperate in my plea. Gale and Boggs walk past me and there are two escorts from the Command room waiting for me.

Katniss slaps her face a little, in a way an adult would do to humor a child. "I forgot Finnick! Beetee made a trident for you! It's down in the Weapon Room!"

A trident?! My entire body lights up. A trident, I know that and it knows me. Nothing has ever changed there, that's home. "I better get down there!" I eagerly yell as the crew surrounds Katniss watching the show. I watch her eyes look over me.

"Maybe some pants Finnick?"

I look down and for the first time in these few weeks I notice how ridiculous I look in the hospital gown. How sad and injured it seems. I look at Katniss smiling. I smile too. I rip off the gown and strike a pose where I place my arms on the back of my head and stick out my crotch more. Showing off my underwear. Katniss is laughing hysterically. "Why? Do you find this..." I flip my hair and bring one finger up to my lip and pull it down a bit as I wink, "distracting?"

"I'm only human Odair!" She heads into the hovercraft and I gladly walk back inside the homes of District 13, leaving my gown in the grass. The outside air feels really nice on my bare skin. But cold. I head to the elevator. The escorts must have felt the interaction with Katniss meant I wasn't going to go crazy and they let me head downstairs.

...

I greet Beetee with a large smile as his eyes grew wide at the sight of me in my underwear. I don't care. This is the Finnick everyone loves, hell this is the Finnick I am! I think about it for a minute, just to double check. Beetee hands me the trident he's been working on and feeling it to my touch, I am sure of it. _This is_ the Finnick I am.

He shows me the training area, "Now Finnick, you just came out of the hospital and chances are some of your muscles or skills have deteriorated, so don't stress if things aren't the way they usually ar-"

A target pops up and with impeccable skill I throw it quickly through the eyes of the manican. The other scientists take interest in it. Beetee looks at me with big eyes. I go to giddily retrieve the trident but Beetee stops me, "Here Finnick, you can call the trident back with the button on your wrist so you don't have to always retrieve it." I energetically press the button and the trident flies into my hands. I am amazed with this technology and indulge myself in the art of destroying things.

I have a crowd of scrawny men watching me, taking notes. Beetee notes my incredible physique that hasn't deteriorated at all, granted that I hardly do any exercise or eat enough for my size. I start to smile, but it's different than what I've done recently. It's a normal, Finnick smile, not a crazy depressed one.

I don't even feel depressed. While I throw the trident I feel nothing but happiness, happiness there is something reminding me of home and distracting me. The nurse who works the front desk comes to fetch me. She has some rope in her hands and is surprised to see me sweating and hitting things with a trident so perfectly. She greets me like she always does.

"Katniss is back and would like to have dinner with you, and no protesting Mr! You need a good meal!" She smiles offering me her arm. I start walking off with the trident but Beetee stops me.

"It will be here when you want to use it friend," he smiles. "How's my bet going? Jason over here thinks it's pointless." Jason smiles and waves a bit in the background.

"No no! I am winning Beetee! I've done 150,000 so far... I'll – I'll do more today too!" I start knotting and am taken to my room where Prim is standing. She seems sad a bit.

"I thought Katniss and I..." I begin, Prim just runs to hug me.

"Is it selfish that I'm upset with how much better you're getting? I love reading with you and having a friend... but this isn't your room anymore. Your new room is in the regular hospital. I'll still check on you, but you're just getting so much better." I smile and hold her tightly.

"Thanks for everything Little Angel. I hope you do come to visit me all the time!" We both walk to my new room. There's nothing to move at all so I just come with my rope and sit down in the bed. A new nurse comes in with my meal, and Katniss is quickly brought in and placed on a bed. She seems a little hurt, but doing alright.

"How was it?" I ask, I'm not hungry and I decide to tie my rope instead. She stares blankly at me. A little ransacked. She blinks a little and then turns back to me.

"It was horrible Finnick. So many useless deaths." She shakes her head, "we're supposed to see the promo." She clicks on the TV and there's a broadcast quickly interrupted by Katniss's promo. She went to where a large rebel hospital was and tried to get some good shots of her saying things, and now Beetee hacked the system and is broadcasting our rebel promo.

It's interesting. There are lots of flames and Mockingjays. It starts off with people in the hospital getting really excited to see her, touching her and cheering for her. Then they cut to the hospital as it is burned to the ground by the Capitol and shots of Katniss making speeches, yelling at President Snow. She seems so angry, and it looks real. That's what she really needs, real footage.

Then it cuts with her moving closer to the camera in a fiery rage screaming, "If we burn, you burn with us."

It's powerful and no doubt grabbed attention. I look at Katniss. She seems depressed by it. It seems a little ridiculous to me too. Like she's only an actress playing the part of a Mockingjay, not really a Mockingjay herself – but I know she can be one when she wants to be.

I talk to her a bit about the trident. And she seems happy that I seem more like myself. I try to console her, telling her that with distractions she can ignore the bad. And then we see it. Peeta is on the screen with Ceaser.

He looks bruised and abused and the Capitol isn't trying to cover it. He seems to plead with Katniss to stop the rebellion. He asks her to think about other people other then herself and how it could affect everyone. The program ends and Katniss just looks at me. I shake my head.

"We didn't see it." I say blatantly and I grab her arm. "We turned off the TV during the propo because the images upset you. Okay? Now eat..." If they find out we saw it they'll think we're going off the deep end again. And they'll think Katniss will never trust Coin again... which is likely, but not good for them to know. Katniss nods. "If they ask, we saw the promo, shut off the TV and started eating again." She nods again.

We try to strike up a normal conversation again, but she's a little weary. I try to cheer her up, "You know your sister and I pretty good friends." I wink.

She rolls her eyes, but grins a little, "she always did have a crush on you Odair."

"Lots of girls do... did you... when you were younger?" I playfully flirt with her. She throws a fork at my head and I laugh. Plutarch comes in to check on us and we stay with our plan, I even resist knotting my rope when he comes to look at me. I just smile like I was impressed with the promo. We start to talk about how good Gale looked and how powerful the message was. Katniss eats by the handfuls. I throw in that I want to be a part of the next one too. He leaves, everyone ignored Peeta.

"Wanna go outside Finnick?" She asks after we're sure Plutarch is gone. I nod and we head outside. I can't believe she gets to do whatever she wants but, I guess a strong tall male is a lot more dangerous then a little girl who can shoot straight but needs a bow.

The trees sway softly and the air is a little cold but we both venture out. Katniss seems at home. We get a little far and Katniss stops, looking at the trackers they put on us before we were allowed out. We take them off and leave them under a bush.

"Can we talk Finnick?" She asks. We've moved quite a far distance away from the trackers now. I like not having them shoved in my arm.

I nod, "Whatever you want." We sit by a river and watch the little fish swim by. I wave to them and look at Katniss.

"I'm worried about Peeta."

"Me too, and Johanna and Annie."

Katniss adds, "yea, them too." She seems far off, in another place.

"Has anyone asked you about the video with Peeta?" I ask. She nods her head no. "I haven't heard anything either." I look at her, "Gale didn't say anything?"

"No."

"Maybe he's waiting for the right time."

"And you seem better Finnick. I can see it. I thought the reason you had such a good tan was because you were from District 4, but you haven't been in the sun for so long and you still have that tan... I think it's just a healthy glow." She smiles.

"And I would have thought by counting the times you've been on fire, that you would have no braid left, but you do." I smirk back. We stay outside for a while and she shoots a large deer. I haul it back inside and Katniss hugs me.

"It's nice to have the old Finnick back."

...

When I head in again I try to readjust to life once again. I try to stray from thinking too much, one day Prim comes into my room while I am working on my 245,678th knot. I look at her, her face is seems so happy. She takes my hands.

"Could you do something for me?" She asks in such a sweet voice. I give her a 'come-on-really?' look and we both giggle.

"Anything my love." She blushes to an unbelievable shade of pink. I seem to have caught her off guard.

"Your reading is incredible now Finnick, could you come with me and make an appearance at my school... the little kids you see," she giggles, "why not read them a children's book?"

The idea sounds amazing, "Of course I will Annie." I said it, and I can't take it back. Prim just looks at me for a long time. And I stare at my hands. "Prim." I squeak out, trying to erase the messages in mind, stay sane, please stay sane. "Of course I will Prim." I say it but not very convincingly, so I say it again loudly, "Of course I will!" That seems to have both of us convinced. I tuck the rope away just in case.

I head down to the school, I've stopped wearing the hospital gown and now wear the same clothes as everyone else. Prim says if I keep this up that I may get a daily schedule like the others. We walk towards the school and all the kids start to look at me. I notice Prim wearing a very proud smile. I put my arm around her shoulder and wave to the children and I smile.

"Everyone looks up to you," Prim starts whispering. I wonder how this is possible, but Prim is not a liar. We walk into a room with the youngest class and no one in their right mind could help but smile. Even Snow would take these tykes into his arms.

The teacher, a plain woman, introduces me to the class and tells Prim to head back to her lessons, I wave goodbye. The little children look up at me with big eyes. I love children. The teacher asks me to pick out a book and I pick the one called "The Fisherman and the Mermaid." Very fitting, I know.

I scoop up one of the little boys with wild brown hair and sit him on my lap. He keeps looking at me, like I might not be real. I open the book and read the words clearly and slowly. More for my benefit then the kids, but I am fairly confident I can do this.

I begin, "Once upon a time, there was a little man, in a little house, by the great big sea." I flash the picture to the children of the tiny sailor and the beautiful ocean. I turn the page, "He was always called out to the sea to go fishing for his small town. One day while on his boat, he got tossed around," I show the picture of the little man getting thrown around in the boat with a silly expression, the kids laugh with me. "He was tossed over-board!" I show the picture and feign a surprised expression. They love it. "When he was finally able to swim to shore, he noticed something. This was not his little house, and small town, by the big great sea! This was another island!" I show the new island, it's very tropical and reminds me of the Quarter Quell. "The man was sad and he thought he heard a little girl singing. When he went to in-" Oh no. I can't say it. My mind racks for all the rules Prim told me, but I can't remember. I can't sound it out, if I sound it out they'll laugh at me.

The teacher comes over and puts her hand on my shoulder, "Let's all help say the word with Mr. Odair." She writes it on the black board and points to the letters. She could have just whispered the word and I would have been fine, but now she's embarrassing... wait, she's not. I should feel no shame in front of these children, they won't think anything of it. I pronounce the word with the class.

"In-vest-e-gate," we all say together, she smiles at me to continue. I look at the page, stronger then ever, "When he went to investigate, he found the prettiest girl he had ever seen. But her tail was like a fish! He knew what she was!" I wait for the suspension to grow and ask the children what they think. I laugh at some of their ideas.

"A pirate!"

"A monkey!"

"A unicorn!"

I turn the page and show the pretty picture of the half-woman, half-fish. They love it. "A mermaid!" I pronounce it with lots of enthusiasm. We keep going, "the mermaid asked the man to follow her and she repaired his ship for him. Then she helped him on his way, and they waved goodbye. Now, everyday, in the little fisherman's little house by the little town, and the great big sea he hears his mermaid friend calling and knows it is time to fish, the end." I close the book and smile. All the children laugh and the one on my lap gives me a hug. I hold him tightly.

"Alright now say goodbye to -"

The class moans with no's.

"Please Miss Melanie, let him play with us!" The other kids back each other up and she turns to me, she says it's up to me. I look down at the big adorable eyes of the children.

"Of course I will!" I say scooping three of them up at a time. They all take my hand and direct me in other directions. I promise them they'll all get a turn. One girl shows me her dolls.

"Would you like to brush her hair Mr. Odair?" She asks. I give her a smile and sit next to her taking delicate and careful strokes. Then I start to braid it with knots. A group of girls looks at the braid in amazement. Their mouths form perfect o's.

"Do my doll's hair!" "No mine!" "Mine!"

"I'll do them all!" I laugh and the kids cheer. Doll after doll I quickly braid the hair until a real little girl sits on my lap. "And what's with this doll?" I joke holding her up. "She looks so real."

She giggles and looks at me, "I am real!" I feign surprise and all the children laugh. And so begins my braiding-of-real-little-girls-tirade. They love their hair, I hope their mother's do too and aren't mad at me. A big boy comes over. I wonder if he wants a braid too.

"Mr. Odair wants to play with the boys now, not you silly girls," he sticks his tongue out. "No girl's allowed." One of them starts crying and I take her in my arms and try hushing her.

"You'll let everyone play won't you. I know I would," I talk to the little boy on his level and he thinks about it.

"Alright, they can play." Everyone sits in a large circle.

"And what is this game called?" I ask them. They all start spewing different words at me and I get them to quiet down. "One at a time please!"

"It's called 'Duck Duck Goose'!" Explains one little girl. "One person is it, and they walk around the room tapping heads like this," one little boy gets up and demonstrates. "And they say, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck -" The one little boy keeps going on. "Get on with it Tim!" Yells a classmate. He sighs and then says, "goose!" He taps a girl's head and they run all the way around and then back to where she was sitting, but she was caught by him, so now she's 'it'.

They begin and I think it's unfair, because every single child tries to tap my head. When it's my turn I switch on and off from letting them tag me and letting me be safe. They're having a grand time. I feel a tap on my shoulder and look up, it's Plutarch. He's smiling happily.

"Excuse me children, I need to steal Mr. Odair away... I'm sure he'll come visit you again!" He smiles. They start to cry and it's hard to depart from them, but after 14 different hugs I think we're at an understanding and I wave goodbye.

"You love children don't you?" Plutarch starts talking when we're in the hallway.

I laugh, "They're so innocent, and adorable, I can't help myself!"

"I saw you reading, you know, I could make a TV show for you. Finnick's Reading Hour, where you read to children and educate them..." He goes on and on about this TV show, that doesn't make sense if the country is at war.

When he takes a breath I quickly change the subject, "Where are we going?" He points to the Command Center where people are waiting and watching intensely on the screen. It gives me a weird feeling and I shiver a bit. I sit next to Haymitch who compliments me on how well I've gotten along.

I slowly take out my rope, I notice the feeling in the room. Katniss comes in and sits down near me. We watch the screen. Peeta is nearly destroyed. Beat up and hurt. He is begging with Katniss now and I watch Katniss's eyes glaze over. Peeta yells into the screen and I can hear it but I don't want to. Somehow I am able to focus on just the small sound my hands make while tying knots. But I do hear the message loud and clear. He gives a warning that Distritct 13 is about to be attacked. My mind flashes, about the attack, about Katniss and I, and about all those children.

Coin says she doesn't believe it, but that they should take caution and Boggs leads Katniss and I downstairs, and I mean downstairs. We're very low in the cellar of the Earth. We enter and Katniss and I are separated and told to get our items a blanket and other necessaries. I head to the Odair quarter and find my single bed. Katniss is with the Everdeens. I lay in the bed and start thinking bad things. I try tying my knots but I get nervous. Quite a while passes and I hear they are holding the gate for someone. I look out and see Prim and Gale running with boxes and a cat. And just like that the gates shut and the attack begins.

We're so far underground but I feel like we could all drown. I don't like it. I feel all the pressure above us will sink and smash us. I tie my rope slowly and start to lose count. After a little while and with the lights wavering on and off people start to mingle again. I sit and try to keep to myself. A little boy runs by and I recognize him. He comes up to me crying. I jump out of the bed leaving the rope on the bed.

"Mr. Odair... I can't find my mommy!" He is so worried and keeps whipping his nose on his sleeve. I pull him and take his hand. A little girl runs up doing the same thing. I look at them both oddly. They look at each other and at the same time say the other is lying.

"He just wants to play with you!"

"No! That's what she wants!"

A few other kids from today join up and sit in front of me. Waiting. I look at them, I'm not too stable right now, but I can't say 'no' knowing they're more scared then me. I sit down like them. And get them in a circle.

"Now, I think we'll be too noisy if we start Duck Duck Goose again... but here's a game I used to play when I was younger. It's called 'Bananaphone!' You wanna play?" They all look very eager and I try to explain at their level. I will say a word and we'll pass it around and see what we come up with at the end, but you can only say it once and not too loudly.

I turn to the little girl at my left, "Fisherman Fisher fishes for fish." I giggle as her face scrunches and tries to comprehend it. She passes it along in the circle.

After five minutes it comes back to the boy next to me and he shakes his head laughing.

"What is it? What's the secret message?"

"Fun Fillerman flubber fish," all the children giggle. I shake my head.

"The password was Fisherman Fisher fishes for fish." They all attempt to say it after me and end up making a weird buzzing sound. Then they all tackle me for a hug.

"I love you Mr. Odair." Says one girl playing with my hair. "Do you have any children of your own?" The question makes me feel weird. I don't want to answer it, but it's only a child.

"No, I would love children though."

"I thought so, you'd make a good daddy. Protective, strong, and cuddly." A little boy digs his head into my lap.

"Are you married?" Asks another. I start tapping my foot a little. My sanity is slowly drifting from me and there's a bunch of children around, not a good combination.

"No, but I do love someone."

"Where is she? Can we meet her? Anyone who you love has to be the coolest person in the whole wide world."

"And how big is the whole wide world?" I ask, poking her lightly in the stomach, trying to be funny, but about to break into tears at any second. She makes a large motion with her arms.

"Thiiiiiis big!" She smiles! A little white cat scurries by right before I feel an attack coming. The kids are distracted and run towards it. A little flashlight shines. I see Prim walk up to me.

"I'll get these kids off you... I'm so proud of what you did today." I mumble thanks and she takes the kids, who don't seem that sad about leaving me with Prim's cat to chase around. I climb into bed and start crying. Not loudly. Just silently weeping. I haven't cried in so long.

I hold my stomach tight and try to force myself asleep. I can't. I sit up and try knotting my rope. It doesn't help to much, for once. I toss and turn and find myself feverishly making knots with the rope. Taking a short pause as my eyes droop down, seeing a nightmare, forcing myself out and making knots again. I am regressing I think is the word.


	53. Chapter 53

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

For the next three days this is all I do. It's all I can do. I am so anxious to be above-ground. To be closer to fresh air. I tap my fingers as I angrily pull at the knot. The kids were told not to bother me anymore and I miss their company, but I am not okay right now. I don't want to scare them.

The light above me numbs my eyes a bit and I see Katniss wander over. Her eyes look sleepless like mine. Afraid to close her eyes, or maybe she just can't. She sits by me as I finish one of the hardest knots I know. It's complexity was making me perspire.

"This is what they do with you and Annie isn't it?" She speaks out.

I feel a little angry, because it's true. Even though I've known this, hearing it from other people makes me feel it's all my fault, "Well, they know she doesn't have any information, I would never risk it with her." I quickly begin to assemble a new knot.

"I'm sorry Finnick." She says moving closer.

I shake my head, "I'm sorry. I should have told you before the Quell, before everything but it's too late. I didn't warn you and now you're suffering more. I'm sorry. The minute everyone saw you scream when Peeta hit the force field we all knew you really loved him, which made him a target for Snow." I slowly untie this one with care and then expediently begin on the next one.

"How do you deal with it?" I hear the sadness in her voice. I want to laugh at the question, but I don't want to be cruel to her.

"I don't Katniss. Look at me, I obviously don't. Everyday is hell. Everyday is hearing Annie's voice in my head screaming, everyday is my mind thinking of every horrible thing in the world happening to Annie because of me. Distractions help... but not always. When you let your mind roam is when the worst of it happens." I think back to the one time I thought Annie was being eaten by the Mutts, that image still scares me. "Katniss, it takes ten times as long to put yourself back together then to fall apart." I want to say more but don't. Katniss received the message and the truth. I feel bad for breaking the news to her.

I hand her my rope. "Use it, tomorrow we'll find your own. Distract yourself. And don't let your mind wander Katniss." I put my hand on hers, "I'm here for you."

She nervously and slowly begins to knot and walks back to her section. After 30 minutes I walk that way too, to find the nurse who always offered me rope. I take my own advice and don't let it stop. I cringe every time a bomb falls, it shatters through my bones.


	54. Chapter 54

**Hunger Games do not belong to me...**

* * *

For the next three days this is all I do. It's all I can do. I am so anxious to be above-ground. To be closer to fresh air. I tap my fingers as I angrily pull at the knot. The kids were told not to bother me anymore and I miss their company, but I am not okay right now. I don't want to scare them.

The light above me numbs my eyes a bit and I see Katniss wander over. Her eyes look sleepless like mine. Afraid to close her eyes, or maybe she just can't. She sits by me as I finish one of the hardest knots I know. It's complexity was making me perspire.

"This is what they do with you and Annie isn't it?" She speaks out.

I feel a little angry, because it's true. Even though I've known this, hearing it from other people makes me feel it's all my fault, "Well, they know she doesn't have any information, I would never risk it with her." I quickly begin to assemble a new knot.

"I'm sorry Finnick." She says moving closer.

I shake my head, "I'm sorry. I should have told you before the Quell, before everything but it's too late. I didn't warn you and now you're suffering more. I'm sorry. The minute everyone saw you scream when Peeta hit the force field we all knew you really loved him, which made him a target for Snow." I slowly untie this one with care and then expediently begin on the next one.

"How do you deal with it?" I hear the sadness in her voice. I want to laugh at the question, but I don't want to be cruel to her.

"I don't Katniss. Look at me, I obviously don't. Everyday is hell. Everyday is hearing Annie's voice in my head screaming, everyday is my mind thinking of every horrible thing in the world happening to Annie because of me. Distractions help... but not always. When you let your mind roam is when the worst of it happens." I think back to the one time I thought Annie was being eaten by the Mutts, that image still scares me. "Katniss, it takes ten times as long to put yourself back together then to fall apart." I want to say more but don't. Katniss received the message and the truth. I feel bad for breaking the news to her.

I hand her my rope. "Use it, tomorrow we'll find your own. Distract yourself. And don't let your mind wander Katniss." I put my hand on hers, "I'm here for you."

She nervously and slowly begins to knot and walks back to her section. After 30 minutes I walk that way too, to find the nurse who always offered me rope. I take my own advice and don't let it stop. I cringe every time a bomb falls, it shatters through my bones.


	55. Chapter 55

**THE SECRETS! Had a lot of fun making this stuff up! :D Hunger Games are not mine - please review!**

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I don't remember when, but eventually someone is leading me upstairs. I look up and fear the worst. I see the "Mental Ward" sign above me. I don't protest. My heart sinks. Apparently I am unstable again. But instead they direct me to another area. I am relieved. We head downstairs to Weapons.

I meet Beete, Boggs, Gale, and Katniss down there. There's coffee and I smile at the sign of sugar cubes. I sit down and take one. I look at Katniss.

"You want a," I wait a minute and purr out the next line, "sugar cube." I add some tongue this time, the last time being the Tribute Parade where she almost killed me for asking, and we both giggle. I notice Gale eying us weirdly.

Katniss, Gale and I are told that we are going to make promotional videos today. I'm excited to finally help. They take us to makeup and I feel almost like myself again, or a past part of myself. I look in the mirror and see no flaws, no scars, hair that has been brushed to perfection. Boggs comments that he thought I was already good looking and stares in awe. I smile at the attention.

We are led outside and we see the result of the bombings. The land is destroyed. But none of us were killed and that's what they want to show. I wonder what we will talk about. Katniss seems like a mess. I wonder if there will ever be a time when we are both equally stable... but I doubt it. She sees the roses by the city hall and makes her cry. No one understands, but me. It's Snow's symbol to her. He always left me letters with Annie's name on them, the roses just seem lazy.

Katniss tries to make a propo but can't she starts crying and I go in to hold her. So does Haymitch, he tells her such sweet things. He really is a good guy, if you take away the booze wash the smell. Gale stares at me again. I don't understand his problem. They give her some drugs and I take her with me to our hospital room. I lay her down and wait till she wakes up. I tie some ropes and I read a book Prim gave me. It's interesting, with strange creatures and men in shiny metal armor. It reminds me of the Hunger Games with no real Games.

When Katniss wakes up I smile and tell her what happened. She feels bad, but no one blames her. I point out the hospital smock, no one blames us when we wear these. Everyone is a little familiar with our 'issues'. I try to console her about Peeta while hoping this information will console me about Annie. Haymitch comes in. Smiling at us.

"There's a plan today with a rescue squad in the Capitol." He turns to Katniss and says, "With Gale and Boggs." And before either of us can volunteer to go he says they're already gone.

We're stumped but nonetheless jumping with excitement. Haymitch doesn't want us too excited, but he likes seeing us happy again.

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Asks Katniss. I second her opinion. I want to do something to help, for once, let me help.

Katniss and I smile widely at each other and Haymitch comes back in, "there is something... you can finish the propos, and we can use it to distract the Capitol during the rescue." We both obviously nod. I ask Katniss if she can do it.

"The idea of Peeta coming back if I do is enough for me." I understand exactly how she feels. We get our makeup done again and I like it. It's distracting. I have a mixture of overly ridiculous happy thoughts, and then overly depressing ones. It's a weird place to be.

Katniss goes on camera and I am behind her cameras in support, cheering her on. She starts to talk about her history with Peeta. It's very sweet. She mentions that Peeta always had a crush on her and how she slowly grew closer and closer to him. Like he just crept up on her, I smile at that comment. She goes into full detail about how when they were younger he threw bread to her to save her life. She understands Peeta, but using him against her isn't helping the Capitol anger her. Grave things are in their future, and with that taunting ending she's done. Plutarch comes over to me and calls Haymitch.

"I was thinking... Finnick, President Snow sold your body to people didn't he?"

Haymitch jumps in right away, "Absolutely not. You know what that boy is going through. He will not talk about that. That is strictly personal, and I know how much it has afflicted him." Haymitch stands firm.

"But it would come as such a shock, and it would help Annie." The way he says it I know he's trying to lure me, but it's working. Haymitch starts up again, but I shake my head.

"I'll do it."

"You don't have to do it Finnick, no one is forcing you." Haymitch says shooting a mean glare at Plutarch. Plutarch seems excited and I know why, no one will ever have guessed it when I step on that screen. The secrets I will spill. It will come as a surprise to everyone. I shake my head nervously.

"No, I'm going to do this if it helps Annie." I feel pale and I hand the rope to Haymitch. It feels weird without it in my hand. They sit me over where Katniss sat. Though, I've been on camera hundreds of times this time it feels weird. This time I am supposed to be Finnick, but not Finnick. It messes with my head.

My hands get clammy and I don't know where to start. Plutarch tells me to start in the beginning... So I do, I take a deep breath, "President Snow used to," I swallow a big knot in my throat, "sell my body to people in the Capitol." I see several eyes grow wide with surprise. "If victors are good-looking they are used as prizes and rewards or sold for high outrageous amounts of money. I'm not the only one, but I was always one of the most popular. You can't say no either, if you do, Snow kills someone you love, so you do it." I think about listing the people he's killed of my family, or Johanna's but that would be invading her privacy, and I don't think I could make it through the rest of this thinking about them.

"I was also the weakest... I had so many people to protect, who couldn't do it themselves. And he used that against me. People figured it out eventually that I loved Annie and was being forced to do this, and some felt bad, they would offer me payment in expensive jewels and money. But I asked for something different. I asked for secrets. Oh," I laugh a bit, "you'll want to keep listening Snow. Because so many were about you. My payment deal spread like wildfire with so many desperate people with desperate information and gossip." I say it in an angry manner. "People can't seem to keep their mouths shut can they Snow?" I offer a little inside joke, thinking about Gemma, just between the two of us, as if we're friends.

I begin to tell the stories, naming one high official after the other, "...and she and fourteen other women decided to come and invade me that night... but she told me drunkenly that he really had raped all the poorer little girls in the Capitol like her maid..." One of the camera crew ladies cries because she had voted for him.

I tell more, "Grig Wash, oh he was a good man... I remember meeting him at the Tattered Leather Dance Club, behind a private curtain..." Heads turn, Grig Wash, at a homosexual club?

"The Hemshaw sisters, they were so adorable together and so close. After they won reelection they were awarded me, we had fun, and kissed, and the girls well... they just went after each other I hardly had to do a thing." The tales grow darker and darker, drunk rape, secret homosexuality, incest.

"Oh and a personal favorite. We all remember the race to court with the Jemmings yea?" The Capitol workers recall the moment, "well, both their wives had ordered me at the same time on secret measures. They would take turns on me and then puke in a corner and then try again. The men both ran into the meeting place at the same time, saw the other and shot him! I stood up and took my leave, but what were we told for that accident? Oh, yes, a hair experiment gone wrong. People sure love lies in the Capitol don't they?" With every shocked face I see I smile and deliberately try to tell worse and worse stories.

"Even good ol' Karnine, for those of you don't remember she was Snow's third wife, yes third. And now he's on the eighth, but we'll get to that later. Good ol' Karnine loved me, said she sponsored me for my games she loved me so much she decided to have me as her dinner when I was 15 years old. Fifteen." I grin. "Snow walked in one day and found me laying in bed with her, he didn't say anything all he did was walk up slap me and choke his wife to death."

"Now years ago, who would have believed me, I was just an old victor from the Districts. But now, as you slowly put the pieces together, I hope you all see how dangerous your drunken ramblings and hate filled rants to me were. Oh yes, I offered a listening ear, and I did so enjoy your interesting tales. All your selfish deals of blackmail and backstabbing. I remember them all. But those were just a few of the best, now you get to hear the motherlode that little harmless Finnick got his hands on. Prepare yourself, and by you, I mean _you _Snow."

I take a deep breath finding myself again. Talking about the Capitol's finest does a number on your tongue. "President Cornelius Snow, a man young like myself when he rose to power. Not the first time it's ever happened... but the first time that a young person was able to keep that power for so long definitely. I wonder how he did it? Wits, money, stature... no no... I remember, one word really. Poison." I smile at the reactions I receive and tell the tale I received only a few years ago. "President Snow, when he was young he was well liked, lots of friends rising to the political chair... but it all started when his brother ran against him Rambus Snow, Rambus, what a man! Good looking, classy, always had a lady, very popular. His younger brother not nearly as much. He knew he would lose the election. One day Cornelius confided in his best friend his plan to kill his brother, it was his favorite weapon making its first appearance, poison."

"The poison was done cleverly at a young political gala in the Capitol, it could have been anyone really but not his younger brother who was grieving the death so much – why no, he received sympathy instead. His best friend knew though didn't he? Snow wasn't as good as he is now at covering his tracks, he left a lot of evidence. He had to kill that friend too, but it was his best friend and not only that he already knew Snow's secret weapon. No, Snow found a better way, and this is his second favorite way: 'accidents'. So many accidents happen to famous officials in the Capitol every year. And so many began after Snow's best friend died in a snow cone machine. On accident," I put in air quotes.

"Things started getting worse, Snow had a guilty conscious and couldn't stop... he just couldn't. One person would catch on, one knew to much," I start naming the list of names that goes on forever leading up to the more shocking ones, people that liked and trusted Snow, but would turn into enemies. "We all know that mysterious party, where all of the opposing officials for president gathered? Sure we do, they had some bad fish from District 4 and passed away. No one ever expected it to be the drinks did they? But it was, Snow poisoned the drinks. And why did no one expect it? Because he himself drank out of the very same glass they did. He himself was suspected of something, so he drank the poison." I keep answering people's questions on their faces, "The proof? Snow drank it and suffered horrible welts in the back of his throat that will never heal. He got treatment, killed the people who treated it, and now wears the horrible repugnant rose."

"We've all smelled it, be it at a political meeting, or a ball, or on a TV show. We've smelled it. It hides the stench of blood they say. I've smelled it, but I've also smelled the blood. Snow has killed everyone who was ever a threat to him to stay in power. And anyone not quite worth killing, such as me, he's killed and tortured those around him into fear."

"Cornelius Snow, I know your secrets." I finish and wonder if I should add that Emma Fitinki has herpes, but I don't. I look back at the people staring at me. Mouths gaping. Only Katniss stares at me, relaxed a bit. I wait for a bit and wonder why they're still filming. Annoyed I yell 'cut' and they stop. Everyone breaks away gossiping more. Plutarch runs over to me, but suddenly I feel so tired. He giddily thanks me and tells me about the secrets, even he himself, didn't know about. I nod and try to keep with his good spirit but I feel tired.


	56. Chapter 56

**Hunger Games - not mine...**

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Ten years, ten long and painful years has all of that been on my mind, and now everyone knows it. Everyone. I walk past Katniss and Haymitch and we all head down in a room together to wait to hear about the rescue. I tie knots and feel ready to throw up. Haymitch was about to give me a hug before hearing about my stomach revelation. Katniss looks at me strongly, like she's trying to say 'I'm sorry' but I don't know what for.

We watch the recap, and I can't help but think I look good. I keep thinking about how I should have added this secret and that, but I am generally happy. Haymitch rouses us, not giving us much information to come outside and I look at Katniss with a shot of last minute fear. I stand still, frightened, terrified. What if Annie is so far off she isn't here any more and I can't bring her back? My breathing quickens and Katniss takes my hand, the way Prim does. She leads me to the hospital and I start shaking.

The first thing I see is a woman with a shaved head, and a slender frame, being wheeled in on a bed. Oh god, Johanna. I walk up to her with the rope I was tying in me hand and notice she's unconscious. She looks horrible. She oozes out disgusting things, and her skin as a ghastly color.

"I am so happy to see you." I whisper in her ear. I know she can't hear but, I am so happy she's here.

"Finnick!" I hear a shriek. It's Annie's. My heart drops my mind is still playing tricks on me. My stomach is filled with air. But I turn and see her, I see her and I start crying like I will never stop. I drop the rope. My heart breaks and rebuilds itself over and over. In what seems like a manner of seconds to others, is lifetimes to me.

"Annie!" I yell, my voice completely giving out. I scream as if we were on the other side of the world and she may not hear me. The whole room turns to look at us, but I ignore every single person but Annie, and I run at top speed and tackle her into my strong arms. I feel like we are running through the warm ocean water. The sea breeze of District 4 tickling us. I enfold my arms around her and her strength staggers me back into the wall. I shower her with kisses as we both cry madly and sink to the ground.

"Finnick!" She sobs out with her head in my lap. I squeeze her tighter and tighter till she coughs a bit. She looks at me, her eyes the most radiant color I ever remember seeing. We continue screaming with joy in each others arms. For ten minutes. Just crying and holding on to each other like we will never let go. I hold her close and give her a long sweeping kissing, taking us all the way to the floor and we lie on top of each other. Our screams have subsided, but no emotion can describe how I feel. Grateful? No, not strong enough. Crazy? Perhaps, but it doesn't sound romantic. Maybe I am just in love, true love.

I wonder what they did to her, but comparing her to the others I know they just ignored her. I take her hand in mine shaking. I see something incredible on it. The diamond ring I had given her lays beautifully on her hand. I mouth the words 'how' and she just leans in, directing the kissing this time. I hold her waist and touch her so gently. My fiance. My future wife. Ms. Annie Cresta.

"My mermaid is home..." I whisper in her ear. She giggles and I know I still have the old Annie. A part of her, but to be fair, Annie only has most of the old Finn, not all of him. I hold her close and tell her to forget everything, and everyone. Because this time I mean it, nothing ever in our lifetime will happen to either of us.

"But Finnick, this is for you..." She unfolds a crumpled piece of silk. "It used to be a bow," she explains scratching her head. "There was a really nice girl there, always gave me something warm to eat, always saved me a blanket. I saw her when the others came to save me. She was running directing their attention elsewhere. She left this in my room that day with a note that said it was for you. I think I heard her screams against the gun shots." Annie's eyes start to distance when she mentions the words 'scream.' She pulls her hands up to her ears and starts to shake rapidly. And I take her closely in my arms. Hugging her, caressing her, telling her its all over and she belongs here. She comes back to me and cries. I cry too, knowing that Bex sacrificed her life for my love. What would have possessed her to do it I don't know, but she kept Annie alive. Now I will have to tell her father. But she kept Annie alive.

And we continue with us both crying in each others arms, until Haymitch directs us to our new room. And it's not in the mental ward. It's Real, everything that happened, was real.

The room is bigger, with its own bathroom. There are little slots that we can put our wrists under to get a real schedule. It's plain, and drab, but everything turns vibrant when Annie stands in it. She sits on the bed and has a wild smile on her face, she keeps looking at me, as if making sure I am still real, still touchable.

I go over and take her hand, "Annie. I will protect you for the rest of our lives together, nothing like that will ever happen again."

She looks at me from under her heavy lashes and leans in to kiss me. She frowns a minute, "they didn't do anything to me Finnick. Sometimes they forgot to feed me, but that girl would sneak in and leave something. I just sat on the metal bed and wandered in circle, playing games with myself. But sometimes, I got the visions Finn. And I didn't know if they were real or fake without you. I heard Johanna and Peeta screaming too, but not like mine, they were being hurt. Why didn't they hurt me?"

I question reassuring her, but I am determined to rebuild the rest of this relationship on trust now that I the Capitol can't get her, "They did hurt you Annie. They hurt you here," I touch her head, "They also hurt me there too, but with each other, we're better. With each other, the pain goes away."

"I want to thank your friend Finnick. She was a nice girl."

A pang of sadness pokes my heart, but I tell it to go away. Nothing will ruin this day for me. I hold Annie closer. "We've thanked her Annie, she knows it."

Annie falls back on the bed and taunts me. I fall back with her. We don't do much, we just look at the white ceiling and hold each other. The entire night. I start pretending there are stars on the ceiling and telling Annie the stories she used to love when she was a child about them. We both sleep so soundly, neither of us moves from the others protective arms.

There's a knock on the door. I go to answer it, looking at the time I think it's early. Then I remember we have normal lives now. It's Gale. His eyes are sunken a bit, but he offers a smile. He peers in the room and sees Annie waking, giving her a wave. Annie sees him and runs to him in her night gown.

"Finnick!" She smiles looking at me from the hug she's giving Gale. "This is one of the men who saved me!" Annie blushes and she tries to push back her mangled hair that falls into her face. I smile and grab Gale's arm.

"Thanks for that." He shrugs and says it's no problem, that he's just happy we're both doing good. He waits for Annie to head back inside and then pulls me out in the hallway.

"Haymitch wants to see you. Katniss saw Peeta, and she's not doing good." Gale sounds depressed in his delivery. It's not his usual friendly but professional tone. I give him a concerned look. What happened to Peeta and Katniss. Is he really that hurt? "He tried to choke her." I blink a few times, trying to understand. Gale continues, "Apparently the Capitol used Tracker Jacker venom to trick him into seeing Katniss as an enemy. She's distraught and in the hospital. He almost killed her."

I quickly thank Gale and walk to the hospital. I know the route like the back of my hand. I see Haymitch there, rubbing his eyes. I know how he feels about these kids, they're like his children, and I'm the older brother.

"I," he shakes his head. "I can't believe they would do it, but I do believe it. Sick bastards. Katniss is a mess and we may have lost our Mockingjay thanks to the head trauma of having Peeta turn on her..." he trails on.

"No, she'll get through it. She's going to realize how good she had it and then she'll be all over trying to help him." I sit down, "believe it or not, I had that period with Annie. The minute I couldn't have her, made me want to try harder and harder to get her back. You don't give up trying to save someone you love."

Hatmitch looks at me, questioning my words of wisdom. He gets up and walks around. "She'll be out for a day, I'll talk to her. In the meantime..." he looks at me carefully, like he's going to tell me bad news, "Plutarch had an idea for you." He leads me on, making me anxious at what that weirdo could want next. "It's something I know you would never do, it goes against everything you want in life. He wants you to..." he pauses, "get married to Annie."

I want to punch but instead I pull him into me for a hug. We both laugh. "Yea, I'll really have to dance my way through that one." He looks at me with a proud look in my eyes. I start thinking that he really is like a father to me, in his own rough way. My real father never had a proud look in his eyes. We part ways as he goes to check on Peeta. I smile all the way.

Prim bumps into me, "What's going on Little Angel?" I ask being friendly. She looks sad, now that I know what happened to Katniss I understand. I pull her in for a hug and smooth out her hair. "Katniss will be alright, so will Peeta, and everyone else." I whisper to her.

She doesn't say a word and keeps on moving, like nothing even phased her. I know she's going to be checking on Katniss. I walk past Johanna's room. She is unconscious still, breathing slowly as they clean the wounds and germs from her system. I go in, thinking I'll never make it out of the hospital now, and start stroking her cheek. Her sacrifice has been so great. She says she doesn't have anyone left to lose, but that's wrong. She has me to lose. And she won't.


	57. Chapter 57

**THE WEDDING! Hunger Games are not mine. :3**

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The next week is interesting. Katniss comes back to things sort of, she takes Annie to pick out a dress which Annie says is a secret. I thank Katniss hundreds of times, and Annie can't stop talking about how nice Katniss is to her.

Johanna starts to wake up, but keeps to her morphling schedule. She seemed excited about the wedding at least and wants to help Annie get ready, so does Katniss and her prep team.

Plutarch is thrilled, getting cameras and trying to order this and that while Coin refuses all of his requests. He wants lots of food and jewels and Coin vetoes everything saying it costs to much, but we come up with other ideas. I try to get a private moment with him and tell him about his daughter's sacrifice. He is troubled, but knew it would happen. He says she was always a rebel at heart, and she would have loved this wedding. It was easy for her, hearing everything from her father who was the head of the resistance. But I think she had the wrong idea of what a rebel really was, there is no real glory. Just pain, suffering and death. It's only for the people who come after you. I vow to have a good wedding for her.

The minute I heard Haymitch say wedding I went out into the woods and giddily started weaving the net that would be laid over Annie and I during our vows. I inform everyone in on District 4 weddings. Our traditions, and decorations – everyone is jumping off the walls to help and make things perfect for Annie and I.

I go in to see Peeta as well, cheer him up a bit. He's a little awkward with me. He seems to think I am an enemy, but other images flash by contradicting what is in his head. Just like Annie, he's playing Real or Not Real. I see the real Peeta for small flashes, and then he disappears. I talk to him for a while, about the wedding. I can't tell if he's happy or sad. He just shrugs when I ask if I can use one of the suits of his they found in District 12. Katniss will get him back somehow.

...

And before I know it I am looking in a mirror again. With Haymitch standing behind me. He pats my shoulder as he ruffles out parts of the suit. I laugh at him in my head, he would never let anyone see him like this. Never let anyone see his weakness for his kids. I comb out my hair a little bit. There are no marks on my face, except for the dimples with my never-ending smile. Haymitch nudges me and I look down at his open hands.

Two golden bands.

"How did you?" I ask shaking my head laughing. I have no idea how he did, and I assume he doesn't plan on telling. Coin would never pay for it, but he found a way to get them. Two wedding rings, but he does tell me.

"They were going to be for June and I. I never let them go and spent all my money buying them. I-" I stop him right there and hug him. June was Haymitch's lover. The Capitol killed her after he showed them up during the last Quarter Quell. It means everything to me. The bands are gorgeous, a little copper-gold. They have inscriptions that have been worn from time in a drawer, but theirvalue is sentimental.

I gulp down a knot of fear and smile. I have nothing to be afraid for. No Games, no Capitol, nothing. Just me and Annie. Annie and I.

I head outside into the grand dining hall, and this time it deserves that recognition of grand. It's nothing compared to the Capitol's standards, or Plutarch's for that matter. But I think it is marvelous. There are long blue drapes all around the walls, with long hanging ropes. The children from the school have created adorable pictures of Annie and I and they are pasted to the chairs. I wave to them all sitting in some music stands, they all were thrilled to be asked to sing for the wedding. They love Annie as much as they love me. There is a scent of fish wafting from the kitchen and I wonder how they got their hands on it. Coin only allowed 300 people and every person there had something to do with the wedding, playing music, decorating, being a friend. I thanked her personally for everything.

The cameras are set up at every angle. I head to the front where a small table is set and my net dangles over. A refugee from District 10 is doing our ceremony. The other day I had told him the process of where everything goes and what to say. He says it's like his ceremony in his district.

A man from 12 can play the fiddle and I try to beat out a sound on a make-shift drum to what the songs sound like. A woman volunteers to play the drum for me. Everyone is so helpful, I feel so much different. Nothing yelling in the back of my head, no screams, no images. Just a warm fuzzy feeling with an air of family about it.

I wait impatiently next to the man from 10 and wait for it to begin. Everyone takes their seats. Katniss scurries in and sits next to Johanna, who seems a little out of it. She has a happy smile on her face though. I look at the crowd and see more then just 300 people. I see everyone I have ever loved in my life. My little sister is there, getting ready to place the shells on the ground, Mags is there holding Grandma C as she cries with joy. I even see my parents, and a faint smile pressed on both of their lips. Bex and Gemma and the other girls who miraculously risked their posh lives are there as well – of course wearing their finest frippery.

My hands get clammy and the music starts, the soft swaying drum beat and fiddle make it seem like a wave is washing over District 13 and making it into District 4. The children singing, "My Ocean's Dream" sounds like mermaids calling out to sailors. It's an old sea marriage song, Grandma C used to sing it when I was young.

I hold my breath and never let it drop as the doors open and I see Annie. So perfect. Her hair is braided with beads and shells like they always do for the brides back home, I know Johanna had to have mentioned it. Her dress is a long silky green one, that forms a heart on the top and trails down to create a mermaid like tail. She wears my rope necklace. The dress brings out her eyes like they are the most rare emeralds in the world.

Only when she is next to me do I let my breath go. She stares into me with her sweet complexion. I take her hand and face the man from District 10. The little girl who was dropping the shells, which were really painted rocks due to budget, goes to sit down in her seat and he begins.

"Marriage is like the sea," he begins, going into a long metaphor tying waves to vows, binding us together in a storm. He explains the lore of the pearl and it's sacred truths as Annie and I each kiss one, to prove our oaths. The pearls come from one of Katniss's old dresses.

He asks Annie for her vows that will tie her to me with the sacred net of love. He places the net above our heads and we look through at each other. I start to cry, I know the crowd can't see my face through the net. Annie cries too. The vows aren't for everyone to hear, you can only hear them if you listen closely.

We say them in relatively loud voices for the cameras.

"Finnick, our love has proven to only get stronger at each challenge." She tries to continue but can't find her voice and she starts to cry, I hold her so closely to me the net starts to slip a bit. "The fact that you would love a hopeless case like me in the time of my darkest hour... We were meant to be. I promise to be faithful to you, and love you, and..." she gets red in her face, "and raise our family by your side." The crowd aw's and I hear other people in the crowd crying too.

I feel like a wreck, "Annie," I begin choking on the word, making people laugh a bit, "you are my true love. The woman and person I hold above everyone including myself. You are my light, my joy, my happiness. Nothing will ever touch you, nothing will ever hurt you. When you start sifting back into darkness I will always be there to pull my mermaid back to shore. When I was young I made an oath to the sea, to protect her and see that her wishes were fulfilled. She sent me you to see if I could fulfill that promise. And the day I die, will be the day I fail that promise." I hold her closely as I choke out the last few words and tears stream our faces. It seems like we are making a wave, everyone is crying. Even Johanna and Katniss have red eyes.

The man asks the final question, "After your binding oath under the net tied with love, do you Finnick Odair take Annie Cresta to be your faithful and true wife for as long as you live?"

I shake my head, breaking into another run of tears, "I do." I laugh, I do. Annie squeezes my hands tighter.

"And do you Annie, under the binding oath of -"

Annie leans in and splashes her lips in the sea water, really just water with salt, and swoops me into a long and powerful kiss fueled by both of our emotions. She stands up after a minute and smiles proudly, "I do." The crowd laughs a bit.

A little boy runs up with a knotted basket filled with seaweed, in this case it is only filled with grass and fall foliage from outside. Nonetheless it is beautiful. We reach both our hands in, holding each other and fishing around for the rings. Annie and I touch hands at the bottom and find the rings. Slowly we bring our locked hand up together for the crowd to see.

We hold out our hands and I take one of the golden bands and slide it on her slender finger, she giggles. She does the same and looks at me with lust. I grin down at her, unable to tame my joy.

"I now pronounce you, husband, and wife." He presents us to the crowd, taking our hands separately and then bringing them together so we can take one more long and final kiss for the crowd. This time I fold her in my arms and dip into a gentle and quiet one. One so soft and pure that even Coin, had she been there, would have swooned.

The claps and cheers begin in an uproar of applause. I take Annie closely. And everyone is handed a glass filled with a drink. I wink at Haymitch, he knows that in District 4 we always do this with rum. He stands up and moves across to the front of the room and hugs Annie. He takes a glass and stands by me. He holds the glass high above his head and we hold ours out as well.

"To the two people that have proved to us all, how powerful love is. How it ties people together, how it can lead you out of your darkest times," I pull Annie close to me as Haymitch finishes, "To Finnick and Annie Odair!" He booms. Everyone echoes and we drink the apple cider.

The fiddler from District 12 starts a tune and all the natives from 12 turn their heads and start dancing. It starts with a smiling Gale. I pull Annie out with me, taking steps from him. We've never danced like this. It's heavy and joyous and requires a partner unlike how we dance in District 4. Eventually the people from 13 join us too and we're all dancing around each other. Annie swims beautifully in her dress as it spins around her.

Katniss may be the Girl on Fire, but Annie is the Girl from the Water. She sways so beautifully to the music and takes Gale's hand as I take Prim's. I spin her around as she giggles. Just when I thought she couldn't be an any brighter ray of light, she becomes one as I lift her into the air and she takes my hands and teaches me a new dance. I watch Katniss head onto the floor and hand over her sister to her. The two are compliments to the other.

I get to dance with everyone. Children, old ladies, young girls. I can't stop smiling and looking at Annie. Her dazzling eyes shining over the whole room towards me. The song stops and I help the woman start a drum beat as Annie and I begin to dance District 4 style. The people cheer us on. We sway our hips from side to side in tune with the drums and shimmy towards each other.

People try to mimic it, but it's hard for beginners. They all look like waddling ducks and everyone laughs. Annie sways her hands around, making a wave motion in tune to her hips, people comment how amazing her body moves. Move to the beat, like always. In District 4 we just take a different approach in dancing, following the beat of the music, in 12 though, it seems that the people follow a pattern of steps.

Annie asks for the other districts to dance and we get a nice demonstration from District 3, 6, 7, 8, and 10. I comment that it sounds like we have most of them and everyone laughs. The fiddler starts playing a softer tune as Haymitch quietly stalks away from him. The crowd all backs up, leaving only Annie and I in the middle of them.

I take her hand gently and place it on my waste and grab her other and place it in mine. She leans closely to me, her hair tickling my chin. I snuggle my nose into it, kissing the top of her hair as we move slowly back and forth. Forgetting time and only focusing on each other. The song slowly stops and we look up, the crowd stares at us in amazement.

"I've never seen a more beautiful couple in all my years," says one of the cooks from District 12. They bring out the food and in between some of the fish and dancing in a large circle we end up having the times of our lives in such a deadly hour. In the center of the circle people are crazily flailing their arms and calling it a dance. We continue dancing until someone taps on my shoulder and points to something being wheeled in a big cart.

Annie's mouth drops and she starts to cry. I hold her close, thinking she is having a memory, but she isn't. The cake being wheeled into the room is just that beautiful. It's just that perfect for this day. And I know it was made by Peeta.

Annie skips to it, like walking on water and looks at the details. I follow her, never letting go of her hand. She comments on the different tiers of the cake. The bottom one is covered entirely in dark blue, it makes a sea bottom and lots of fish and coral are wrapped around it, each with a special color to it. The fish aren't totally what you would see in District 4, more like the fish in District 7 or 12, but it doesn't even matter. It looks beautiful. Annie's favorite part on that level is the little mermaid with the green tail and crazy red hair. The mermaid is hugging a dolphin and there is a seal swimming around clapping. I smile and say it looks like her, even though it doesn't.

The next level is all the waves, Annie loves the hints of green and blue, saying the designer got it just right. I nod agreeing with that statement. He added a little beach level on the outside and I point out the tiny little crabs crawling around on the section that looks like real sand. The texture is perfect. Annie takes a lick and finds out it's brown sugar. There is a boat out in the sea, that remarkably looks like my father's boat, though I know it was probably a lucky guess. A man stands there smiling in a sailor uniform, casting out his fishing rod, down by the mermaid below.

The last tier is the sky, where the base of the palm trees from the second level meet up with the tops and spread out into the perfect sky of orange and red. But that's not the best part. The best part is the little cake people on top. A man with striking brown blowing hair, defined muscles and a trident, holding the cake girl, with the flowing brown curly hair, and long yellow dress. Both figures have tiny little specs of green in their eyes. Annie bursts into tears again at the beauty and I try to settle her.

It's so pretty she refuses to cut the cake. She doesn't want to ruin it. People try to convince her that it will go bad, but nothing works. It takes the little boy, who brought our basket with the rings, to come talk to Annie about how much he wants to eat it, that she finally gave in. I help steady her hand on the knife and we slice a piece. And then another.

We both stand there gazing at each other as I scoop a slice and feed it to her like I'm nursing her back to health. She eats it slowly and says it's delicious. She then starts to cut a piece and I close my eyes to romantically take it in my mouth. Instead I feel a chunk of the cake shoved into my face. I smile as pieces of it fall from my face and Annie giggles. Johanna is throwing a fit of laughter in the crowd. Annie wipes it off and kisses me, saying I taste scrumptious.

We eat the rest of the cake and help cut pieces for the children until only the two cake people are left. Annie touches them lightly, smudging the one's face with a fingerprint. She starts swaying side by side and looking at her ring and I understand it's time for her to go back and be alone. She's done so well today, and this was a lot to take in, perfect, but still a lot.

It's late anyways and Plutarch comes to tell us he has the footage. It's like our cue to leave. But before they do everyone has made little gifts for us. I don't know how they managed but they have all gathered things for the newly-weds. We receive hand-picked flowers, pretty stones, smelling bags, small trinkets. The children give us a bundle full of pictures they have drawn of us and one little girl tries to give me her doll. I go onto my knees.

"I can't take this, this is your dolly," I try to plead with her. She taps my head and shakes hers.

"No it's for you." She looks around, looking for her parents maybe, "I told my mommy and daddy that every child needs a friend. We all think you'll be a good daddy Mr. Odair, and Sally!" She holds up her doll, "was my first friend, and I want you to have her for your child." The little girl, so little she doesn't understand the power of her words. I take her in my arms and swing her around as she giggles. I place her back down and kiss her hand saying thank-you as I take the doll in my hand.

Annie and I, bundles in arms, say goodbye and head to our room. Exhausted. But the lack of energy only lasts for a moment. She throws her arms out to me as she throws herself on the bed. I follow over to her and lay on her with a long a sweet kiss. The cake is still fresh in our sticky mouths.

Those green eyes look at me again, those eyes I would do anything for. Annie starts it. Slowly she tries to come out of her dress and I help her unzip it while she slowly unties my tie. We take all the time in the world. I untie each lace and take off my shoes. I take the altered pants down after the belt falls and lift up my shirt. Annie lays on the bed, ready.

"It's been so long," I whisper as we slowly begin kissing again. She reaches up my spine with her hand and rubs it up and down, up and down. She starts to make a few noises with her mouth. Tears fall sideways down her face.

"I love you Finnick Odair. I love you." I know she does. I take her chin and start moving my kisses downwards past her breasts as our blood quickens. It happens at the same time for both of us. With such ease and grace we touch each other. Like her body is really another form of mine and mine with hers. We know every little secret. The scar behind Annie's ear from when she hit her head on a rock, I kiss it. The little chip on her nose from when she fell on the floor in Mags's house. And the small half-nail on her left hand that she stubbed when we were young on a floor board. The nail never grew back, it just stunted. I kiss it softly.

We both know what we did in the night. For the second time in my life did it feel sacred. Like we were bound together once again. So close to each other we practically became one. Something happened though, I felt it inside of me and Annie did too. I don't know what it was, but it was like magic was coming from both of us.


	58. Chapter 58

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I wake up with her entwined with me. Gale comes through the door and blushes as he sees our naked bodies. I tell him to come in, not sensing why he would be embarrassed. I cover Annie's bare breasts to set him at ease though.

He talks softly, "They're planning something big Finnick. Would you like to be a soldier?" The question lights me up but I look down at Annie still sleeping, making sure she didn't hear it. I nod silently and slip out of bed. I don't bother with pants since Gale says we'll get uniforms. I hear him mumble that's not what he meant when I leave the room wearing nothing.

We head downstairs and are in a training room with a group of other men. I introduce myself to everyone. Boggs, our trainer starts the class at exactly 5:00 AM. After a night of partying I haven't had much sleep, but my body's pretty used to that now. Boggs looks at me and shakes his head.

"Soldier Odair... put some pants on." He says in a stiff voice. Gale points to where I can find some and I slide them on and get back in line, not even daring to ask if he finds it distracting.

We start with basic trainings, push-ups, sprints, weight-lifting. I exceed everyone easily and they all shoot me jealous glares. Boggs seems to even admire my strength. I don't know where it came from, I was just born naturally strong. I follow orders carefully and by the end of the week am receiving high praise. Boggs says if I would remember clothes more often I'd be the best soldier he's seen since Gale. I smile at my new friend. He reminds me so much of Katniss.

I haven't talked to Katniss that much. I've only seen her in the halls, her and Johanna are training. Johanna looks loads better, she's eating, sleeping, and turning into her bitchy self again. I'm very happy. Annie found a place she loves in this District as well, she helps in the school as a school aide. She loves the children so much. Last Wednesday I surprised her with a visit and brought all the little kids some sugar cubes I had snuck away with from the Command Center. They loved it.

Gale and I laugh and joke, and talk about our women. Well, he tells me that he loves Katniss, but we both know that with Peeta in the way it could never happen. But he doesn't let that get in the way of his love. He still appreciates her and tries to help his friend. He's been getting along great with Johanna. Sometimes the men and women train together. Johanna and Gale always team up and she says nasty things to him as he returns them with the same bite. They've got chemistry.

He's the spitting image of a rebel too. Always talking about how to fight back, how to trap the enemy. He hates Snow and him and Johanna talk long and hard about it as we run with 90 pounds of supplies over our head through the rain.

After about two weeks something strange happens. Peeta shows up for training. Gale looks at him oddly, not out of spite like I would of thought, but more like curiosity. But, curiosity killed the cat, well all the cats except Buttercup I guess. He runs awkwardly, but I agree with the idea that physical exercise is good for him. I talk to him as much I can.

"How are things going?" I ask perkily as we crawl under barbed wire in the mud. He shoots me a look, I know I could have him down in two seconds, but I let him do what he wants. We all heal in different ways.


	59. Chapter 59

**Hunger Games do not belong to me...**

* * *

After training I go and get Annie in the school, Gale said he'll wait for Katniss and Johanna and meet me there. I take Annie's hand tightly and lead her into the cafeteria, telling her about my day. She always tells me she's concerned about the training, but I say it's healthy. I also mention she should get some fresh air sometime, and we plan on going on a walk after lunch. The idea thrills her.

She radiates as we get our food and sit down. Delly is there, she's another from District 12 and is helping Peeta with his memory about Katniss. I tell Annie to eat her soup and instead she feeds it to me, telling me soldiers need more strength. In return I feed her too. With both stop for a moment and stare at each other.

Delly giggles, and we shift our gazes, but our hands stay tightly together. I'm never letting you go Annie. Never ever.

"Tell us a story Finnick!" Annie begs in her sweet voice. I look at her expectantly and she just hazily smiles back. Gale and Johanna encourage my tale.

"But I don't know any stories..." I try to plead with them. Annie gives me the most angry eyes she can, which are really just squinted ones that look like she's reading from far away.

"Yes you do, Mr. Odair." She says pointing at me with her free hand. Gale makes an intentional 'ooing' sound and I tell Annie she already knows all my stories, "Tell them the one with the hat." I roll my eyes.

Johanna laughs, "A hat Finnick? I thought you never wanted anyone to touch your precious hair."

I sigh, "Alright. It was three years ago. Annie and I were sitting at home, while Mags was cooking Christmas dinner -"

"It was eel that year!" Annie happily adds. I nod patting her on the shoulder.

"Right, Mags was cooking Christmas dinner, which was eel. Annie and I were sitting by the fire as I handed her her present."

"It was a new pair of leather sandals that Finnick made. Did you know he's good at making things." She snuggles into my arm, "Finnick is good at everything." I stroke her hair.

"After Annie opened her present she gave me mine." I try not to laugh as I describe it, "it was a large purple hat, with a long brim and several feathers sticking out from it." I want to add that it was the most hideous thing I've ever seen but I don't want to say it in front of Annie, "it was... interesting."

"No, it was ugly, but everything looks good on you."

My face starts glowing as I hold Annie's hand tighter, "she put the hat on my head and out of no where asked me to go to the beach. It was a little cold that day, only 80 degrees -"

"Oh you poor thing," Katniss mimics playfully. I roll my eyes. I am never going to finish my story.

"She grabbed my hand and told me she wanted to go swimming. 'But Annie!' I said, 'it's a little too cold.' She said that was nonsense and dove in. She was wearing the new sandals keep in mind and it was mating season for sea turtles. She came up from the water yelling as one had bit her foot. I dove right in and tried to get it off but it was attached to her sandal." I pause and take a spoonful of soup, "I started pleading with it, 'oh please Mr. Turtle! Give Annie her shoe back!'" Annie starts to giggle, "'oh please Mr. Turtle, we're trying to enjoy Christmas!' Then Annie says maybe he wants a present. Now it was quite a predicament since I worked very long and hard on those shoes. But I knew just the thing I reached in my pocket and took out a soggy sugar cube handing it to the turtle who instead bit my hat and started swimming away! Annie started laughing, but I thought she was crying so I chased all around the shallow area of the water trying to catch this damn turtle, while Annie just watched." I look at her and smirk. The retelling of my chasing of the sea turtle involved lots of hand motions and movements.

Johanna, Katniss and Gale are all laughing and Annie is smiling triumphantly, hearing the funny story about her.

"The turtle swam into the ocean and I didn't even bother as I saw the ridiculous purple hat swimming off. I turned to Annie all sad and said I was sorry. And then she tells me that," I pause for a minute looking at her carefully, "at least the sea turtle looks like a gentlemen." I close the story telling them that if they ever find an outrageous hat that looks like it was puked out from the Capitol, that it's really Finnick Odair's. We're all in high spirits as I smooth Annie's hair when everyone stops. I turn to look and it's Peeta.

Katniss's eyes grow wide and Gale looks at him angrily. Delly says positively that it's good to see him. I look at him unsure. He seems off still. He says he can't sit here without our permission, indicating the guards and the shackles on his wrists.

Johanna nods and motions over to him, "It's alright Peeta, you can sit with us. He and I are friends we're used to each others screams." I feel Annie twinge a bit and pull her hands up to her ears. Hearing those screams they're talking about. I hold her closer and try talking to her, never looking up. The table is quiet and they pretend to eat.

"Annie, you're here, I know you are. You're here sitting with me and all your friends. The Capitol is so far away, you're here in my arms you're safe in my arms. Nothing will hurt you so long as I'm here." I whisper all these little things to her as she raises her head again and I kiss her cheek. I shoot Johanna a mean look.

"Part of my therapy Finn, they said I shouldn't censor myself," she rolls her eyes.

"Annie darling!" Says Delly joyously trying to change the subject. "Did you know Peeta decorated your cake for you?"

Annie's eyes light up, "I didn't but thank you so much. I loved it, the people the waves, the mermaid. I didn't want to eat it at first. But I just loved it." She smiles, burying herself shyly into my bicep.

"My pleasure Annie," Peeta smiles. I have to double check. That sounds just like the old Peeta. The one I met on the Victory Tour. The one who's charisma during his Games was giving mine a run for its money. Annie peeks out and smiles at him. I gather our trays on top of each others while keeping my arm around her.

"We have to go if we want to do that walk," I say standing up. She shifts with me as she grips my hand harder. "Good seeing you Peeta," I smile. Getting ready to leave.

"You be nice to Annie or I might take her from you." The way he says it comes out cold and mean. I look at his eyes, unsure if he really meant this that way. His eyes say differently. They're cold.

I laugh gravely, "Don't make me regret restarting your heart Peeta." I take Annie closer and Annie waves goodbye to them as I have my hands full. We place the trays and then head up to the surface. I take one tracker, we don't need two, they know Annie will be right at my side.

Annie talks about how much she loves fall time and she sings a bit. Then she stops and looks at me, I get worried.

"Are you alright Annie?" I ask cautiously. She stares at her feet as she sways side to side.

"I heard them screaming Finnick." Her eyes stare at me with tears. "I heard them, Peeta and Johanna, and I screamed too. I needed you so badly. Finnick I -" I encircle her and fold her with me to the ground as I rub every part of her body gently. It seems everyday she is consumed with this memory.

"Annie, I know, it's all okay. It really is. It's all okay."

"But they've changed Peeta..." She was right. They had, they've turned him into something he's not. And he doesn't even know himself anymore.

"He'll come back. Remember, the Capitol changed me, Katniss and Johanna. But we've all come back and now they're going to pay." I give her a serious look.

"Yea, they made me crazy."

I feel my heart break at the disappointment in her voice. As I hold onto her, there's nothing more to say. We sleep awkwardly that night. I am out of comforting words, but my arms never let go. It's like she's falling and I'm afraid she might slip and break if I don't catch her.

...

Today is the test. Gale told me to be ready. He's already gone in and I know they're making him a real soldier right now. It's a training room, that uses your biggest weakness against you to see if you're ready for the real deal. I take a deep breath and head in.

It is a city street, the Capitol. I think I even know which one it's mimicking. I walk down the street with my special trident cocked and ready to go. I blast through some enemies as I quickly take out the rest. I pause and then I hear it. My eyes dilate and I know my body is shaking. It's Annie's scream. The first thing that ever broke me is now coming to haunt me again. But this is just a test.

I ignore it as I continue forth and it gets louder and louder. Ignore it. Ignore it. I clench my jaw. Keep looking for Snow, find him, and kill him. I tear through a final patch and pant heavily. Not from my exertion, but from my resistance to the screams. Haymitch and Beetee slap my back and take me to command with Gale. I assume this means I passed.

We are given the numbers 451 on our hands. I've heard it before and then I remember. Prim and I read a book where a man who burned anyone's house that had books. Since they were illegal in that future. His squad number was 451. He eventually rebels on society. Fitting for us I guess.

We are led into a room and Katniss soon joins us. We're then introduced to Pods, things that trigger off attacks in the Capitol streets. Some are simple like gun shots, others snatch you up and melt your skin off. I look at the map, standing behind Katniss.

"Ladies and Gentlemen..." I begin.

"Let the 76th Hunger Games begin!" Katniss finishes loudly. We quickly play it off as a joke, but both of us know we're heading back into the arena. Katniss seems terrified about it. I think we stand a better chance knowing what's ahead, but I understand her feelings.

I see her outside and tell her it probably won't be as bad as the Games, but even I can sense the doubt in my voice. Haymitch comes up to us.

"Johanna is back in the hospital. They flooded the room when she was taking the test and she couldn't handle it, you should probably go see her." I take off immediately and leave Katniss and Haymitch alone. I find her room.

She's sitting on the bed, not even hiding her tears. She looks at me, her hair is starting to grow back, but it looks so weird at this stage. I take her hand and lean on her softly.

"Finnick... I couldn't do it. I couldn't break free from the Capitol. They've destroyed me." Her voice is so broken.

"Shh, that's not true, you're still you. We'll get Snow." I say comfortingly.

"Just make sure he doesn't get you, you're the only one I have left Finn." She brushes back her hair and turns away from me. I kiss her hand and take my leave.

I ponder about telling Annie at night, but decide against it. I can't tell her, I can't leave her worrying. I talk to Katniss and she agrees she isn't tell her family anything. I write a little poem and hide it under the doll for Annie to find later. I wonder if she suspects anything though. That night I hold her so tightly she actually has to ask if she can break free for a little bit. She doesn't seem to feel good either.


	60. Chapter 60

**Alright... so here's your cannon ending, kiddies. Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I awake and quietly leave Annie, kissing her goodbye. Gale and I head into the hovercraft and meet with Katniss and Boggs. Everyone looks different in their uniforms.

It's all for the TV, we're the Star Squad, special footage of the victors fighting to rally the people. We're taken to the Capitol, just the outskirts. That's where we make camp. The ride was weird, heading over Districts so quickly, seeing the damage and victories. We're winning.

We don't get any footage and there isn't anything to do. I sit on the ground and think about Annie, not like I used, more about wondering what she's doing with her children and schools. What she's eating. We are all itching to fight. We passed the test for a reason.

There are two sisters and one of them was killed this morning. It was sad, but, well, that's war I guess. But the biggest surprise was a young boy with blond hair and blue eyes walking towards us. Peeta was joining our squad.

Katniss naturally freaks out, but it is official. He tries to remain normal, and it sounds like he wants to be himself again. So we try to help him while we wait around for nothing. He says he doesn't know what is real and what is fake. So I tell him to ask questions just like Annie does. We break into shifts to guard him. He always talks about the Games with me, since I personally watched them up close.

"Katniss tried to kill me with trackers? Real or not real?"

I have to think about what I saw on the TV again, that girl meant to kill, "She was trying to get you all Peeta, real."

"I killed tributes? Real or not real?"

"Yes you did, there was one in the very beginning that you made sure was dead to prove to the Careers your worth. The girl who ate the Nightlock you picked while waiting for Katniss, and in the Quarter Quell I watched you kill Brutus because he killed Chaff."

Peeta stares at his hands and tries to make sense of it. And so goes the game of Real or Not Real. I think it helps him, but he always leaves the hard questions to Katniss. I feel bad for her. She seems to be moping around. She doesn't like Peeta here, but Haymitch yelled at her for not being nicer.

I put my arm carefully on his shoulder. It's dark and almost everyone is sleeping. I pull out the rope from inside my shirt. It's shorter and frayed then ever and I offer it to him.

"I used this trick when I was caught in my head with Annie. It helps for distractions." He takes the rope and curls it around his fingers. "You may not remember Peeta, but you and I were good friends during the Quell."

"I know you brought me back to life for her," he says stumbling on the knot.

I shake my head and smile, "sure, maybe, but also because I knew what a great guy you were. When I first saw you, you had so much charisma, a real charmer. You loved Katniss."

"Everyone says that, but she didn't love me," he angrily tugs the rope.

"I thought that too Peeta, but she does. It may take her a while to figure it out, but she really loves you and wants to protect you." I rub his shoulder a bit.

"She doesn't seem very thrilled with me."

"Well, deep down, you know her. She'll come around." I look at the time and yawn, speaking of her, it's her turn to guard. I go and wake her. I briefly listen to their conversation before I pass out to sleep.

She tries, but is left speechless around some of his questions. I still think they are in love. Most of the time, I see Katniss ready to sneak off with a Holo, which is a map of the arena – I mean Capitol. She wants to get to Snow.

We are told we will finally have action today and are directed down to the saddest street of the Capitol. Abandoned and not too important. The cameras are ready, I brush out my hair and we start rolling. Boggs shows us the holo and someone has to trigger it. I raise my hand, but neither Katniss or I get picked.

The camera team decides to spice up the shot with some gun noises and smoke. I roll my eyes. We get ready and Gale triggers the pod. Lots of bullets hit us overhead and we duck and cover. Our director tells me my reaction was perfect and I don't need to do it again, but the others... are not so good at acting. They try to recapture their reactions.

We all start giggling, it seems so stupid. Boggs starts to come over to calm us down when he accidentally steps backwards triggering a bomb. The bomb swipes his legs clean off. Everyone is in shock. I turn away from the mutilated figure, my mind can't handle these images. People run over, but I get worried they'll trigger more. Katniss is in the same daze I am.

The blast knocked Messala, a crew member, so hard back to where we had entered, that her breathing has stopped. I can handle this. I begin CPR and try to block out the rest of the hell that is induced around us. I need my concentration. I press on her chest and breathe into her mouth. I see Gale running around, and more bombs going off. I keep in count to the numbers until I start choking on something.

I look up and find a large black haze overcoming us from above, blocking the area we came from. I pick Messala up and point it out to the others. I look at everyone for the first time. Boggs is bleeding up a storm, someone was captured in a pod that is squeezing blood out of him. I can't stand to look at it. I run, carrying Messala to a house in the Capitol.

We get a run through, Katniss is now in charge of the Holo, Boggs is dead, Peeta is locked up in the closet screaming, having gone mad again. Things are going horribly. Then there's the power struggle. We need to keep moving, the haze will be upon, so will other people trying to get a hold of us. Jackson thinks she's in charge.

"No, I am here with special orders from President Coin to kill Snow." We all look at Katniss as she weaves lies. I know they're lies. But I believe in her. I want to be a part of it. I side with Katniss.

"I'm going with Katniss, you do what you want," Gale says immediately, more people follow and we're in consensus.

I take Boggs's gun, "Ready when you are Soldier Everdeen." She smiles at my comment. Things are real now. There is real danger now. There is an argument about heading out the way we came in, but they think the fog might cover us for a bit. We put our gas masks on. I go over to Peeta and make sure his is on tightly as well.

We sift through the black goo and notice that we were right. It had stopped the other pods. We break and enter into a house and rest after a few blocks. The house is pretty and I recall vague memories of a steamy party in this area. Someone sits an unconscious Peeta on the couch and we all sit. Waiting for our next command.

Katniss told us if we wanted to stop we could do it right there and now, but none of us did. We are all waiting and discussing the best way to go when the TV blares and a special emergency broadcast is played. They burn down the building with Boggs, but claim the rest of us dead.

The voice over shows me using CPR and ducking into the shelter. They call me a hideous human being full of lies. But they say much worse things about Katniss. They call her a mockery of the rebellion, a child, and in true Capitol fashion a Mockingjoke. They have a special broadcast of her symbolism. It's right there when I realize no one broke through the broadcast.

That means everyone in District 13 thinks we're dead. Even Annie. I can picture her now, crawling into a corner, crying, shutting herself off from the world. Johanna is there, I have a little hope, but if she also thinks I'm dead, I'm not quite sure. My heart starts sinking, but I try to stop it. I need to be here when we kill Snow.

I need to stand behind the Mockingjay. We stare at each other after the broadcast, asking what happens next. Peeta sits up.

"You kill me." He says dryly. I remember the footage, it showed his violent outburst, what he looks like with the venom. I hadn't known he was awake or I would have distracted him. "I just murdered someone, I'm only a danger!"

"It's not your fault Peeta," I try to plead with him. I feel so bad for him. We all try to console him and we refuse to hand him over to Snow. Gale brings us over dinner, canned food that was stock-piled in anticipation of the revolution.

We chow down while watching the TV again. This time they make it like an arena tribute. They show Katniss's face, and Peeta's and Gale's and then mine. I feel my heart sag again, knowing Annie sees it too. I hope Haymitch had the mind to make sure she didn't. But nonetheless, she'd soon be getting the news that after only two weeks she is now a widow.

Coin breaks through on the broadcast, almost pleased. She says Katniss is now a martyr and that the people should still fight. With that we clean up and leave, heading deep down into some stretchy sewers. We have an Avox with us that helps with the camera crew, who knows the area well, since they're forced to work down here.

The water sloshes by us. I find it repulsive. He finds us a place where we can rest, but there's something odd about the area. We all keep hearing it. Something calling for Katniss. I take a few deep breaths, knowing something more is happening. I try to imagine Annie, my beach, and then my mind chooses to do something nice for me. It gives me the image of a little boy, with perfect green eyes and bronze skin, but outrageous curly brown hair. I grin at the image.

It helps me to keep going. I'm coming home Annie. I'll be there for you. And suddenly the noise gets louder. Peeta's eyes grow weird with haze.

"They're coming for you Katniss, you have to go!"

We all refuse to leave her and follow her through the caverns. The Mutts kill everything in their way. I shouldn't have been so far behind, and I can run to catch up, but the others can't so I stay with them, bashing heads. The mutts eat right through the peacekeepers who showed up to attack us on orders as well.

I see a light and a ladder and almost reach it, watching the team carry each other up. I watch Katniss scurry up the ladder as I try to bash my way through the mutts to join them, but it's pointless there's too many and I made the mistake of carrying up the rear. They begin to overwhelm me as the living number of human flesh around us starts to lower. The stench of the sewers is now overpowered by the fresh bodies lying in its waste.

I feel a bit of relief knowing she's safe. I stand weakly, bashing the lizards with my trident along with a few others. I hear them screaming... we're being outnumbered.

My heart beats faster as the remainder of fighters still with me in the sewer are eaten. All the creatures focus on me. I manage to knock off a few but they take large bites at me. Ripping the flesh on most of my arm clear off.

I scream, not a sad one, one of pure pain. My entire body stings as some of the putrid water splashes into my fresh wounds. I notice another group of Avoxes wandering towards me. If I can just hold on a bit longer.

A lizard pulls my neck over and I yell. I look up at Katniss, looking at her face staring down at me in tears. My life starts to go before my eyes. I see my father, throwing me a net for the first time, I can so clearly make out that salty smell of water. The sun dancing on my face and bronzing it. I see Grandma C smiling as she introduces my lady, the ocean... and then I see the ocean as it produces my mermaid, Annie. Her face dances around in my head, smiling. I can clearly look down in my hands and still lace my hands over the golden trident from the Games. I see Mags and I laughing. Then the happiness shatters. I see Annie crying, her brother being decapitated. I see myself crying, watching all the people I love being stripped away from me. And then a weird thing happens. I think I see Annie, in the hospital, but right now, in this exact moment. I don't know what it means but it must mean something bad. I want to pause it, I can still make it out of here if I try. I can still do this. I can still go back to Annie. Annie needs me.

I watch Katniss turn her back and look away as one of the mutts bites a large hole into my neck. I fall to the ground suffocating. Another one knocks me clear off behind a wall. My eyes are still locked to the hole where Katniss and the others climbed out of. I feel the wound, but not to my delight, it didn't go all the way but it went pretty far. I clench the two pieces of flesh together, lying on the murky ground, sobbing in pain, or at least with whatever sound I seem to be mustering right now. I try to reconnect my throat. To hold it together before I bleed to death.

The lizard mutts stare at me for a moment – perhaps they pity me... which wouldn't make sense. No, they are making sure I am not dead yet. Snow wants to find me, and make an example of me. He's keeping me alive to play with the last few seconds I have on this Earth. I watch them run towards new, fresh prey as I lay on the ground. Both my hands are occupied trying to keep the blood gushing from my throat together. My legs are practically dead with fatigue. My trident is broken. And my left arm has been gnawed on so much it's useless. I can only use it to try and keep my throat together.

I can't even cry. No sound can come out of my throat. I can't even call Annie's name on my deathbed. The sewers, what a perfect place for Finnick Odair to die.

I watch as the Holo is thrown through the sewer entrance and blows bits of Mutts and rebels and Avoxes around the area. I am thankful I was knocked so far back to avoid the blast.

I hear the last of the wandering Avoxes screams. I slowly crawl, with what little motion I have left in my legs. The remainder of the mutts leave me for what I can only assume is the rest of the live flesh in the tunnels. I crawl to a sewer gate and look out at the Capitol.

The bars are so tight it would be impossible for me to break out. At least I will have a pretty view while I die.

I sit like that, I eventually take what little remains of my shirt and try to wrap it around my neck, it's pointless. It's soaked in blood within seconds. I sit like that, in my awkward dying position. I think about all the things I will never experience.

Annie and I growing old. Having children with Annie. Seeing District 4 again. Watching Snow die. He's won. He's beaten me. I hate my mind. It has never been on my side. Always questioning me, conjuring images. I think about today, when I really thought I might just have a child with Annie. I guess I had hoped for too much.

I can't even count the time, but every passing minute my body grows a little stiffer and colder. I recall the 74th Hunger Games... they'll leave me like this while I wait for the killing blow, I keep telling myself.

I can hear the feet of the mutts coming towards me again. This is it.

I watch as fireworks fall by President Snow's mansion. They're decorating my death like they did in the arena again. _Go get them Mockingjay._ It's my last thought. I slowly close my eyes as I feel the tongue of a lizard on my arm, still clenching to my throat.

I try to soothe myself. Annie. Annie. _Annie._

"Finn?" I'm dreaming. I know I am. I am holding Annie's hand. I can see her belly is a bit rounder then I remember. Her eyes are dripping long white tears. Everything is foggy and it's hard to tell what's going on. I am surrounded by people. My friends.

I see Haymitch grinning. Johanna is in tears. So is Katniss. Peeta smiles. Beete sits in his chair with a new trident in hand.

I try to laugh in my dream but only a coughing comes out and my throat hurts.

They can't hear it though. They're all looking at me, having a funeral for me. Saying their goodbyes. Any minute now my dead friends will come to retrieve me and bring them to them.

Any minute.


	61. Chapter 61

**But really, that never happened... this is totally my head cannon - my personal ending. :) So accuracy - you can suck it!**

**Hunger Games are not mine.**

* * *

I feel a light smack on my forehead as I try to close my eyes again.

"You're not dying on us yet Finnick." I look up at Haymitch.

I blink a few times. How could I feel that? You never feel things in dreams. I try to open my mouth but only an odd moaning/breathing noise comes out. Almost like that of an avox.

"Don't try talking yet Finnick... they've still got a lot of patching up to do." Johanna smiles.

And then it hits me. I am alive. I don't know how, but I am. I shake my head back and forth as tears sting my eyes and I reach towards Annie. I can only move my right arm.

She comes in to me, kissing my lips. With my shaky right arm I stroke her hair.

"Well, the impossible has been done. Finnick gets his ass chewed by crazy mutant creatures and he still looks beautiful." Katniss grins. I look at her. She looks horrible as well. Her skin is singed, like she was part of the fireworks display I saw. Peeta looks that way too.

I want to give her a sassy comeback but can only nod my head in an odd way. I think she understands what I mean.

"Now this may be shocking, so brace yourself Finnick. The mirror!" Johanna holds it up like the Holy Grail and shows me my face. Her face looks so much older and her hair is growing back in the patches but it is finally getting longer.

It's still the same me, almost. There is a large scar over my left eyebrow, and I look at my throat and see a disgusting line of stitches piecing it back together. My hair is a bit singed by my ears. And yet, for the first time in my life. I don't hate the person staring back at me.

I try my best to smile and Johanna takes the mirror back. Haymitch touches my shoulder.

"They wanted to know what to do with your left arm. I said it's up to you. You can replace it if you'd like." I just look at him, grinning back at me.

I try to laugh, but it ends up hurting my lungs. But Haymitch understands. It would be my way to tribute to Chaff... and now I understand why he never got his hand replaced. Because it's a part of him. It was a way of telling the Capitol 'no'. I know I should have no fear of the Capitol now, but it's an odd fear to shake off.

"Oh no." It's Annie. The old Annie. My eyes shoot over to her. The real old Annie. "No Haymitch, how will he hold the baby if he only has one hand?" She looks at me and in a joking manner, "You're getting a new one."

Baby? I reach my hand out and touch her belly. Annie starts to cry again, but it's happy.

"Yes." She blushes. "You're going to be a father."

I open my mouth and try to form words, the inside of my mouth feels soggy and salty. It's like my brain is preventing me from speaking. Annie just hushes me and lays her head on my chest.

Everyone else leaves.

"In two months they said, Finn. In two months we are going to have a baby boy." I lay my head on hers and we just stay interlocked for a long time.

A nurse walks in, I remember her from District 13, I think it's Katniss's mother. She smiles at me as she checks some things on a clip-board. She looks at Annie. "Annie, would you mind doing me a favor for Finnick?"

She looks up from me and looks towards Dr. Everdeen

"Would you mind getting some fresh towels from the laundry room? It would be a big favor to me." She smiles at Annie who nods at her head excitedly and walks out of the room, with a cute little waddle. Dr. Everdeen sees that she is gone and closes the door. "She always likes to help." She says smiling as she pulls the cold metal pan out from under me.

I blush with embarrassment when I figure out what it is. She looks over at me still smiling. She slides it back under me just as Annie walks back in. So I'm right back where I started.

She's a little out of breath from such a short walk and Dr. Everdeen pulls a chair over to her by me and has her sit. She adjusts some of the tubes heading in to me.

"We've been thinking to cut you a little less on the morphling, now that you're awake. We still have special pills if need be, but at the rate you're healing you'll be better in no time!" She smiles and leaves Annie and I in peace. I want to ask where the little blond girl is, but I can't speak yet.

Annie looks at me. We don't say anything she just blinks at me and curves her mouth. Then she starts stroking my hair.

"They talked about not telling me... but I heard them anyways. They said you were as good as dead. But they also said that with Katniss and Peeta, but everyone is okay." She breaks her gaze and turns to the side. "It all happened the day they told me I was pregnant. But you're all looking so good now and Finnick..."

She stops, and just watches me. I hold on to every word.

"I was strong. I wanted to fall to the ground and shut off knowing you were gone. But I didn't. No, I knew I had a child now, and you would help me no matter what."

I give her a big smile, or the biggest I can muster at least.


	62. Chapter 62

**Hunger Games are not mine...**

* * *

Dr. Everdeen's predictions were correct. I feel much better and stronger after only one month. I can move my legs a bit, but she still wants me to be careful. I work on speech exercises, I have to completely rebuild my mouth and sound due to the replacement pieces in my throat.

Katniss comes in and tells me everything. How she's getting married to Peeta soon, how she's gotten closer to herself again. She says it was really hard to see her sister die. I look away as she says that. The Little Angel, I wonder if she'll meet my little sister. Katniss leans over me and gives me a kiss, thanking me for everything I had done. Then she explains that she shot Coin. I look at her, to be sure I heard right, but I muster a smile. Anyone who skipped my wedding, can't have a heart.

Peeta is my next visitor, everyone comes for a week at a time. He smiles and tells me he still has some flashes of venom, but he's back to himself. Everyone keeps thanking me and I can't understand why. I did nothing, in most ways I acted only to keep Annie alive.

Gale and Johanna come together, as lovers. I laugh at them, which just sounds like I am crying, but still, it's sound.

"What? Why are you laughing Odair?" Johanna sticks out her tongue. I smile at her and Gale.

"We get along, that's all." Gale blushes. I wonder if he accepted that he and Katniss wouldn't work out.

Everything is new, and in a weird way boring. I try to think of what's next in my life but I can't figure it out. There's no people to pleasure, no Games to play, no Snow to kill. I feel my body being lifted into a chair and then hurried to a room. I look up and see Haymitch with a huge smile on his face. I've never seen him so excited.

I hear Annie scream, and I try to stand up, I am still getting used to my new hand. It works like my old one, only it's electronic, it looks like skin though. The Capitol always had these marvels at their fingertips while everyone else suffered.

They reel my into the room and next to Annie. She's crying and screaming, but she stops as I take her hand. She looks at me.

A nurse yells, "Push Annie!" Annie makes a loud grunting noise as she does what she is asked. I never let go of her hand.

It seems to go on for hours, and it takes three of them to finally get me in the mood. The baby is coming! I dance happily in my head.

I step out of the chair, not to anyone's happiness, they want me to stay put. But I want to help Annie. I lean in and kiss her, the motion hurts my throat but I don't mind. Her breathing slows and everything seems to stop and become still.

And then we hear a little cry of a baby. "Congratulations Mrs. and Mr. Odair," a doctor announces, "it's a boy!" Annie sits up and hugs me feverishly. I start crying tears of joy, so happy, so glad I am alive. They bring the baby to us, I hold my son tightly in my arms. His green eyes still hiding from the world as he takes his first breaths of life. His skin is a little tan already and he has far too much hair for it to be coming from my side of the family. I giggle with Annie.

"And no harm will ever come to him," Annie smiles as I let her hold her creation. Our creation.

"Tri – ton." I feebly get out. The doctors rush to me, seeing that the therapy is paying off, a whole new wave overcomes Annie and she smiles at me. And takes my hand.

"I love that name," she looks at our son, "what do you think Triton?" The baby cries and Annie laughs. I lay with Annie that whole night, with our child in arms. Finally we are a family.

People come to see us, Haymitch, Peeta, Katniss, Gale, and Johanna. Johanna takes the baby and looks at it. Her eyes look so kind as she gently strokes the baby's cheek.

"You have some amazing parents you know," she blushes as the baby tries to play with her short hair. She looks at Gale with a smile, "I want one too." They both just gaze at each other.

Katniss seems a little annoyed by this until she sees the baby up close. She smirks as she makes the connections between the mother and father. Peeta jokingly tries to make the same comment that Johanna did about wanting one. Katniss brushes him off. He'll get to her though.


	63. Chapter 63

**The TRUE ending. 3**

**Hunger Games are not mine... afterword listed... well, afterwards. **

* * *

I run through the water. The sea breeze catches my hair as my three children tackle me onto the sand. I laugh. My youngest one, Meredith, kisses me on my face.

"I wuv you daddy!" She bats her eyes. I scoop her up.

"Yea and what do you really want?" I laugh. My two boys follow me back to our house. I stand back in admiration. They offered us the victor house back, but Annie and I refused, instead we decided on living where we first met, on our beach.

We built it together. They said I was straining myself, but I felt better the minute I held my eldest son in my arms. Triton is looking more like me everyday, he's strong and handsome. But he reminds me of someone else. He loves reading, we read together everyday. Adrian and Meredith will crawl into my lap too, but they don't get the joy that he does from it. The other day he told me he wanted to write a story about my life.

He asks me questions. Most I find are hard to answer. Have you killed anyone? Did you really spend all that time in the hospital? He hears most of these rumors about me at the school. I try to tell him which ones are true and explain why, but it's hard.

Unfortunately, Adrian is turning more and more into his Aunt Johanna. I laugh though, it's really not that unfortunate. He just likes to speak his mind, a trait he picked up from her. But he's also always expressing himself. I told all my children they can be what they wanted to. He told me he wanted to be a painter, which was perfect since it gave me an excuse to take him to see Peeta, Katniss and Haymitch. Not that I ever need an excuse.

And then my youngest, and my pride and joy, is my little baby Meredith. With the most gorgeous locks I have seen and the smile that can make your day perfect. She's sweet and adorable and daddy's little girl. The problem is, she knows that, and she always gets away with more then she should. Annie says I am a softie.

I go inside our sea side cottage and hug Annie around her protruding belly. I wonder who's coming next. Johanna said that we're breeding like rabbits, but I don't mind. Annie kisses me. I look at her closer. How long have we come? I've survived two Hunger Games, countless injuries, mental breakdowns, and a massive neck wound. I guess you could say it was an Odair's luck.

The kids jump onto the counter as they await the crab cakes. The smell wafts through the air and I twirl Adrian around. Annie starts singing and I take my childrens' hands and dance with them. Annie and I have our moments. I will wake up at night with a nightmare, Annie will disappear when the kids break something, but other than that we cope.

I kiss each one of my children softly and start to cry. Triton says he's never seen someone cry so much, but I explain to him the differences between happy tears and sad tears. I only ever cry happy ones because I am the happiest man in Panem. There's a knock on the door.

Triton goes to answer and sees his cousin, Timber, the little girl with the gray eyes and spiky brown hair, they run outside to play. Everyone has packages in their arms and they place them around our small palm tree. Katniss and Peeta, Gale and Johanna, Beete, and Haymitch with Effie. I don't know how the last one happened, but it did. And who I am to think anything of it? The children all run around us at our feet. Effie steps in the house and rearranges some of the furniture and I laugh. She scolds the kids on their manners, but she smiles good-heartily. Katniss's little boy and girl beg to open the presents right now, even though the party has just started. Beete's daughter, who's the oldest of the children, tries to settle them and keep them together. She's incredibly smart with the games she makes up for the kids.

Everyone insists on having Christmas here with us, it's cold, 80 degrees like always. Annie comes over and wraps her hands around me, she kisses me gently and shows me the present she got me. A purple hat. We all laugh. We sit together, with our children on our laps. The moment freezes and you can see all our departed friends and family with us. They're happy, because for once in all of our lives we're happy.

And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

* * *

**This is really how I pictured the book ending... for Finnick at least. I won't lie, I threw Mockingjay at my wall when he decided to die, I mean really?! It didn't even make sense, so Missbexiee here made it a little more logical. One other part I'd like to clear up, is that yes, Bex was copied off of my name, I was 14 when I first wrote this and didn't feel like changing the name... but nonetheless, if I ever was a Capitol child I'd be sure to be named Missbexiee. ) I hope you all enjoyed this tale, and that I am a good teller... please leave a review of your thoughts.**

**I really wrote this story for myself, and for no one else, but after I finished writing I knew I had to share it. Because I wanted it to be everything that happened in MY head, my little thoughts of what Finnick was up to before and after his games, etc. **

**Thanks for sticking to the end you guys - that means the world!**


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